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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? (5816 Views)
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For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Tstone1(m): 2:53pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Earlier today an argument ensued between my woman and myself about how workaholic I have become in recent times. She later joked about me being serious with my job cos am working cos of her. I told her NO! And to her greatest surprised I let her know am working for the sakes of my children unborn not necessarily her. She became very angry and said she was highly disappointed by my statement. I felt this shouldn't be an issue as have only spoken my mind. Your take on this please.. 2 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 3:02pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Thats Nigerian Men for you. Most of them are working because of their children. The wives are just used for breeding purpose. After breeding, they can decide to chase you out, take the kids and bring over another. Meanwhile during the breeding exercise, your job function is to eat, cook , clean and breed more. Tufiaaaakwa. Some of them are closet gay, only to closeeye, give woman belle, then continue their run away match. Na you sabi. Imagine, very insensitive. Tufiakwa i say again 28 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Gooci(m): 3:04pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
yu are working for every1 in the family. i can bet it with you, more of wat yu spend goes to your wife nd children. I am not married yet o, but wen i do, i will think less of mysef and more of the family(wife nd children). its only wen its excess that you can gara ![]() ![]() meanwhile, my siggy shhha ![]() 1 Like |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Tstone1(m): 3:08pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Chillisauce:But that doesn't mean a wife making claims that the husband is working for her! It sounds somehow you know. Meanwhile a woman would always be a woman..i still feel the children deserves it more. |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 3:14pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Tstone1: of cos, the children deserves more. What is she again. A wife, to breed. Her job is to have kids , and clean up after you. You are right, she deserves nothing. No wonder when some men die, their extended family end up using their children as slaves, because you never invested in your wife. Her only job like i said is to breed. 22 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by xynerise: 3:15pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Huh? If I am working for my wife then who is she working for? ![]() Nna, as a matter of fact, I am working for myself, my kids, my wife( including sexually ![]() ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 3:20pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Tstone1, I implore you to refuse to be baited and victimised. First of all, you're working for yourself but, the point at which you became a workaholic is work you're doing for your future family, maybe your children but also, your wife. You were quite insensitive ![]() ![]() As @xynerise asked, who is she working for, good question. For herself. 9 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 3:22pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Chillisauce:This is 2015, say no to sensationalism. 2 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by zeb04(f): 3:23pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Hahahahaha. My dad will always say*my wife ist oh...back in the days,my mum was like the jesus" anything you want from my dad has to be accepted, sealed and stamped by momma.infact chillisauce profile pix best describe my post Anyways op why should you feel bad when you just said the truth on your mind or do you feel guilty? 3 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Chaulay1: 3:25pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Different strokes for different folks. I remember the day that I was having this discussion with my hubby, we recently just got married then, somehow sha, he implied that he was working because of me. I said no, I did not agree that he was working to make himself a better person. Till date, he still makes reference to that statement cos he felt hurt. I wish I didn't say that though. To me, I felt that was the truth but no, he was hurt in the process. People's psyche are different. Your wife might feel diminished by your statement. Apologize o. 7 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 3:27pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
zeb04: Very insensitive i tell you. Someone like this, if madam for instance doesnt get pregnant fast, she might take the back door to catch the belly. after all, his "kids" are more important. 12 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by zeb04(f): 3:29pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Chillisauce:so true 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by delishpot: 3:32pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
OP a woman telling you such does not mean at the end of the month she expects you to put your pay check into her hands. In short, why deny her the pleasure of your company if you are working for only your kIds? She is having konji, feeling cold, sitting at home waiting for you beyound your closing hour all for nothing? You have to be sensitive nau! You yourself should have even told her you are doing all this wahala for her so that she will calm down about your absence from home. She even want console herself with that statement but you had to crush it(kill joy) As a loving hubby when she complained, you should have pulled her close to you, plant a nice kiss and say baby, I am doing all this for you And me and our kids. You effed up sha. Today buy her chockolate and tell her she should know how important she is to you. And tell her you are working late for the good of her and your kids. She will smile again. Abeg dont make her uncomfortable in her home jare. 7 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by akinsadeez(m): 3:51pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
But telling her you are working because of her will not take even a tiny hair out of you.(even if you think the opposite in ur mind). If issues like this come up in my relationship, and I notice she is not happy at my statement, I can simply draw her close and say; Baby, you know you are the one who brought(or will bring) the kids into this world, so if I am working for them I am also automatically working for you or something to that effect just to placate her and make her smile. Honestly I don't think you should have allowed something like this to degenerate into an argument. I'm my own view, as the head of the family I am working for my wife and my kids. I cannot remove my wife from the equation since she is entitled or draws from whatever success or money I make 10 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Tstone1(m): 3:51pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
zeb04:Can't ecen say anything again. |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 4:05pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Who else should a guy work for apart from himself and his children (born and unborn)? - err, if he's one who cares about his community/race, you can add that to the equation. If you decide to work hard for women, you'll go bankrupt and/or end up broken cos you can never please them. Get ya own shiit. ![]() 9 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by crackhaus: 4:26pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Women! When you tell them they don't like hearing the truth, they think you're just talking - if your husband is working hard for you, at what point does your 'independent, powerful and modern black woman' chant come into play? Not saying a woman shouldn't expect to be treated to the good things, but getting angry because a husband says he doesn't work for you is just hilarious. I'm not surprised anyway, there are women who believe in: My husband's money is our money, while my money is my money - selfish entitled fvcks ![]() ![]() 14 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 4:54pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Wowzers. Assuming she's the future mother of your unborn children, how did you logically manage to separate the two? Regardless, I think it's good she knows exactly how you feel. And don't ever apologize for the truth. 1 Like |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Dheartless: 5:16pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
crackhaus: SirShymex: ![]() ![]() |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 5:18pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
crackhaus: 1. Nna, no such thing exists. 2. Womanology. 3. This is all women, not some, all. Remember that little talk we had on women and logic? Let that guide your interaction with them. 2 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Dheartless: 5:23pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Timbuktou:this guys are ![]() ![]() |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 5:32pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
@OP You were insensitive with your choice of words . Your love for your family should be encompassing . Unless if your definition of family is different from mine . 3 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by veave(f): 5:33pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Their immediate family, children, friends, small girls and people on the street. They find it difficult to give to the woman who has been swallowing their shit and praying for them to prosper. Good man for road, tiger superglue for house. Everyone sees you as a rich and generous man but your wife has not changed her set of pants in 3 years. If you know this post touches you, you better change. Its part of what will take most men to hell... Don't pretend like you are not here on nairaland reading this post. God is watching you... 16 Likes 1 Share |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 5:34pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
We work for each other. While it is our responsibility to provide for the kids we must also remember that it was two of us before kids and the aim of the marriage is not just to produce kids but to make each other happy. She may have felt slighted as if she wasnt included in your future plans but again I believe if you both work as a team the question wouldn't even arise. The truth is some women see getting married the same as having a blank cheque book, if both of you had a culture of caring for each other supporting each other then the question of who you are working for wont arise 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by pickabeau1: 5:37pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
whether he says it or not The reality is that one is working for his wife n kids Seldom does one spend more than 10% of his income on himself directly Th bulk of it goes to wife shopping, vacation, school for kids, feeding, inlaws.. At times like this January na debit sef till February 1 Like |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Seun(m): 5:39pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Tstone1:It's also a wake up call for your wife. She needs to work hard to make her own money since her husband isn't working for her but his children. She shouldn't sacrifice or limit her career for such a man. Also, please bro learn not to say every stupid thing that passes through your mind! 31 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by crackhaus: 5:40pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Timbuktou:1. That was the point, you didn't see the sarcasm? - independent, powerful, and modern black woman does not exist in marriage obviously. 2. Indeed. 3. Lmao...your funeral bro. I just wanted to create an avenue for exceptions to those that blow gaskets at any generalization. 2 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 5:42pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Tstone1: From this, all you read from her statement was this; you're my slave. All she read from your response was this "i don't give a rats ar.se about you". Y'all are just being overly sensitive. 2 Likes |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 5:43pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
crackhaus:Lol. Imma lie down to dodge stray bullets. I should be ok. |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by crackhaus: 5:46pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Timbuktou: ![]() |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by apparentlylaw(m): 5:46pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
To me U didn't actually mean ur statement ...Guess u jez didn't want her to feel fly ...She is part of your family nah ...wifawt her u wuldnt ve gotten doze kids u apparently said u re working for ...Jez apologise to her and make her head swell a lil |
Re: For Men Only: Who Actually Are You Working For? by Nobody: 5:49pm On Jan 23, 2015 |
Seun: 1. As well as a wake up call to this man. 2. If she wasn't doing that, she needs a major talking to. 3. If she was working, would she willingly give hubby 100k to anything with? 4. She's a woman. Her career will be limited by the demands of wifehood and motherhood. 5. Take your own advice, sir. 2 Likes |
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