Dear Temilolu,

My name is Solape and I am 38 years old. Though I grew up with my single mother as she and my late father never married each other, I was well-brought up. My mother who ensured I never lacked my basic necessities guarded me jealously and protected me with all her heart. I can comfortably say she lived for me; spent all her earnings on me and would always assert that fact in almost all our conversations such that it imprinted on my soul right from my impressionable years and I carried it through my early teens to my adolescence. When I got to the university, even though I lived in the hostel most of the time, I didn’t require the need to be lectured by my mother on being morally-upright. In my teens, I had made up my mind to keep myself till my wedding night and not make the mistake my mother made which ended her up in shame and regret for so many years. As you can imagine, she got pregnant for her boy friend (my late father) while she was in the university and it was a tug of war before he eventually acknowledged me as his daughter when I was 7 years old. My mother was in great shock and traumatized for years. She never fell in love with any man again and instead concentrated on me with so much love. I attended a campus fellowship of a spirit-filled church which groomed me spiritually and after graduation continued worshipping in one of the branches in town. I was so sure I would never fall into wrong hands as I also guarded myself physically and emotionally. I was very deep in God and could hear from him.

When I was 26 years old and working in a bank, God constantly warned me to desist from paying attention to a particular guy who was all over me but for reasons I can’t quite understand, I still allowed him to visit me occasionally. By these visits, I eventually felt comfortable in his company and so it wasn’t difficult for him to get me to accept an invitation for an outing. Unfortunately, on one of these invitations to his family house which happened to be a day we were both home alone, he pounced on me and raped me. I couldn’t even struggle with him. Asides from the shock that weakened me, even with all my strength, my bones were no match with his. He raped me in such a wicked and brutal manner and as I tried to get up and clean the blood that had stained my body after lying numb on the bed for close to 2 hours, I was struck with a thunderous slap that gave me a black eye. After the slap, came blows in quick successions. Even after 12 years, a chill runs down my spine when I remember that horrible experience! A lot happened as a result of that but let’s save that.

The doctor who treated me fell in love with me. I remember spending about a week in his hospital and the comfort and love I was showered with in those 7 days still linger on in my memory. The doctor practically lived in the hospital that week and only went home briefly. Most nights when I woke up, I always saw him by my side though I was dazed from sedation. On the day I was discharged, he drove me home and by that time, he had become friends with my mum who had become so appreciative of him. Within a short while, he got me a passport and a visa to travel to the U.K. during my leave period. About 5 weeks after I returned to work, he got me a better job in another bank. God used him to wipe my tears and make me forget all my troubles to a large extent. Exactly 4 months after the brutal attack on my life, he proposed marriage to me. I inquired about his wife because I felt he should have been married and he told me he was divorced with no children. I didn’t want a divorcee but my mum practically pushed me to him and our marriage was contracted. And today, we have 2 beautiful kids.

Honestly, my marriage has been one you can call heaven on earth. I have never experienced all the trouble women talk about in marriage. I have had so much peace, comfort and every good thing a woman could want out of her marriage. But you know what? I don’t love this man. I could say, I have been fond of him out of appreciation but I don’t love him. Someone else has captured my heart in the last 2 years and I love him with all my heart. I desperately want to be with him all the time and always imagine him making love to me even when my husband is at it. These days, I get so cranky and snap at my husband just for no reason. He’s been very patient with me probably because he’s 10 years older but I think I might just work out on him some day. I know it would be wrong of me, but what do you advise I do please?

https://temiloluokeowo./2015/01/19/read-her-story-she-needs-your-advice/

See why I hate helping girls

Even if you do eventually find the courage to leave him and follow after this your new found 'love', make certain you repay him in cash all he's spent on top your head, eeya?

let her go see a counselor.

You don't love him and u married him?hehehe this is one hell of a joke

I can imagine myself dating someone I feel nothing for talk more of marrying him

iceberylin:
See why I hate helping girls

like daughters like mothers......we shall hear her daughter's story on nl in 30years to come......we shall see.






who writes letter to oneself these days?

Ungrateful woman this lady is.

I won't ask u to stay or leave but wat of ur children fate nd future.dey may not be opportune like u are.

Hoes are not loyal and will never be...


The quote above should be passed down from generation to generation,for it is eternal and a word for our sons to work with.

Eleyi kidi ghan

OP, Pls show me where it is stated dat a woman should love her husband? my problem with women is that, they want to becom the man. Its a mans responsibility to love U while ur responsibility is to submit. Submission is higher than love bc U can't submit to a man U don't love. Pray To God begging HIM to take away that distraction of a "man U love" cos that's the devil coming to steal the joy, peace and blissful marriage God has given you.

typin....

I think she should quit the rship and get to work on herself... 2 yrs lonliness will definitely make her to be an extrovert. Lol trust me, it worked for me

why you marry d guy when you know say you no love the guy na.would have saved yourselves this impending doom

my dear stick to ur husband appreciate what God has given u,i berg u. remember ur kids,forget about that guy u said u love,pleaseeee

MzNelly:
Even if you do eventually find the courage to leave him and follow after this your new found 'love', make certain you repay him in cash all he's spent on top your head, eeya?

And u think that makes up 4 all the insults, pains, wasted years and investments that man made on her to uplift her to her position now?

Ungrateful soul, i always wonder wetin usually do these girls sha