pickabeau1:


At the bolded.. i rest my case
She does not see the kids as hers' but the man's

Simple

rman:


I love the way you make your points man.

pickabeau1:

No wonder

There is hope for you

Moana:
and the men who kill their wives over money issues see marriage as what?

rman:


So definition of girls and ladies matters...lol

Chai! I think this guy is wired like a lady.

I love your mentality sha. It is perfect for the big marriage scam ladies are trying to run.

You will live and die a happy man.

Men like me, Pickabeau1, Coogar that apply logic are only looking for a life long of worries. It will never make sense to you and the women involved.

So you never knew there is a different between a girl and a lady?
I am now wired like a woman? I would rather be wired like a woman and do the right thing than be wired like a man to kill my wife all cos things fell apart.
Glad you admitted that i will die a happy man . . . Yippee

Fhemmmy:


You are so funny, are you aware that you looking after the kids while she is out is no more an option, she now have to get a baby sitter to make sure the kids are well and fine, when she is running late from work, she now have to call someone to pick them up from school or daycare, cos now the duty is ALL her . . . Chairman, it is NOT easy and your money is NOT all that is important, if you could make yourself available at her calls to look after the kids, then, no wahala now.

pickabeau1:


Bro.. you still dont get it
Its about choices and options
The millenial woman is empowered and equal to the man
So why should u be patronizing her and treating her as an appendage...

She is capable of taking care of herself without any man's help

Your idea is so 1920s

rman:


Let me start by saying no one is supporting killers of women.

What Coogar, Pickabeau and I are trying to point out is the system is flawed in handling divorce cases and women are smart enough to use it to their advantage all the time.

rman:


The bolded is what your entire engagement with Fhemmy is about. What is logical is different from what is good or sentimentally correct.

mizzochocinco:
i am the one who is hopless and frustrated.May God take away my unnecessary bitterness towards life and may someone sensible look my way,i pray this year before my ovaries turn to mush..
i say amen.

Fhemmmy:


Yippeee . . . 1920, here i come, and your idea of marriage is done, "out of MY house" is 22nd century . . .Lol, i just dey enjoy you jare.

rman:


Then you agree with me women see marriage as a business investment.

Moana:


They would rather rot in jail where they will not have mortagages and bills to pay.well, somewhere they basically wont have a life.

chigoizie7:
this is were we think that divorcing a woman in Europe is that easy, a man who brought a lady from Nigeria to London as a wife turned out to be hunted becaus the lady presumed she has better rights than he is, that's not good,(European Govt. supports women more than men by law. so why wont they misbehave? a Nigerian man wont tolerate that, well,when the couple visited Nigeria, the husband confiscated all her document,left her with no money, quarrel ensured and she threatened to sue him, the young man proudly said, sweetheart , "certainly not in Anambra". that's how she started begging that she will change, but the guy didn't hear any of it, he travelled without her. now the lady is back home alone with the mother in-law (now very humble and respectful) my question is, why wouldn't they respect the man while outside naija?

chigoizie7:
this is were we think that divorcing a woman in Europe is that easy, a man who brought a lady from Nigeria to London as a wife turned out to be hunted becaus the lady presumed she has better rights than he is, that's not good,(European Govt. supports women more than men by law. so why wont they misbehave? a Nigerian man wont tolerate that, well,when the couple visited Nigeria, the husband confiscated all her document,left her with no money, quarrel ensured and she threatened to sue him, the young man proudly said, sweetheart , "certainly not in Anambra". that's how she started begging that she will change, but the guy didn't hear any of it, he travelled without her. now the lady is back home alone with the mother in-law (now very humble and respectful) my question is, why wouldn't they respect the man while outside naija?

Wow!

coachwilcox:
Well...this is a really long post.

Explains why there is a growing number of Naija men whose families are based in the US, UK, europe generally while theyre in naija frolicking, sleeping with girls and living like single men...only travel to see their families like twice or thrice a year.

Many of them ensure their assets are in Nigeria(houses and investments) while they support their family from naija (fees and all) .

Aint no damn western divorce law can touch their life earnings and their wife will learn to cherish and respect them since they get to see them once in a while. I have an uncle who went through the same. Ibo man took his ibo wife to USA and enrolled her as a Rx Nurse...As soon as she began to make money, the torture began....he lured her to naija and seized her travel documents and was about to take off when she began pleading alongside the family that she would change.

THe mumu heard her pleas and accepted to travel with her only for the matter to get worse.

Now hes outta the house he paid mortgage for over 18 years (having travelled to the states in 1982) and broke, living on state support and managing a debilitating illness...

Fhemmmy:


Pray the western court is not aware of the savings, properties and all you have mentioned.

cococandy:
quite confusing to me. I must say.
Although I'm not very comfortable discussing someone else's private life like this I guess it is ok since she put it out there herself.

But why go the extra length to make other women seem bad or evil for doing the same thing you would do if you were in their situation.?

One would think from her posts that she would bear all wrong doing and never leave a bad spouse going by how she tells other women to do so. She practically blames every woman who comes here with one issue or the other and never sees any wrong doing on the men's part. Whether cheating or physical abuse or murder (in this case.), she still found a way to make it the woman's fault.

I really did think she's not the kind to say enough is enough and walk out.

Now I'm more confused than ever.

Fhemmmy:


Pray the western court is not aware of the savings, properties and all you have mentioned.

armyofone:
Stress is dangerous, talk to your personal physician and gym up yourself.
I wonder what naija pastors are preaching every Sunday and at prayer meetings. Instead of church, go to the gym and work that stress out.

moca:
See, d way a cool and rich(maybe averagely rich) guy who proposed to a lady will be milked by this guy tru pride price(cos they don see mugu) is d way an away husband to some families is a potential milking machine.

I've seen lots and lots of this happen.
Especially d illegal and uneducated ones. Most times they will like to go for d educated ladies .go to pharmacy dept or nursing/midwifery in schools in d east u will find out most of them r married to foreign based niggas mostly uneducated ones. And in some cases, it doesn't go as planned hence we start hearing all manner stories
And our gals, being who they r, dont investigate and make inquiries. Once we here"abroad"we throw all caution to d wind and expect magic when we reach there. No courtship, nothing.
When it happens, we start blaming d devil.

pickabeau1:
Madam

Your post can be interpreted as a justification for murder

moca:

How?
I just read d story.
Can't go tru d whole pages abeg b4 I get headache.
Mean gals dey o
Infact, let me close my mouth.
Go to schools in d east and interview medical student why they want to marry "abroad" guy.
U will be shocked!

pickabeau1:
Madam

Your post can be interpreted as a justification for murder

moca:

How?
I just read d story.
Can't go tru d whole pages abeg b4 I get headache.
Mean gals dey o
Infact, let me close my mouth.
Go to schools in d east and interview medical student why they want to marry "abroad" guy.
U will be shocked!

Ewuro4:

LOL

bukatyne:


My question is very simple

Who owns the baby in standard Nigerian society?

donpeey22:
Why do you make reference to standard Nigerian society only when it suits you?

Have you forgotten that standard Nigerian society also demands that you totally submit to your husband, including handing him your paycheck at the end of the month for him to decide what the money is used for? Would you do that because standard Nigerian society demands that from you?

Let's assume that the child ownership according to the Nigerian society is reversed, and we now 'pronounce' that the woman owns the child, would you be happy if almost all you have worked for in life is taken away from you and given to the man for the upkeep of those children of yours?
I put the word pronounce in quote to emphasize that though the Nigerian society says that the child belongs to the man, in reality it is the women that actually owns and benefit more from the children.
I will use my late dad as an example. While he was alive (may his soul continue to rest in perfect peace), he worked so hard to see us his children through schools. Took all manner of risks, toured from East, West, North and south to ensure that we had good education. Lo and behold, while he was getting old and about to retire to at least start receiving some cups of cold water from his children, death struck and took him away.
Now, my mom is the "mama engineer" , "mama Doc" and "mama everything" with the benefits of regular cash deposits to her bank account and regular change of wardrobe etc.

Note that I am not in any way against my beloved mom, of course she still remains closer to my heart than any other woman on earth, I just had to say all the above to make you see that the man does not actually own the children like the " standard Nigerian society" would want us to believe.