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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives (276313 Views)
Before you Interfere In Any Marital Scuffle. / Man Seeks Divorce Because Wife Ran Mad After Extra-marital Affair / I Always See My Wife Having Extra Marital Affairs In My Dreams: Husband (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by edwife(f): 7:30pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
babyosisi: ahahaha but the man is from Cameroon self, and the fact that she is very pretty and did not have a bad reputation also helped a little. It is during one christmas that i really knew that this "wife" searching in igboland is very serious....na so my brother in law carry me the whole Mbaise in the search of a wife-If you see the way we were received in all these houses we went to,i was even ashamed. 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 7:31pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
edwife: If is not a joke o One man in this USA told me when he went home to search he had a suitcase filled with toilet soap and lotions His aunts were organizing the girls for auditions Anyone that comes,he will interview her,reach into the suitcase and give her one lotion and two tablets of soap and 500 naira for okada or keke In one day ,he will see about 6 or more I laff taya One day sef he saw a girl in the morning and her younger sister came in the afternoon lol I said nna you must have kept an exercise book for records In the end he says he asked for three of the girls to come for a final selection and he eventually picked one |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by edwife(f): 7:34pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
ikechizoba: Why did you marry him in the first place?what attracted you to him?how long did you know him before tying the knot? and lastly what makes you think you married the wrong person? |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 7:41pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
ikechizoba: Please be very frank and sincere,since you are newbie,you can always deactivate and come with a new name if you choose Is there now a new man in the picture Tell us the whole truth These kind of feelings usually come after you have met someone else 3 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by bukatyne(f): 7:42pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
laykhorn: You are welcome To be a wonderful husband, you have to get rid of all the baggage Sane as a woman too Give be with you and heal you You have every right to be happy and enjoy a wonderful relationship with a woman you love. Don't let any sick woman take that from you 3 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by edwife(f): 7:45pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
babyosisi: Oh my God! Two of the girls we went to see,one lived in Port harcourt and one in Abuja.My brother in law said God forbid that thing!do I know what they do there,akunakuna-the way we left those houses,chei i pitied the girl.... For some it is easy but for some it is no joke!Sometimes i don't blame these old women...my mum best friend is a heavy smoker and drinker now.A very intelligent and well made woman.She was so proud when she was young and rejected suitors at sight! After many years,my mama don born 9 self,the woman decided to have kids for an old rich man....despite the fact that she is rich and have her two daughters,but she is a very sad woman.She once told my mum that she regrets her choices.... 4 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by cococandy(f): 7:57pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
Gosh how I hated those kind of things ehn I remember once in a while some old lady would come to our house then to tell my mom that her son is looking for a wife. The one that lives in Germany or London or Spain As in "is your daughter available? That quiet fair one?" In my mind I'll be like "who's quiet?" And these people actually expect you to agree to consider the arrangement even without ever having met the dude. babyosisi: 3 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 8:03pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
babyosisi:Thanx ma'am..you're the best. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 8:06pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
cococandy: I remember running into a woman at the teaching hospital while I was in my 5th year Just passing by o,she stopped me and I thought it was a patient's relative looking for directions but instead she said nne please are you a student here I said yes She asked where my parents lived,I told her and she was so excited Her hometown was closeby She then Proceeded to tell me about her son in America that was returning for Christmas and looking for a wife This was before cellphones She gave me her family name,her village and even told me what day to come,23rd December I politely promised her I will be there Of course at that date I was in my village with my family 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by bukatyne(f): 8:10pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
babyosisi: Do you know that is was NL I saw guys are 'not desperate ' or interested in marriage. I know guys who marriage is their daily prayer points and match making from one lady to another 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 8:20pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
The funniest of all was a schoolmate at FGGC,I ran into in the hospital also She was with these two hefty hamburger laden men that were obvious Americanas We hadn't seen each other in years so we were catching up on things I learned she was at FUTO studying engineering Whilee we chatted,the two men walked a bit ahead and waited for her She told me one of the men was her older brother and the other was his friend or cousin They came from the USA and were looking for wives She asked if I was interested Just like that I said no,mind you I was just about 20/21, just started the clinicals She asked if I knew anyone I could introduce,I said I will ask I walked away shaking my head Small time I heard the brother was engaged to one girl in the final year and it was one of the men that came in a Mercedes.,by the time I came over here I heard that marriage lasted just a few months This story gets very interesting Many many many years later just a few years ago actually,I was at a graduation party and was chatting with this lady She eventually introduced me to her fine husband and I found out they were from somewhere in Mbaise I said wow,I had a good friend from that village and when I called her name,it was his sister,his younger sister I then teased and asked if he was the one that came with a friend or cousin to UNTH to look for a wife years ago and lo and behold he was I teased the wife say na me for marry her husband o We had a good laugh Incidentally my friend ( her sister) was here on holidays and we got to chat on the phone and recalled that incidence Very small world indeed 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Stillfire: 8:26pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
babyosisi: So these things in nollywood happen in real life? So people hunt for spouses? I thought it's a natural thing. I mean boy meets girl, they date and then marry? I've always wondered how these relationships work. After selecting, do they date first or it's marriage straight? |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 8:27pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
babyosisi:Yes na! |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 8:28pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
Stillfire: They are real life My husband came from a very poor family and growing up people didn't expect much from them because of their family background He told me that as he got into the university ,graduated,started working and his future seemed bright,all of a sudden some rich men in his place started being friendly to him,they would invite him to their homes and ask an out his plans . It took a while for him to notice that their daughters they would call to serve him coke and biscuit was actually so he could see their daughters |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by EfemenaXY: 8:29pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
ichidodo: Why? Why are you lot still afraid for her? Afraid of what, if you don't mind my asking? 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by trendiitee(f): 8:31pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
ive been following dis thread closely and I must confess it has really blessed me a lot. babyosisi, bukatyne, cococandy, efemenaxy. a big Weldone to you all. may God continue to uphold ur homes. 5 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 8:36pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
bukatyne: Some here are actually children who still collect pocket money especially the loud mouthed ones Many are still trying to scale WAEC 13 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 8:44pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
They search for wives like this in igbo land? I see this only on movies o. How do one expect anybody to marry a man she doesn't know? Strange. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 8:45pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
EfemenaXY:I don't know maybe the culture shock could leave her isolated and vulnerable maybe unhappy or depressed...then there is the chance of her husband cheating (benin men are legendary for that) and behaving like mutter's first husband just because her family isn't a village away or maybe she come's under fire for just being igbo and is unfairly scrutinized or antagonized maybe not by husband but his extended family like in the instance of TTC. So many things come to mind about the dangers of intertribal marriages. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by EfemenaXY: 8:50pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
babyosisi: Osisi, true that, but money talks jare. If she is loaded, even at 50, she'll get many hungry, hustling guys falling over themselves to get her expensive, 50 carat, diamond encrusted, golden ring on their finger. Come to think of it, is that not the aspiration of many of those Abuja runz guys? To land a ready-made lady with a fat wallet? She kwa would only need their youth and stamina to seed her and keep her warm at night, and nothing else. 2 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 8:54pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
EfemenaXY: It's not easy o Only very few men will agree to marry a woman much older They won't mind playing or giving her belle to get access to the monetary gains They will chop her money but if she says the m word majority of them will tear race They know their mothers will curse them for bringing her as wife,they won't even try it |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by EfemenaXY: 8:58pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
ikechizoba: Just 365 days of marriage and you already feel like this? I think you need to ask yourself why you married this man in the first place. Was it due to peer / family / societal pressure? Or did you marry him because you felt time was running out on you, so you just had to "manage" anyone who asks your hand in marriage? Incidentally, which brings me to ask: how old are you, if you don't mind my asking? On the other hand, have you gone through any life changing experiences of recent? Like giving birth to a baby for example? Or getting pregnant, hence your feeling trapped? You need to give us a bit more about your circumstances. 3 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by EfemenaXY: 9:09pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
ichidodo: I think you know these are unfair generalizations, expecting the worst / end of the union, even before the couple in question had completed the marriage ceremonies. In cases of doubts (like the ones you've expressed), both families should strive to meet, and spend some time in each others company. Even if they live poles apart, visiting or meeting halfway shouldn't be completely ruled out. It's very important that the fathers and mothers of the couple should get to know each other properly. From what you wrote in your post, it sounds like this wasn't done, hence the apprehension and misgivings, but saddest of all, the constant expectation to hear the worst or that the union wouldn't last. 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by EfemenaXY: 9:15pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
babyosisi: Not if they're desperately hungry. As per on a good day, they get to eat 0,0,1 abi 0-1-0. See, you and I know how shameless some Naija parents can be esp. where money is involved na. I mean, how is this case any different to a guy who marries his grandmother's age just to get the much coverted "papers"? If this lady offers to send his siblings to school / set them up with businesses of their own, dem go get mouth to say "no"? As per playing a fast one, she too will have conditions na. Pre-nup (if that works in Naija), and her purse remaining temptly shut until the guy agrees to do trad, church, and court wedding. #When cunning man die, cunning man go bury am# 5 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by Nobody: 9:23pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
EfemenaXY: I have not seen any that married the woman Those paper chasers,we all know the deal But the naija ones,I have not seen I am yet to see |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by freecocoa(f): 9:31pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
babyosisi:Lol . You go fear na. |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by ichidodo: 9:54pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
EfemenaXY:[b] Sorry if we don't buy into your idea of generalizations because first off we can confidently generalize that 21 century marriages are rife with instances of infidelity especially in Nigeria and on the part of men...Now factor in an intertribal marriage where communication disconnect is certain and the wife can get easily isolated by the simple method of switching languages in a family gathering of some sort then you have the episodes of benin women being naturally fiesty as the general defence mechanism against their randy men.Afterwhich you consider the motives of these men involved in intertribal marriages,are they looking for free licence to roam without the inquisitive glare of a benin wife??. Add these all to the general psyche of a lonely igbo woman with kids or pregnant far away from her comfort zone. This story looks familiar..Oh yes...shiningmama and mutter's...As for general socializing by both families,why do we have to travel 800 miles just to socialize with them or vice versa why can't we just 'branch' by the roadside to see our inlaws abi na only our daughter dey marry for nija??[/b] |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by urchbarbie(f): 10:09pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
Chai! I av laff n die! Who be dis chic o! Funny but true. Gbogbo nise drugs. EfemenaXY: |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by EfemenaXY: 10:10pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
ichidodo: You still don't get it. It's got nothing to do with "buying into an idea of generalization", but asking you not to make sweeping statements about certain cultures / tribes. I'm not Benin, neither is any member of my family married to a Benin person (in case anyone's wondering about my stance on this issue), and I think it's unfair for you to assume that just because her man is Benin, then it automatically translates into the fact that he must or will be cheating on her. Cheating isn't the exclusive preserve of any tribe but dependent on the makeup / personality of the individual in question. Meaning, you do have Igbo, Yoruba, Hausa, Urhobo, Benin, Ghanian, Arabian, European, Asian, Eskimo, etc men who can and have played the field. Tell me this: If your female relative had kept to marrying someone from her village, would that be 100% guarantee that her marriage would be one long street paved with gold and nothing but entire martial bliss? Another important point is that women can also play the field too. So strictly speaking, it isn't a one-way street. Be that as it may, every tribe has got it's faults but that notwithstanding, it's no cause to tar everyone from a particular culture with the same brush. It's extremely short-sighted. Additionally, I did mention in my post that even if the families can't travel to each other's place (I still don't see why that's an unachievable feat), they can make concerted efforts to meet half way. Either way, it is important they meet so they table and discuss their misgivings. And yes, I still think that if they'd done that, there wouldn't have been any need to turn up at what ought to be a joyful occasion and treat it like a funeral (your words) 5 Likes |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by EfemenaXY: 10:12pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
urchbarbie: My dear, I'm not adverse to asking question oooh! If he wanna sell his "magic oil", we need to see some sort of demonstration that it works, but also ensure that it won't work it's magic in the "wrong" areas. 1 Like |
Re: Babyosisi's Marital Advice To New And Intended Wives by EfemenaXY: 10:16pm On Feb 16, 2015 |
babyosisi: I'm sure they exist. They must exist. Anything is possible in Naija. It's the land of plenty "happenings". It's just that mama nor go fit shout because: 1. She's seriously enjoying her daughter-in-law's money. 2. Her daughter in law senior her wella. Infact, old enough to be mama's mother. You sef think am, na... 1 Like 2 Shares |
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