Please I need female advice or better still an advice from a male folk who understands.
I just want to know how you cope being the only girl in the midst of guys in the house; handling the house chores especially cooking(have to cook for them to eat each time they feel hungry and If I don't do it I will become a bad person to them). It's beginning to weigh me down. A family of 5, advice pls.

Itsflame:
Please I need female advice or better still an advice from a male folk who understands.
I just want to know how you cope being the only girl in the midst of guys in the house; handling the house chores especially cooking(have to cook for them to eat each time they feel hungry and If I don't do it I will become a bad person to them). It's beginning to weigh me down. A family of 5, advice pls.

What else will happen if you don't do the things they want you to?

I'm the first child so i kind of understand your plight but just do it with the mind that it definitely won't last forever and they will soon go out and deeply appreciate what you do for them .



Why don't you cook things like soup and stew in bulk like onxe in a week and ask them to boil rice or anything else when they are hungry , that definitely won't be too much to ask them.

Bae,i can totally relate.
Am the only girl also with two brothers
They expect you to do all that with the pretence that you wl need it in future.
My advice,do your best,let them know when you are tried,they are humans na,just be honest with them.

Itsflame:
Please I need female advice or better still an advice from a male folk who understands.
I just want to know how you cope being the only girl in the midst of guys in the house; handling the house chores especially cooking(have to cook for them to eat each time they feel hungry and If I don't do it I will become a bad person to them). It's beginning to weigh me down. A family of 5, advice pls.

consider yourself lucky to have 4 brothers around you in the first place. you have unlimited protection and attention from all of them - the only thing you owe them is food and few domestic chores here & there - what's not to like?

many girls like you wish they had brothers to protect them from unwanted toasters & you are here complaining? the chores would prepare you for what you would face in your matrimony. consider this an industrial attachment or the 12-month compulsory national youth service.

be happy!!!!

Where's your mom? She needs to teach your brothers how to help out in the house.

I had such experience with my sister with 9 boys in the family. What she always did was to purposly cook the food and make it undelicious e.g she will purposly cook watery stew and watery soup without source and plenty salt. Finally we decided to start doing it our selves

Itsflame:
Please I need female advice or better still an advice from a male folk who understands.
I just want to know how you cope being the only girl in the midst of guys in the house; handling the house chores especially cooking(have to cook for them to eat each time they feel hungry and If I don't do it I will become a bad person to them). It's beginning to weigh me down. A family of 5, advice pls.

You mean u have two brother's and mum with dad and u saying the cooking is weighing u down.

I just don't get u in this emboldened parts.
Because they are preparing you for the future when u see house chores as something to be done easily without stress.

What would u now say of a family of 7 where they have just only one girl.
Better brace up and do what u gonna do because all this things doesn't last for eternity but its for some moments.

And don't tell me the guys just lazy at home doing nothing and just eat, play and sleep.

What happened to they learning how to cook?What is your mum's position about kitchen affairs?

Except you are the youngest in the house and your brothers kind of treat you as a kid sister,I don't think you should have to do the cooking all the time.
You say it is weighing you down?Do something about it.

Though i think you will need all this in the nearest future.but one or two of them should be good at washing the dishes and some other persons help with keeping the rooms clean while u do the cooking and some other things to support them.if they are far older than you and do not have nice sense of understanding or cooperation then there will be little trouble o.i learnt the act of GOOD COOKING AND HOMe CLEANING FROM MY FATHER. A great mentor. But i can tell also vict none of other brothers took vict manner up. They all now depend on strangers for cooking and cleaning now that they r on their own. So that may be too bad for them

Sorry I cannot relate I have one brother and he gets to eat all kinds of food when all his sisters are around but when he comes to visit I can confidently say that I can cross my legs and he will cook up a storm and I eat and leave the dishes for him. When my dad is around he also cooks. Mostly the foofoo because he says I don't know how to make it LOL. When you get tired of cooking for them you will stop. When they get hungry enough they'll carry their spoiled, entitled asses into the kitchen and fend for themselves.

Redoil:

I had such experience with my sister with 9 boys in the family. What she always did was to purposly cook the food and make it undelicious e.g she will purposly cook watery stew and watery soup without source and plenty salt. Finally we decided to start doing it our selves

Haha!! So, do you now resent her for it? Or do you believe she was acting within reason? Be honest

I blame ur parents (mum especially), na them cause everything.
I come from a family, where there are more or less equal number of female and male children, right from a tender age we where made to understand that there is nothing like gender-assigned chores in the house...so the girls can pound yam, switch-on the Gen, fix the electronics, cut grass, even wash car sef while the boys can cook, keep the house neat, wash clothes etc...then ppl where like this is not right, "how will a boy enter kitchen and cook when they are big girls in the house"..."why will u be washing d car what are ur brothers doing"...trust me in d end I think it payed off...If my elder bro cook for u here ehn u go wan chop d plait join...also they are certain things in d house that I don't hv to wait for hubby to fix...I just go ahead and do them myself....just do the ones u can do and leave d rest, when correct hunger waya thier head no body go tell them hw far....but ehm...I dnt really think a family of 5 is that "big" for u nt to be able to "manage" abi u ma sef no like work?

When you are tired.let them know,so that they either enter the kitchen themselves,or help themselves out in a restaurant..

Don't believe you are being train for matrimony. You are human for God's sake.

Flytefalls:

Haha!! So, do you now resent her for it? Or do you believe she was acting within reason? Be honest

thoug we know the work is too much for her yet we still see her as a lazy person

This is how women train liabilities for other people's daughters to marry, thk God myself and my brothers are not kitchen lazy and every one cleans up his or her own mess. Even my man's 70-something year old father cooks and takes care of himself when is wife goes for omuguo, how much more his own sons.

Thanks guys, your advice are quite encouraging. I am greatful.

You know, It surprise me to hear girls complaining about house chores. I expect them take that as a preparation for their future's. Though I agreed she needed help from her brothers esp in the area house cleaning, running errands etc. Sometimes, it is from our tradition were boys are treated as kings

You can always cook for them, while they wash the dishes they used. This will also prepare them for bachelorhood, they will come a point and time in their lives they will leave the nest and live on their own, by then they should know how to do their own chores.

cococandy:
Where's your mom? She needs to teach your brothers how to help out in the house.

exactly what I was about to say but in a different way. Your mom raised lazy men that have to depend on their sister for food


so what happens when you travel?



its because you have been doing it for years that's why they think it's their right. Tell them to come and help you out in the kitchen whether with washing the dishes or cleaning up the kitchen if they want to eat except you're their house help. Yeyenotu

Mondisweets:
You can always cook for them, while they wash the dishes they used. This will also prepare them for bachelorhood, they will come a point and time in their lives they will live the nest and live on their own, by then they should know how to do their own chores.

the day i went to my kid brothers house he left piles of used plates there in his kitchen. I know the plates will have been there for weeks and because of the fact that my mom spoilt him e.g leave my baby alone don't stress him . now he's on his own. He was giving me the look to help him wash the plates and that was how I left his house. Parents forget that my baby that they don't want to stress will leave their house one day

Besides cooking what other chores do you carry out? I just hope you are not the type that likes to spend the whole day on her phone and sees cooking as wasting of time cos am preety sure that since you are the only girl you'll be pampered all the time,can you sincerely deny the fact that you brothers will go any length to make you happy? Trust me,you brothers might be annoying but you don't know how proud of you they are..... Guys don't joke with food but the other thing they don't joke more with is their only sister. Just cheer up.

SAMBARRY:
the day i went to my kid brothers house he left piles of used plates there in his kitchen. I know the plates will have been there for weeks and because of the fact that my mom spoilt him e.g leave my baby alone don't stress him . now he's on his own. He was giving me the look to help him wash the plates and that was how I left his house. Parents forget that my baby that they don't want to stress will leave their house one day

you are very wicked o... but hey sometimes you have to show them a little tough love to learn

Redoil:
thoug we know the work is too much for her yet we still see her as a lazy person

That's a shame. Feeding nine boys seems monumental to me and I'm not lazy.

My Nigerian husband is from a house with many older sisters but he has always performed his own chores and shared the ones of the house (they did cook for him as he is much younger, but he also learnt from them how to cook for himself and in turn is able to teach me how to prepare Nigerian food).

A brother can give protection as a sister can show affection but neither need be called upon every single damn day. Nonsense. OP I think you're being fair in your assessment. You aren't complaining of doing the act itself out of love, you are saying it is becoming overwhelming. Talk to your parents. Talk to your brothers. Speak up for yourself.

Cook, and leave the dishes for them to clean up. If they cannot learn to clean up after themes, they will never be responsible. If you must cook and clean up after them, let them ensure you never have to buy credit, change your phone or pay for your hair and nails to get done, they should provide it. Let no-one tell you "it's training for Marriage", last time I checked, clean dishes and cooking strenously did not stop Naija men from cheating and mistreating their wives.

I don't know why parents push this archaic thinking, my dad taught me how to fry an egg, my brother taught me how to boil rice, another taught me how to cook beans. My dad taught everyone how to pound yam.

Naija men want to be served hand and foot, yet will demand equality when it comes to bill-sharing.

cococandy:
Where's your mom? She needs to teach your brothers how to help out in the house.

OP please answer this

For Gods sake where did you see it written that a woman or girl must cater for her brothers! Not even in the bible. Please let them enter the kitchen and do it themselves. They also need to learn how to do house chores even if they get married one day. In a few years to come hardly anyone will be able to afford an all-round house help.
I have seven boys and my girls are the bull dogs here. The bully their brothers into doing their own share of house work and cooking, even when the boys are slightly older than them.
Years back my son refused to hang out the washing saying his sister should do it because it is "girls work" and my husband supported him. I told my daughter to do so without complaint. After she hung the cloths I gave her money to go and buy sweets and biscuits. My son offered to go, I told him it was "girls work". He cried because his sister bought all the things he did not like.

mutter:
For Gods sake where did you see it written that a woman or girl must cater for her brothers! Not even in the bible. Please let them enter the kitchen and do it themselves. They also need to learn how to do house chores even if they get married one day. In a few years to come hardly anyone will be able to afford an all-round house help.
I have seven boys and my girls are the bull dogs here. The bully their brothers into doing their own share of house work and cooking, even when the boys are slightly older than them.
Years back my son refused to hang out the washing saying his sister should do it because it is "girls work" and my husband supported him. I told my daughter to do so without complaint. After she hung the cloths I gave her money to go and buy sweets and biscuits.My son offered to go, I told him it was "girls work". He cried because his sister bought all the things he did not like.

Well done!

Unfortunately most mothers are not preparing their sons for bachelorhood. I have a friend whose kitchen always looks cobwebby and can not prepare simple rice and stew, always begging me to help him out, he is paying for not being domesticated.

You have seven boys and some girls too?

How many kids do you have?

mutter:
For Gods sake where did you see it written that a woman or girl must cater for her brothers! Not even in the bible. Please let them enter the kitchen and do it themselves. They also need to learn how to do house chores even if they get married one day. In a few years to come hardly anyone will be able to afford an all-round house help.
I have seven boys and my girls are the bull dogs here. The bully their brothers into doing their own share of house work and cooking, even when the boys are slightly older than them.
Years back my son refused to hang out the washing saying his sister should do it because it is "girls work" and my husband supported him. I told my daughter to do so without complaint. After she hung the cloths I gave her money to go and buy sweets and biscuits. My son offered to go, I told him it was "girls work". He cried because his sister bought all the things he did not like.

Itsflame:
Please I need female advice or better still an advice from a male folk who understands.
I just want to know how you cope being the only girl in the midst of guys in the house; handling the house chores especially cooking(have to cook for them to eat each time they feel hungry and If I don't do it I will become a bad person to them). It's beginning to weigh me down. A family of 5, advice pls.

How old are you?
How old are they?

If they are your brothers surely you can tell your mom that cooking seperatley for them is taking its toll on you. You are thier sister, nor their maid. Call a family meeting and make your feelings known in a polite manner. They might tease you for it but they'll know its a serious matter since you called a family meeting about it and they'll definitely reduce their demands.

Call them one by one days after days to teach them how to cook if they dont know. It is not completely your responsibility in my own opinion.

If they care about you and you say you are tired and exhausted sometimes then they should be able to cook for you. I bet you wash all the plates too.

Just cause they are guys doesnt make them unwanted in the kitchen. I currently dont know how to cook but when push comes to shove nobody go tell me to go put something together.

I have just one sister when I was staying with my parents but I didnt enjoy that luxury. Na hunger go kill me. She tries to cook just nights and then we do the washing and the preparation sometimes.

Good luck.