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Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by rossychik(f): 5:42pm On Feb 16, 2015
Well u really hav 2 take ur time. 1st u said ur Ex beats u but cares abt u I really do not understand

As 4 ur fiance u really hav 2 tell him hw u feel bein generous is nt marriage

My advice halt evrytin take time 2 look befor u leap nd ask God 2 show u d right way

Maybe none of them is even ur husband

Goodluck!

1 Like

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Babygal4eva(f): 5:42pm On Feb 16, 2015
GeneralShepherd:
Why are you constantly attracted to men that beat you? Do you really believe it is normal for a grown woman to be beaten? Are you a punching bag? Do you have daddy issues?


You need to have some self respect and find a man that doesn't see you as a punching bag.

Only one hit her and she left that one
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 5:43pm On Feb 16, 2015
The one here doesn't beat me no matter how angry he is
Creamish:
Both of them beat u. Neither is good for you regardless of the materialistic angle. Don't hurry into something u'l regret.


Its not too late to cancel ur wedding.

2 Likes

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 5:44pm On Feb 16, 2015
berem:
Marrying someone who beats you is the stupidest thing to ever think of. Please marry the one in Nigeria abeg!
I think she just wants a yankee husband.

3 Likes

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by eazy1990: 5:44pm On Feb 16, 2015
andromida:
None of your suitors love you IMHO. The former was a consistent cheat and the new guy is controlling,does not cherish your feelings. Why would you want to marry any of them. Gal you deserve better.
[b][/b]yes don't marry anyone of dem, go for a better option

1 Like

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Lerumo: 5:44pm On Feb 16, 2015
Love is not enough. Think deep down what you really want then follow your heart. But prepare your mind also, to face the consequences of your decision.

My 2cents.
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by roselynbas(f): 5:44pm On Feb 16, 2015
I suggest that you do nothing. Simply take a break, go somewhere without any influence nor interaction from both of them. Then prayerfully decide. Marriage is for life and you need and deserve every bit of happiness.

1 Like

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by JayTeeA(f): 5:45pm On Feb 16, 2015
babe marriage is a lifetime issue.. I don't think u shud make your decision based on majority wins d vote on nairaland.. I personally believe nobody can really help u make marriage decisions.. its a personal tin.. but ofcos our advise can help d process so here's is my opinion..

u can't go ahead wit dis present rltnshp because u said it urself "u r not happy" so there shudnt b a second thought on it..

as fr ur ex.. u sound like ur happy wit him so apparently u don't mind living with a cheat n a phiysical abuser so.. safe journey..

but if I were in ur shoes its none of d above.. I know no man is perfect bt please ur weakness shouldn't be a wife beater n a cheat.. those r not weaknesses those r value systems.. I wondnt do dat to myself n I'll advise u not to..

time os going yes I knw bt i'll rather spend 10yrs in marriage happily wit a man that cherishes me dan spend 50yrs in pain n depression because I want to marry early .

2 Likes

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 5:46pm On Feb 16, 2015
dossypretty:
That is one of the reasons am staying with him, my pastor said I should be patient with him though I always try to calm him down when ever he is angry. He is faithful and listens to me but just his anger but he doesn't beat me
you should try and know the best way to handle him,and know what makes him angry...we sacrifice lot not to make our get angry...u can do lot more for ur husband
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 5:46pm On Feb 16, 2015
Yes the one abroad used to beat me hen he was in Nigeria and it was all because of the other girl but he shows more care like when am sick and down unlike my fiancee here who doesn't really believe in pampering a girl while she is sick
rossychik:
Well u really hav 2 take ur time. 1st u said ur Ex beats u but cares abt u I really do not understand

As 4 ur fiance u really hav 2 tell him hw u feel bein generous is nt marriage

My advice halt evrytin take time 2 look befor u leap nd ask God 2 show u d right way

Maybe none of them is even ur husband

Goodluck!
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by manuroq(m): 5:46pm On Feb 16, 2015
Do you really meant you don't like being under the control of a man? But all ladies love being under the control of a man. I just think if he doesn't beat you for your mistakes then you should stick with this one and stay for the marriage. Love alone doesn't hold marriage but if you really think that running is answer, Yes! I might agree to some level, but opening up to tell your mind to both men would be a better option to running. Where would you run to? You shouldn't run from your family.
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 5:48pm On Feb 16, 2015
chidyhels:

I think she just wants a yankee husband.
seems she hasn't heard of yankee husbands that beat and kill their wives over there.
Na she sabi sha!
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by kwencypresh(f): 5:48pm On Feb 16, 2015
dmjinc:
we should kill your "EX" angry undecided

Huh?
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by mmsen: 5:50pm On Feb 16, 2015
Clearly this young lady is not mature enough to be married.

I hope that both of these men see what she is about before they do so something silly.

2 Likes

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by darlenese(f): 5:50pm On Feb 16, 2015
I think u should be asking those old cargos who wasted their lives, selecting men as if they are selecting beans, they will hv a better advice for u. I strongly beliv u know what u want , bt i pray u dnt end up regreting ur actions

.

1 Like

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by RiffRaff: 5:50pm On Feb 16, 2015
Please do not marry this new guy... I also dont think ur Ex is the right one for u.
Call of this wedding and save yourself the misery. Its time to make rational decisions.

Dont think about what people will say.. Bla bla bla.. Do what u think is best for u.
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 5:51pm On Feb 16, 2015
Fhemmmy:


If you look at the lady's reason for loving them too, you will realize she is not sure of what love it..... read all she said, one is "generous" . So sad why people are getting married

Yes she is not sure what love is did you see that is the only good thing she has to say about her fiance? she even recognizes that he does not care about her yet a wedding date has been fixed.

I want to blame her but i also know that poverty and bad training has shaped many women into thinking a man with money even if he treats them shabbily is a great catch.

1 Like

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 5:51pm On Feb 16, 2015
OkikiOluwa1:
na Wetin make she come do
Its dicey really because they both don't seem deserving of her or she has a penchant for dating the wrong type of men
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 5:52pm On Feb 16, 2015
dossypretty:
It took me so much courage before I could come out here to share my problem.

It all started in 2012 when I met my ex in Lagos and we kicked it off in a relationship but little did I know that he was still keeping a girl he claimed to have left, along the line we started having issues about the same girl to the point of him beating me.

This guy in question was once married but lost his wife after childbirth and so with this my parents refused me marrying him because he was talking about marriage. So after like 10 months he was still treating me bad I decided to quit the relationship but he begged that he will never do it again. Months later he travelled abroad and I also got a job in another city and left.

We still kept in touch but I met another man in the new city and decided to give him a chance. Though this new guy has no child but his problem is that he gets angry too much and wants to control everything about me but he is very generous . He doesn't even care if I'm sick or not, unlike my former guy who is more caring and always want to pet me.

Now I'm at a cross road because the one here has gone to see my parents and has set a date for the wedding and preparations are on top gear while the one abroad has come back to marry me like he promised. I'm really not happy with the one here because of his attitude and i'm contemplating on running away with the one from abroad because he understands me better.

Please is love enough in marriage?? Help me as your sister
...indecisiveness will kill ya. You'll always b.a.n.g.e.d your ex..wish you well...
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by jackreece(m): 5:52pm On Feb 16, 2015
Get someone else
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 5:53pm On Feb 16, 2015
Thanks
misfab:
i think u re troubled dear. and there really is no reason for d comparison btwn d guys. smthn made u fall for d one here in d 1st place...try stickn to why u gave him a chance.
however...i lld suggest u take time off to reflect on wat u really want. reintrospect dear n above all let God guide u thru in al this.. best of luck. cheers.
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 5:53pm On Feb 16, 2015
dossypretty:
Well what actually made me to consider marrying the one here is because my I seeked for spiritual help from two men of God that said the one here is my husband and that he is better than the one abroad, and I also has a convincing revelation about the one here too unlike the one abroad
if u run away with the first, you just gave him leverage to maltreat u the more cos he take u as a stubborn child nd that u have no parents to fight for u if he does anything wrong, the controlling part u mention about the 2nd me i just believe nobody is perfect nd if u really wanted to stay you will talk to him about everything including not being caring enough, but one thing is u will never feel satisfied till u do what u have in mind so its either u make up ur mind to make ur coming marriage work or u go back to the first one at ur peril, it maynot be evident soon but later hmmm.
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Mystiqme: 5:53pm On Feb 16, 2015
jaybee3:
Why do you want to leave something with a degree of high certainty for something embedded with uncertainty?

Una don start again with ignoring red flags

Why on earth do you think you are special to the extent that this same ex that you haven't seen in a while just decided that it is you he now wants. The dude is probably planning a trip to motherland so needs some familiar booty


Omo mehn shine your eyes oooo

This is the truth.
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by onoja12: 5:55pm On Feb 16, 2015
This what i hate most with women,they must give a dog a bad name to hang it.so to make your self look like a saint you want to make the second guy look bad.

Abeg do anything you like but in all you have said you are the wicked person



dossypretty:
It took me so much courage before I could come out here to share my problem.

It all started in 2012 when I met my ex in Lagos and we kicked it off in a relationship but little did I know that he was still keeping a girl he claimed to have left, along the line we started having issues about the same girl to the point of him beating me.

This guy in question was once married but lost his wife after childbirth and so with this my parents refused me marrying him because he was talking about marriage. So after like 10 months he was still treating me bad I decided to quit the relationship but he begged that he will never do it again. Months later he travelled abroad and I also got a job in another city and left.

We still kept in touch but I met another man in the new city and decided to give him a chance. Though this new guy has no child but his problem is that he gets angry too much and wants to control everything about me but he is very generous . He doesn't even care if I'm sick or not, unlike my former guy who is more caring and always want to pet me.

Now I'm at a cross road because the one here has gone to see my parents and has set a date for the wedding and preparations are on top gear while the one abroad has come back to marry me like he promised. I'm really not happy with the one here because of his attitude and i'm contemplating on running away with the one from abroad because he understands me better.

Please is love enough in marriage?? Help me as your sister

3 Likes

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Dahjhi: 5:55pm On Feb 16, 2015
bisous:
Don't do anything stupid
which of the above is SILLY? cool
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by freecocoa(f): 5:56pm On Feb 16, 2015
Mehn na wa o, how can you say your ex is caring when he beat you up because of another girl? Dude traveled since and just came back, how sure are you that he is still not a beater?

This your main man sef has anger issues and is a control freak yet you agreed to marry him, I don't mean this in a bad way but are you desperate for marriage or what?
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 5:57pm On Feb 16, 2015
He is not only generous but listens to me and also the personal convictions i have about him that is why I agreed
andromida:


Yes she is not sure what love is did you see that is the only good thing she has to say about her fiance? she even recognizes that he does not care about her yet a wedding date has been fixed.

I want to blame her but i also know that poverty and bad training has shaped many women into thinking a man with money even if he treats them shabbily is a great catch.
Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Holuwathoby(m): 5:59pm On Feb 16, 2015
I just like Nairaland! Some ppl's comment will just make one's day

1 Like

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by Nobody: 6:00pm On Feb 16, 2015
Dahjhi:
which of the above is SILLY? cool
Running away with someone who used to beat her is silly because he will then have the licence to kill her since she's with him against her family's wish

1 Like

Re: Its Four Weeks To My Wedding But I Feel Like Running Away With My Ex. Pls Help by realdee44(f): 6:02pm On Feb 16, 2015
dossypretty:
It took me so much courage before I could come out here to share my problem.

It all started in 2012 when I met my ex in Lagos and we kicked it off in a relationship but little did I know that he was still keeping a girl he claimed to have left, along the line we started having issues about the same girl to the point of him beating me.

This guy in question was once married but lost his wife after childbirth and so with this my parents refused me marrying him because he was talking about marriage. So after like 10 months he was still treating me bad I decided to quit the relationship but he begged that he will never do it again. Months later he travelled abroad and I also got a job in another city and left.

We still kept in touch but I met another man in the new city and decided to give him a chance. Though this new guy has no child but his problem is that he gets angry too much and wants to control everything about me but he is very generous . He doesn't even care if I'm sick or not, unlike my former guy who is more caring and always want to pet me.

Now I'm at a cross road because the one here has gone to see my parents and has set a date for the wedding and preparations are on top gear while the one abroad has come back to marry me like he promised. I'm really not happy with the one here because of his attitude and i'm contemplating on running away with the one from abroad because he understands me better.

Please is love enough in marriage?? Help me as your sister
This is a very serious matter. Do you even no why u are going into that marriage? For me, I think you are not ready for marriage yet.

Just make sure u are going into marriage for the right reasons. Search you heart well & tell yourself the truth are u ready to spend the rest of your life with the man u are about to marry, being faithful to him,nto love & charish him all the days of your life as long as you life.

Think about the vows u will be making on your wedding day & be sure u are ready to take dose vows.

Personally, one thing I do while in a relationship is I try to picture my man without all the good things of life and then I ask myself, will u still love,respect, understand, surport & care for him even when he has nothing & my answer is yes then I know I truly love the man.

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