keppyy:
Yes, christain missions

Sorry for the late response

How do you want to combine Christian Missions and business?

Can you expatiate a bit?

bukatyne:


Pastor Bellong

"Pastoress" Bukatyne.....

bukatyne:


Sorry for the late response

How do you want to combine Christian Missions and business?

Can you expatiate a bit?

Business full-time and Missions Part-time...

This will involve a lot of travelling...

I'm sick, I can't type much...


To Everybody, what will cause a girl of 22years old to have a blood pressure of (158/99), it was repeated for about 7times with different machines...

ikechizoba:
thnx alot dear,i do feel alot better now, i got pregnant immediately after our wedding,so dats y it feels so bad for me cos i always want him to b perfect,to always fit in,to b d man i hv always dreamt of being with,d funy tin is wen am asked to point out d main problem,i dont seem to find any,instead i start pointing out d lil faults i can grab and making a big deal out of them

Why digging a grave you can't enter? Why finding fault where there's none? If you succeed in making him bitter, you won't like the turn of things..How will digging out his faults help you?? It will only make you sad and miserable.. He may be enduring all your nagging now but he won't endure it for long especially when it's done for no reason as in this case.. Don't destroy your family with your own hands... No one is perfect, Focus on his good attitudes..

Also, I think your behavior is as a result of some resentments you hold towards him, please get them off your mind or talk it over with him.. Show him the love he deserves, stop making life hard for him, support him... Since you are aware of what you are doing, it can be controlled, not like you are oblivious of your character.. All the best

keppyy:




Business full-time and Missions Part-time...

This will involve a lot of travelling...

I'm sick, I can't type much...


To Everybody, what will cause a girl of 22years old to have a blood pressure of (158/99), it was repeated for about 7times with different machines...

Sorry

High BP? Are you overstressed? Worried about something? Doing too strenuous activities?

It is well

Will discuss later

bellong:


"Pastoress" Bukatyne.....

EfemenaXY:


Grin and bear eh? For how long? Till he puts you six feet under?

You're walking on eggshells, afraid to breathe around him and you console yourself with phrases such as, "nothing like a perfect relationship"? He's got you exactly where he wants and you don't even realise it, or that you're gradually fading into oblivion.

You'll soon be no different to a piece of furniture in your own home. Blending into the woodwork.

thank u for ur advise,I'm trying to give it a try,dis time around,if it doesn't work out,I'm out of the relationship

EfemenaXY:


Speak for yourself, honey.

The men in my life + the ones I know are nothing like what you've described.

Be bold enough to admit that due to fear, lack of self-confidence, and low esteem, you've sold yourself short with the mindset that physical abuse and domestic violence are the norm and should be expected in a marriage.

sorry,I dnt problem with any men,I'm just telling u frm what I hear and see,most men re irresponsible dis days,those one responsible re nt much,so did I ever tell u,I had problem with d men in my life

keppyy:






I'm sick, I can't type much...


To Everybody, what will cause a girl of 22years old to have a blood pressure of (158/99), it was repeated for about 7times with different machines...

Are u pregnant?
Young people can have HBP too.There is the hereditary factor.
You need to look at what may be causing yours now.Are you stressed?Did you recently suffer a loss or heartbreak?
If you check your blood pressure again and it is still high,go to a hospital.

bukatyne:


Amen dear

Hold on...

When you remember that marriage is ideally for a lifetime, a wait of 1 - 2yrs becomes 'short'

Thanks dear. God bless.

thorpido:
Are u pregnant?
Young people can have HBP too.There is the hereditary factor.
You need to look at what may be causing yours now.Are you stressed?Did you recently suffer a loss or heartbreak?
If you check your blood pressure again and it is still high,go to a hospital.

I'm not pregnant......I'm definitely sure about this...

I'm not stressed...

My Parents don't have HBP...

Nope....I'm not Heartbroken...

But I'll admit I've been thinking a lot..

Herzumpther

You said your dad has some Yoruba friends.If you know any couple that are responsible,you could go talk to them about your situation and they can have some word with your dad.
I also want you to talk to your fiance about the situation.

I hope you have done your homework concerning him and you are sure he meets up to that standard of a responsible guy.I wouldn't want you disappointed.You sound like a good girl.

keppyy:


I'm not pregnant......I'm definitely sure about this...

I'm not stressed...

My Parents don't have HBP...

Nope....I'm not Heartbroken...

But I'll admit I've been thinking a lot..

What on earth are you thinking about?

You are damn too young for the consequences of overstressed brain and mind.

keppyy:


I'm not pregnant......I'm definitely sure about this...

I'm not stressed...

My Parents don't have HBP...

Nope....I'm not Heartbroken...

But I'll admit I've been thinking a lot..

Whatever it is that you have been thinking a lot about,you should get it off your chest.If it is something you can share here,do and people here will help you with it or you find someone you can talk too.
A BP of 158/99 is not good for your age.

EfemenaXY:


This explains why you feel the way you do towards the opposite sex.

Societal view doesn't help much either as anything to do with abuse is usually shrouded in secrecy (cloak and dagger stuff). I honestly don't know what to say or advice to give as this is totally out of my depth. But I do agree with Babyosisi & Moca that facing this square on is the first step towards the healing process.

I don't know about confronting the lady who took advantage of you as a child, but I do think you should seek professional help on how to tackle this.

It is well, my brother.

I think I now see the clear picture and I am convinced its the cause. I never for once took it serious before now.
I also bottled everything and never mentioned it to my friends. I'm now ready to tackle it heads on.

I called my mum yesterday, I still find it difficult to tell her; I dont think I would ever tell her. I just asked about the lady and she found it strange. I dont think I would have the effrontery to confront her not even through a phone conversation but I'll just have to put it down a diary as Aunty Babyosisi advised.
There is this yoruba saying that "When God has shown you the source of your problem, it is no longer a problem". I'll just have to deal with it and seek Professional help.
I'm saying a Big Thank You sister!

bellong:


What on earth are you thinking about?

You are damn too young for the consequences of overstressed brain and mind.

Random stuffs...

It's a fault I have, if there's a bomb-blast...I think

I'm bored...I think

What next...I think


I'm an "over-thinker".

Big Question: How do I stop thinking?

*sorry for derailing*

bukatyne:


You are still very young.

Why can't you both wait a year?

That way you would have gotten some savings (upto N100K if not more) and you would be able to contribute to building your new home in addition to whatever your parents can afford.

It would also help your parents prepare more for the wedding (You are the first child getting married and they want it to be 'big'). Both parents support your marriage, it is just the timing that is an issue to them.

I get your point but honestly,waiting might not be favorable to us. He is based in Benin city while I,in Lagos. He manages a company,so you can imagine how busy he is daytime.and my parents wouldn't buy the idea of me paying him a visit while we aren't yet married cos they have given me only one opportunity and I have exhausted it.

keppyy:


Random stuffs...

It's a fault I have, if there's a bomb-blast...I think

I'm bored...I think

What next...I think


I'm an "over-thinker".

Big Question: How do I stop thinking?

*sorry for derailing*

LOL @ Over-thinker...

Do you let stuffs go easily? After thinking it through and it fails/no way forward

Remember you cannot control all situations...

I over-imagine stuffs and start planning on something I have not seen... I can imagine myself how I want to be at a party/ceremony etc. and always I never get it (BUT I throw away the worry after a while)

I guess it's the throwing away that helps me

Blessed is the day Nairaland was born!
Blessed is the day I find this website!
Blessed is the day I stumbled upon this thread!
God bless Seun!
God Bless Babyosisi!
God Bless Bukatyne!
God Bless Moca!
God Bless EfemenaXY!
God Bless myself too!
And most of all, God Bless the Internet!
Thank God for Technology!

Okay, After thinking..I've got it.

I'm working in a hospital and it's really affecting me.

I think, too many sad news...It's clogging my brain..

And I think I've lost my mojo...

MercyMercy:

I get your point but honestly,waiting might not be favorable to us. He is based in Benin city while I,in Lagos. He manages a company,so you can imagine how busy he is daytime.and my parents wouldn't buy the idea of me paying him a visit while we aren't yet married cos they have given me only one opportunity and I have exhausted it.

Unfavorable how?

If it is a long distance relationship, how have you both gotten to know yourselves so far?

Can't he come over a weekend? He can get 2 days leave 2wks/ 1 month in advance to see you (depending on his Company's policy)

Please do not be in a rush

bukatyne:


LOL @ Over-thinker...

Do you let stuffs go easily? After thinking it through and it fails/no way forward

Remember you cannot control all situations...

I over-imagine stuffs and start planning on something I have not seen... I can imagine myself how I want to be at a party/ceremony etc. and always I never get it (BUT I throw away the worry after a while)

I guess it's the throwing away that helps me

Are you sure you're not my twineeee?

You totally understand.

Ummmhhhh...I let things go anyway but more thoughts keep coming.

keppyy:



Big Question: How do I stop thinking?

*sorry for derailing*

Hmmm... The only way to stop thinking is to Stop thinking......

First accept that you are human and some situations are beyond your control, so worry wouldn't solve any problem.

After thinking/worry and you see it is something you can't help, flush your mind and move on....

Don't burden your mind with trivial issues, life is too short to worry over the unknown.

keppyy:


Are you sure you're not my twineeee?

You totally understand.

Ummmhhhh...I let things go anyway but more thoughts keep coming.

Lols, they will keep coming

You have an hyperactive imagination... very good, would make you a good writer/public speaker

This patient is fine and you are worried about the next one...

I know how many stories I have turned in my mind; how I worry about someone's actions before meeting the person... How I imagine the next step before even starting...

Biko, your BP must come down

Will try to attach something now

Modified..

Done, check the link at my signature

bellong:


Hmmm... The only way to stop thinking is to Stop thinking......

First accept that you are human and some situations are beyond your control, so worry wouldn't solve any problem.

After thinking/worry and you see it is something you can't help, flush your mind and move on....

Don't burden your mind with trivial issues, life is too short to worry over the unknown.

How about my mojo?

I use to over analyse and over think situations. My help came in the form of a theory called " The Law of Attraction" This theory states that we what we think about the most because our thoughts are energy. It like saying if you think negative thoughts then it is like asking god to answer these thoughts. So the problem doesn't lay in the thinking but rather what your thinking about. So when you think positive thoughts you will attract positive feelings people and situations because that's what your sending out. So the theory goes like attacks like. I hope that makes sense hunny. I found this book called
" The Magic" by Rhonda Byrne. This books puts you on a 28day course on Gratitude. What this done for me was tha I was able to control my thoughts. Now if a negative thought intrudes my mind I can identify it and stop it in it's tracks. Whereas in the past I use to ride that negative thought and ride til I had panic attacks and anxiety. So basically thinking is no problem it's what you're thinkin that is the problem. I hope this helps I mean well.

keppyy:

Random stuffs...
It's a fault I have, if there's a bomb-blast...I think
I'm bored...I think
What next...I think
I'm an "over-thinker".
Big Question: How do I stop thinking?
*sorry for derailing*

keppyy:


How about my mojo?

Your mojo? You do Por.no?

Just a joke....

You want to get you vibes back right?

Dimples192:


I use to over analyse and over think situations. My help came in the form of a theory called " The Law of Attraction" This theory states that we what we think about the most because our thoughts are energy. It like saying if you think negative thoughts then it is like asking god to answer these thoughts. So the problem doesn't lay in the thinking but rather what your thinking about. So when you think positive thoughts you will attract positive feelings people and situations because that's what your sending out. So the theory goes like attacks like. I hope that makes sense hunny. I found this book called
" The Magic" by Rhonda Byrne. This books puts you on a 28day course on Gratitude. What this done for me was tha I was able to control my thoughts. Now if a negative thought intrudes my mind I can identify it and stop it in it's tracks. Whereas in the past I use to ride that negative thought and ride til I had panic attacks and anxiety. So basically thinking is no problem it's what you're thinkin that is the problem. I hope this helps I mean well.

Wow!!!

This is really great...

Thank you a lot...

bellong:


Your mojo? You do Por.no?

Just a joke....

You want to get you vibes back right?

Yup...
I'm not attracted to men anymore...

FOREXMARTS:



Is this coming from a woman? +100 likes for you, I tried in all my comments to stay away from these part of the advice so I don't sound biassed but good a thing you raised it.

@shiningmama I having this feeling in me that tells me you still have an ace and joker card you haven't played out yet, now is the time for you to play em, go to the drawing board and come up with a game plan, even without you being able to divulge info on ur husband's character(which I understand) well let's still look for solution. Make I go read ur thread now.

A pleasant morning all you wonderful ladies.

tanx for understanding what I really meant,I hate broken marriages or single parenting,my mum is divorced and a single mother,the thing dat I hate about dis is the fact dat,she can't talk to my younger brothers,they will never listen to her,there is always confusion in d house,no understanding,okay,lemme make an example,my younger brother was going to a birthday bash,my mum suppose to tell him nt to go,bt she just kept mute to avoid disgrace by him at d midst of his friends,on his way coming back home frm the birthday bash,some thugs came up to him,with him being drunk and rude,they beat d daylight out of him and use broken bottle to stab him 3 places at d back,he was all covered in blood,imagine us all about to sleep at the dead of the night,some women came rushing banging our gates dat my brother ve been stabbed,if u see,my mother almost got hypertension dat day crying,on reaching there,she start lamenting ,to cut the whole story short,she spent a good amount of money at d hospital with her nt having the chance to go to her shop,as yoruba always say,enii bimo oran ni o pon,like if my father is still with my mother,he will ve a iron hand to train those boys which they will never go d wrong path,our last born-she is vry rude,she dnt knw how to talk to elders,bt when I tell mymum about dis ehn,she will insult me and ever her daughter also joining in to insult me,which she will never tell her to stop,which if I beat her,it will cause trouble for me infront of her(mum),so on my two younger brothers,they behave the way they like becos mum never ve d action to tell them she dnt want dis in her house,the one dat got stabbed love partying,the other one,my immediate is vry rude and proud,talks to me anyhow,irrespective dat I'm d elder,and even d so called manfriend of my mum( a married man which d wife never knw her husband is sleeping with another woman outside there)will come to our house to sleep with my mum which d guy is nt even okay than my mum,and I'm suspecting mummy giving him money,so with all dis ,I see single parenting as rubbish,I prayed never to be in one,I want a father dat will join in with me to train d children in a good way,so society won't abuse us tomorrow,u see my dear,the pain of being d first born,and what I seen,go through while I was young,was it my father beating my mum,or the fact dat,my father will be insulting my mum,then she will reply back,and it leads to him beating her,sometimes my dad will kept silent and my mum will be insulting him,being vry aggressive which will later leads to beating,I dnt pray to ve my mothers character,becos of all the wahala ,my father went to marry another woman ,she ve kids for him,and its dis vry woman daat throw my mum and d kids outside d house,my dad and mum were married before I left home for south africa,bt me being there for three years,I heard they were no more living together(divorced)and then I came to visit frm south and came into my mum house,then I noticed all my younger siblings to be vry rude and saucy,which they dnt ve respect for each other,though I love my mum,bt I dnt pray to ever be a single mama,becos the pain and the calamity there,it just takes the grace of God to help someone out,so I never want my life to also be ruled out like dis,even if its for me to behave myself with my husband for the future of my kids,I won't mind,and as u can see,though we fight,and he physically abuse me,we still love each other,seriously,me and him can't help it being away frm each other,if its me nagging him dat makes him beat me,I'm gonna stop dat

keppyy:


Yup...
I'm not attracted to men anymore...

So you were once attracted?

What happened?

keppyy:
Okay, After thinking..I've got it.

I'm working in a hospital and it's really affecting me.

I think, too many sad news...It's clogging my brain..

And I think I've lost my mojo...

I work in a hospital too.I understand how that environment can affect your psyche.You need to engage in activities outside of hospital work.Go to cinemas or recreational centers.
You also need to know that thoughts will come but dwelling on the wrong thoughts is what the problem is.Instead consciously superimpose positive thoughts on those thoughts.Be ready and willing to let go of some things that are beyond your control.