babyosisi:



She is lucky o
It is so true
If she had stayed longer,she will even be praying for a man from Chad or Niger republic

edwife:


ahahaha but the man is from Cameroon self, and the fact that she is very pretty and did not have a bad reputation also helped a little.
It is during one christmas that i really knew that this "wife" searching in igboland is very serious....na so my brother in law carry me the whole Mbaise in the search of a wife-If you see the way we were received in all these houses we went to,i was even ashamed.

ikechizoba:
Hello,
pls i am new here,although i hv been following nairaland for a long tym now bt as a non member,i decided to joined today cos i need your help concerning marriage.
I got married last year to my husband,he is a good man bt i still feel unfullfilled within me,lik he's not d one for me,i kip having dis feeing dat someone better than him is out there,lik i married d wrong person. These feelings hv been taking my mind out of this marriage,i dont feel happy,sometyms i wish i could go back to wen i was single
pls i need advice on how to deal with these tots and to bring back life to my marriage

ikechizoba:
Hello,
pls i am new here,although i hv been following nairaland for a long tym now bt as a non member,i decided to joined today cos i need your help concerning marriage.
I got married last year to my husband,he is a good man bt i still feel unfullfilled within me,lik he's not d one for me,i kip having dis feeing dat someone better than him is out there,lik i married d wrong person. These feelings hv been taking my mind out of this marriage,i dont feel happy,sometyms i wish i could go back to wen i was single
pls i need advice on how to deal with these tots and to bring back life to my marriage

laykhorn:

a step forward. Indeed, a problem shared is half-solved.
I dont know where she is, I dont think I can face her. I also dont have her contact but when I get to my parents neighborhood, I'll try to get her contact. I'll also see a psychologist and seek spiritual help too. Do inform me when you start the thread.


I have to thank you sisters for your help. I should start coming around to this family section. I want to say an appreciable Thank You to y'all.
BTW, there is this amazing sister that once helped me on an issue but she no longer comes around here. I've tried to ask why but I guess she has made up her mind. Ivynwa is the username. She is one woman I admire so much for her help, guidance and advice.

babyosisi:



If is not a joke o
One man in this USA told me when he went home to search he had a suitcase filled with toilet soap and lotions
His aunts were organizing the girls for auditions
Anyone that comes,he will interview her,reach into the suitcase and give her one lotion and two tablets of soap and 500 naira for okada or keke
In one day ,he will see about 6 or more
I laff taya
One day sef he saw a girl in the morning and her younger sister came in the afternoon lol
I said nna you must have kept an exercise book for records
In the end he says he asked for three of the girls to come for a final selection and he eventually picked one

babyosisi:



If is not a joke o
One man in this USA told me when he went home to search he had a suitcase filled with toilet soap and lotions
His aunts were organizing the girls for auditions
Anyone that comes,he will interview her,reach into the suitcase and give her one lotion and two tablets of soap and 500 naira for okada or keke
In one day ,he will see about 6 or more
I laff taya
One day sef he saw a girl in the morning and her younger sister came in the afternoon lol
I said nna you must have kept an exercise book for records
In the end he says he asked for three of the girls to come for a final selection and he eventually picked one

babyosisi:


This is good!

cococandy:
Gosh how I hated those kind of things ehn

I remember once in a while some old lady would come to our house then to tell my mom that her son is looking for a wife.
The one that lives in Germany or London or Spain

As in "is your daughter available? That quiet fair one?"
In my mind I'll be like "who's quiet?"

And these people actually expect you to agree to consider the arrangement even without ever having met the dude.

babyosisi:


I remember running into a woman at the teaching hospital while I was in my 5th year
Just passing by o,she stopped me and I thought it was a patient's relative looking for directions but instead she said nne please are you a student here
I said yes
She asked where my parents lived,I told her and she was so excited
Her hometown was closeby
She then Proceeded to tell me about her son in America that was returning for Christmas and looking for a wife
This was before cellphones
She gave me her family name,her village and even told me what day to come,23rd December
I politely promised her I will be there
Of course at that date I was in my village with my family

babyosisi:



If is not a joke o
One man in this USA told me when he went home to search he had a suitcase filled with toilet soap and lotions
His aunts were organizing the girls for auditions
Anyone that comes,he will interview her,reach into the suitcase and give her one lotion and two tablets of soap and 500 naira for okada or keke
In one day ,he will see about 6 or more
I laff taya
One day sef he saw a girl in the morning and her younger sister came in the afternoon lol
I said nna you must have kept an exercise book for records
In the end he says he asked for three of the girls to come for a final selection and he eventually picked one

babyosisi:


I am looking for how to reduce my own
Any suggestions?

Stillfire:


So these things in nollywood happen in real life? So people hunt for spouses? I thought it's a natural thing. I mean boy meets girl, they date and then marry?
I've always wondered how these relationships work. After selecting, do they date first or it's marriage straight?

ichidodo:
This is a non issue but Tbh we hate intertribal marriages because this is Africa and especially a country like ours that is very volatile the last thing we need is our sisters coming into harm's way because of where they are from by prejudiced individuals in her husband's family especially those with extreme igbophobia-believe it or not that illness is pandemic and could go viral anytime soon.....my cousin's trad to a benin man felt like a burial because of the palpable sense of loss in the air though she didn't care but there was something very ominous about a trad feeling like "goodbye,we know we are NEVER going to see you again" Even till now we still fear for her. Anyway,Your guy should be willing to climb mountains, swim oceans or even bring down the moon for you how much less prepare or gatecrash himself into an interview with your dad with hopes to clinching the position or job title as your husband.

bukatyne:


Do you know that is was NL I saw guys are 'not desperate ' or interested in marriage.

I know guys who marriage is their daily prayer points and match making from one lady to another

EfemenaXY:


Why?

Why are you lot still afraid for her? Afraid of what, if you don't mind my asking?

babyosisi:


It does
There will come a time the men sef will be wondering say if she was that good how come no one has married her yet
This is reality
Go to Abuja and see senior girls looking for small boys to marry them and take away their shame
I am not saying it is shameful to be single but there are women in their 40s just looking to answer Mrs and sponsor the wedding including pay their own bride price
It's a terrible place to be
Many of them are girls who wasted their youth running with sugar daddies and turning down every young man who didn't have the wealth they were used to.
Suddenly all their mates are married and they have acquired wealth but are miserably single looking to settle with anybody
I have seen it with my eyes

EfemenaXY:


Osisi, true that, but money talks jare.

If she is loaded, even at 50, she'll get many hungry, hustling guys falling over themselves to get her expensive, 50 carat, diamond encrusted, golden ring on their finger. Come to think of it, is that not the aspiration of many of those Abuja runz guys? To land a ready-made lady with a fat wallet? She kwa would only need their youth and stamina to seed her and keep her warm at night, and nothing else.

ikechizoba:
Hello,
pls i am new here,although i hv been following nairaland for a long tym now bt as a non member,i decided to joined today cos i need your help concerning marriage.
I got married last year to my husband,he is a good man bt i still feel unfullfilled within me,lik he's not d one for me,i kip having dis feeing dat someone better than him is out there,lik i married d wrong person. These feelings hv been taking my mind out of this marriage,i dont feel happy,sometyms i wish i could go back to wen i was single
pls i need advice on how to deal with these tots and to bring back life to my marriage

ichidodo:
I don't know maybe the culture shock could leave her isolated and vulnerable maybe unhappy or depressed...then there is the chance of her husband cheating (benin men are legendary for that) and behaving like mutter's first husband just because her family isn't a village away or maybe she come's under fire for just being igbo and is unfairly scrutinized or antagonized maybe not by husband but his extended family like in the instance of TTC. So many things come to mind about the dangers of intertribal marriages.

babyosisi:


It's not easy o
Only very few men will agree to marry a woman much older
They won't mind playing or giving her belle to get access to the monetary gains
They will chop her money but if she says the m word majority of them will tear race
They know their mothers will curse them for bringing her as wife,they won't even try it

EfemenaXY:




Not if they're desperately hungry. As per on a good day, they get to eat 0,0,1 abi 0-1-0.

See, you and I know how shameless some Naija parents can be esp. where money is involved na. I mean, how is this case any different to a guy who marries his grandmother's age just to get the much coverted "papers"?

If this lady offers to send his siblings to school / set them up with businesses of their own, dem go get mouth to say "no"? As per playing a fast one, she too will have conditions na. Pre-nup (if that works in Naija), and her purse remaining temptly shut until the guy agrees to do trad, church, and court wedding.

#When cunning man die, cunning man go bury am#

babyosisi:


They are real life
My husband came from a very poor family and growing up people didn't expect much from them because of their family background
He told me that as he got into the university ,graduated,started working and his future seemed bright,all of a sudden some rich men in his place started being friendly to him,they would invite him to their homes and ask an out his plans .
It took a while for him to notice that their daughters they would call to serve him coke and biscuit was actually so he could see their daughters

EfemenaXY:


I think you know these are unfair generalizations, expecting the worst / end of the union, even before the couple in question had completed the marriage ceremonies.

In cases of doubts (like the ones you've expressed), both families should strive to meet, and spend some time in each others company. Even if they live poles apart, visiting or meeting halfway shouldn't be completely ruled out. It's very important that the fathers and mothers of the couple should get to know each other properly. From what you wrote in your post, it sounds like this wasn't done, hence the apprehension and misgivings, but saddest of all, the constant expectation to hear the worst or that the union wouldn't last.

EfemenaXY:


Have you got a video demonstrating the magical powers of your wonder oil?

How do I know that while rubbing that on my Ikeba, any stray oil that touches my belly won't make it shoot out of proportion?

ichidodo:
Sorry if we don't buy into your idea of generalizations because first off we can confidently generalize that 21 century marriages are rife with instances of infidelity especially in Nigeria and on the part of men...Now factor in an intertribal marriage where communication disconnect is certain and the wife can get easily isolated by the simple method of switching languages in a family gathering of some sort then you have the episodes of benin women being naturally fiesty as the general defence mechanism against their randy men.Afterwhich you consider the motives of these men involved in intertribal marriages,are they looking for free licence to roam without the imquisitive glare of a benin wife??. Add these all to the general psyche of a lonely igbo woman with kids or pregnant far away from her comfort zone. This story looks familiar..Oh yes...shiningmama and mutter's...As for general socializing by both families,why do we have to travel 800 miles just to socialize with them or vice versa why can't we just 'branch' by the roadside to see our inlaws abi na only our daughter dey marry for nija??

urchbarbie:
Chai! I av laff n die! Who be dis chic o! Funny but true. Gbogbo nise drugs.

babyosisi:


I have not seen any that married the woman
Those paper chasers,we all know the deal
But the naija ones,I have not seen
I am yet to see