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She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by ifyalways(f): 12:19pm On Feb 12, 2015
She is not ready for marriage just yet.

@OP, dont call or contact her,let her be, I'm sure her parents would chase her back to you. However, when she comes back, accept her, seat down with her and have a talk. She needs to get a grip on her temper, learn to ask questions, how to deal with marital problems. You sef you need some reality check. You are married now and there should be closure with your ex'es and side chicks.

5 Likes

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by thorpido(m): 12:21pm On Feb 12, 2015
Closetoheart:


Uhmmmm. What am I supposed to do? Leave him?

My dad told me that despite all the things my mum did to him (some were obvious to us- the kids), he vowed not to divorce or separate from her. Because his dad divorced his mum and that made his life difficult. He sacrificed his love, happiness an d joy for his kids so that we would not be raised in a broken home. So would that be too much to sacrifice for my children? The only reason I will leave my husband is if he marries another wife or commits any other atrocity of that category. I am not blindly in love, but I am just wise.
I'm not pro-divorce.I actually encourage forgiveness and reconciliation.
However,I do see so many people hurt in marriages(especially women)and it doesn't make sense to keep staying in such marriages.A woman told me of how she recently found out her husband has a baby from another woman.I'm I going to tell her to keep staying in that marriage if she wants to leave?Can she really be happy in that union?
The reality is that your hubby can pick up an infection outside and you could get infected if you sleep with him.You say you will protect yourself but I don't see how a woman will keep having sex with her husband with a condom.
Seek a genuine change for your husband.Encourage him to see a counsellor and better still a sex therapist.

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by obongtunji: 12:25pm On Feb 12, 2015
If you are a Muslim, there is no big deal because Muslims can marry 4 wives. But if you are a Christian and you are here asking if what your wife did was wrong or right then you have a long way to go. She has every right to check and even be in possession of your phone, mind you the reason you don't check her phone is because of your dirty secret, blame yourself for having extra-marital affair and not your precious wife. You should be ashamed she even left your house and you were looking at her, I don't know why we can't say I'm sorry right or wrong besides you are even wrong here. Please call your wife and offer her a proper apology, drop your pride and do the needful. Just put yourself in her shoe, what will you do if you see such messages in her phone ? Just sincerely answer that question. My man please you can start by sending her apology messages immediately because she might not want to even pick your call now, but the messages will soften her mind before you call her or see her face to face, smashing your phone and every other things she did was out of love.

7 Likes

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by Closetoheart: 12:26pm On Feb 12, 2015
thorpido:
I'm not pro-divorce.I actually encourage forgiveness and reconciliation.
However,I do see so many people hurt in marriages(especially women)and it doesn't make sense to keep staying in such marriages.A woman told me of how she recently found out her husband has a baby from another woman.I'm I going to tell her to keep staying in that marriage if she wants to leave.Can she really be happy in that union?
The reality is that your hubby can pick up and infection outside and you could get infected if you sleep with him.You say you will protect yourself but I don't see how a woman will keep having sex with her husband with a condom.
Seek a genuine change for your husband.Encourage him to see a counsellor and better still a sex therapist.

Okay. I can do some of the things suggested here. Thanks. We learn everyday.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by thorpido(m): 12:29pm On Feb 12, 2015
mutter:


What can a woman do?
How can she prevent it? She either takes it or leaves.
You know this is something that is very painful for a woman, and it makes marriage so difficult. But what choice does the woman have. At some stage you get tired of screaming, shouting, crying, hurting and so on.
You just resign yourself to it so you can have some sanity and energy to focus on your kid`s.

The other question is why should one be in a permanent stage of protecting ones self against imminent danger? undecided
Your second question contradicts your earlier statement.If you resign yourself to it as you said,then how easy will it be staying in that permanent stage of protecting oneself?
There are women who say come what may,I will stay in that husband's house and it's ok for them if that is what they want.
However,the energy and sanity to want to save for the children may not be there because your mind cannot totally go off it and it will keep weighing on your emotions.

7 Likes

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by auntymi(f): 12:59pm On Feb 12, 2015
Tallesty1:
Some women really have fish brain, she don smash the phone n destroy all d evidence. Who is gonna loose now?

Call her ppl, deny everything, accuse her of jumping into premature conclusion and insist that she apologize, maybe she'd learn her lesson.
==========================

Joke aside, please stop chatting with that girl, when you are in a relationship or marriage, you must not do something that you won't like your partner to do to you.

Now answer me, will you be happy to see that type of chat in her phone?

If no, then why did you leave it your phone? You have no respect for her and her feelings.

If you are not ready to be open and honest in your marriage then you had better allow her to remain with her parents.
u too get S.EX sensE, u said it all no plus nd no minus grin
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by Abrahamweb(m): 1:36pm On Feb 12, 2015
she is not serious,birds of the feather,na the same mama born them.
meaning,how did the op n d wife meet,theres this lady,she'd always complain that the husband is always cheating on her,that the husband is always chasing girls,guess how they met!
in a bar,where he was fishing for girls to f**k.i usually advice her to be patience,because thats how he was when they met and she knows,i told her to be patience and he'll change eventually and he did,although it took a while.
but op be careful,if she cannot nag at you and you'll ask for forgiveness,she's not a wife(well good wife i mean).
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by elantraceey(f): 1:58pm On Feb 12, 2015
5minsmadness:

What would be your reason for going through his phone

It depends , truth is i won't just go through his phone just like that but when he passwords his phone and specially tells me not to touch then he's hiding something.
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by flyca: 2:04pm On Feb 12, 2015
On another note:

Dear Sisters, if you find such chats on your boyfriend, fiancee, husband's phone, FIRST, take a screenshot, send to your own phone. Ehhhen, other things can follow from there.

#tenk

10 Likes

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by chival(f): 2:27pm On Feb 12, 2015
elantraceey:
You are married not dating !!!!!! Should there really be such privacy and secrets in marriage?


I can't imagine dating someone that i can't go through his phone not to talk of getting married to one. undecided

What was the chat like? Why am i even asking ? What kind of chat will infuriate a wife like that? undecided


And you could still get angry undecided



lemme stop joor angry

I tire my sister. That is what you get when you get married to a man who thinks he's lord and master of the manor and that he is doing a woman a favor by marrying her.

There is no such thing as privacy in marriage. You signed off your privacy when you agreed to become one with your wife. Instead of fuming here, you should be addressing your issues with your wife. If the messages she saw are incriminating, apologise and accept your fault. Cheating(if that is what happened) is the sin here, not snooping.

18 Likes 3 Shares

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by kandiikane(m): 2:46pm On Feb 12, 2015
Closetoheart:


Uhmmmm. What am I supposed to do? Leave him?

My dad told me that despite all the things my mum did to him (some were obvious to us- the kids), he vowed not to divorce or separate from her. Because his dad divorced his mum and that made his life difficult. He sacrificed his love, happiness an d joy for his kids so that we would not be raised in a broken home. So would that be too much to sacrifice for my children? The only reason I will leave my husband is if he marries another wife or commits any other atrocity of that category. I am not blindly in love, but I am just wise.
Will you be living your life too as you have left him to live his?
Don't get it twisted, a broken home doesn't mean a single parent, there are many children from single parent homes who live amazing lives. A broken home means an abusive partner and parent or a cheating and destructive partner and parent basically a destructive home. You were conditioned to stay in such situations. You my dear are from a broken home and so will your children. Your son will think it is ok to sleep around with no repercussions whilst your daughter will stay in an abusive relationship because that is what she sees and knows as normal. I know you said "be wise" but I am telling you BE WISE, my dear! It is up to you to stay but protect your children very very well. A cheating husband and father is not ok or normal neither is a sufferhead wife or mother, vice versa.

It is better for your children to know you live in an open marriage than whatever they are seeing in your marriage, a wife and mother being cheated on left right and center and she is ok with it. Wisdom doesn't come because you said so.

27 Likes 4 Shares

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by Enoquin(f): 3:46pm On Feb 12, 2015
undecided It really is depressing what some folks have turned marriage into. Last december, you lied before God and many witnesses. And that's why I respect athetists, at least their stand is known...unlike the 'christians' who profess to follow the steps of christ but live worse than most atheists.

Your assumption of 'living happily' is pure delusion. On one hand is you having your cake (wife and girlfriend/mistress) and eating it, on the other hand is a purely ignorant wife. December - Feb 11 is darn too short for you to misbehave and misyarn.

While some women can live with a cheating or abusive husband or men with an abusive wives, others cannot. Background of the victim is mostly important when giving advices especially if we want to break the cycle of emotionally dependant parent on their offspring(s). Some people can swallow akamu, others cannot. Some can bear to have co-wives, others cannot. Some cannot withstand secrecy and unnecessary privacy in their marriages, others can. What one can bear so they do not reach their breaking point is peculiar for each individual.

So, OP if you no longer desire your wife for this high 'wrong' she has committed. Go and return her brideprice then...If not buckle up and make that marriage work, it takes the reduction of 'I' for 'we' to work.

As for women, I know how emotional we can get but take a breather before you go smashing phones, tables and cars or before you start wailing. Times have changed ogbon is now required.

There was a time when men were kind and their voices were soft and their words inviting....there was a time, then it all went wrong - I dreamed a dream (Anne Hathaway)

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by Tallesty1(m): 4:01pm On Feb 12, 2015
auntymi:
u too get S.EX sensE, u said it all no plus nd no minus grin


FAINTS
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by Tallesty1(m): 4:06pm On Feb 12, 2015
MizMyColi:


Tallesty1
Making Sense Since Time imoriver.

Biko preach it.

Yes you have a point too.
We as ladies need to learn self control. No matter how angry anyone makes us.

I'm not saying I've finished learning how to control anger o, but sometimes, if I'm tempted to burst into a fist of rage.....I just ask myself first......
"What will this gra gra achieve now."
Other times, I really can't help it and I vex smiley......normally grin
I will like to see you angry one day.

They say, calm ppl are dangerous when they are on edge.

That's if they eventually snap, because they are known(@least majority of them) to manage anger perfect well............

1 Like

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by auntymi(f): 4:12pm On Feb 12, 2015
Tallesty1:



FAINTS
mouth sealed lipsrsealed
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by otimothy(m): 4:12pm On Feb 12, 2015
op...you are are the major reason i kick against child marriage(in this case na u be the pikin)

4 Likes

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by MizMyColi(f): 4:19pm On Feb 12, 2015
Tallesty1:
I will like to see you angry one day.

They say, calm ppl are dangerous when they are on edge.

That's if they eventually snap, because they are known(@least majority of them) to manage anger perfect well............

angryangryangryangry

I was angry today na. See Below
You should ask questions first before jumping into conclusions.
You on the other hand quoted me to make a rather unscrupulous comment by implying that I might likely get to have more than meets the eye with a person who harmlessly asked for my help and I gladly reciprocated.

Now, that's rude.


If you or anyone else think of me as rude and whatever ill-thought there is, it means my goal is gradually being accomplished.
It is perfectly okay to be human, flaws et al.

I am Human, not God. Like everyone else, I am capable of faltering - it's your cup of chinese tea if you can't stomach that.

You're right though. That's the bane of a Type 9.
Everyday, I find that I lose the capacity to get angry and cuss rabidly.
Sometimes e dey vex me sef.

Someone will annoy me and instead of me to bear a grudge or remain angry for long, I find that I actually bless them in my heart and sometimes apologise sef undecided

Other times sha, I damn the consequences and get angry.
I might end up feeling miserable though. undecided
No one is worth making me miserable, so I do my best to keep my coolgringringringrin

1 Like

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by Tallesty1(m): 4:48pm On Feb 12, 2015
MizMyColi:


angryangryangryangry

I was angry today na. See Below


You're right though. That's the bane of a Type 9.
Everyday, I find that I lose the capacity to get angry and cuss rabidly.
Sometimes e dey vex me sef.

Someone will annoy me and instead of me to bear a grudge or remain angry for long, I find that I actually bless them in my heart and sometimes apologise sef undecided

Other times sha, I damn the consequences and get angry.
I might end up feeling miserable though. undecided
No one is worth making me miserable, so I do my best to keep my coolgringringringrin
Lols, This one happened online So I didn't see your face.

What I want is to see the expression on your face when you are angry. Watch it's color change and predict ur next move. That's all.

Weird thoughts thou............


I do get angry once in a while but I don't show it. Partly because of the person I wish to become and partly because I do hard starting when I am angry.

I have learned to control it sha because it is very bad when I am "really" angry. very very bad.
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by MizMyColi(f): 4:52pm On Feb 12, 2015
Tallesty1:
Lols, This one happened online So I didn't see your face.

What I want is to see the expression on your face when you are angry. Watch it's color change and predict ur next move. That's all.

Weird thoughts thou............


I do get angry once in a while but I don't show it. Partly because of the person I wish to become and partly because I do hard starting when I am angry.

I have learned to control it sha because it is very bad when I am "really" angry. very very bad.

Owh, offline?
Hmmm.....

I reserve my comment smiley
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by boolet: 4:55pm On Feb 12, 2015
Enoquin:
undecided It really is depressing what some folks have turned marriage into. Last december, you lied before God and many witnesses. And that's why I respect athetists, at least their stand is known...unlike the 'christians' who profess to follow the steps of christ but live worse than most atheists.

Your assumption of 'living happily' is pure delusion. On one hand is you having your cake (wife and girlfriend/mistress) and eating it, on the other hand is a purely ignorant wife. December - Feb 11 is darn too short for you to misbehave and misyarn.

While some women can live with a cheating or abusive husband or men with an abusive wives, others cannot. Background of the victim is mostly important when giving advices especially if we want to break the cycle of emotionally dependant parent on their offspring(s). Some people can swallow akamu, others cannot. Some can bear to have co-wives, others cannot. Some cannot withstand secrecy and unnecessary privacy in their marriages, others can. What one can bear so they do not reach their breaking point is peculiar for each individual.

So, OP if you no longer desire your wife for this high 'wrong' she has committed. Go and return her brideprice then...If not buckle up and make that marriage work, it takes the reduction of 'I' for 'we' to work.

As for women, I know how emotional we can get but take a breather before you go smashing phones, tables and cars or before you start wailing. Times have changed ogbon is now required.

There was a time when men were kind and their voices were soft and their words inviting....there was a time, then it all went wrong - I dreamed a dream (Anne Hathaway)

Many self-acclaimed Christians do not know what the bible really teaches, and that's why they do not truly have a standard. All they see are dogmas.

2 Likes

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by Tallesty1(m): 4:56pm On Feb 12, 2015
MizMyColi:


Owh, offline?
Hmmm.....

I reserve my comment smiley
grincheesycheesycheesy



odimma
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by baybiemee: 7:15pm On Feb 12, 2015
@ OP, if you are so ashamed to post the content of the chat here, then she has every right to be angry.
You sound like an arrogant man. Your marriage is so young and you are already cheating. Pathetic. Do u think it's worth it? angry

10 Likes

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by 2good(m): 11:06am On Feb 13, 2015
Marriage is a fraud for men. Men have nothing to benefit from marriage in the 21st century because they are still expected to retain their traditional roles while women have ditched theirs mostly. The problem is that society still brainwashes young men that they stand to gain something from being married and many of them drink the Kool-Aid not knowing what they are getting into. I am very sure the situation will improve in the future as reality makes more men to choose to avoid marriage as it is already happening in the western countries.

5 Likes

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by Lumpyy(f): 11:17am On Feb 13, 2015
princesslucy83:
She was not ready for Marriage. what if she catch you slaming a gal, would she die?
only Sms she wants DIVORCE,

SHE NEVER CHI CHUM CHIN.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
Really?are u sure you are female?

1 Like

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by Femsyn(m): 12:54pm On Feb 13, 2015
"The evil that men do, live after them"; This is an old adage, now, it is "The evil that men do, live with them".

Going through your previous posts or complaints, one can easily deduce that you are a womanizer. The woman (your wife) must have seen these traces before tying the knots with you, so i see no reason why she's crying wolf now that all is done and dusted.

However, I think you never gave her reasons to trust you, and thats why she was sniffing around.

Mr man, you need to work on yourself and be ready to be a married man, cos i dont agree you're one yet.

7 Likes

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by chibic(m): 1:43pm On Feb 13, 2015
Women are always quick to jump into conclusion..she say a chat between you and another woman and so what?..why can't she say what she saw and why she had to smash the phone.she was just too jealous to notice you are chatting with another woman.it really surprises me because women are the ones that sleeps on social media chatting,flirting and sending nak.ed pics to online boyfriends.but when their husbands just chat with another woman,all hell will be let loose.if OP is the one that smashed her phone for chatting with another guy,women on this thread will still blame him and call him immature.abeg OP no give yourself hypertention because this life is too short.no mind what women says here.they are birds of the same feathers and hypocrites.
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by Ewuro4: 2:16pm On Feb 13, 2015
charles009:

Though she has left the house this morning with some of her baggage, I am determined that I am never going to allow her enter my house again.

Hehe na wah..
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by Nobody: 6:06pm On Feb 13, 2015
Baba buy one carton of cold Orijin and chilax. She will come back. Igbo people call her action "iwe akakpo".
Keep some bottles for me too ooo grin grin

1 Like

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by allanphash7(m): 6:07pm On Feb 13, 2015
wetin she sef dey find?





ohun oju n wa ni oju ri





she should go ahead for divorce now





who is begging her?





look her very well she is from otuoke
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by BuddhaPalm(m): 6:08pm On Feb 13, 2015
charles009:
Hey guys,

I got married to my wife last December, we have been living happily. But last night, events took a bitter twist. She woke me up 2.09am today and started raining abuses on me. Be for I could talk, she smashed my phone on the floor.

The question is why is she angry? She read an exchange of sms between me and a certain girl. I stead of her asking questions, she went extreme.

I don't visit her phones and I expect her to do the same. Am still asking how she managed to get the password.

Though she has left the house this morning with some of her baggage, I am determined that I am never going to allow her enter my house again.

Now I ask?? Is it right for her to breach my privacy and get into my phone?


Next time, use Vault https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.netqin.ps&hl=en
Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by mcdokwe(m): 6:09pm On Feb 13, 2015
charles009:
Hey guys,

I got married to my wife last December, we have been living happily. But last night, events took a bitter twist. She woke me up 2.09am today and started raining abuses on me. Be for I could talk, she smashed my phone on the floor.

The question is why is she angry? She read an exchange of sms between me and a certain girl. I stead of her asking questions, she went extreme.

I don't visit her phones and I expect her to do the same. Am still asking how she managed to get the password.

Though she has left the house this morning with some of her baggage, I am determined that I am never going to allow her enter my house again.

Now I ask?? Is it right for her to breach my privacy and get into my phone?

It is not a question of if she should have assessed your phone, it is a question of if your were supposed to do what you did as a married man and if you would have taken it lightly with her if you saw same in her phone.

5 Likes

Re: She Went To My Phone, Now She Is Threatening A Divorce. by neyur: 6:09pm On Feb 13, 2015
elantraceey:
You are married not dating !!!!!! Should there really be such privacy and secrets in marriage?


I can't imagine dating someone that i can't go through his phone not to talk of getting married to one. undecided

What was the chat like? Why am i even asking ? What kind of chat will infuriate a wife like that? undecided


And you could still get angry undecided



lemme stop joor angry

Na you b d wife?....y u come put the matter for head like D.j khalid..

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