---------.

No, I won't cope. I won't even attempt to cope. I just know I won't cope. I used to think marriage was hinged on full disclosure. So, what do we call this one? After marriage surprise package? I won't cope.

I once worked as accounts officer for a private hospital where the assistant medical director had mental issues. The MD lived abroad and would only visit and spend some days, the director present on ground 80% of the time was the one with the mental challenge. I saw "hell" then. I always took the brunt when he misses his medication. Now, imagine being married to such a person where I will for the rest of my life be there to clean up his mess, apologise and keep apologising on his behalf and if there's a violent streak, endure it. Sorry, no, I won't cope.

How could he not have known?
How long did they date?
The lady's family kept it from him too? That's unfair?
Will I cope at all? I dunno. it means I might not be able to depend on him physically,emotionally or even financially.I would feel trapped . I would hang in there for sometime and try to honour my for better and worse and but eventually my coping strategies would give way and I would break.
Mental illness never goes away. I don't think I would want to help a spouse manage that for the rest of. my life.

@kulikulitapa.

It is not easy living with a mentally unstable partner. It requires a lot of patience and watchfulness on your part. Having said that, mental illness is like any chronic illness e.g diabetes and hypertension. Treatment is for life but as long as the person takes her medications regularly the mental illness will not appear.
Imagine she was able to hide it from him while they were courting. It means she was being careful for it not to show and taking her medications regularly. What probably happened was that after marriage she would have found it difficult to keep hiding her drugs from him, hence she would probably have not been taking her drugs regularly. Also, the first year of marriage is stressful on most couples as they are trying to adjust living up close with each others behaviours. Tempers and irritation are bound to arise once in a while. This extra stress can trigger the mental illness and make it come more frequently.

What to do
The man should forgive the lady. Mental illness has a serious social stigma as seen by some of the replies here. She lied and that was terrible but if he truly loves her enough to marry her he should try and forgive this one imperfection. She too should apologise wholeheartedly to him cos he'll be feeling hurt and decieved.

2. Reassure both couples. If she was able to hide it from him during courtship then it means it can be controlled.

3. She should take her meds regularly, not only when she is feeling down but regularly. Also he should be her support partner by reminding her to take her drugs or even setting an alarm for her. Doing this will let her feel reassured that he is supporting and reduce her stress and worry. It also ensures she doesn't forget her meds as well. As long as she takes her meds she wont misbehave.

4. They should have a regular psychiatrist who they can visit once a month or once every two or three months to know how far she is coping and so on. Going to all these govt hospitals they will just give her sedating medicines which treat the symptoms but does not cure it.

Mental illness is just that, an illness. It won't stop her from enjoying her life or having kids or anything like that as long as she keeps the illness in check by taking her drugs regularly.

Peace.

5minsmadness:
@kulikulitapa.

It is not was living with a mentally unstable partner. It requires a lot of patience and watchfulness on your part. Having said that, mental illness is like any chronic illness e.g diabetes and hypertension. Treatment is for life but as long as the person takes her medications regularly the mental illness will not appear.
Imagine she was able to hide it from him while they were courting. It means she was being careful for it not to show and taking her medications regularly. What probably happened was that after marriage she would have found it difficult to keep hiding yet drugs from him, hence she would probably have not been taking her drugs regularly. Also, the first year of marriage is stressful on most couples as they are trying to adjust living up close with each others behaviours. Tempers and irritation are bound to arise once in a while. This extra stress can trigger the mental illness and make it come more frequently.

What to do
The man should forgive the lady. Mental illness has a serious social stigma as seen by some of the replies here. She lied and that was terrible but if he truly loves her enough to marry her he should try and forgive this one imperfection. She too should apologise wholeheartedly to him cos he'll be feeling hurt and decieved.

2. Reassure both couples. If she was able to hide it from him during courtship then it means it can be controlled.

3. She should take her meds regularly, not only when she is feeling down but regularly. Also he should be her support partner by reminding her to take her drugs or even setting an alarm for her. Doing this will let her feel reassured that he is supporting and reduce her stress and worry. It also ensures she doesn't forget her meds as well. As long as she takes her meds she wont misbehave.

4. They should have a regular psychiatrist who they can visit once a month or once every two or three months to know how far she is coping and so on. Going to all these govt hospitals they will just give her sedating medicines which treat the symptoms but does not cure it.

Mental illness is just that, an illness. It won't stop her from enjoying her life or having kids or anything like that as long as she keeps the illness in check by taking her drugs regularly.

Peace.

Very good

Flytefalls:

Very good

I know, right? This Xanax is great

5minsmadness:

I know, right? This Xanax is great

Yes! Your 5 min madness cure has allowed us to observe a greater you

5minsmadness:
@kulikulitapa.

It is not easy living with a mentally unstable partner. It requires a lot of patience and watchfulness on your part. Having said that, mental illness is like any chronic illness e.g diabetes and hypertension. Treatment is for life but as long as the person takes her medications regularly the mental illness will not appear.
Imagine she was able to hide it from him while they were courting. It means she was being careful for it not to show and taking her medications regularly. What probably happened was that after marriage she would have found it difficult to keep hiding her drugs from him, hence she would probably have not been taking her drugs regularly. Also, the first year of marriage is stressful on most couples as they are trying to adjust living up close with each others behaviours. Tempers and irritation are bound to arise once in a while. This extra stress can trigger the mental illness and make it come more frequently.

What to do
The man should forgive the lady. Mental illness has a serious social stigma as seen by some of the replies here. She lied and that was terrible but if he truly loves her enough to marry her he should try and forgive this one imperfection. She too should apologise wholeheartedly to him cos he'll be feeling hurt and decieved.

2. Reassure both couples. If she was able to hide it from him during courtship then it means it can be controlled.

3. She should take her meds regularly, not only when she is feeling down but regularly. Also he should be her support partner by reminding her to take her drugs or even setting an alarm for her. Doing this will let her feel reassured that he is supporting and reduce her stress and worry. It also ensures she doesn't forget her meds as well. As long as she takes her meds she wont misbehave.

4. They should have a regular psychiatrist who they can visit once a month or once every two or three months to know how far she is coping and so on. Going to all these govt hospitals they will just give her sedating medicines which treat the symptoms but does not cure it.

Mental illness is just that, an illness. It won't stop her from enjoying her life or having kids or anything like that as long as she keeps the illness in check by taking her drugs regularly.

Peace.

Thanks and God bless sir.

Kulikulitapa:



Thanks and God bless sir.

You r welcome.

It depends. Was the man aware of her health condition. It would be unfair to expect him to stomach something he did not
bargain for if it is a pre existing condition. However, if the mental condition came up after marriage, he has no choice but to stand by her.

coldgate:
It depends. Was the man aware of her health condition. It would be unfair to expect him to stomach something he did not
bargain for if it is a pre existing condition. However, if the mental condition came up after marriage, he has no choice but to stand by her.

Thanks please. He was not aware throughout courtship, the guy has tried all his possible best to assist her but the sickness keep coming and going taking a serious toll on his job and life generally.

5minsmadness:
@kulikulitapa.

It is not easy living with a mentally unstable partner. It requires a lot of patience and watchfulness on your part. Having said that, mental illness is like any chronic illness e.g diabetes and hypertension. Treatment is for life but as long as the person takes her medications regularly the mental illness will not appear.
Imagine she was able to hide it from him while they were courting. It means she was being careful for it not to show and taking her medications regularly. What probably happened was that after marriage she would have found it difficult to keep hiding her drugs from him, hence she would probably have not been taking her drugs regularly. Also, the first year of marriage is stressful on most couples as they are trying to adjust living up close with each others behaviours. Tempers and irritation are bound to arise once in a while. This extra stress can trigger the mental illness and make it come more frequently.

What to do
The man should forgive the lady. Mental illness has a serious social stigma as seen by some of the replies here. She lied and that was terrible but if he truly loves her enough to marry her he should try and forgive this one imperfection. She too should apologise wholeheartedly to him cos he'll be feeling hurt and decieved.

2. Reassure both couples. If she was able to hide it from him during courtship then it means it can be controlled.

3. She should take her meds regularly, not only when she is feeling down but regularly. Also he should be her support partner by reminding her to take her drugs or even setting an alarm for her. Doing this will let her feel reassured that he is supporting and reduce her stress and worry. It also ensures she doesn't forget her meds as well. As long as she takes her meds she wont misbehave.

4. They should have a regular psychiatrist who they can visit once a month or once every two or three months to know how far she is coping and so on. Going to all these govt hospitals they will just give her sedating medicines which treat the symptoms but does not cure it.

Mental illness is just that, an illness. It won't stop her from enjoying her life or having kids or anything like that as long as she keeps the illness in check by taking her drugs regularly.

Peace.

Mental illness is not just an illness.

It's hereditary in some cases.

I once dated someone who had a family history of bipolar and schizophrenia.
The way I left ehn, my leg didn't touch the floor. I ran. If you want your kids and family line to be exposed to the possibility of having a disease then go for it.

obowunmi:


Mental illness is not just an illness.

It's hereditary in some cases.

I once dated someone who had a family history of bipolar and schizophrenia.
The way I left ehn, my leg didn't touch the floor. I ran. If you want your kids and family line to be exposed to the possibility of having a disease then go for it.

Hypertension and diabetes are also hereditary. Nothing special about it.
The issue here is that he has married the woman already. And he needs to know the steps to take to help her.

It's not easy to cope with a mentally stable person in marriage sometimes how much more a mentally sick person. If he wasn't told b4 marriage then it's really unfair cos that's enuf reason not to marry someone in my place. All d same they're married so he should help her get help/medication to keep her stable.
I can imagine d stigma.

I can cope but the thought of getting stabbed while you sleep will definitely make it difficult.

obowunmi:


Mental illness is not just an illness.

It's hereditary in some cases.

I once dated someone who had a family history of bipolar and schizophrenia.
The way I left ehn, my leg didn't touch the floor. I ran. If you want your kids and family line to be exposed to the possibility of having a disease then go for it.

you are always running.When will you arrive your destination?

slimyem:
you are always running.When will you arrive your destination?

Long time, my wife.

I've missed you.

5minsmadness:


Hypertension and diabetes are also hereditary. Nothing special about it.
The issue here is that he has married the woman already. And he needs to know the steps to take to help her.

Leave her at the psychiatric center and move on with his life.

obowunmi:


Leave her at the psychiatric center and move on with his life.

you no send ooo

tit:


you no send ooo

Man has only one life to live.

Shouldn't include the burden of another human, am I her parents?

Pennywise:
I can cope but the thought of getting stabbed while you sleep will definitely make it difficult.

My thought too

He shouldn't try to cope with that. That's why mentally ill people should be in facilities designed to take care of them.
They pose a risk to themselves and their loved ones. Putting up with that is not love. Getting them the help they need is love.
Also Best to not try to reproduce at all if her illness is the hereditary type.

Hiding it from him is criminal and can get the marriage annulled as like it never took place but that is by the way. Although he can't be blamed if he chooses that route.

What kind of mental illness is it?

Many mental illnesses can be treated with medication and the ill people including their families live a normal life.