MrNiceGuy79:
I am 37 years old. We got married 6 years ago and had two children. I come from a well off family so life wasn't difficult. I have always been able to get money from handouts from my family as well as some rental properties that I inherited. As a wedding gift my parents bought us a house that is now valued at about 180m Naira. To be honest, I haven't really been working very hard to chart my own financial path and I don't really know why. I have no motivation to do business, start any business or even work in the family business. I've started to believe it is because the person who is supposed to be supporting me the most, is always putting me down. Any time that I come up with a new business idea she crushes my dreams, telling me how bad that idea is. My father passed away a few years ago and everytime I tell my wife I have gone to do business with my mum, or I want to buy a piece of land with my mother and brother, she gets upset. Now here comes the abuse: when we argue and she tells me to get out of the house, I refuse and tell her its my house. She quickly replies "No it's your mothers house" "A real man works hard and struggles to make it" I have been called all types of names e.g. 'youre lazy" "you're not a good dad (mind you she's always screaming and beating on my son)" "you're not a real man", "Bleep is more of a man than you", etc. I got tired of all that so I decided to empower her, so a couple of years ago, I sold a piece of land worth 20 million Naira and gave her 10 to start a business. I spent my 10 on debts, paying bills, running the house etc. That 10 million has spawned 3 other businesses on her part while I am still stuck with no business of my own. She has never shared or offered to share any profits of those businesses with me, which is ok by me as I really don't need her money. I am still called all types of names, despite the fact that I pay all the house bills, school fees, electricity, DSTV etc. She pays for nothing. When she shops for items from the supermarket, vegetable market etc, she will give me a detailed bill of what she has spent and I HAVE TO REFUND. Refund? we are all eating the food, I don't ask for help every month, and I have to refund? She constantly reminds me that is what a man is supposed to do, pay all the bills in the house, and that I get my money for free while she has to work hard for it. But my question is, do I need this treatment? am I too nice? Please help.

bro though your wife action are bad but u r kinda lazy cos you depend on family properties, try, manage and sustain your business like your wife then she will surely respect you… i wont mind if you can accept me as one of your enployee when next you pop up anothrr business

cococandy:
Thing is the wife is not here. if she was, i'm sure by now she would have gotten the lesson of her life.

Is he supposed to keep crying that the wife won't let him do the kind of business he wants to do? On top his own money too not like she's providing the capital
Na wa. He's not ready to do anything. If he is, his wife's disapproval wont stop him since she's not the one providing the capital.


Nor do I think their problem has gotten to the stage of seperation or divorce.

I'm not blaming him for the wife's attitude but simply stating that his solution lies in his hands.

At least he came for solution abi or he came for pity party?
You know how we tell victims of abuse to take their destiny into their hands and stop whining.
Like that girl in the counseling thread?
I think same applies to him here.
And not just for his wife's respect but also for his family to respect him.

How do you think his brothers and sisters and mother see him being that he's the only one who's not doing anything with his life but relying on the family money?

Once he stands up and regains his self confidence, everything else will most likely fall in place.

cococandy:
Thing is the wife is not here. if she was, i'm sure by now she would have gotten the lesson of her life.

Is he supposed to keep crying that the wife won't let him do the kind of business he wants to do? On top his own money too not like she's providing the capital
Na wa. He's not ready to do anything. If he is, his wife's disapproval wont stop him since she's not the one providing the capital.


Nor do I think their problem has gotten to the stage of seperation or divorce.

I'm not blaming him for the wife's attitude but simply stating that his solution lies in his hands.

At least he came for solution abi or he came for pity party?
You know how we tell victims of abuse to take their destiny into their hands and stop whining.
Like that girl in the counseling thread?
I think same applies to him here.
And not just for his wife's respect but also for his family to respect him.

How do you think his brothers and sisters and mother see him being that he's the only one who's not doing anything with his life but relying on the family money?

Once he stands up and regains his self confidence, everything else will most likely fall in place.

He isn't whinning, he is being verbally abused, I would never blame an abused woman for being abused.
As I wrote earlier he needs to get his head clear but away from her nagging voice always screaming and insulting him.

Verbal abuse is the same as physical abuse because she can't slap him or beat him doesn't make this any less serious. If a woman was married and did so much for her husband yet he beats her regularly for the one he thinks she doesn't do will we be telling her to woman up.and its her fault he is hitting her?

Trouble don wear cover shoe...where are the family pushers .

Sorry dude, it's a simple case of respect out of the window. Just start a business of your own whether she approves or not and make it work. Your respect will be restored in a hundred folds and you & yours will live happily after...simple.

Wow. You are just a lazy man with no care for his life, who unfortunately married an unwise woman. That is a wrong environment to raise a child.

So, for the sake of your child/future children, DISCOVER THE MAN within and LET HIM TAKE CHARGE!

Aside the fact that this story is just so hard to believe the situation is also one that is quite difficult to see a clear resolution being that the story is coming from one side. I wish we had the perspective of your wife to reconcile with. Nevertheless your wife is somewhat ungrateful and greedy. Her sense of proportion is skewed and quite possibly you encouraged it by over playing the Mr Nice Guy bit and pampering her. If you had made that business a joint venture you'd have had some leverage but as it is you have to take a different tack. What I can see you do to remedy this is to involve an elder from her family to talk some sense into her or you both go for couples counseling.

pickabeau1:
cococandy

what does lack of ambition mean

This man is a good provider yet he lacks ambition

He said it himself. That he has not interest in doing anything.
So he lays on the couch all day?
Where's he providing from?
Family handout from mommy?


Lack of ambitions means what it means. No foresight, no plans, no future put into consideration.

If mommy dies tomorrow,that will be the end of it all seeing as he can't even sell okrika to save his life.

He had 20million to start up a business,what did he do? Gave it to his wife most likely because he had no interest in working to make profit from the money. The rest of the 10million he paid debts(why was he in debt since he's from a rich family) probably because he'd rather borrow than make profit from what he has.

He could have made it a family business and put down his feet to demand accountability from wife but he just let her get away with doing whatever she wanted with the profits.

I don't want to blame him but it is what it is.
He has opportunity to do anything he wants to do but won't because his wife doesn't approve.

Come on

This doesn't excuse his wife's behavior anyway before someone will get me wrong.

By i'd rather he does something with his life instead of blaming his wife.

Like I said before, I don't blame him for his wife's behaviour. An uncouth person is uncouth.

All I'm after is his solution not trading blames. As the person to blame is not even here to read and change her attitude.

aisha2:


He isn't whinning, he is being verbally abused, I would never blame an abused woman for being abused.
As I wrote earlier he needs to get his head clear but away from her nagging voice always screaming and insulting him.

Verbal abuse is the same as physical abuse because she can't slap him or beat him doesn't make this any less serious. If a woman was married and did so much for her husband yet he beats her regularly for the one he thinks she doesn't do will we be telling her to woman up.and its her fault he is hitting her?

Most people said it all, do things that can motivate you,look for ur strengths and recognise ur weaknesses, start your own business and try your best to gain ur respect back.

LordReed:
Aside the fact that this story is just so hard to believe the situation is also one that is quite difficult to see a clear resolution being that the story is coming from one side. I wish we had the perspective of your wife to reconcile with. Nevertheless your wife is somewhat ungrateful and greedy. Her sense of proportion is skewed and quite possibly you encouraged it by over playing the Mr Nice Guy bit and pampering her. If you had made that business a joint venture you'd have had some leverage but as it is you have to take a different tack. What I can see you do to remedy this is to involve an elder from her family to talk some sense into her or you both go for couples counseling.

Na wa oh, he probably paid a hefty bride price and gave her a society wedding as per rich family concern na, gave her a home she now uses to abuse him.
He was doing mr nice guy and pumping all his money in her business while being abused. Na wa oh

All these people writing these man is lazy and the likes., I dont understand.. It seems to me the wife easily has her way with the man.. imagine on these thread a few woman just shouted at him and the man don chill... he has a dominant wife who he likes and care about too much to the exyent that she has her way with him too much. And the fact that she always have her way she seem to be tired and she sees it as a sign of weakness. He seem not to have a problem with dat until verbal abuse becomes unbearable. He just needs to grow some balls... and change the status quo.. probably separation for a while ao he can think well and start something with his life..

cococandy:

He said it himself. That he has not interest in doing anything.
So he lays on the couch all day?
Where's he providing from?
Family handout from mommy?


Lack of ambitions means what it means. No foresight, no plans, no future put into consideration.

If mommy dies tomorrow,that will be the end of it all seeing as he can't even sell okrika to save his life.

He had 20million to start up a business,what did he do? Gave it to his wife most likely because he had no interest in working to make profit from the money. The rest of the 10million he paid debts(why was he in debt since he's from a rich family) probably because he'd rather borrow than make profit from what he has.

He could have made it a family business and put down his feet to demand accountability from wife but he just let her get away with doing whatever she wanted with the profits.

I don't want to blame him but it is what it is.
He has opportunity to do anything he wants to do but won't because his wife doesn't approve.

Come on

This doesn't excuse his wife's behavior anyway before someone will get me wrong.

By i'd rather he does something with his life instead of blaming his wife.

I agree with you on having asked for accountability

He is not sitting around

He is a facility manager..do you think that is easy work?

You may be too reading too much into his own statements about how laid beck he is

He may just be a steady man...calculating but maybe easily discouraged

If this story is real then u are a foooooool big one! U gav her ten mill yet she can't assist in the welfare of the home? Upon that still the call u names Mstchewwww and u are runing to nairaland fr help? Na wah ooo fr u ooo! Some of these AJS self! Men better wake up or u are doom cos am sure she never start wit u self. Rubbishhhhhhh!

dinachi:
O my God ! What is this? Divorce her immediately and look for a gud humble woman who will appreciate you for who you are. Women plenty nyafu nyafu that are praying day and night to get a man half as gud as you...She doesn't deserve you, period. Why why why did you give that ungrateful wife ten million? Collect your money back Asap! Meanwhile what are the things you have passion for? What ever business ideas you have should be based on your passion. Best luck!

Guy must you talk?

aisha2:


Na wa oh, he probably paid a hefty bride price and gave her a society wedding as per rich family concern na, gave her a home she now uses to abuse him.
He was doing mr nice guy and pumping all his money in her business while being abused. Na wa oh

I tire. The whole situation is just a mess. How do people allow themselves wallow in untenable situations like this?

There is a limit to how much one can blame somebody else for his/her woes in life, for how long does he want to blame the wife? OP, it's time you look inwards to solve your problems. She is being abusive, yes but is she tying your hands down? Has she got some voodoo caging your mind? Does she stop you from going out?

If these answers are NO, quit blaming her and start solving your problems. Get something doing and find you own voice in the home. And I really don't believe seperation will do you any good, it's like running away from challenges which is never a solution in life. At least, not problems you can look in the eyes and resolve. Good luck!

Kimoni:
There is a limit to how much one can blame somebody else for his/her woes in life, for how long does he want to blame the wife? OP, it's time you look inwards to solve your problems. She is being abusive, yes but is she tying your hands down? Has she got some voodoo caging your mind? Does she stop you from going out?

If these answers are NO, quit blaming her and start solving your problems. Get something doing and find you own voice in the home. And I really don't believe seperation will do you any good, it's like running away from challenges which is never a solution in life. At least, not problems you can look in the eyes and resolve. Good luck!

@bold

Very well said.

MrNiceGuy79:
I am 37 years old. We got married 6 years ago and had two children. I come from a well off family so life wasn't difficult. I have always been able to get money from handouts from my family as well as some rental properties that I inherited. As a wedding gift my parents bought us a house that is now valued at about 180m Naira. To be honest, I haven't really been working very hard to chart my own financial path and I don't really know why. I have no motivation to do business, start any business or even work in the family business. I've started to believe it is because the person who is supposed to be supporting me the most, is always putting me down. Any time that I come up with a new business idea she crushes my dreams, telling me how bad that idea is. My father passed away a few years ago and everytime I tell my wife I have gone to do business with my mum, or I want to buy a piece of land with my mother and brother, she gets upset. Now here comes the abuse: when we argue and she tells me to get out of the house, I refuse and tell her its my house. She quickly replies "No it's your mothers house" "A real man works hard and struggles to make it" I have been called all types of names e.g. 'youre lazy" "you're not a good dad (mind you she's always screaming and beating on my son)" "you're not a real man", "Bleep is more of a man than you", etc. I got tired of all that so I decided to empower her, so a couple of years ago, I sold a piece of land worth 20 million Naira and gave her 10 to start a business. I spent my 10 on debts, paying bills, running the house etc. That 10 million has spawned 3 other businesses on her part while I am still stuck with no business of my own. She has never shared or offered to share any profits of those businesses with me, which is ok by me as I really don't need her money. I am still called all types of names, despite the fact that I pay all the house bills, school fees, electricity, DSTV etc. She pays for nothing. When she shops for items from the supermarket, vegetable market etc, she will give me a detailed bill of what she has spent and I HAVE TO REFUND. Refund? we are all eating the food, I don't ask for help every month, and I have to refund? She constantly reminds me that is what a man is supposed to do, pay all the bills in the house, and that I get my money for free while she has to work hard for it. But my question is, do I need this treatment? am I too nice? Please help.

@OP, i quite sympathise with on your ordeal based on your story. i read through your story trying to really digest it properly, and one question popped up; which is, how did all these start in the first place? My Personal outlook of your person based on your story, is that you were brought up with a silver spoon by your parents. Your background didn't actually prepare you for the nitty-gritty of the hard-knocks of life. Everything seemed to be at your beck and call which might have made you a laid-back kind of guy. Even when you grew up and became a man, you were still a 'big-baby-boy' (please no offence meant). I don't hold you fully responsible for being a 'big-baby-boy', maybe your upbring and background may be responsible for that. You are now 37years, and believe me, i still sense that 'baby-boy' in you yearning for support. I personally believe that if you want change in your home, it has to start from yourself! You have to begin to believe in yourself, motivate yourself, push yourself and develope yourself. Never depend on anybody irrespective of insults heaped on you. Believe in yourself and in God. Be a man!! Be the man!!! Be a real man!!!! Begin to see insults as a motivational driving force in your eandevours. Try to focus on your goals and always see yourself achieving it. Every insults should be seen as a propeller to your goals. You could get a white collar job or go into business. You have to prove that you can be a man of your own. Please, i am not justifying your wife's actions, but i will advice not to dwell too much on her actions. When you begin to be your own man, make your money for your family and become a success, your wife will, to an extent, beging to develope a new level of respect for you. Just try and ignore her tantrums for now. Also, have it in mind that taking care of your immediate family is one of your primary responsibilities. So do not complain. Though if your wife decides to contribute to the running of the family, do not stop her. Remember, that marriage is patience, tolearance, maturity, forgiveness and sometimes little politics and diplomacy helps. So finally, i will say focus on yourself as i said earlier and carve out a niche for yourself.

Note that i did not say much or focus on your wife actions. This is because the foundation on which all these problems emanated from is very shaky.

aisha2:


Isn't that what a wife is supposed to do? Provide back up and support?
In his " overfed mummy's boy" state he provided a house for her, provided money for her businesses abeg wives and husbands spouses are supposed to motivate each other. He comes accross as sheltered, calm and peace loving while she is a trouble maker. My husband was more sheltered than I was, till we married he didn't know how water gets in a house all he knows is there is water when he needs it, me kuma grew up where sometimes I have to get water from the well or even go a.little far and fetch water when there is no water. He laughs at my obsession with gathering water in every available container
I don't mock or nag or use it to insult him, we moved to our house I made and still make arrangements to ensure we always have water.

She is a bad wife no sugar coating being soft and nice is not a crime. He just married the wrong unsupportive woman

Not every woman is nurturing...

If the Op can not be vulnerable with his wife,i wonder with who he will be? Yes agreed,he does not have ambition,but we can see the wife is very good in business-why didn't she find a way to work hand in hand with him? He is good at something,he does have knowledge in real estate
why is it difficult for her to try guide him? What is wrong for a woman doing that?

This man is not lazy,he was raised like that,trained to live with his family income-meaning being part of a family business.What he needs is a motivator and it's sad the wife can't offer him that.

Your wife has already transferred aggression to. Your son!! Can't you see that? You lacked the proper leadership to pilot your home. Your dad made it too easy for you and handed you means on a plater. Your wife ought to play that role with love and teach you how to be a better man. Probably, her own dad didn't teach her stuffs. You need to stage a sizzling comeback and reclaim your leadership position in style. First, you need to be unpredictable to your wife. Second, you need to get an office space where you go to every morning and comeback evenings. You can go into real estate in that office since you have properties and also buy properties upgrade them and resell. Fourth, you need to build a library which consists of book about management, discipline,leadership, psychology, pilosophy,public speaking,Etc. This place is gonna be your engine room cos this where you gonna design the best of you. You are not doing this for anybody but for yourself!! Watch how you change and become something else. Your wife may probably be kneeling to serve your meals as a mark of Respect. I'm rooting for you Bro. Step out and show the world what you've got. Surprise yourself and be amazed at your ability to become anything you wish.

Chubhie:
Your wife has already transferred aggression to. Your son!! Can't you see that? You lacked the proper leadership to pilot your home. Your dad made it too easy for you and handed you means on a plater. Your wife ought to play that role with love and teach you how to be a better man. Probably, her own dad didn't teach her stuffs. You need to stage a sizzling comeback and reclaim your leadership position in style. First, you need to be unpredictable to your wife. Second, you need to get an office space where you go to every morning and comeback evenings. You can go into real estate in that office since you have properties and also buy properties upgrade them and resell. Fourth, you need to build a library which consists of book about management, discipline,leadership, psychology, pilosophy,public speaking,Etc. This place is gonna be your engine room cos this where you gonna design the best of you. You are not doing this for anybody but for yourself!! Watch how you change and become something else. Your wife may probably be kneeling to serve your meals as a mark of Respect. I'm rooting for you Bro. Step out and show the world what you've got. Surprise yourself and be amazed at your ability to become anything you wish.

Many useful instructions, I hope he has the energy to make at least some of them come true.

Most of us do not know what it means to be verbally abused. Sometimes we don't know how our words can spike ones heart and cause him to be a living dead. I for one can never tolerate it. If a woman insults me, for any reason, it is either the end or the beginning of the end of 'us' because I would not be able to control my actions.

I hear that women actually learn at old age. So some of these young ladies who are blaming the op on his supposed failures, wait until it happens to you or someone very dear (not close) to you.

Most of us still do not know what it means to be motivated (especially by our partner). In fact most of us do not know what it means to be married, living in the same room and discovering ourselves.

I bet if it was just a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, this relationship would have been a 'used to'.

For me, I'll advice the op to wise up. Stop overlooking things. Cause her to be responsible for herself at least for a while. Bro, if possible be 'mad' and firm to her. Cause her to be accountable to you. She must be able to account to you the businesses she runs since in the first place, the seed fund happens to be yours. If she spends money for the house, thank her and never refund her. Share the responsibilities amongst yourselves. Is it not wickedness that you empowered your wife with more than 10m and in repaying you, she verbally assaults you? Are you guys competing? If you are, what's the price? If she says, its not your wealth, ask her if it is hers. If she can have access to it.

Most women do not know what it means to be responsible. Most women do not even care how you earn or bring money...just bring it they know.

My guts tell me that ladies like this are actually 'safe-keeping' their money in the case of an eventuality which am sure is within close range.

andromida:


You've been blaming your wife for everything from beating your son while you have no particular ideas on child raising yourself to "she made us move into" then she does not inspire you when you have no concrete plans on ground. You have abdicated responsibility to her so she is dealing with it how she knows to. You sound lost i hope you find yourself so you can give directions to yourself and your family.

u rAp ma mind

Sorry to say this as harsh as it may sound:

*You are almost 40 o, you are about to be a fool forever*

Please get something doing that does not involve sitting or chopping from your parents. What if your mum dies and leaves nothing for you. That is when you will see and feel hell. Your mates are out there getting their own thing, you are there sitting down and waiting for what your parents can provide at 37.

Bro, also reread your post and see that something is wrong somewhere. Obviously your way of doing things have not helped you, so its best you change. This is just the beginning of 2015, change your life, attitude and outlook abeg. Also, please realize that your present behavior towards work, and your attitude as a man is not a good example for those kids you have.

MrNiceGuy79:
I am 37 years old. We got married 6 years ago and had two children. I come from a well off family so life wasn't difficult. I have always been able to get money from handouts from my family as well as some rental properties that I inherited. As a wedding gift my parents bought us a house that is now valued at about 180m Naira. To be honest, I haven't really been working very hard to chart my own financial path and I don't really know why. I have no motivation to do business, start any business or even work in the family business. I've started to believe it is because the person who is supposed to be supporting me the most, is always putting me down. Any time that I come up with a new business idea she crushes my dreams, telling me how bad that idea is. My father passed away a few years ago and everytime I tell my wife I have gone to do business with my mum, or I want to buy a piece of land with my mother and brother, she gets upset. Now here comes the abuse: when we argue and she tells me to get out of the house, I refuse and tell her its my house. She quickly replies "No it's your mothers house" "A real man works hard and struggles to make it" I have been called all types of names e.g. 'youre lazy" "you're not a good dad (mind you she's always screaming and beating on my son)" "you're not a real man", "Bleep is more of a man than you", etc. I got tired of all that so I decided to empower her, so a couple of years ago, I sold a piece of land worth 20 million Naira and gave her 10 to start a business. I spent my 10 on debts, paying bills, running the house etc. That 10 million has spawned 3 other businesses on her part while I am still stuck with no business of my own. She has never shared or offered to share any profits of those businesses with me, which is ok by me as I really don't need her money. I am still called all types of names, despite the fact that I pay all the house bills, school fees, electricity, DSTV etc. She pays for nothing. When she shops for items from the supermarket, vegetable market etc, she will give me a detailed bill of what she has spent and I HAVE TO REFUND. Refund? we are all eating the food, I don't ask for help every month, and I have to refund? She constantly reminds me that is what a man is supposed to do, pay all the bills in the house, and that I get my money for free while she has to work hard for it. But my question is, do I need this treatment? am I too nice? Please help.

This story is hard to believe but lets assume its true.

@op, first you said "To be honest, I haven't really been working very hard to chart my own financial path and I don't really know why. I have no motivation to do business, start any business or even work in the family business" then almost immediately you blamed it on your wife despite admitting that you don't know why. You have the capital. You have the family's already established business to just continue and you are blaming you wife. Did your wife tell you to stop being involved in a family business you were doing before she came into the picture or you were not even involved in the business? Some men will do anything to get a one million naira capital. Ask yourself if you would have lived the type of life you lived if your Dad had this attitude to work and business. Please get more involved with the family business and go from there.

Your wife is an abusive and ungrateful wife who is also not supportive (it's up to you to decide what to do as regards that) but for how long will you use that as an excuse.

Kudos @ chubhie.

@op, all u need is in his post.
All d best.

No doubt it would have been better if his wife is supportive but it is also possible she doesnt know how or have the patience to work on the Op 'unique laziness'. Before she is condermed, it is very possible she may have supported one or two past failed attempts. With no history of having done anything in the past, it will be easy for madam to give up on his pursuits especially if they are seemingly too tall as common with lazy bones...not justifying wifey at all. Op you need to start from somewhere and please start small like taking baby steps not trying to prove anything to anyone aside you so as to be focus and so that you can easily dust yourself up if you fall. Do it independently of your wife but if along the line you see she trully wants to help dont let pride, past or talks make you reject her cos her support may be the best you need plus it sometimes take the heat from loved ones to make us strong and better, again its possible she didnt know her to manage well laziness of almost a life time. First believe and act that you can do something, others will too.

Let me also leave you with this:

It is hard to find a woman that will respect a man that is lazy or cannot provide. Her reason for making sure she collects everything from you is to make sure you play your role as husband and provider. Because she knows you can be a very lazy man if she gives you that chance, and you will feed on her, manipulate and exploit her to maintain your spoiled lifestyle. I will probably do the same, except the insults. But i bet the lady is frustrated, so she has turned to aggression because nothing moves or motivates you.

Just get off your bu*tt and do something. If you want your 10m back, tell her you want it back. With your over entitled attitude to life, i am sure that she cannot afford to fund the lifestyle you will expect her to fund based on the 10m seed money if she let you.

My piece...

cococandy:
OP Na Jazz?
Pls don't tell me you have all that money,made her rich and comfortable yet can't do the same for yourself and worse still let her treat you like dirt.
Pls this is not normal.

not normal atall. I wonder where his wife is spending all the money she makes in?

sakalisis:



bro though your wife action are bad but u r kinda lazy cos you depend on family properties, try, manage and sustain your business like your wife then she will surely respect you… i wont mind if you can accept me as one of your enployee when next you pop up anothrr business

no offense pls why are you calling your potential boss lazy?

Two things involved, its either u no get head or she don bewitch u. shekina!

like seriously! in dis 21 century.

Bros! na rich men children dey hussle pass dis days, because dem get capital & connection at their deposal..

U turn ya self to woman wrapper n u dey complain, Abeg comot for house n get busy jare.

Evina:
Wow. You are just a lazy man with no care for his life, who unfortunately married an unwise woman. That is a wrong environment to raise a child.

So, for the sake of your child/future children, DISCOVER THE MAN within and LET HIM TAKE CHARGE!

OP, take note of this response. However, I won't use the word "lazy", I'd rather use "unmotivated" and maybe "over-pampered". At 37 Please.... Do not put the blame of your "misfortunes" on anyone, I hate it when people do that. You're what you say you'll become. If become a billionaire with authority tomorrow, its cos of the choices you made, and if you run your family wealth to the ground, its still hooked on ur choices. Never ever blame anyone, including your wife for your misgivings. You married her, cos you made a choice. You just have to get up and start running your life and marriage as a man, Cos even if you start a business, you still need that man in you, to sustain it.

OP, immediately divorce her to clear your head first and foremost before you even think of doing anything! People let us understand Op. He h comes up with excellent ideas, wife shoots it down immediately but does not come up with a better one. It is very simple, the wife is an abusive unsupportive woman. And to make matters worse, she even abuses their SON! Pray tell what did the boy do to her? The woman is an excruciatingly wicked woman who should be shown the way out! Even if the husband is not self motivated, can't the wife encourage him and be there for him? Now even when the man makes plans, this same wife will still discourage him. I don't know what else to call her apart from a witch!