striktlymi:


Disobeying instructions?? Sounds more like a teacher and student relationship.

I don't believe in dishing out instructions to someone I choose to have a relationship with. I don't think that gives room for effective communication.




I also frown against defining roles for I and my gal in the relationship.

Anyone who is at home first should take care of the cleaning. It's not even required for my gal to help with the cleaning though it can be appreciated.

Taking care of the kids should be a collaborative effort and not something left to just one party to take care of.

Couldn't read through the others for now but the first two points I do not agree with.

striktlymi:


Disobeying instructions?? Sounds more like a teacher and student relationship.

I don't believe in dishing out instructions to someone I choose to have a relationship with. I don't think that gives room for effective communication.




I also frown against defining roles for I and my gal in the relationship.

Anyone who is at home first should take care of the cleaning. It's not even required for my gal to help with the cleaning though it can be appreciated.

Taking care of the kids should be a collaborative effort and not something left to just one party to take care of.

Couldn't read through the others for now but the first two points I do not agree with.

emusmith:


So it looks... Nobody likes Instructions but What are instructions?

There are simply things that should be followed duly.

Mind you: I didn't use the word "dishing".
There is a mild, soft way to give instructions that your spouse will totally understand what you're saying: You bend your body, your neck, choose your words, give reasons...

Whether you like it or not, Instructions are instrumental to the success of every marriage.

God loves us (more than we can ever love our wives) and yet He gave us instructions.

Mrsfaithhh:

Wow I'm surprisd dat dis is comin from a guy.An average nigerian guy wld oppose dis.I was goin to comment on d oda lists but u already took d words outa my mout.A counter thread tho.
@Enusmith he's a nice guy sha o. He said I get ur point..how many guys wld say dat,they argue wit d aim of winning d arguement.
My dad gives my mum instructions ,she obeyed all his instructions to achiev d "submissiv wife" title.Now d friendship is dead.he's just d oga and my mum is just d suborrdinate,so wen he needed for d both of dem to gist and fall on each oda lo and bhold the surbordinate didn't feel so comfortable doin dat wit her master(my dad).Abi how many surbordinate dey gist wit dia masters?there's dat "fear" of ah!my oga so d rapour isn't there anymor?its was just all abt master talk and let me obey.
So dats why I fear for men who ar so desperate for "rulership"instead of "leadership" cos at d end of d day it all falls bak on dem.

striktlymi:


Should I play 'god' to my gal or wife?? I think not!

If eventually I get me self a gal I definitely would prefer a simple arrangement where we talk things over, agree on them and carry them out together, rather than giving her instructions that should be obeyed.

If giving instructions works for your relationship, cool!

kalufelix:
1. Gossip
2. Gossip
3. Gossip
4. Gossip
5. Gossip
6. Gossip
7. Gossip
8. Gossip

emusmith:


We are reasoning together here... Don't get heated please.

I'm not playing "god" to her...I'm actually a "spiritual head/ god" to her (biblically speaking)

I will love my wife. I will be to her what God is to me....Agape love... I'm currently learning how to do some difficult house chores in preparation to helping her when we get consummated.

Don't misquote me... My thoughts are biblical and may be deeper...

emusmith:


So it looks... Nobody likes Instructions but What are instructions?

There are simply things that should be followed duly.

Mind you: I didn't use the word "dishing".
There is a mild, soft way to give instructions that your spouse will totally understand what you're saying: You bend your body, your neck, choose your words, give reasons...

Whether you like it or not, Instructions are instrumental to the success of every marriage.

God loves us (more than we can ever love our wives) and yet He gave us instructions.

Mrsfaithhh:

So since dats how u hav painted d "instruction" op u agree dat urrr wife can also giv u instructions?
U just said "nobody" likes instructions.
God does not say we hav to obey him.he stands at d door and knock if anyone ...u knw d rest.he does not knock and instruct us to open d door.he does not force us to serve him.
Please note dat even If bible says we shud submit as unto God,now dat does not make u "God".if not wives shud b praying in dia husbands name.because the way men now compare demselves to God ehn,God sef dey vex.lol.but u dint tell me if u giv instructions to ur frends.the headship in marriage isn't a rulership position but a leader/servant position.

striktlymi:


**smiles**

Don't worry the conversation hasn't gotten anywhere near heated.

All I have done so far is express my personal view which I do not make the case for everyone.

Each person has what works for him or her. I, as an individual, will not be comfortable with the instructions thingy.

It can't work for me, given the kind of person I am. Given instructions, for me, sounds more like a one man show where the wife is probably an 'o yes member'.

I can't possibly be married to a lady who sits and wait for me to give instructions for her to obey. I want my lady to be actively involved in the process of decision making.

emusmith:
hahaha...Newton's 3rd Law states: To every Action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

In our case, To every thread on a particular gender, there is an equal and opposite thread on the other gender, of course.

So, This is a Counter Attack to the other thread, 8 male behaviors that annoy women.

Men too have what annoys them...


Below are some:


1. Disobedience To Instructions:

This trait is as old as Adam. Eve introduced it and see where we are today.
He tells you, buy food items with this money, on her way to the market, she sees shoes, and spends the money on it. Simple Instruction Neglected (SIN)


2. Negligence

Some ladies are so carefree and negligent. They have the whole day(during weekends) to clean the house but it's when they see the hobby's car coming in that they remember to start cleaning. Neglecting to watch what their kids bring back from school is very costly. Neglecting to really have a tet-a-tet chat with their teenage daughter have negative consequence.


3. Laziness

This is normal. But being too lazy isn't! I believe women that knows they're lazy should at least get a house help or something. You see a well dressed mum walking with dirty children, and you wonder! Or enter the house and begin to feel like leaving the next minute.


4. Flippancy

The way some ladies/ women talk sometimes, it is as if there is an award if
you win the argument...lol...
I asked a girl once, How's your day? I sat there for the next 45 minutes... lol...this is lovely if Only you love the person sha....... But some women can talk oooo!


5. Over Estimation Of Self

This has more to do with ladies. Some of them think they're just OKAY and don't need any adjustment, even if they need, it won't come from you! So get into husby's house with that and they're "humbled"...You read their PM, "I am okay the way I am."
I believe in adjustment even as I love to learn new things...This attitude in these set of ladies stem from their LOW SELF esteem personality. (To find them? Those that'll quote me on this )


6. Pessimism

Some ladies find it fun to say words like this , OMG, I'm so dead or It's over for me...I know guys do it too...but if you notice, ladies do it more when with a guy to get Pity or Petting.
This is not good as there will be times when the man will need you to be optimistic. Two wrongs can't make a right!


7. Gossip

Hehehehe! It's like this is the main one. Most Ladies are naturally inclined to gossip. It's like food to them... Do you know Linda Ikeji or Wendy (In the US), it's plain modernised version of gossips!
They gossip everything that walks by...


8. Sarcasm

Don't take to heart everything a lady says... most times she says things she doesn't really mean outa emotions... Ladies are good at sarcasm. They say things and want you to guess it out...Not all guys are good at guesses... They like you but frown at you or ignore you as if they hate you...That's Sarcasm.
Guys don't like it, ladies.

I hope I've been lenient enough in this list...

Guys, open up, Air your views...

na only you get front page

emusmith:


...

striktlymi:


**smiles**

Don't worry the conversation hasn't gotten anywhere near heated.

All I have done so far is express my personal view which I do not make the case for everyone.

Each person has what works for him or her. I, as an individual, will not be comfortable with the instructions thingy.

It can't work for me, given the kind of person I am. Given instructions, for me, sounds more like a one man show where the wife is probably an 'o yes member'.

I can't possibly be married to a lady who sits and wait for me to give instructions for her to obey. I want my lady to be actively involved in the process of decision making.

Mrsfaithhh:

Ar u married?

Valadmiral:
d next topic no go be .... 8 thingz men do dt anoy women ... nd den front page...... stewpwed pipu

striktlymi:


Nah!

Mrsfaithhh:

U sound married.