mutter:


If all women divorce their husbands for "cheating", how many marriages will still exist.

Thank you! no mind dem so a woman should leave her home because her is seeing someone else? then 95% of children will he leaving with single parent.

charles009:
Hey guys,

I got married to my wife last December, we have been living happily. But last night, events took a bitter twist. She woke me up 2.09am today and started raining abuses on me. Be for I could talk, she smashed my phone on the floor.

The question is why is she angry? She read an exchange of sms between me and a certain girl. I stead of her asking questions, she went extreme.

I don't visit her phones and I expect her to do the same. Am still asking how she managed to get the password.

Though she has left the house this morning with some of her baggage, I am determined that I am never going to allow her enter my house again.

Now I ask?? Is it right for her to breach my privacy and get into my phone?

OP, I had a very similar experience with you last year december. I live in abuja and was about travelling to lagos for a friend's wedding. I have this female friend that I used to know back in lagos before I moved to abj and got married. Its been a while that I saw her so I pinged her that I will be in lagos and we agreed to meet. Unknowingly to me, my wife has breached my phone security so she had access to my bbm. A day to when I will be travelling, she read my conversation with this lady without me suspecting. On getting to lagos, I pinged my friend but "luckily" for me, her subs expired so my pings did not deliver. On getting back to abj, my wife read my pings without my knowledge as usual but all she saw was the undelivered pings. She was very uncomfortable afterwards but the hard evidence to confront me wasn't there. She suspected I might have called her and we would have seen but that's not enough evidence. Eventually, I noticed something was wrong so I pressed her to tell me what's the matter. She confronted me and I was really shocked with her findings cos I never suspected she could breach my phones security. I quickly explained that she was an old friend and I did not even see her as she must have seen that my ping dint deliver. We eventually settled the matter but I learnt a great lesson from that incident.

I use the same password for my phones and ATM. She do withdraw for me from the ATM and that explains how she breached my phone security. Since then, I never used the same password again and I even made it a duty to change my phone password regularly.

I also made it a point to clear out any message that could be implicating on my bbm, sms and whatsapp immediately after reading. No matter how careful you are with your phone security, your wife may still breach it cos she's your wife, the closest person to you. Never underrate a woman's ability to get whatever she wanted.

Finally, don't be mad with your wife. Apologies and try to explain away the sms as best as you can. You have no right to be exchanging implicating messages with another lady so you are the wrong party here. That she breached your phone security doesn't make what you've done right. There should be no privacy between married couples anyway.

bbjummy:

What is he hiding?
What is he guilty of?
Hope he will feel good if the wife does same to him.

...the truth is couples must avoid prying each other's phones. If one must avoid ones spouse's phone,please do avoid it. Though it's not easy,still the gain outweighs the pain.

charles009:
Hey guys,

I got married to my wife last December, we have been living happily. But last night, events took a bitter twist. She woke me up 2.09am today and started raining abuses on me. Be for I could talk, she smashed my phone on the floor.

The question is why is she angry? She read an exchange of sms between me and a certain girl. I stead of her asking questions, she went extreme.

I don't visit her phones and I expect her to do the same. Am still asking how she managed to get the password.

Though she has left the house this morning with some of her baggage, I am determined that I am never going to allow her enter my house again.

Now I ask?? Is it right for her to breach my privacy and get into my phone?

That woman would ruin you beyond imagination!


I just thank God for you for TWO THINGS!

1.) She showed her hand very early..... so you have time to adjust and recover

2.) You have not committed the mistake of taking her abroad

A woman that has the audacity to SMASH HER HUSBANDS PHONE ..... for whatever was bugging her, is an accident waiting to happen.

Thank God "Your Parents Prayers on you were not in vain".

I suspect you dont have kids yet so PLEASE, for your own "Long Life", chuck out this violent woman that you mistakenly married.

Take your time to look for a proper wife, one who will show understanding and decorum, even if she is unhappy with any action of yours.

I am all for respecting one's wife and sticking together ....... but l am against this "man-manipulation and violence on men" as well

Lastpage!

Ladies don't look into your husbands phone. It would s a warning note. Beware of reading his sms .

Hey!Listern.I give you from now till tomorrow even to go beg her and bring her back to the house,if not...........

Abeg ignore her until she comes back to her senses. She smashed ur fone bc of ordinary text message not minding if there were other important documents or files on the fone. Again she expects u not to chat with other ladies simply bc u are married. Nonsense

seunmsg:



OP,

Finally, don't be mad with your wife. Apologies and try to explain away the sms as best as you can. You have no right to be exchanging implicating messages with another lady so you are the wrong party here. That she breached your phone security doesn't make what you've done right. There should be no privacy between married couples anyway.

Are you for real or just having a Nightmare?

Where in the Op's post did you find the phrase IMPLICATING MESSAGES?

Or so because he is married now, talking with the opposite sex has suddenly become Taboo?

If his wife has a sense of insecurity .... which is something some people have and there is virtually nothing anyone can do about it, does that mean she has to SMASH HIS PHONE?

...and here you are asking him to "apologize because he is the wrong party?

Abeegi, "woman wrapper" no be Love!

Lastpage!

Optimall:
This is no marriage... Wait until you mature before settling down. Mba!







Very littlelun....
I'm not married anyway but I would never beg a man who cheated on me... I fit kill am sef nonsense!
If there should be privacy in marriage then I don't see how they are one body.
Smashing phone is wrong Ko!
Op wetin you do why dem smash your phone? You for talk am ni...
Dem for smash your head, you even get Luck sef... Ana akogheri.
O
Aw! Don't mind me am just 15..but dis kind story dem de vex me no be small

then wait till you are married with atleast 3kids then you come back and tell us howfar

princesslucy83:

SHE NEVER CHI CHUM CHIN

Nope... She still dey chi Wa choooo

elantraceey:
You are married not dating !!!!!! Should there really be such privacy and secrets in marriage?

Weldon
Aunty tracy tell am teeeeeeelll am.........
Yeye man......... See ein head .....


Infact Nikiru ??........ Adaobi ??..... Where una dey make una come hear tori o ..

elantraceey post=30658190
I can't imagine dating someone that i can't go through his phone not to talk of getting married to one. [/quote:



As-in ehn......... still can't believe some dudes still ask 4 privacy in marriage

[quote author=elantraceey post=30658190
What was the chat like? Why am i even asking ? What kind of chat will infuriate a wife like that?

Ask o.... Ask o....... Cos he's HEEE's......











Well make I no talk na make e no be lyk say na me talk am


[quote author=elantraceey post=30658190
lemme stop joor [/quote] yeah.... Let's sidon here n hear all he has to say... Cos I smell something fishy

publicenemy:


She has other reasons not ur phone or text. She should apologise before coming back becos she should have talked about it with you. And pls dont go begging her,you havent done anything wrong despite the text cos thats no proof. Just act like nothing has happened,stop calling her if u are still...make know she acted like a child and you too are angry.

Any woman who can just pick her stuff and just leave like that when things are doin well will definitely leave you when things arent doin so well. Be carefull.

Its official!
Ur a home breaker.

Melahou:
Its obvious she has seen something damaging so defending yourself is out of it
cos its glaring...
she`s your wife for Christ sake...that you dont check her phone does not mean
she cant check yours especially when you have created room for suspicious...

ask for forgive and tell her you wont "misbehave again"

Assuming Op's story is true.
The ladies reaction was too harsh, what happened to benefit of the doubt, she should have heared him out maybe he is lying, infact by smashing the phone, she damaged the evidence.

Op could even accuse her of litany of stuffs to make the case swing his way.

Don't misunderstand me, am not saying cheating is fine but we don't really know what happened, op said " certain girl " with no further elaboration .

In summary, me thinks the wife overreacted she should have asked questions first

@Charles009 I have read all ur post since you joined nairaland, its obvious you are a chronic womanizer who sleeps with almost every available woman he comes across. U had sex with a cameronian and ur condom broke, she later told you she was HIV +, u had a sex with a girl at ur house days before your intoduction october 2014, same u was married in may 2013 and just had anal sex for d 1st time with ur 1st wife. Same u got two girls pregnant at the same time. Please your present wife is better of without u.

charles009:
Hey guys,

I got married to my wife last December, we have been living happily. But last night, events took a bitter twist. She woke me up 2.09am today and started raining abuses on me. Be for I could talk, she smashed my phone on the floor.

The question is why is she angry? She read an exchange of sms between me and a certain girl. I stead of her asking questions, she went extreme.

I don't visit her phones and I expect her to do the same. Am still asking how she managed to get the password.

Though she has left the house this morning with some of her baggage, I am determined that I am never going to allow her enter my house again.

Now I ask?? Is it right for her to breach my privacy and get into my phone?

4 things

1. You got married just last december and you are already having such text messages on your phone - You should be asking yourself some questions as well.

2. What would you do if you were in her shoes -

3. What do you expect from someone that wants to spend the rest of her life with you seeing such messages in just a few months of marriage.

4. I blame her for over reacting - she should have at least asked some questions.

charles009:
Hey guys,

I got married to my wife last December, we have been living happily. But last night, events took a bitter twist. She woke me up 2.09am today and started raining abuses on me. Be for I could talk, she smashed my phone on the floor.

The question is why is she angry? She read an exchange of sms between me and a certain girl. I stead of her asking questions, she went extreme.

I don't visit her phones and I expect her to do the same. Am still asking how she managed to get the password.

Though she has left the house this morning with some of her baggage, I am determined that I am never going to allow her enter my house again.

Now I ask?? Is it right for her to breach my privacy and get into my phone?

She's your wife and YES she has every right to pry into your private life especially when she suspects something is amiss.

Whatever she saw from your phone must have annoyed her, hence her actions. If you love your woman, you should go after her.

charles009:
Hey guys,

I got married to my wife last December, we have been living happily. But last night, events took a bitter twist. She woke me up 2.09am today and started raining abuses on me. Be for I could talk, she smashed my phone on the floor.

The question is why is she angry? She read an exchange of sms between me and a certain girl. I stead of her asking questions, she went extreme.

I don't visit her phones and I expect her to do the same. Am still asking how she managed to get the password.

Though she has left the house this morning with some of her baggage, I am determined that I am never going to allow her enter my house again.

Now I ask?? Is it right for her to breach my privacy and get into my phone?

Mr. man, are you OK? Are you married or dating?
Why shouldn't she go through your phone? what are you hiding? Where you forced to marry?

The day you decided to marry, you gave up your right to any sort of privacy to your wife.
Go and apologise to your wife, STOP THAT AFFAIR and bring that innocent woman home.

fireforfire:


Its official!
Ur a home breaker.

You must be a lady.

candygosh:


Lol. If you were my husband to be really honest I would just retreat jejely. One thing I have learnt in life is that violence is not a solution. After violence the problem still lingers. You know how they say the gentle strides of a lion is not a sign of cowardice. In fact, if I don't talk about it he will bring it up eventually except he's 'evil'
There has to be something I'm not doing right to make u cheat on me and let's be realistic marriage is overrated. It's my belief that at some point people want to try out new thing. If I'm not at fault n he's just an unrepentant cheat then I'd leave. It's not like I'm super glued there.
Beside, women need to keep praying 4 their husbands to resist temptations cos the single ladies out there aren't smiling.
About anger management what if she smashed the fone now and bits of it gets into her throat accidentally and makes her choke to death. Anger solves nothing it only makes it worse.
Even if her actions 4 leaving were found to be right due to the issues at that moment she would still be castigated of they eventually meet a councellor.

Ok what about a man who cheats so well that the wife doesn't know. If he delete his conversations and call logs nko?
Lots of men have Wierd fantasies I have always said that on this forum. When things go wrong people should ask themselves question? Some men are just not going to talk about it while some would. Just like the thread of the lamenting housewife that her husband want her to swallow his c.um

Marriage is a complex thing and before we delve into it lots of thinking should be done and boundaries should be discussed.


And I'm not saying women should tolerate cheating husbands. I'm just advocating that before we criticise we should do it without sentiments.

really? @bold

Tonason:
Ladies don't look into your husbands phone. It would s a warning note. Beware of reading his sms .

Only look into it after he might have succeeded in infecting you with HIV or hepatitis B ko.

bushdoc9919:


Yeah.....so if I was yer husband...and you caught me with a nice young thing in bed...one day after work...and you get angry....I hope no one will say Anger Management!
True.
How about trust? How about if privacy is cover for some night fun activites?
They probably do....but that does not make it right....and we should not be tolerating such stuff!
(Pardon if I sound angry.....but years of treating wives infected with HIV by their devoted husbands has left me less tolerant. I hope I am not that loutish when I tie the knot!)

My sister said that during Housemanship was her very first time having to tell an older woman who was a wife, with children in secondary school, that she was HIV positive. The way that woman nearly died, screaming and crying when the news was brought to her, cursing her husband in their language, brought her to tears.

The 2nd HIV positive wife she treated threw up blood in her office. They had to fumigate/disinfect it.

After that, she and her female colleagues swore that they would never tolerate cheating husbands.

Women, go to LUTH, go to their HIV support group. Go and see housewives and working women, respectable, bad o, temper o, quiet o, all in anguish, living with HIV. How they are scared of dying and leaving their children unprotected. Go and find out how high the number of them got it from cheating husbands.

I can tell you from experience that children of cheating husbands rarely make good marriages and have healthy relationships, they are so emotionally scarred. Sons and Daughters.

Then come and tell me to ignore my husband's cheating and focus on my kids.

elantraceey:
You are married not dating !!!!!! Should there really be such privacy and secrets in marriage?


I can't imagine dating someone that i can't go through his phone not to talk of getting married to one.

What was the chat like? Why am i even asking ? What kind of chat will infuriate a wife like that?


And you could still get angry



lemme stop joor

You can be nosey af but here's the thing, know ur partner, appreciate the similarities and respect the differences... Too much details seeking could be detrimental, learn to give ur man his space.

thorpido:
I never mentioned divorce.
She's however letting her husband get away with his lifestyle.There are women who condition their minds this way:'as long as he takes care of me and the children and does not bring her home,I'm ok'.It's okay for such women if that is what they want.

Like she said,she should keep protecting herself.AIDS is real.

She did say protecting herself and her children , what did you think she meant.
Men change , I've seen hardcore guys go 360 degrees , I hope her husband turns a new leaf before it is too late.

cococandy:
really? @bold

We can't all feign to be perfect! I might be doing something wrong he doesn't like.

It also still doesn't mean he's the right one like I said in that same paragraph. If I'm not d wrong one n he's just unrepentant then I can choose to walk away before I get Stds or worse still hiv


I hope u get where I'm coming from

Onegai:


Then come and tell me to ignore my husband's cheating and focus on my kids.

Pardon my asking so what will u do when u find ur husband cheating on you and he just doesn't care?
I'm curious

Sis what if he gives you hiv? Will you ever forgive yourself for rendering your innocent children orphans? Marriage is tough though but one needs to think things through.

mutter:


If all women divorce their husbands for "cheating", how many marriages will still exist.

oga go n apologize to ur wife. u passworded ur phone for ur wife not to have access to it. Very unfair n insincerity. Ppl like u dont allow singlers to enjoy demselves. Go n apologize to her before it gets late.......

candygosh:


We can't all feign to be perfect! I might be doing something wrong he doesn't like.

It also still doesn't mean he's the right one like I said in that same paragraph. If I'm not d wrong one n if he's just unrepentant then I can choose to walk away before I get Stds or worse still hiv


I hope u get where I'm coming from

Now that I can relate to

Melahou:


You are harsh oo...so you mean you won't 4give him over and over

He must show a willingness to change and take action or else the serial forgiveness will turn to indulgence.

During my nysc, I volunteered for our local HiV awareness group and the things I saw.
The things I saw . Hmm

One guy was even on drugs and didn't tell his wife. The woman was so sick she nearly lost her pregnancy. After she tested positive,she was made to bring her husband for couple's counseling and the man was lying that he didn't know he could infect her since he was on drugs.

I thank God she didn't commit suicide because she was at that point already.

That's what turning the blind eye to an unrepentant cheat can lead to.
I wonder if she can ever forgive herself for bringing a HIV positive baby into this world to suffer because she couldnt leave the man who's penis was perpetually on adventure.

Onegai:


My sister said that during Housemanship was her very first time having to tell an older woman who was a wife, with children in secondary school, that she was HIV positive. The way that woman nearly died, screaming and crying when the news was brought to her, cursing her husband in their language, brought her to tears.

The 2nd HIV positive wife she treated threw up blood in her office. They had to fumigate/disinfect it.

After that, she and her female colleagues swore that they would never tolerate cheating husbands.

Women, go to LUTH, go to their HIV support group. Go and see housewives and working women, respectable, bad o, temper o, quiet o, all in anguish, living with HIV. How they are scared of dying and leaving their children unprotected. Go and find out how high the number of them got it from cheating husbands.

I can tell you from experience that children of cheating husbands rarely make good marriages and have healthy relationships, they are so emotionally scarred. Sons and Daughters.

Then come and tell me to ignore my husband's cheating and focus on my kids.

Melahou:
Its obvious she has seen something damaging so defending yourself is out of it
cos its glaring...
she`s your wife for Christ sake...that you dont check her phone does not mean
she cant check yours especially when you have created room for suspicious...

ask for forgive and tell her you wont "misbehave again"

good advice

sweetgala:


She did say protecting herself and her children , what did you think she meant.
Men change , I've seen hardcore guys go 360 degrees , I hope her husband turns a new leaf before it is too late.

I know but we all know there are times we all let our guards down especially in a marriage.
It's true some guys make a 360 degrees turn around but there must be a willingness to change.It's important that irreparable damage is not done before then.