I read a story here where an angry guy shot a couple at their wedding reception because the bride left him for another man and this kept me wondering if my boyfriend can actually do same...........here is my story.

I've been in a relationship with this guy for 10years nw (yes, 10years). It all started in 2005 when we met, fell in love. He was and is still my first and only love. I was enjoying the relationship until 2years ago(though we've had our share of misunderstanding, I wldnt want to go into that) when I started thinking of settling down. I indirectly asked him if he had any plan of marrying me and I was shocked by the response I got. He said he doesn't believe in marriage, that everything is about understanding. I can move in,start producing babies for him but he can never carryout any marriage rites.

I thought he wasn't serious until last year when I asked him thesame question, he gave me thesame answer. But this time, I told him that I don't Share thesame view with him and that we need to go our separate ways. Since then he has been warning me that he will kill any man I get married to, that he cannt stand seeing me with another man........


Infact, I can't write down how the past year has been. I still love him and there is no doubt that he loves me too. But the big problem is that we are so so different, our views and vision are wide apart. I knw I can just forget about him and move on with my life but he wldnt let me be. He is always there at my door step, my office, giving 20 missed calls. Sometimes, I just wish I can relocate and start a new life, but I can't leave my job,not with this high rate of unemployment.

I forgot to mention that he is not the faithful type, though he doent flaunt it to my face but I just get to know about it one way or the other.
I really need advice on what to do,because even though I still have a soft spot for him, I don't want to continue with the relationship.

*following*

U r definitely d lord of the rings

Cutehector4u:
U r definitely d lord of the rings

Lol....I don't have a ring on my middle finger, he never proposed or said anything close to that.

Op, No offense but God will punish that BF of yours.
I will add 'in Jesus Name' and round it off with a perfect 'AMEN'

Op I really don't know what u are doing with a guy for 10 years o. That is sheer madness.
Let me date a guy for 3 years and he does not marry me first, I will show him my waffi madness cos seriously, I don't knw why I shld be with someone for that long and u will come and start yarning rubbish.

Leave the guy jor, he is making noise.
As a precaution sha, better start telling ur parents and everyone who cares to listen the threat he has made o.

faceless04:


Lol....I don't have a ring on my middle finger, he never proposed or said anything close to that.

and u were wit him for over ten years.. Ur case is bein debated in d supreme court.

BaebieHot:
Op, No offense but God will punish that BF of yours.
I will add 'in Jesus Name' and round it off with a perfect 'AMEN'

Op I really don't know what u are doing with a guy for 10 years o. That is sheer madness.
Let me date a guy for 3 years and he does not marry me first, I will show him my waffi madness cos seriously, I don't knw why I shld be with someone for that long and u will come and start yarning rubbish.

Leave the guy jor, he is making noise.
As a precaution sha, better start telling ur parents and everyone who cares to listen the threat he has made o.

Our heart doesn't ask who we want to fall inlove with. Love is not something we can control else I wld have left him years back. I'm ready to leave him now but my body is willing but my heart Is weak. I know I can do without him but I can't help it when he comes around begging. I really need a relocation where I will never set my eyes on him again but that is totally out of the question.

are u sure his JOHN THOMAS is active?

faceless04:


Our heart doesn't ask who we want to fall inlove with. Love is not something we can control else I wld have left him years back. I'm ready to leave him now but my body is willing but my heart I'd weak. I know I can do without him but I can't help it when he comes around begging. I really need a relocation where I will never set my eyes on him again but that is totally out of the question.

Please Op, will ur hrt to be stronger than ur body o. This is a critical matter.
I understand your love for him but sometimes u have to let your head do the reasoning.

Like my dad use to say 'love is not enough to get married to a man'. I hope u get the drift of that statement.

MrKontrovErsy:
are u sure his JOHN THOMAS is active?

Super active

BaebieHot:


Please Op, will ur hrt to be stronger than ur body o. This is a critical matter.
I understand your love for him but sometimes u have to let your head do the reasoning.

Like my dad use to say 'love is not enough to get married to a man'. I hope u get the drift of that statement.

Thanks dear. I'm starting to tell myself that too

OP, does he beat you?

ileobatojo:
OP, does he beat you?

No

faceless04:


No

Cool, does he abuse you in other ways? Verbally or emotionally?

Also is he mentally stable?

Another one

ileobatojo:


Cool, does he abuse you in other ways? Verbally or emotionally?

Also is he mentally stable?

He is not abusive in any way. Infact he has been very nice to me, listens to me, he has always been there for me, gives me whatever I want. He Is 100% mentally stable. He is a medical doctor.

Ile is on this thread.
I trust her to advice the op rightly.
10years keh , my sisters go just dey fall my hand

faceless04:



He is not abusive in any way. Infact he has been very nice to me, listens to me, he has always been there for me, gives me whatever I want. He Is 100% mentally stable. He is a medical doctor.

Lovely.

So, he's a well respected, professional member of society; he's the perfect gentleman who's always there for you and cares for you; he's not abusive in any way whatsoever; he loves you and he is completely mentally stable. Yet you're terrified that he will kill any man you leave him for to the point that you're even thinking of relocating, despite the fact that he's the one who doesn't want to marry you.

The dots are not connecting.

The last time an ex told me to wait, he sayed he was not ready to marry or was not the marrying type. when I broke off after 2 year's I discovered he had a wife and kid in the village.

Op run for your life, I doubt he loves you maybe he is married or eyeing someone else.

.

Exactly.

Any man with the if-I-can't-have-you-no-one-else-can mentality is usually very dangerous.

Maybe subconsciously, op is aware of a savage part of him which will awaken should he think he's the loser in any situation concerning both of them

ileobatojo:


Lovely.

So, he's a well respected, professional member of society; he's the perfect gentleman who's always there for you and cares for you; he's not abusive in any way whatsoever; he loves you and he is completely mentally stable. Yet you're terrified that he will kill any man you leave him for to the point that you're even thinking of relocating, despite the fact that he's the one who doesn't want to marry you.

The dots are not connecting.

faceless04:
Infact, I can't write down how the past year has been. I still love him and there is no doubt that he loves me too. But the big problem is that we are so so different, our views and vision are wide apart. I knw I can just forget about him and move on with my life but he wldnt let me be. He is always there at my door step, my office, giving 20 missed calls. Sometimes, I just wish I can relocate and start a new life, but I can't leave my job,not with this high rate of unemployment.

I forgot to mention that he is not the faithful type, though he doent flaunt it to my face but I just get to know about it one way or the other.
I really need advice on what to do,because even though I still have a soft spot for him, I don't want to continue with the relationship.

OP ,
Anyway, since he is a medical doctor, u will need to REACTIVATE him...
They rarely allow issues of Life bother them...
Bet me when eventually marries U, u will enjoy him more....
He is less likely to meddle issues with u...

10 years kwa

Op give him an ultimatum that if he doesn't want to marry you , you'll leave him , if he truly loves you as you say he keep his marriage view aside and do the needful.



#SAYNOTOTIMEWASTERS

Grabs kunu and buns

Nobody would do anything to you

Do you know his family? Have you informed them that he wants to kill your new husband?

faceless04:
Infact, I can't write down how the past year has been. I still love him and there is no doubt that he loves me too. But the big problem is that we are so so different, our views and vision are wide apart. I knw I can just forget about him and move on with my life but he wldnt let me be. He is always there at my door step, my office, giving 20 missed calls. Sometimes, I just wish I can relocate and start a new life, but I can't leave my job,not with this high rate of unemployment.

I forgot to mention that he is not the faithful type, though he doent flaunt it to my face but I just get to know about it one way or the other.
I really need advice on what to do,because even though I still have a soft spot for him, I don't want to continue with the relationship.

You are not and probably not ever his main girl friend. You are the side chick and you have been available for ten years. I can't belive you are still talking about love. He is never going to marry you because there's no need to marry you. Even after he is married you will still be here talking about I love him and I just delivered triplets. I don't understand women like you who just want to gloss over his doggish ways and then complain later. Please stay there and keep supplying him with a steady supply of what you are supplying him with. I'm not worried about him snapping at all. It is you that will likely snap and do crazy things when you find out he is getting married. Respect yourself and if you want to get married, drop the zero and give a hero a chance

op at what age did you guys started?

No now, why are you painting this guy as good? Kept you in a relationship for 1/10 of a century and you're saying he's a doctor, he listens, he cares. So what if he's an astronaut? How can someone who loves you not find you worthy of marriage? He even cheats and you're willing yo stay?

Move on already and get another guy. If he threatens you just involve the police. Na dat kain thing dem dey like.

I don't know why my sisters act like the need a soup ladle for whip before they can think.

Poster, I really can't help but wonder what you both did for 10yrs.. "bump pelvics" alone? How your partner feels about marriage is something most people learn In the first/second.. third year at most of dating that person. You just kept going along with it didn't you? You should have talked about things like this even learn how he feels about having kids so you don't get the surprise of your life later*sigh* anyhoo, since you realized you both are on two different sides of the relationship coin and you called it quits and he is threatening to go Jack the ripper on anyone else you meet who gets serious with you, my advice for you is, tell people about it, if possible file a complaint at a local police station, avoid him like a plague, just cos he's a doctor don't mean he's stable, he could just find real smart ways to be on top of you. Take a self defense class if you must, but protect yourself and pray he finds someone else. Next time love, go on dates, talk about stuff, not just bedroom bounce alone.

P.S 10 years is not Okay to be a girl(without-a- future-with-him)friend.

kayciano:

OP ,
Anyway, since he is a medical doctor, u will need to REACTIVATE him...
They rarely allow issues of Life bother them...
Bet me when eventually marries U, u will enjoy him more....
He is less likely to meddle issues with u...

Exactly, like u rightly mentioned, he doesn't allow issues of life bother him. He just wants to live each day as it comes without headache. He sees marriage as a union which tranforms women into something else. Anyways, even if he propose today, my answer will be NO. Because marriage is suppose to come from within and not both parties forced into it.

elantraceey:
10 years kwa

Op give him an ultimatum that if he doesn't want to marry you , you'll leave him , if he truly loves you as you say he keep his marriage view aside and do the needful.



#SAYNOTOTIMEWASTERS

I'v already done that. I told him late last year that if by 2015 nothing happens, we'll have to call it quit. Its been 3weeks nw, I don't pick his calls, I'v refused to see him. All I need is the strenght to keep up with it.