mmsen:
Clearly this young lady is not mature enough to be married.

I hope that both of these men see what she is about before they do so something silly.

dossypretty:
It took me so much courage before I could come out here to share my problem.

It all started in 2012 when I met my ex in Lagos and we kicked it off in a relationship but little did I know that he was still keeping a girl he claimed to have left, along the line we started having issues about the same girl to the point of him beating me.

This guy in question was once married but lost his wife after childbirth and so with this my parents refused me marrying him because he was talking about marriage. So after like 10 months he was still treating me bad I decided to quit the relationship but he begged that he will never do it again. Months later he travelled abroad and I also got a job in another city and left.

We still kept in touch but I met another man in the new city and decided to give him a chance. Though this new guy has no child but his problem is that he gets angry too much and wants to control everything about me but he is very generous . He doesn't even care if I'm sick or not, unlike my former guy who is more caring and always want to pet me.

Now I'm at a cross road because the one here has gone to see my parents and has set a date for the wedding and preparations are on top gear while the one abroad has come back to marry me like he promised. I'm really not happy with the one here because of his attitude and i'm contemplating on running away with the one from abroad because he understands me better.

Please is love enough in marriage?? Help me as your sister

100Cents:


How many of them mature before ?

It is an intelligence thing not body maturity per say. Some ladies think and behave like children till old age..

andromida:



Owk he listens to you but you feel he does not show you enough care?

Do you like him?

dustydee:
One beats you the other is not caring. hmmmn. Look well before you leap, from your story, both of them may not be right for you.

striktlymi:
If you were my sister I would advise you not to marry any of them. They both do not respect you enough. If they do this before marriage what do you think would happen after marriage?

The following are likely:

For your ex:

1) He will continue to beat you. Probably the wife died from complications arising from the beating she received from him while she was pregnant.
2) He will continue to cheat on you.
3) The petting you crave would go out the window cause you are now part of his property.

For your present guy:


1) He may not allow you work and may get angry when you ask him for money casue he may think he has already given you more than enough when you guys were dating.

2) You may most likely be confided to the house. No going out with friends and any male visitor is a potential suspect which may lead to some unhealthy situations at home.

3) You would have no right to say you are tired when he feels like having sex. He owns you and would want you to fulfill his every sexual fantasy whether you like to or not.

4) You may most likely be turned to his maid. You do everything that is required of you as at when due without complaint of tiredness.

If all those await my sister in any man, I would advise her to look the other way. Better to remain single than go through those hassles. So I advise you as a brother not to marry any of them.

striktlymi:
If you were my sister I would advise you not to marry any of them. They both do not respect you enough. If they do this before marriage what do you think would happen after marriage?

The following are likely:

For your ex:

1) He will continue to beat you. Probably the wife died from complications arising from the beating she received from him while she was pregnant.
2) He will continue to cheat on you.
3) The petting you crave would go out the window cause you are now part of his property.

For your present guy:


[s]1) He may not allow you work and may get angry when you ask him for money casue he may think he has already given you more than enough when you guys were dating.

2) You may most likely be confided to the house. No going out with friends and any male visitor is a potential suspect which may lead to some unhealthy situations at home.

3) You would have no right to say you are tired when he feels like having sex. He owns you and would want you to fulfill his every sexual fantasy whether you like to or not.

4) You may most likely be turned to his maid. You do everything that is required of you as at when due without complaint of tiredness.

If all those await my sister in any man, I would advise her to look the other way. Better to remain single than go through those hassles. So I advise you as a brother not to marry any of them[/s] .

sheymoni:
Choose the one with the longest dick
You'll thank me later

Tydies:
Pls run away but make sure you don't run away with his money..

raayah:
Take a coin and name the two sides. One LOCAL and the other ABROAD. Flip the coin. Easy peesy.

dossypretty:
It took me so much courage before I could come out here to share my problem.

It all started in 2012 when I met my ex in Lagos and we kicked it off in a relationship but little did I know that he was still keeping a girl he claimed to have left, along the line we started having issues about the same girl to the point of him beating me.

This guy in question was once married but lost his wife after childbirth and so with this my parents refused me marrying him because he was talking about marriage. So after like 10 months he was still treating me bad I decided to quit the relationship but he begged that he will never do it again. Months later he travelled abroad and I also got a job in another city and left.

We still kept in touch but I met another man in the new city and decided to give him a chance. Though this new guy has no child but his problem is that he gets angry too much and wants to control everything about me but he is very generous . He doesn't even care if I'm sick or not, unlike my former guy who is more caring and always want to pet me.

Now I'm at a cross road because the one here has gone to see my parents and has set a date for the wedding and preparations are on top gear while the one abroad has come back to marry me like he promised. I'm really not happy with the one here because of his attitude and i'm contemplating on running away with the one from abroad because he understands me better.

Please is love enough in marriage?? Help me as your sister

100Cents:


She is actually double dating right now.

With one leg in Nigerian generous guy, one leg abroad with wife beater. Her current relationship is experiencing stress that is always associated with an unfaithful partner. That is why the nice guy is always getting angry.

My dear, I know girls at the back of my palm. Once she submits fully to her fiance, he will stop getting angry with her. Women always call the nice guy a control freak. No be today. The guy is only asking her to remain faithful.

We have gone this road many times..

freecocoa:
You know a few women doesn't mean you know all women, I didn't read the part where she said her fiance complains about her infidelity, plus you don't even know that she's dating the new guy, could be he came back and reached out to her, doesn't mean they are dating, she wants to make a decision based on their relationship before he traveled.

Meanwhile, I just want to clarify that being a control freak or having anger issues has nothing to do with infidelity. If the dude's anger based on her supposed unfaithfulness, I wonder why he wants to marry her.

dossypretty:
It took me so much courage before I could come out here to share my problem.

It all started in 2012 when I met my ex in Lagos and we kicked it off in a relationship but little did I know that he was still keeping a girl he claimed to have left, along the line we started having issues about the same girl to the point of him beating me.

This guy in question was once married but lost his wife after childbirth and so with this my parents refused me marrying him because he was talking about marriage. So after like 10 months he was still treating me bad I decided to quit the relationship but he begged that he will never do it again. Months later he travelled abroad and I also got a job in another city and left.

We still kept in touch but I met another man in the new city and decided to give him a chance. Though this new guy has no child but his problem is that he gets angry too much and wants to control everything about me but he is very generous . He doesn't even care if I'm sick or not, unlike my former guy who is more caring and always want to pet me.

Now I'm at a cross road because the one here has gone to see my parents and has set a date for the wedding and preparations are on top gear while the one abroad has come back to marry me like he promised. I'm really not happy with the one here because of his attitude and i'm contemplating on running away with the one from abroad because he understands me better.

Please is love enough in marriage?? Help me as your sister

Adaeze003:


Uhm... dreams are sometimes what we want to see, other times it's actually our spirit conveying a message. or so I heard.

How do you know you can trust your dreams? Has God spoken via dreams to you before?

Last question, are you happy with this man?

iamord:
the two men are hell all together . and a double edge sword. you go for any one u will have to endure a life of sadness, domestic violence. that's if u don't end up dead.. you need to let your brain speak now. and not your heart. you need a fresh start. if possible a change of location. and a much better person that will love and care for u for who you are will come up. your power of yes and no will play a decisive role now. u should know when to call it a quit. as for me I don't see a future with the two guys you mentioned. God bless u and be with u.

dossypretty:
Yes I believe my dream and I ve conviction about it that is while I decided ti go ahead with the marriage

cap28:
Steer clear of both.

The first one is a playa and an opportunist and does not mean well, he has already shown you a glimpse of what life will be like if you marry him. He is also a potential wife beater which should be a complete deal breaker for any sane woman. It seems as if you have issues with low self esteem.

The second one is emotionally unavailable and also has anger issues which are likely to escalate if he doesn't get his way, marriage to such a man will mean having to suppress who you are and pander to his every need, it will be like walking on eggshells 24/7 - can you live like that? If he doesn't get his way he will take his anger out on you violently, he will expect you to be docile and submissive 24/7 - can you do that?

If he is generous as you say he may lavish you with expensive gifts but you will be starved of actual love and affection - isn't it better to have a man who values and respects you rather than a cold distant and emotionless man?

If you marry guy no 1 your life will be filled with misery and pain but you will not fare much better with guy no 2, the main difference is that guy no 2 may provide you with a more comfortable lifestyle - you are young and attractive wait for a good man who will place you on a pedestal and value you - the choice is yours.

janny89:
My dear am also in the same mess with u I decided nt to marry any of them.