Please this belongs in the family section dont move it moderators, there is a reason it is here and I will explain.

Everyday, every where you turn there are different shades and kinds of marriage advice for women

How to grab a man before 30

How to be the perfect wife

How to keep your man faithful

20 things a mother should tell her daughter about marriage

Why you are still single at 30

We make it seem as if that is the sum total of a womans life and if she is not married or if she has no man no matter her achievements she is a failure.

Sadly even parents fall into this trap, we are quick to jump and advice women about getting a man hooking a man taking care of a man, marrying a man and have little or no advice for women who have to face the sharks daily in the work place.

We have little or no advice for women who want to change careers

We have little or no advice for women who face challenges in their careers most times our attempt at advice is " resign and start a business " " don't work in a place where you won't have time for your husband it will push him to cheat"
Worse still when interviewing a woman who has reached great heights in her career they always turn to ask this question ; " how do you manage your home and your career" as if the two are not supposed to coexist.

I have a few tips for young ladies going into the work force and call on my fellow sisters to give a few tips if they can

1. Don't lay a faulty foundation: Use the right qualities to get the job. Don't sleep your way into the job or use your femine powers to keep it. You will never be taken seriously and you may never find out what you are actually capable of if you start and keep a job with the easy route

2. Stay focused; don't get too distracted with the male colleague who flirts with you even though you know he has a wife, girlfriend or fiancee. While you are busy mushing he may be taking your promotion and sadly if office romance goes bad you are most likely to be at the receiving end

3. Avoid office gossips especially about the boss; you are there to work and not to form a clique. Dont be the loudest voice in talking down others, infact avoid groups like that, invest your time instead on online courses to improve your growth chances in the organisation

4. Keep getting better. As I said invest in courses, seminars and any learning opportunity. Bring value to the organisation, speak up, give good suggestions, research before meetings.

5. Manage your personal life well. Abeg if you are facing a heart break take time off, dont go crying in the office

If you are a mother manage your home well, dont be that one taking almost everyday off to attend to family matters. You have your causal leave days off use it well and officially no need letting all the managers see you as the mother who cant finish a project because she may abandon it halfway to attend to family matters.
No one needs to know when you are on your period only your gynecologist. Invest in a good one.

Most importantly don't let anyone limit you because of your gender, you are just as good if not better than anyone else.

Ileobatojo, Cococandy, Chaircover, Chillisauce, EfemenaXY more inputs abeg
Bitter meninsit stay off

Lol @ bitter meninsit stay off
Of course women ought to ve a good life too but still not at the expense of having a good family(even men)
Why would you be called madam at the top when your family is nothing to write home about.
A simple question op, which ll make you happier when you become an old mama.

Having well trained, happy and successful children beautifying your days or remembering how much people celebrated you when you were the president of so and so?

Hallelujah somebody!
Finally, a thread that speaks to moi
bless you, aisha

alutacontinua:
Hallelujah somebody!
Finally, a thread that speaks to moi
bless you, aisha

Are u tired of being agender now

ArchEnemy:
Lol @ bitter meninsit stay off
Of course women ought to ve a good life too but still not at the expense of having a good family(even men)
Why would you be called madam at the top when your family is nothing to write home about.
A simple question op, which ll make you happier when you become an old mama.
Having well trained, happy and successful children beautifying your days or remembering how much people celebrated you when you were the president of so and so?

My brother we can debate the merits and demerits of women in work places in another thread but this thread is for advice for women in the workplace nothing else.

aisha2:


My brother we can debate the merits and demerits of women in work places in another thread but this thread is for advice for women in the workplace nothing else.

alright Ma'am

pickabeau1:


Are u tired of being agender now

Yes!
I love my vaagina

alutacontinua:


Yes!
I love my vaagina

Ow KAY ---- TMI

pickabeau1:


Ow KAY ---- TMI

what does that mean (tmi)?
And I've not been getting PMs of late
worrisdat?

back to topic-pickabeau, say something!

Too Much Information

You specifically requested for no PMs in one of your siggies

The topic is exhaustive
Nothing to add

alutacontinua:


what does that mean (tmi)?
And I've not been getting PMs of late
worrisdat?

back to topic-pickabeau, say something!

I advice my daughters to grow up emancipated and proud of what they are women.

If you have your periods- to hell if everyone knows ! that`s what makes you a woman. Don`t go swallowing unnecessary pills to avoid pain or to stop the period coming altogether.

Take off time from work to attend to your family matters! The project can wait or be submitted a day later or taken home .
This is what is expected of man and woman. Jobs today are paying more attention to the needs of the family and flexible working hours. In the western world families are dying out because of the stress of combining work and children.

My daughter everything "work "you learn at the Uni, everything "marriage" you learn from me and your faith.

Your first career and fulfillment as a woman is to be a wife and mother. That is the natural role of a woman.
Don`t let any silly women who claim they are feminist tell you any different. These women are struggling to be regarded as men and end up not meeting up to the expectations of a man and not meeting up to the expectations of a woman.
In is your fundamental right to live as a woman, feminine, soft and gentle, married and nursing and no one has a right to rob you of it.

When my daughter got her first contact with working class women without a husband and kids she came home and told me she was really scared. She did not want to end up like that.

Right now I am here fantasizing about my daughters marriage when the time comes and not her first job.

alutacontinua:


Yes!
I love my vaagina

When did you perform the surgery?

mutter:
I advice my daughters to grow up emancipated and proud of what they are women.
If you have your periods- to hell if everyone knows ! that`s what makes you a woman. Don`t go swallowing unnecessary pills to avoid pain or to stop the period coming altogether.
Take off time from work to attend to your family matters! The project can wait or be submitted a day later or taken home .
This is what is expected of man and woman. Jobs today are paying more attention to the needs of the family and flexible working hours. In the western world families are dying out because of the stress of combining work and children.
My daughter everything "work "you learn at the Uni, everything "marriage" you learn from me and your faith.
Your first career and fulfillment as a woman is to be a wife and mother. That is the natural role of a woman.
Don`t let any silly women who claim they are feminist tell you any different. These women are struggling to be regarded as men and end up not meeting up to the expectations of a man and not meeting up to the expectations of a woman.
In is your fundamental right to live as a woman, feminine, soft and gentle, married and nursing and no one has a right to rob you of it.
When my daughter got her first contact with working class women without a husband and kids she came home and told me she was really scared. She did not want to end up like that.
Right now I am here fantasizing about my daughters marriage when the time comes and not her first job.

With due respect madam This is a thread for career advice for women not a debate about if marriage or career is a better option for women please please respect that before attack dogs come and spoil this thread.

There are several marriage advice threads for women and no one goes there to say career is better than marriage.
I am trying to speak with women who face challenges in work without any coping mechanism not to start a war.

I respect that you will respect that. Thanks

aisha2:


With due respect madam This is a thread for career advice for women not a debate about if marriage or career is a better option for women please please respect that before attack dogs come and spoil this thread.

There are several marriage advice threads for women and no one goes there to say career is better than marriage.
I am trying to speak with women who face challenges in work without any coping mechanism not to start a war.

I respect that you will respect that. Thanks

This is certainly what I was doing advising women about their career!
The most important thing for a successful career is YOU.
The product you are marketing is YOU.
You have to love the product and be comfortable with the product to market it.
That means you have to be comfortable with yours body and spirit as a woman. You have to love you as you are.
You have to know that you have a right to take time off when your family is sick.
You have a right to be pregnant.
You have a right to feel pain when you have your periods.
Take time off to breast feed.

My advice is more in line with 2015- Women have a right to be women and still be successful.

BTW differentiate between a job and career.
Most career women do not need the advise:
Do not gossip, do not sleep around to get the job, do not flirt. Career women are highly qualified and educated women. They don`t do that and if they do that they don`t need advice on it.
Forgive my putting it this way but this is more like a "stay in your job" advice.

mutter:

This is certainly what I was doing advising women about their career!
The most important thing for a successful career is YOU.
The product you are marketing is YOU.
You have to love the product and be comfortable with the product to market it.
That means you have to be comfortable with yours body and spirit as a woman. You have to love you as you are.
You have to know that you have a right to take time off when your family is sick.
You have a right to be pregnant.
You have a right to feel pain when you have your periods.
Take time off to breast feed.
My advice is more in line with 2015- Women have a right to be women and still be successful.

And did I say they didn't have the right to these things? I simply said keep it under control so it doesn't affect others negatively in the work place
Half of the month you are away from work and leave your colleagues to do your work yet you collect salary. Thats what I mean.
I agree with some of your comments. However this is not a competition between work and marriage lets stick to it thanks.

If you are sick use sick leave
If you are pregnant use maternity leave
Don't go calling in behind the doors and refuse to do it officially is what I am saying. Being a woman is no handicap

Also bringing feminists into the mix was uncalled for, I know you mean no harm but as usual the dogs will jump in capitalise on the feminist statement and spoil this post. They will off course refer to me as that feminist who doesn't want women to marry which is not what this post is about.

Thanks

mutter:
I advice my daughters to grow up emancipated and proud of what they are- women.

If you have your periods- to hell if everyone knows ! that`s what makes you a woman. Don`t go swallowing unnecessary pills to avoid pain or to stop the period coming altogether.

Take off time from work to attend to your family matters! The project can wait or be submitted a day later or taken home .
This is what is expected of man and woman. Jobs today are paying more attention to the needs of the family and flexible working hours. In the western world families are dying out because of the stress of combining work and children.

My daughter everything "work "you learn at the Uni, everything "marriage" you learn from me and your faith.

Your first career and fulfillment as a woman is to be a wife and mother. That is the natural role of a woman.
Don`t let any silly women who claim they are feminist tell you any different. These women are struggling to be regarded as men and end up not meeting up to the expectations of a man and not meeting up to the expectations of a woman.

In is your fundamental right to live as a woman, feminine, soft and gentle, married and nursing and no one has a right to rob you of it.

When my daughter got her first contact with working class women without a husband and kids she came home and told me she was really scared. She did not want to end up like that.

Right now I am here fantasizing about my daughters marriage when the time comes and not her first job.

Sweet!

mutter:


This is certainly what I was doing advising women about their career!
The most important thing for a successful career is YOU.
The product you are marketing is YOU.
You have to love the product and be comfortable with the product to market it.
That means you have to be comfortable with yours body and spirit as a woman. You have to love you as you are.
You have to know that you have a right to take time off when your family is sick.
You have a right to be pregnant.
You have a right to feel pain when you have your periods.
Take time off to breast feed.

My advice is more in line with 2015- Women have a right to be women and still be successful.

I like this mutter but you also have the right to take pills and not feel pain when you have your periods.

Whatever you choose to do be it career woman, house wife, i mean whoever, whatever you have that right - This i think is feminism Right to be whatever, whoever you choose to be without being dictated to by society.

Yeah i like this

mutter:
BTW differentiate between a job and career.
Most career women do not need the advise:
Do not gossip, do not sleep around to get the job, do not flirt. Career women are highly qualified and educated women. They don`t do that and if they do that they don`t need advice on it.
Forgive my putting it this way but this is more like a "stay in your job" advice.

Can we also say married women dont need advice? If so why so many messages on how to be a better wife which you always give.

I won't do any further back and forth with you, if you think this thread is stupid and needless then let it be please

bellong:




When did you perform the surgery?

I'm still 'm'
But I'm tired of being one

Aisha2, you didn't even remain any point for us to add.

Pls if you have made money to buy a car, by all means get one.

Don't wait for those miserable born again telling you to trek so you will get a suitor. Trust me you don't want that kind of suitor.

Rent a comfortable place for your self.
Buy your small ride.
Flex life!

Remaining money, start building your house.

Life is short to be miserable , and living a fake life.

I had my first tenants before I got married. I still collect my rents even from far far away.

Nothing beats having your own life and pioneering your own journey.

aisha2:



Also bringing feminists into the mix was uncalled for, I know you mean no harm but as usual [b]the dogs will jump in [/b]capitalise on the feminist statement and spoil this post. They will off course refer to me as that feminist who doesn't want women to marry which is not what this post is about.

Thanks

Where are they? I need a Labrador and an Alsatian to guard the girl I am marrying for my son

alutacontinua:

I'm still 'm'
But I'm tired of being one

To drill an hole for you will be very expensive because it requires cutting of pole before drilling the hole.

If you are financially capable, then put yourself out of the misery of being an 'm' and get the surgery done. I can recommend a very sound professional to treat you in private

I know this Congolese woman who has been married a long time, she was a stay at home mom. Her last child just got married and all the three children are living far away from her. She is left with her husband who does a job that takes him out of the home all the time. She said to me when I newly married.
"I have some regret."
obviously seeing all her mates working, combining career and family. Now all the kids are grown and left the house, these her mates can decide to travel around the world all the time for vacation. Paid mortgages. Etc..


You can combine family and career. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
You are you, and your kids are them.

Remember to separate them, when you do, it will be easier for them to stand on their feet.

Aisha2 why did you open a thread and deactivate?

Gaddam it !

Is it that the Op cannot stand an argument or why did she have to deactivate her account?

She just preached that women should be strong and smart esp in their chosen careers,she hasn't practised what she preached...

And did I say they didn't have the right to these things? I simply said keep it under control so it doesn't affect others negatively in the work place
Half of the month you are away from work and leave your colleagues to do your work yet you collect salary. Thats what I mean.
I agree with some of your comments. However this is not a competition between work and marriage lets stick to it thanks.

If you are sick use sick leave
If you are pregnant use maternity leave
Don't go calling in behind the doors and refuse to do it officially is what I am saying. Being a woman is no handicap

Also bringing feminists into the mix was uncalled for, I know you mean no harm but as usual the dogs will jump in capitalise on the feminist statement and spoil this post. They will off course refer to me as that feminist who doesn't want women to marry which is not what this post is about.

Thanks

Na wah for you aisha2, you fall my hand no be small.

You allow these sisi to bully you ?? ?
You Berra get another Aisha user name before I vex for you.

Vyolet:
Is it that the Op cannot stand an argument or why did she have to deactivate her account?

She just preached that women should strong and smart esp in their chosen carriers,she hasn't practised what she preached...

Close that your rotten teeth.
Seems you are a failure and seeing such wonderful topic gives you heartbreak

Aisha2, not you as well. Come back!!!

First it was Debrief, then Jennykadry, now Aisha2.

Why? Why? Why?

blank:
Aisha2, not you as well. Come back!!!

First it was Debrief, then Jennykadry, now Aisha2.

Why? Why? Why?

They are just leaving us with plenty olodo s here

God pass them!

Ashia2 come back ooooo

This topic is a a bit broad and often the term 'career' scopes such a broad spectrum that works for A might not work for B but I will try sha.

It depends on what you do, where you are in marriage, location and alot of factors.I know Nigeria is a bit behind say places like Europe concerning family friendly corporate policies but we will get there someday.

First if you can (not cast iron sha) but try to get as many certifications as you can before the kids start rolling in.My younger sister is getting married this year and when she was dilly dallying on whether to postpone going for her masters last year I was the first person who told her to go for masters .She had done all her professional certifications and I told her just get that masters in now if you want it cos believe me its harder (not saying its impossible) with work, juggling little children so just do it now when you have less responsibilities . She is half way through now and will most likely be rounding up by around her wedding date.

I personally don't think marriage itself is the hard to juggle bit esp with an understanding spouse but motherhood is.

It might not be readily available elsewhere but in Europe parents to under 5's have the right (within reasonable limits and if you can convince your employer it won't affect your productivity) to ask for flexible working. So depending on what works for you or the nature of your job you could job share, compress your hours (eg if you work 35 hours work it over 3 or 4 days so you have some time off) part time hours etc.

Sometimes long hours does not actually equal productivity so being able to prioritise work load is not only good for family life but for one's general well being.

Let me go and finish some work (let me add try to spend less time on NL it affects productivity ) took a break to think of how to compose a letter and iv spent 20 mins.

Chillisauce:


Close that your rotten teeth.
Seems you are a failure and seeing such wonderful topic gives you heartbreak

You are really pained o,why the panadol for someone's headache?

The topic is wonderful and however,her topic must be opposed and opened for arguments,it is not enough to deactivate. if your sense of reasoning is lost,i advise you to locate it in the thrash bin. Foolish woman.

What happened here