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Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by UjSizzle(f): 8:19am On Jan 29, 2015 |
ToroJah:I don't believe anyone ever really forgets anything. Forgive, yes, but your past is as much part of your present as it will your future. But let go of the pain and the crazy boxes people place you in. If a man's family can't/won't look past your background (that had nothing to do with you btw), then you should be glad you don't get to live with them all your life. I really get what you're going through, surprised you didn't see it coming though. It's the one thing my dad has told me all my life...."Families will have a problem accepting you because your parents are divorced." But you know what? Your parents don't define you. Bad behavior isn't transferred via some weird radio frequency. If people can't see that, then screw them 1 Like |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by ToroJah: 8:24am On Jan 29, 2015 |
UjSizzle: Thanks a bunch dear, I'm grateful! |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by numericalguy(m): 8:24am On Jan 29, 2015 |
rofemiguwa: Typical example of the character of children from broken home. In as much as I always try not to judge people, this one makes it difucult not to judge. If she can refare to her father as a sperm donor, only God knows what she would call her husband. |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by ToroJah: 8:26am On Jan 29, 2015 |
Jay5000: Have resolved to forgive him, all the same thanks for your contribution, appreciate! |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by ToroJah: 8:29am On Jan 29, 2015 |
zeepatoprick: Thanks! It encouraging. |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by 100Cents: 8:34am On Jan 29, 2015 |
Sometimes you feel like taking your life . You will tell the next man your dad is dead. Those Guys did not leave you because you came from a broken home. I am talking from experience. They left for other reasons. O girl, take life easy, people from homes whose parents are still together have not finished marrying. Go through other threads in family and romance section, you will see men at 35 searching, ladies at 30 searching. Guys at 30 without job and means of livelihodd yet they want to marry next year. Your own problem is not the worst, calm down. Reconcile with your father for heaven's sake. 1 Like |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by irishCream: 8:54am On Jan 29, 2015 |
1miccza: So you tell me are you one of them? |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by Nobody: 9:09am On Jan 29, 2015 |
Redoil:hmmm.ok |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by obowunmi(m): 9:43am On Jan 29, 2015 |
CityNG: Lies. My dad and mom are still married but it is the most hateful, abusive, and dysfunctional relationship I have ever seen. Lots of violence, anger, and hatred. The only advice is to say: go and live your own life. At some point, you ought to stop blaming your parents. 1 Like |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by obowunmi(m): 9:47am On Jan 29, 2015 |
There are husbands, there are men, there are fathers, and there are sperm donors as someone said. Some men embody all qualities, others pick and choose the role they'd like to play. where does your "father" lie? |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by anukulapo: 9:51am On Jan 29, 2015 |
ToroJah:If you as sure it will solve the problem then go ahead BUT what I know is that the memory of such move will be a dark secret to you. What happens if your in-laws eventually finds out? You most likely will be labelled and treated like a plague. Your case before them might end up being worse than your dad's before you. Deal with it,forgive the man,he's not your problem. You'll find a man and a family that will accept you regardless IF you are a good person. What do I mean by "a good person"? Don't carry hatred along into your marriage. The hatred you most likely would carry along is what those families are avoiding NOT you. ToroJah:There's more problem to marriage than it being arranged. The nature of the people involved,and the level of their knowledge also matter. So you are right about accommodating and understanding each other's flaws - their nature and knowledge BUT even un-arranged weddings break. ToroJah:Love here refers to the butterfly feeling and the romantic moods. What friends have for each other is called love also -- such that is referred to as "agape". Marriages need both. When you find someone that you both share such kinds of love with,such person will be your friend (so people won't mistake "friend" literary as someone familiar to them eg a childhood friend). Stay blessed |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by rofemiguwa(f): 10:05am On Jan 29, 2015 |
God forbid I marry a man like my father! I reject even for my generation. My husband will never abandon his wiFe and his weaning baby to follow another woman and resurfarce 2 decades later as If nothing happened. U cannot run away from responsiblities and come back when all is rosy. A man that doesn't know anything about his children except their name is not fit to be called a father. And before you start judging children from broken homes , think for one second If u never had anyone to call dad all ur life, all those PTAs, outings, words of advice, discippline and all the father figure thing.if all those things were absent from your life not because its not possible but because someone decided to go have fun and forget his responsibilty. Pput ur self in their shoes before u start throwing stones. Mtchewwww. numericalguy: 1 Like |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by ogawisdom(m): 11:08am On Jan 29, 2015 |
ToroJah: First u need to accept ur background bc u can't change dt. If ur dad ve really asked for forgiveness then u need to forgive him for ur own's sake. Give ur life to christ n he will provide d man dt won't bother abt ur background. Finally d difficult part dt will give u uncommon peace n joy. Love ur parents unconditionally n help ur father where u can. Read d story of d prodigal son in d bible it might b of help although urs is a prodigal father. God bless u |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by clintwine(m): 11:44am On Jan 29, 2015 |
Hello Op, the problem might not be those running away, you need need to look inward to check if you exhibit some traits that give the vibe that you would toe the same line. There are 2 kinds of people who come out of a broken home 1) Those who say : I would never let this repeat with me, i would be there for my family and make it work at all cost 2) Those who say : You can never trust a man/woman, they would do the same, and i don't care, i don't need them, i will go at it on my own. Guys saying that i can't marry you cos my parents said that you are from a broken home, is just an excuse for them to leave the relationship, either they have seen these traits in you, or they don't see you as someone they can live with, or they were not serious at all. Whether people agree or not, we all carry baggages, but these baggages differ, No sane man steps into a relationship when he is seeing signs that it won't get to the end. The baggage you carry is a great one, cos you have not forgiven your dad, and it is rubbing off . We have a saying that " When someone is climbing a tree and they are holding someone else down, they can't go far cos a lot of energy is dispensed keeping that person down" Go for counselling and try resolving these daddy issues I know some of these things , cos i have a relation who has these issues, we can all see it, but she does not, and we try to talk to her about it. Though very beautiful, I have had my best pals come to me thinking of asking her out, i tell them "If you want a peaceful and happy life, stay away", but if you think you are very very strong, go ahead, but never come to my doors with any complains". Marriage is a different ball game to Girlfriend Marrying someone from a broken home is not a problem, Marrying someone who has a lot of baggages and is displaying them is a problem |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by Nobody: 4:51pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
koyyess: Thanks |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by Jorgen: 5:38pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
Sorry about this dear. It is terrible when we have to endure the consequences of our parents actions. God is your strength. |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by ToroJah: 7:40pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
Jorgen: thanks for the comforting words!!! |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by 1miccza: 7:45pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
irishCream: I am not a saint but I'm miles away from being a devil. A trial will convince you.... |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by irishCream: 8:20pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
1miccza: Like seriously?? What I'm I waiting for then |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by 1miccza: 8:23pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
irishCream: Let's start from our contacts send me a Pm with yours,I might be able to pick up a few tricks from you.... |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by 1miccza: 8:27pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
irishCream: Don't tell me you love footballl!!!!! |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by irishCream: 8:40pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by 1miccza: 10:31pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
irishCream: Wow *dancing shoki* a laaadddyy that loves foootttbbbaaalll!!!!! AaAaAa!!! *rolling my eyes.. What club do you support? |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by irishCream: 9:31am On Jan 30, 2015 |
1miccza: Barca |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by 1miccza: 1:21pm On Jan 30, 2015 |
irishCream: Not bad I also support Barca but not like Chelsea oo,you didn't respond to my message |
Re: Dear Family, A Depressed Soul Needs Your Advice. by Nobody: 1:31pm On Jan 30, 2015 |
ToroJah: Keep your head up, girl. |
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