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Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses - Family (14) - Nairaland

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How Do You Deal With Spouses That Have Different Opinion About Family And Life? / Married Men And Women: Is It A Must You Take Dinner With Your Spouses? / Why We Cheat On Our Spouses – Abuja Residents (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 7:57pm On Feb 03, 2015
manny4life:


Exactly!

Now to buttress my point, did the man and woman NOT have an agreed upon arrangement what her role will be when she arrives the U.S.? If they agreed, then why not stick to the plan? The man may not cater to ALL of her family's needs, but he will try. The issue is not the woman working or trying to make money, the issue is the greed of the woman. Why will a woman who was brought to the U.S. want to make money than her husband? Unless, you're some type of entrepreneur with your own business, when you work extra hours, you make more. There are married women with kids who leave their work at 3 or 4pm. Some work part time, some have home business, just enough to sustain their own needs but placing the home as priority. The moment women realize that their HOME is NO 1., then problems won't exist in the home.


Again, tell the man to:
Take care of ALL the responsibilities of the woman back home - Her bros, sis, parents and cousins and all that.
Tell the man not to come home and take out his frustrations on the woman
Tell the woman to allow the woman to know the account information and she is free to go into the account to take out money without asking the man.
Tell the man to be loving, despite the fact that the woman no work.

AND YOU WILL SEE A WOMAN THAT WILL NOT CHANGE THE AGREEMENT . . .Tell me if you have never lied during interview to get a job? besides, the woman did NOT lie, but she made decisions based on facts that were available to her, she has seen so many Nollywood movies where someone travels and within a year, she is rich and when she lands in obodo oyinbo, she is face with reality and things changed, it is only fair for the "husband" to accommodate those changes and with her for better

2 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Eluwilussit(m): 7:57pm On Feb 03, 2015
andromida:


How and why will a woman go from daddy and sir to useless man? can it be just because her eyes are opened or are there other things going on that you cannot know. Why must it be the woman's fault? Accepted in some instances it will be mostly the woman's fault but it cannot be in all instances.

You speak of vow did the man not promise to love his wife? yet he kills the woman he promised to love for his pride sake he prefers his children to be orphans what level of selfishness is this? even the children are nothing to him his pride means every thing this is the kind of man that cannot command respect.

I don't think this kind of man is concerned about the custody of his kids,all he is concerned about is himself. If he was concerned about his kids he would not kill their mom and truly destroy everything.




Do you think the men don't think about all these points you raised? It is difficult to be a black man out there. Men risk everything to get papers and make dough, after which they go home and look for wives. The problem is that some of these men marry the women for the wrong reasons. Mostly to come over and work in the medical field. They get taken by surprise when their wives start making cash and of course demanding for their rights.

That shouldn't lead to murder but in many cases, it does. Especially when the women start looking outside. It ain't an easy position to be but for the sake of the family, divorce is the best option. Nobody deserves to die, no matter her crime. Even infidelity isn't enough ground to shed blood.

Women should learn to marry for the right reasons. People shouldn't marry because of what they stand to get. It should be more about what you stand to contribute to the union. Love and companionship should be the only reasons for marriage.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by cococandy(f): 7:57pm On Feb 03, 2015
CityNG:
This is a rehash of an old thread.

you mean a rehash of 50 old threads? cheesy

Lol. A typical day on NL. Thread recycling

5 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 8:00pm On Feb 03, 2015
coogar:


if the above is the case, the men won't go out guns-blazing. you cannot tell me every man going through divorce shot their wives. i know of incidents where the wives walked out quietly. she even left the house the court awarded her to the husband....

in many of the cases, the woman has threatened divorce, coupled with white lies that the husband has been abusive to her and the kids so as to win custody or slam a restraining order against him to see his own kids.

it gets messier when the hubby realises the money he sends for the kids upkeep are converted into the wife's personal use which she then squanders on her new boyfriend. if you hear some of the stories in that yeye america-----you would understand why some men shoot to kill.



With the kinda culture we have back home, the woman already know that the man will go back to her mama and papa and tell them all sort of stuff, and so the woman is only playing the same game, cos the man feel like he has lost out, losing the woman and the house to another dude . . . dont get me wrong, it is NOT easy, but part of being a man is being able to mitigate risk and handle tough situation.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fawklicant: 8:00pm On Feb 03, 2015
Timbuktou:
Actually, it would seem a better deal considering the wife gets to have anything she wants, the house and children inclusive. It really isn't a shock to see a man deprive both himself and the ex of all that rather than have only himself left in the cold. There's really not much difference between a man in jail and a free one who's alienated from kids he has to work for or go to jail, not like he sees them when he wants.

At least, this biitch is dead and he's in jail. Hahahahah. He probably knew he wouldn't be able to pay alimony and upkeep for his kids, so why not just embrace the inevitable with equanimity?

This was why Hulk Hogan said a few years ago that he didn't blame O.J Simpson for murdering his wife. Hogan's wife divorced him and took all...mansion, cars, e.t.c. while Hogan had to rent a condo somewhere in the neighbourhood. One day as he was jogging down the street, he saw his wife's new boyfriend who was in his twenties cruising around in his Mercedes which Hogan bought with his hard earned money. Damn!! That awkward moment when a murder plot hatches in your mind.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by tpiah11: 8:00pm On Feb 03, 2015
in many of the cases, the woman has threatened divorce, coupled with white lies that the husband has been abusive to her and the kids so as to win custody or slam a restraining order against him to see his own kids.

it gets messier when the hubby realises the money he sends for the kids upkeep are converted into the wife's personal use which she then squanders on her new boyfriend.

the system is not as messed up as you try to portray.

as far as i know, divorce settlements are based on income, if a man cant afford the court ordered payment, he can file for a reduced fee, with evidence. And if you dont want to pay at all, well there are people who do that, ask them for advice. As per the ex-wife dating, is she supposed to remain single?

In cases where the man is indeed being bled dry, then he should look for legal ways to reduce the amount he's paying.

But the fact remains, if the man is rich, then his payments will be high,unless the judge decides otherwise. What his ex-wife does with the money is her own business, nothing anyone can do about that. But if the money was made in your current place of residence, then the laws of that place of residence also apply, inasmuch as you are not in nigeria.

yes, some women do lie in order to nail the man, so find ways of protecting yourself if your wife is the type of person who does that. Possibly she has done it before to other people and you both laughed over it and enjoyed the spectacle, but when you became the victim, its now a bad affair.

while the wife is studying nursing, or after she has studied nursing, is there any cogent reason why the man could not study law or a legal related course just in case of the future?


folks need Jesus sha, its very unfortunate how things are.

1 Like

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 8:01pm On Feb 03, 2015
neoapocalypse:


Going by you my dad should be dead and buried by now with what I went through with him , very few can withstand what he did to me , and here I am today , loving , living and obviously not in prison. This forum might be faceless but a lot of us have been through equally and maybe more traumatizing experiences in life but we chose not to be controlled by our rage. Yes , I have worn those shoes and it has made me stronger not madder

Exactly. Maybe all of us here should start shooting people anyhow. Anyone that makes us angry, we shoot them. SMH.

3 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by raumdeuter: 8:01pm On Feb 03, 2015
cococandy:
which is why nobody asks anyone(husband or wife) to pay back the money spent on the other or saved by the actions of the other during the marriage. I'm glad you're getting my point.

The only thing a spouse can pay to his/her partner is alimony for opportunity cost and for him or her to be able to get back on their feet financially for a a designated amount of time.

And this goes both ways. A wife can pay alimony same as a husband can. Depends on who took on the task of staying home to care for the family.

It was a well thought out law

WHy are you backtracking now when the expenses are laid out?

Both sides took hits for the other while they were in the wedding. There would be times the husband has had to do inconvenient stuff just to make the marriage work.

WHy should anyone be paying the other anything? Should he list the number of times he mowed the lawns, changed car tyres, changed electrical fittings, did heavy lifting in the house. The way some women talk you think they are the only one doing stuffs in the house

Everytime couples fight you hear, I gave my body, I gave my career, I gave this I gave that, I did this for you I did that, Let everyone start listing and see who has done more

I would support a system where no one stays at home and the kids go to a paid baby sitter so there wont be claims of I could have been Alakija or Bill Gates if not for this marriage

Take what you brought in plus what you contributed while in the marriage. I think this is fair enough

3 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by manny4life(m): 8:01pm On Feb 03, 2015
Fhemmmy:


Again, tell the man to:
Take care of ALL the responsibilities of the woman back home - Her bros, sis, parents and cousins and all that.
Tell the man not to come home and take out his frustrations on the woman
Tell the woman to allow the woman to know the account information and she is free to go into the account to take out money without asking the man.
Tell the man to be loving, despite the fact that the woman no work.

AND YOU WILL SEE A WOMAN THAT WILL NOT CHANGE THE AGREEMENT . . .Tell me if you have never lied during interview to get a job? besides, the woman did NOT lie, but she made decisions based on facts that were available to her, she has seen so many Nollywood movies where someone travels and within a year, she is rich and when she lands in obodo oyinbo, she is face with reality and things changed, it is only fair for the "husband" to accommodate those changes and with her for better

Haha, if the agreement contains all of this (which it does not), then so be it. However, if it does not, then the woman should stick with the contract. Personally, I will not take care of a woman's brother, sister, aunt, cousins, but her parents, and if the woman is not satisfied with this contract, then you can make your own money but OUR house is priority NO 1. Shikena... If the woman cannot handle this from the very first day the agreement was made, let me know and I will walk away.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by coogar: 8:02pm On Feb 03, 2015
Fhemmmy:

With the kinda culture we have back home, the woman already know that the man will go back to her mama and papa and tell them all sort of stuff, and so the woman is only playing the same game, cos the man feel like he has lost out, losing the woman and the house to another dude . . . dont get me wrong, it is NOT easy, but part of being a man is being able to mitigate risk and handle tough situation.

well, not everyone can handle tough situation. yes, many would dust their shoulders and start all over again without sweating - but don't pretend there aren't some men that would slug it out till death do us part.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by soulglo: 8:02pm On Feb 03, 2015
raumdeuter:


My chairman,

How do you think a woman would act if all she worked for was taken, Her child was taken from her, And she has to pay the man who took the child from her for the next 17yrs

I know a man who went through a similar thing, His life savings, His highbrow neighbohood house, his range rover his daughter was taken away and the wife brought her new lover into his house.

WHen he goes for his once a month visit, she wont even allow him into their gated community rather he would wait at the gate for up to 2hrs before she rides with her new boyfriend in the husbands range to drop the daughter. The man contemplated ending it all and going to jail until his mom prevailed on hm and told him to leave town for them

You know this is all lies right. If he had a right to get into the gated community and she refused him entry then he could even use that as leverage to get custody of that child. Breaking the terms of visitation would hold her in contempt of court. Furthermore no court would give the woman everything and leave the man homeless. It's this sort of posts that mislead people to think that a man always gets the short end of the stick. What does her boyfriend have to do with anything by the way. The marriage is over. Is she not allowed to have a relationship? People pick up their kids at designated locations all the time. The law will not change because of your friend. The only thing I would advice him to do is to document all those "hours" he has to wait. If it is found to be true she could get a warning from the court. There's a reason he probably does not have access to the house. Someone who contemplates killing another is unstable. I would bring a male friend too if I knew the person I'm going to meet has violent tendencies.

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Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by adbokus(m): 8:03pm On Feb 03, 2015
chigoizie7:
this is were we think that divorcing a woman in Europe is that easy, a man who brought a lady from Nigeria to London as a wife turned out to be hunted becaus the lady presumed she has better rights than he is, that's not good,(European Govt. supports women more than men by law. so why wont they misbehave? a Nigerian man wont tolerate that, well,when the couple visited Nigeria, the husband confiscated all her document,left her with no money, quarrel ensured and she threatened to sue him, the young man proudly said, sweetheart , "certainly not in Anambra". that's how she started begging that she will change, but the guy didn't hear any of it, he travelled without her. now the lady is back home alone with the mother in-law (now very humble and respectful) my question is, why wouldn't they respect the man while outside naija?
dat's rite...
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by tpiah11: 8:04pm On Feb 03, 2015
Eluwilussit:



Do you think the men don't think about all these points you raised? It is difficult to be a black man out there. Men risk everything to get papers and make dough, after which they go home and look for wives.

they should marry in their places of residence, its not mandatory they must go home to get wives.

2 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 8:05pm On Feb 03, 2015
raumdeuter:


My chairman,

How do you think a woman would act if all she worked for was taken, Her child was taken from her, And she has to pay the man who took the child from her for the next 17yrs

I know a man who went through a similar thing, His life savings, His highbrow neighbohood house, his range rover his daughter was taken away and the wife brought her new lover into his house.

WHen he goes for his once a month visit, she wont even allow him into their gated community rather he would wait at the gate for up to 2hrs before she rides with her new boyfriend in the husbands range to drop the daughter. The man contemplated ending it all and going to jail until his mom prevailed on hm and told him to leave town for them

[b]1. The number of years you will have to pay child support depends on how old that child is . . . Till he or she is an adult except in special cases
2. Whatever is taken away from the man depends on what the man flex with the woman while they were together.
3. You dont expect the woman to live on the street while the man occupies the house
4. Tell such man to use the law to his advantage
The kids they have together wont lie against their father, if the father was NEVER abusive, i have seen kids that decided to go to with the father in the case of divorce, you know why? cos the man is a real father, one that was there and not just a money machine for the household.

Tell me how many Nigerian men will be able to take care of the child after divorce and they are awarded custody of the kids, they will be lost, cos they dont see it as being KOOL.

At the end of the day, all we saying is, a man needs to be a man not only by saying so, but with his action, he needs to open up and see his wife as her friend and not competitor . . . . The fear of losing a marriage or a home makes many remain in rental apartment.....
Most of our men has no idea what law they are under, they just see themselves in yankee and work and work, but never for once educate themselves on what the law has got to offer them.[/b]

3 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Kedam(m): 8:06pm On Feb 03, 2015
freecocoa:
How? Like people aren't born with temper issues?
human's nature are different. We live in a world were an honest and innocent person can be frustrated whereby gradually changing his behavior to being dangerous. Sometimes what changes men is what they pass through in the hands of their wives.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by manny4life(m): 8:06pm On Feb 03, 2015
I believe we have been through this before, personally I WILL NOT share my assets with ANY woman. If my wife decides to divorce me as a result of her doing, we will sure have a messy divorce that will yield her pain and bitterness and at the end of it, probably nothing.. But defintiely not murder.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 8:07pm On Feb 03, 2015
manny4life:


Haha, if the agreement contains all of this (which it does not), then so be it. However, if it does not, then the woman should stick with the contract. Personally, I will not take care of a woman's brother, sister, aunt, cousins, but her parents, and if the woman is not satisfied with this contract, then you can make your own money but OUR house is priority NO 1. Shikena... If the woman cannot handle this from the very first day the agreement was made, let me know and I will walk away.

I am glad that you have said it like you want it, then, dont go and bring one woman from Nigeria (one that you know the family depends on her) and expect her not to work . . . . if you wannna do such, amke sure she gets allowance that is big enough to handle her own business.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by humilitypays(m): 8:07pm On Feb 03, 2015
But let's be honest for once and tell our Naija sisters the bitter truth- our naija sisters aren't so cool to be honest! Now, ask me why and how?

95% or more of Nigerian guys who migrated to abroad (USA, UK, Canada, Germany, Spain, France, etc) usually come back home to pick up ladies with nothing....most of these Nigerian men spend their hard-earned money to bring these Nigerian ladies abroad, train these ladies in school abroad...and give them honour back home...but once these women start making money abroad, they tear eye and turn against these men that laboured to bring them from Nigeria (most times from poor family background and sufferings); God is watching o.


Now, we also have plenty single Nigerian ladies abroad, but these Nigerian ladies abroad will never come back home to marry single Nigerian guys in Nigeria and help take these guys abroad...these single Nigerian ladies abroad will never agree to marry Nigerian guys living abroad without papers, instead they date and marry only rich Nigerians living abroad and those from reputable family background.

But our guys abroad do come home to marry our ladies and help them become permanent residents and citizens...but our ladies abroad will never come home to marry our guys back home to help them become citizen, instead they keep running around searching for Nigerian guys from rich family background or secured well-paying job to marry.

Pls why is Nigerian ladies this heartless

Go to London, a Nigerian guy who isn't from a rich family back home finds it almost impossible to get a Nigerian girl to date talkless of to marry...same in United States, Canada, etc.

Nigerian ladies, pls change for good...mother nature isn't happy...all these quest for money and material wealth won't take us anywhere...let's start thinking twice for the good of our nation!

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Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 8:08pm On Feb 03, 2015
Fawklicant:


This was why Hulk Hogan said a few years ago that he didn't blame O.J Simpson for murdering his wife. Hogan's wife divorced him and took all...mansion, cars, e.t.c. while Hogan had to rent a condo somewhere in the neighbourhood. One day as he was jogging down the street, he saw his wife's new boyfriend who was in his twenties cruising around in his Mercedes which Hogan bought with his hard earned money. Damn!! That awkward moment when a murder plot hatches in your mind.
my man, I honestly cannot fathom how you guys do it over there. I'm good in this bloody jungle.

6 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 8:09pm On Feb 03, 2015
coogar:


well, not everyone can handle tough situation. yes, many would dust their shoulders and start all over again without sweating - but don't pretend there aren't some men that would slug it out till death do us part.

Again, part of being a man is to handle tough situation and those that wanna slug it out till death do them path, what would they gain by killing their wife, mother of their own kids . . . . . Now the wife is dead and they are in jail, who will take care of their kids, such man is dumb and foolish, let her go and start your life with the 50% that is left.

2 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 8:11pm On Feb 03, 2015
manny4life:
I believe we have been through this before, personally I WILL NOT share my assets with ANY woman. If my wife decides to divorce me as a result of her doing, we will sure have a messy divorce that will yield her pain and bitterness and at the end of it, probably nothing.. But defintiely not murder.

Ha ha ha ha . . . That is not for you to decide, the best thing for you to do with such mindset, is to go and marry one lady and leave her in the village back home, cos the law decides all you are saying, not you . . before you and i was the law and after us will still be the law.

1 Like

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by manny4life(m): 8:11pm On Feb 03, 2015
Fhemmmy:


I am glad that you have said it like you want it, then, dont go and bring one woman from Nigeria (one that you know the family depends on her) and expect her not to work . . . . if you wannna do such, amke sure she gets allowance that is big enough to handle her own business.

Marriage on false pretense isn't advisable, but all I am saying is just because she crossed obodo oyibo doesn't give her leeway to do as she pleases. If the lady knows she has all these responsibilities, then she should reject the marriage plans and seek on how to make it herself. Riding on false pretense is only as dangerous as the day the man finds out.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by coogar: 8:11pm On Feb 03, 2015
tpiah11:

the system is not as messed up as you try to portray.

it is more than messed up than i portray. in most cases, the men don't even have the money to fight for their rights in court whilst women always get legal aid of some sort to afford the best legal defense.


as far as i know, divorce settlements are based on income, if a man cant afford the court ordered payment, he can file for a reduced fee, with evidence. And if you dont want to pay at all, well there are people who do that, ask them for advice. As per the ex-wife dating, is she supposed to remain single?

how can you not pay?
there's an automatic arrest warrant for deadbeat dads. after the threshold of $2,500 child support is crossed, he cannot even apply for an american passport even if he was born by obama himself.


In cases where the man is indeed being bled dry, then he should look for legal ways to reduce the amount he's paying.

there are no legal ways - he doesn't get any support to even fight the case in court. the system is horribly biased against men.


But the fact remains, if the man is rich, then his payments will be high,unless the judge decides otherwise. What his ex-wife does with the money is her own business, nothing anyone can do bout that. But if the money was made in your current place of residence, then the laws of that place of residence also apply, inasmuch as you are not in nigeria.

it's called child support, not wife support. every penny of the money i send should go towards the child. here lies the motivation why women go this route in the first place. the family courts don't even give them the responsibility of providing the receipts of what they spend on the kids.


yes, some women do lie in order to nail the man, so find ways of protecting yourself if your wife is the type of person who does that. Possibly she has done it before to other people and you both laughed over it and enjoyed the spectacle, but when you became the victim, its now a bad affair.

the only protection is not to marry at all....


while the wife is studying nursing, or after she has studied nursing, is there any cogent reason why the man could not study law or a legal related course just in case of the future?

you mean there aren't lawyers that have been shafted by ex-wives in america. wetin concern family law courts with a man's profession? it's her word against her hubby and she wins more often than not.


folks need Jesus sha, its very unfortunate how things are.

now you are talking....
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by tpiah11: 8:12pm On Feb 03, 2015
I know a man who went through a similar thing, His life savings, His highbrow neighbohood house, his range rover his daughter was taken away and the wife brought her new lover into his house.

WHen he goes for his once a month visit, she wont even allow him into their gated community rather he would wait at the gate for up to 2hrs before she rides with her new boyfriend in the husbands range to drop the daughter. The man contemplated ending it all and going to jail until his mom prevailed on hm and told him to leave town for them

is it highbrow neighborhood house overseas where everything is on credit? Meaning he's paying a huge loan which btw could also place him in serious trouble should the economy go bust? Does housing crisis ring a bell?

as per range rover, does the same not apply, or did he pay cash for it as if he's in nigeria? If he does not have money to pay his range rover bill, wont it be returned to the dealer? So what exactly is the so called "gain" the ex-wife is having here?

as per him waiting 2 hours by the gate hoping his ex-wife will open it (the first half hour to one hour didnt give him a clue), i can only smh. I just saw a post by a nler where he was saying he does not know what his girlfriend saw in him that made her date him, and how he's so glad she did. Can you even expect such a mindset to have sense.

sorry , but that's how i see these things, maybe my views can change later.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 8:13pm On Feb 03, 2015
humilitypays:
But let's be honest for once and tell our Naija sisters the bitter truth- our naija sisters aren't so cool to be honest! Now, ask me why and how?

95% or more of Nigerian guys who migrated to abroad (USA, UK, Canada, Germany, Spain, France, etc) usually come back home to pick up ladies with nothing....most of these Nigerian men spend their hard-earned money to bring these Nigerian ladies abroad, train these ladies in school abroad...and give them honour back home...but once these women start making money abroad, they tear eye and turn against these men that laboured to bring them from Nigeria (most times from poor family background and sufferings); God is watching o.


Now, we also have plenty single Nigerian ladies abroad, but these Nigerian ladies abroad will never come back home to marry single Nigerian guys in Nigeria and help take these guys abroad...these single Nigerian ladies abroad will never agree to marry Nigerian guys living abroad without papers, instead they date and marry only rich Nigerians living abroad and those from reputable family background.

But our guys abroad do come home to marry our ladies and help them become permanent residents and citizens...but our ladies abroad will never come home to marry our guys back home to help them become citizen, instead they keep running around searching for Nigerian guys from rich family background or secured well-paying job to marry.

Pls why is Nigerian ladies this heartless

Go to London, a Nigerian guy who isn't from a rich family back home finds it almost impossible to get a Nigerian girl to date talkless of to marry...same in United States, Canada, etc.

Nigerian ladies, pls change for good...mother nature isn't happy...all these quest for money and material wealth won't take us anywhere...let's start thinking twice for the good of our nation!

It is all about orientation . . .
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by manny4life(m): 8:13pm On Feb 03, 2015
Fhemmmy:


Ha ha ha ha . . . That is not for you to decide, the best thing for you to do with such mindset, is to go and marry one lady and leave her in the village back home, cos the law decides all you are saying, not you . . before you and i was the law and after us will still be the law.

Believe me, there are divorces that have lasted years and years, in fact, the divorce started when they had small kids and lasted through when the kids become teens. Divorce is a painful experience and costs more than marriage itself, so the best way out of it is for the woman to WALK AWAY. As for asset sharing, that is the reason why we have experts in the field to do all that... No woman will share my assets.
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by AreaFada2: 8:14pm On Feb 03, 2015
Fhemmmy:


I smile in swahili for that comment . . . the woman commits adultery will make the man feel like he is dead? that is for a man that got it twisted . . . . I am still laffing so hard.
.

The problem is we look down on our tradition. Luckily enough it's all there for anyone curious enough to know.

It doesn't make him feel dead, it KILLS him. There is a case going on right now. A young man suddenly got seriously ill on returning from visiting his wife in 9ja.

Even the best medical docs in Europe can find no reason for his illness. Meanwhile he's in hospital for months now. I have gone to see him and examined him too. All parameters seem ok. But he can't eat or get up from bed.

The wife, a Christian never believed when her in-laws warned her about her suspicious ways.
She thought she could mess around anyhow, under guise of born again.

Let me tell you how they say it works. It's not magun style.

A woman commits adultery. The man is safe if she doesn't cook for the man or sleep with him. That is, no wifely role towards him. If she does, problem.

Look, I spent over a decade having clinical evidence & empiricism drilled into my head. But there are things we see that confound science. One can believe it or leave it.

1 Like

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by coogar: 8:16pm On Feb 03, 2015
Fhemmmy:


Again, part of being a man is to handle tough situation and those that wanna slug it out till death do them path, what would they gain by killing their wife, mother of their own kids . . . . . Now the wife is dead and they are in jail, who will take care of their kids, such man is dumb and foolish, let her go and start your life with the 50% that is left.

let the system that made that law take care of the kids. these men must have thought of the consequences before carrying out the act. as far as he's concerned, the greedy wife is now 6 feet deep. everything else is an academic point!
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Nobody: 8:17pm On Feb 03, 2015
aisha2:


Okay, now I must admit you need mental help. This is sick, so its okay to kill her because she is rude. Mutter with all due respect you are not sane. Your own ex husband didn't kill you, but because you are alive and living you can spew this for other abused women justifying their murder. This is sick
Where is murder justification in her posts.

1 Like

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 8:17pm On Feb 03, 2015
manny4life:


Marriage on false pretense isn't advisable, but all I am saying is just because she crossed obodo oyibo doesn't give her leeway to do as she pleases. If the lady knows she has all these responsibilities, then she should reject the marriage plans and seek on how to make it herself. Riding on false pretense is only as dangerous as the day the man finds out.

So when marry a woman, are you not marrying her with all her wahala......Have you ever gone through the marriage vows? Go through it and see that she is entitled to what you have and if you were in Nigeria, you would have done more than you are doing in abroad sef, cos you will even pay school fees for her siblings . . .
Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by SirShymexx: 8:17pm On Feb 03, 2015
coogar:


let the system that made that law take care of the kids. these men must have thought of the consequences before carrying out the act. as far as he's concerned, the greedy wife is now 6 feet deep. everything else is an academic point!

These problematic nutters parading themselves as women these days are men's worst enemies. I've got a friend that has a baby mum who's turned him into a jailbird - and I was just discussing the same issue with one of my boys the other day. And prior to getting involved with that chic, he had no blemish on his criminal record. However, these days, whenever you don't hear from him for weeks - and his phone keeps going to voicemail - that means he's back to prison cos of his baby mother. The chic is Asian.

During the same convo, he told me about a next Uncle we know from back in day, who brought some chic from naij in 1998. I know when that guy brought that woman here, but she grew wings overnight. You know how South London is and, all these naij women and their lousy parties on Ilderton Road, where they get hooked up with the yahoozee Uncles. Apparently, this woman kept messing around with different guys - till the guy caught her. They got divorced, however, the woman kept the council flat - yet he has to keep paying spousal support (cos she's jobless) and child support. He also didn't get joint custody (I don't know what happened, but apparently they're still fighting that in court).

How can you look at this madness and call the system a fair one? Guys just basically need to look for ways to start outsmarting these women. A lot of lives have been destroyed due to this madness. Also, going to Nigeria, or any other part of Africa, to pick a wife, is ridiculous. These women aren't loyal and a lot of them are opportunists.

2 Likes

Re: Concern As More Us-based Nigerians Murder Their Spouses by Fhemmmy: 8:18pm On Feb 03, 2015
coogar:


let the system that made that law take care of the kids. these men must have thought of the consequences before carrying out the act. as far as he's concerned, the greedy wife is now 6 feet deep. everything else is an academic point!

I read your comment and i see the reason why the law will award the kids to the mother, cos if a man cares for those kids, he wont do something foolish.

3 Likes

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