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★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ - Family - Nairaland

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★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 7:24am On Feb 20, 2015
A lady friend accepted to marry someone and the man and his people came for introduction (wine carrying)
After a year she lost interest and wish not to marry him again with an excuse that he is a minister. The man has been the sole sponsor of her education and other financial needs of her family. During the days of their courtship they always pray together and one of the topic they prayed at the alter of the church was "Blessings will be upon whosoever wishes them good and curses upon whosoever wishes them to separate "

I thought really hard before it got to me that she might be cursing herself

My question s are :

Will the curse work against her and if it does, is there any remedy?

Is it good to collect money from someone you don't want to marry?

I need mature advice because she will read it also.
No insult please

Good morning!!!!
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by asadike(f): 8:33am On Feb 20, 2015
Yes o. D curse will work against her with immediate effect. Karma is a bitch. I believe marriage entails patience coz she myt go out there only to face d worse. Pls let her pray seriously o
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by Nobody: 8:58am On Feb 20, 2015
nellyme:
A lady friend accepted to marry someone and the man and his people came for introduction (wine carrying)
After a year she lost interest and wish not to marry him again with an excuse that he is a minister. The man has been the sole sponsor of her education and other financial needs of her family. During the days of their courtship they always pray together and one of the topic they prayed at the alter of the church was "Blessings will be upon whosoever wishes them good and curses upon whosoever wishes them to separate "

I thought really hard before it got to me that she might be cursing herself

My question s are :

Will the curse work against her and if it does, is there any remedy?

Is it good to collect money from someone you don't want to marry?

I need mature advice because she will read it also.
No insult please

Good morning!!!!

I have a diferent stance on this . . . . . and it is that substantial amounts money should not be changing hands between couples before they marry
Gifts, yes
But schoolfees, paying rent, buying aso ebi for parents, painting parents house etc are not on my list
First it beclouds judgement and whoever is receiving the money may not really be into you but is just there becasue of your money
Secondly the person who is doing the spending feels "used" if the relationship breaks up

Back to the topic, Not all ladies want to marry ministers. Its not easy bieing a pastors wife and in a way, its best that a pastors wife is someone who really knows what the role involves and really wants to be a ministers wife. Not everyone is cut out for that or has the skills to be able to function as a good pastors wife and be supportive to the husband and the congregation

Secondly as unpalatable as it may be, if a partner knows that a marriage will not work, its better to cancel the wedding than go ahead with it and then suffer a lifetime of regret.

As for the curses, what silly prayers are those. Pray and curse in the same sentence. Na wa.

In short her excuse is acceptable, but she is a bad person for stringing the man along and taking his money, knowing well that he was a minister from the oneset and she had no intention of marrying him. So yes, she will reap what she sowed

Men too should stop "buyng" women with money. A man worth his salt and who can stand on his own in integrity & character does not need to buy any woman.

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Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by crackhaus: 1:24pm On Feb 20, 2015
Did she suddenly lose interest because he is a minister or because one fast guy on the side has begun filling her gullible head with sentiments and pipe dreams?

That aside, let her do whatever the hell she wants. Clearly she's not afraid of curses and what-not, it's the man I pity in all of this. . .what a tool.

1 Like

Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by Nobody: 1:34pm On Feb 20, 2015
If she marries him its because she is afraid of curses then he may have to put up with bad attitude from her for the length of their married lives. I hope he will not settle for a hard marriage just because of the investment he should consider this an investment gone bad and move on. They can pray for each others marital success same way they were cursing "anyone" against their marital dreams.

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Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by KanwuliaJara: 2:09pm On Feb 20, 2015
Curses are mere words.
Love is not by force.
If she is no longer interested, she has the right to move on.
Honesty is the best policy!

Sponsoring her education and all that do not make her a personal slave or property! kiss

4 Likes

Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by mutter(f): 8:38pm On Feb 20, 2015
It is sometimes not what you do but how you do it.
She and her family need to plead with the man for his understanding and to apopogise.
That is the ecent thing to do.
He will be angry but what it is the decent thing to do.

Anyway the reason is somehow very shallow. Did she not know that he was religious inclined.
I just don`t understand the reason.

If she is given him back the poposal, let her try and refund the money taken.
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by SAMBARRY: 8:44pm On Feb 20, 2015
Gbam



KanwuliaJara:
Curses are mere words.
Love is not by force.
If she is no longer interested, she has the right to move on.
Honesty is the best policy!

Sponsoring her education and all that do not make her a personal slave or property! kiss

Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by baralatie(m): 9:30pm On Feb 20, 2015
chaircover:


I have a diferent stance on this . . . . . and it is that substantial amounts money should not be changing hands between couples before they marry
Gifts, yes
But schoolfees, paying rent, buying aso ebi for parents, painting parents house etc are not on my list
First it beclouds judgement and whoever is receiving the money may not really be into you but is just there becasue of your money
Secondly the person who is doing the spending feels "used" if the relationship breaks up

Back to the topic, Not all ladies want to marry ministers. Its not easy bieing a pastors wife and in a way, its best that a pastors wife is someone who really knows what the role involves and really wants to be a ministers wife. Not everyone is cut out for that or has the skills to be able to function as a good pastors wife and be supportive to the husband and the congregation

Secondly as unpalatable as it may be, if a partner knows that a marriage will not work, its better to cancel the wedding than go ahead with it and then suffer a lifetime of regret.

As for the curses, what silly prayers are those. Pray and curse in the same sentence. Na wa.

In short her excuse is acceptable, but she is a bad person for stringing the man along and taking his money, knowing well that he was a minister from the oneset and she had no intention of marrying him. So yes, she will reap what she sowed

Men too should stop "buyng" women with money. A man worth his salt and who can stand on his own in integrity & character does not need to buy any woman.
it is now that the woman realise that the moneybag is a minister there is more to this.
but can't women just reject money in the first place!
it can save problems!
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by baralatie(m): 9:54pm On Feb 20, 2015
nellyme:
A lady friend accepted to marry someone and the man and his people came for introduction (wine carrying)
After a year she lost interest and wish not to marry him again with an excuse that he is a minister. The man has been the sole sponsor of her education and other financial needs of her family. During the days of their courtship they always pray together and one of the topic they prayed at the alter of the church was "Blessings will be upon whosoever wishes them good and curses upon whosoever wishes them to separate "

I thought really hard before it got to me that she might be cursing herself

My question s are :

Will the curse work against her and if it does, is there any remedy?

Is it good to collect money from someone you don't want to marry?

I need mature advice because she will read it also.
No insult please
Good morning!!!!
well
let me put it this way!what if it was the other way round,will it be fair to all parties concerned.
what is it that changed?
is there something that she saw in the man that she can not tell someone else!
or is there another man she feels she is better married to!
the excuse of not liking to be a ministers' wife does not hold because virtually 90% of the present top men of Faith wives never planned to be Ministers' wives.At least Pa Adeboye never dreamt about being a minister(He wanted to be a don).

Now it is not a crime to help another person through school,get a job etc.it is a better deal,seeing another person progress in life.

but when there is a fraudulent attempt the demise another persons resource to forge ahead over time(that is one trouble on its own)

then over years of courtship to the point of introduction.two individuals bind themselves with prayers of curses and blessings.

the two should sit down and settle there differences and misgivings SERIOUSLY.
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 1:23am On Feb 21, 2015
asadike:
Yes o. D curse will work against her with immediate effect. Karma is a bitch. I believe marriage entails patience coz she myt go out there only to face d worse. Pls let her pray seriously o

ok thanks for your contribution
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 1:26am On Feb 21, 2015
chaircover:


I have a diferent stance on this . . . . . and it is that substantial amounts money should not be changing hands between couples before they marry
Gifts, yes
But schoolfees, paying rent, buying aso ebi for parents, painting parents house etc are not on my list
First it beclouds judgement and whoever is receiving the money may not really be into you but is just there becasue of your money
Secondly the person who is doing the spending feels "used" if the relationship breaks up

Back to the topic, Not all ladies want to marry ministers. Its not easy bieing a pastors wife and in a way, its best that a pastors wife is someone who really knows what the role involves and really wants to be a ministers wife. Not everyone is cut out for that or has the skills to be able to function as a good pastors wife and be supportive to the husband and the congregation

Secondly as unpalatable as it may be, if a partner knows that a marriage will not work, its better to cancel the wedding than go ahead with it and then suffer a lifetime of regret.

As for the curses, what silly prayers are those. Pray and curse in the same sentence. Na wa.

In short her excuse is acceptable, but she is a bad person for stringing the man along and taking his money, knowing well that he was a minister from the oneset and she had no intention of marrying him. So yes, she will reap what she sowed

Men too should stop "buyng" women with money. A man worth his salt and who can stand on his own in integrity & character does not need to buy any woman.


you just nailed the hammer to the cross
thanks, I believe this will go a long way to teach both parties the way forward
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 1:29am On Feb 21, 2015
crackhaus:
Did she suddenly lose interest because he is a minister or because one fast guy on the side has begun filling her gullible head with sentiments and pipe dreams?

That aside, let her do whatever the hell she wants. Clearly she's not afraid of curses and what-not, it's the man I pity in all off this. . .what a tool.

He was in love and doing it with the mindset that she is the right one, I really don't blame him because he took care of her and never wanted her to lack anything whatsoever
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 1:30am On Feb 21, 2015
andromida:
If she marries him its because she is afraid of curses then he may have to put up with bad attitude from her for the length of their married lives. I hope he will not settle for a hard marriage just because of the investment he should consider this an investment gone bad and move on. They can pray for each others marital success same way they were cursing "anyone" against their marital dreams.

ok thanks
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 1:34am On Feb 21, 2015
KanwuliaJara:
Curses are mere words.
Love is not by force.
If she is no longer interested, she has the right to move on.
Honesty is the best policy!

Sponsoring her education and all that do not make her a personal slave or property! kiss

love is not by force quite. alright
but deceit is a sin before God and man
she knew him very well before saying yes and accepting his people in her home
why suddenly the excuse of him being a minister
its uncalled for.
thanks for contributing
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 1:37am On Feb 21, 2015
mutter:
It is sometimes not what you do but how you do it.
She and her family need to plead with the man for his understanding and to apopogise.
That is the ecent thing to do.
He will be angry but what it is the decent thing to do.

Anyway the reason is somehow very shallow. Did she not know that he was religious inclined.
I just don`t understand the reason.

If she is given him back the poposal, let her try and refund the money taken.



my dear I also don't understand her flimsy excuse
anyways she and her people need to ask for forgiveness, I support you on that
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 1:41am On Feb 21, 2015
baralatie:

it is now that the woman realise that the moneybag is a minister there is more to this.
but can't women just reject money in the first place!
it can save problems!


supported, ladies should say no sometimes to some things
everyday no be o yes members day
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 1:44am On Feb 21, 2015
baralatie:

well
let me put it this way!what if it was the other way round,will it be fair to all parties concerned.
what is it that changed?
is there something that she saw in the man that she can not tell someone else!
or is there another man she feels she is better married to!
the excuse of not liking to be a ministers' wife does not hold because virtually 90% of the present top men of Faith wives never planned to be Ministers' wives.At least Pa Adeboye never dreamt about being a minister(He wanted to be a don).

Now it is not a crime to help another person through school,get a job etc.it is a better deal,seeing another person progress in life.

but when there is a fraudulent attempt the demise another persons resource to forge ahead over time(that is one trouble on its own)

then over years of courtship to the point of introduction.two individuals bind themselves with prayers of curses and blessings.

the two should sit down and settle there differences and misgivings SERIOUSLY.


well the girl is not accepting that she did anything wrong, she really think light of the whole issue. my idea of this is to create awareness to her and to ladies out there, be watchful of the kind of covenants you enter into
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by Nobody: 8:04am On Feb 21, 2015
Why the sudden change of stance,was ashe not aware he's a minister before?

The lady in question is not telling the truth,using the excuse of being a minister is too watery..

Never smell what you won't eat.
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 12:41pm On Feb 21, 2015
Yomieluv:
Why the sudden change of stance,was ashe not aware he's a minister before?

The lady in question is not telling the truth,using the excuse of being a minister is too watery..

Never smell what you won't eat.

she was aware and I guess she really isn't telling me the whole truth
but I cant do anything else
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by baralatie(m): 6:29pm On Feb 21, 2015
nellyme:


well the girl is not accepting that she did anything wrong, she really think light of the whole issue. my idea of this is to create awareness to her and to ladies out there, be watchful of the kind of covenants you enter into
trust me on ladies in this category!
there is a big secret she is not letting out!
there is a very simple reason for her decision and she wants a clean brake from this relationship!


but without settling with her consenting vows with her consenting husband to be.she better pray she does not run into a consistent love changeover ratio!
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 7:59pm On Feb 21, 2015
proper awareness of this fact is needed
we make mistakes of this kind daily, let us share ideas to eradicate mistakes in marriage
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by Ewuro4: 8:12pm On Feb 21, 2015
What she did was wrong, she sounds selfish and greedy. Even mere judge Judy undecided will make her refund every penny spent on her education & introduction. She's a thief. But the Nigerian justice system is crap so everybody get away with everything, not even a slap on the wrist. That's why their spouse kill them. Failed system Altogether.

That being said,

She has every right to change her mind afterall they aren't married proper yet. A failed relationship is far more better than a miserable married life.

They both should Just take a walk and move on, Love is not by force oh
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 10:52pm On Feb 21, 2015
Ewuro4:
What she did was wrong, she sounds selfish and greedy. Even mere judge Judy undecided will make her refund every penny spent on her education & introduction. She's a thief. But the Nigerian justice system is crap so everybody get away with everything, not even a slap on the wrist. That's why their spouse kill them. Failed system Altogether.

That being said,

She has every right to change her mind afterall they aren't married proper yet. A failed relationship is far more better than a miserable married life.

They both should Just take a walk and move on, Love is not by force oh


thanks for the wonderful saying
I pray they heed to the advice
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 10:54pm On Feb 21, 2015
.........
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by KanwuliaJara: 10:54pm On Feb 21, 2015
nellyme:


love is not by force quite. alright
but deceit is a sin before God and man
she knew him very well before saying yes and accepting his people in her home
why suddenly the excuse of him being a minister
its uncalled for.
thanks for contributing

Well, the last time I checked. . . it is still a free world.
Changing one's mind is always a choice, regardless of the reasons.
I don't have a problem with it o.
She is the one dating the 'minister'. . . not you or I.
Simple. kiss

1 Like

Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 11:00pm On Feb 21, 2015
KanwuliaJara:


Well, the last time I checked. . . it is still a free world.
Changing one's mind is always a choice, regardless of the reasons.
I don't have a problem with it o.
She is the one dating the 'minister'. . . not you or I.
Simple. kiss

dats TRUE shaaa
but we shouldn't take advantage of the freedom to put others in distress
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by KanwuliaJara: 10:02am On Feb 23, 2015
nellyme:


dats TRUE shaaa
but we shouldn't take advantage of the freedom to put others in distress

So, it is better to be the one in self-distress abi? undecided
Oh nooooooo.
Never sacrifice your wellbeing for the happiness of others.
Look where it got JESUS CHRIST?
Nowhere fast! cheesy
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 4:06pm On Feb 23, 2015
KanwuliaJara:


So, it is better to be the one in self-distress abi? undecided
Oh nooooooo.
Never sacrifice your wellbeing for the happiness of others.
Look where it got JESUS CHRIST?
Nowhere fast! cheesy

my Jesus got nothing to do with this
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 4:07pm On Feb 23, 2015
more contributions please
Re: ★★★ Advice Needed Urgently ★★★ by nellyme(f): 5:58am On Feb 28, 2015

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