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Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? - Culture (10) - Nairaland

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Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by waternogetemeny: 4:49pm On Feb 22, 2015
whatx:


If na your sister you go prefer her to marry Charles Okafor instead?

Igbo's are wise, no doubt.

Just like the fulani will prefer a mohammed and the yorubas will prefer an Adewale.

If anything too many of my sisters are married outside their tribe. We are not proud of dat.





sleekangel85:

A Yoruba guy dated my blood sister for 15 years only for him to wake up one morning and remember that he promised his late father to marry from there tribe. My sister was 35 years old then but did we see it as a Yoruba thing? The answer is NO. It was an individual thing.

As God is my witness 6 of my cousins married outside our tribes and it was not a big deal. My elder brother married from edo and it is still not a big deal. If the flesh of my flesh is an Hausa girl I will marry her...

As I said earlier it is an individual thing

Am from anambra state.


bigfrancis21:


There are several Igbo ladies that dated Yoruba guys only to get dumped by the guy for a fellow Yoruba lady. Such happen constantly. These ladies didn't cry foul, they moved on with life. One particular Igbo lady I know is in her 40s today and single because she was dating a Yoruba guy in her early 30s for 4 years who promised her marriage, she was happy that she was finally going to get married and her prayer to have a husband was finally answered, only for the guy's mother to reject her because she is Igbo and her son followed his mother's advice. At 36 she was single and dumped, older with fewer prospects of marriage. Now she's in her 40s and she still isn't married yet.

I don't condone tribalism, whatsoever. What happened between the Igbo guy and girl happens constantly within Igbos, Yorubas and Hausas. Some Igbo people date only to separate years after. Same for Hausas and Yorubas. It happens steadily. It isn't unique if that happens between people of different tribes. It all depends on the guy. If he really wants it to happen, it would happen, believe me.

Now, answer me honestly. Had this guy in question been a Yoruba guy, for example, about to dump the girl, say an Igbo girl, would you have opened this very thread in the first place questioning why Yorubas prefer to marry Yorubas?



vivalavida(m): 3:43pm On Feb 22
Dont mind them. 3 yoruba men dumped clarion chukwura and we didnt make any noise. Because no one is proposing to her abi her friend,she is creating a thread

Do u know how many igbo women have been married and divorced to yoruba men after first pregnancy? Even Tonto Dikeh was recently dumped for a yoruba wife by a yoruba man. Every tribe prefers their own just want to do the dirty on the other tribe if unaware.
Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Sunnybobo3(m): 4:49pm On Feb 22, 2015
Jamean:
OMG...had same experience. 2anambra & 3abia chicks with only me the other tribe. I just really had to change room at a point, when earpiece no longer worked.

But I was careful not to be at loggerheads with them for that reason. They are still my distant friends today, and I learnt some Igbo from them.


And what do you think would have happened if an Igbo babe found herself with 2 Ogun and 2 Ekiti chics?

6 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Jamean(f): 4:49pm On Feb 22, 2015
Gracias.

My family at large have reservations (I don't know where it came from) about marrying from a particular tribe, to the extent that a cousin who had dated a guy from that tribe for 10years was not allowed to marry him.

I just said 10years, not 4,5 or 7. She's unmarried since '08.

We've been sounded this warning from childhood so I don't even bother taking the road when I won't get to the end point. As I do not support marrying without parental approval.

People should be wise.

Ishilove:
'Clannishness is not restricted to a single tribe. It's a general thing.

The issue is dating a person you have no interest in marrying. Why date someone you can't envision a future with? If you know your folks won't accept people from a certain tribe then why date such people?? It is the height of callousness. You waste their time, resources and emotions etc and still end up dumping them.

It's like dating a non-Christian when you know your folks will not accept a non-Christian. That's wickedness.

And don't give me that 'love is blind' crap. The love of nowadays is wearing long range field lens.

Tribalism is part and parcel of our human relations. It's called 'sub-conscious ethnic identification'. While I don't support it, let's make life less complicated for ourselves. If you know your folks will not accept someone from a certain tribe, then try as much as possible not to bring sorrow on yourself and others. Nip it at the bud.

If you can't help the love, if the love has consumed the both of you completely then elope. Or marry without your parents approval/blessings, though I wouldn't advice this (I will not be held responsible for whatever kasala you encounter when you elope. O.Y.O grin).
Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by sherbol: 4:49pm On Feb 22, 2015
D op was asking abt Anambra man marrying an Anambra woman n not Igbo man marrying Igbo woman.
bigfrancis21:


Igbo bashing has become quite a common thing in Nigeria such that it has become normal to bash Igbo on every single thing, even on things that are meaningless.

You created this thread to ask why Igbo prefer to marry from their tribe. Are you really serious? This is a question you opened this thread for looking for 'answers'? Would you have opened this very thread in the first place had a Yoruba or Hausa guy been the one who preferred to marry from their tribe? Yes or No? Why would a Yoruba parent reject a non-yoruba suitor, and that will not be an issue. In fact, such action is justified. A Hausa parent will do the same and no dust will be raised about it. But when an Igbo parent does the same, then its a big deal. It is a serious issue that calls for serious attention and criticism, then you begin to get tags like ''Igbos are 'tribalistic'', 'they are 'selfish'', it is an 'Igbo problem' e.t.c. Minor issues that aren't issues when done by other tribes become a serious issue when Igbo is involved.

I look around me, majority Ibibios marry within the Ibibio tribe, majority Hausas marry within Hausa, Yoruba within Yoruba, why should the Igbo marrying within themselves even be a question in the first place? Despite the level of inter marriage between whites and blacks here in the US, majority whites marry within whites, chinese within chinese, blacks within blacks, and you're going to sit there and tell me that it is a problem when Igbos prefer to marry Igbos?? Like seriously??

I get your point about love being the most important factor between 2 people from different tribes and there are marriages between Igbo men and non-Igbo women however majority Igbos don't need to look outside for love when they can find it within themselves. The same love you mentioned as important, Igbo men get it from within the tribe. Why look outside? What about culture preservation and values? Why should Igbo preferring to marry from within even be an issue in the first place when other tribes are doing the same? Is the creation of this thread even justified in the first place?

Tomorrow you're going to open another thread asking 'Why do Igbo people speak Igbo?' Like seriously??
Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Notyourb1tch(f): 4:51pm On Feb 22, 2015
This thread has a lot of generalisations.

My dad is from Anambra and he went on to marry a woman who is not even from the same tribe and even country as him. He married a Ghanaian

People generally marry who they understand and are comfortable with. It's not just limited to Igbos or Nigerians but Chinese, Indian etc. It's normal. However as can be seen by myself, Anambra men can marry outside their tribe if they really love you and you have all the qualities they want in a spouse.

My dad is the best man I know. I am proud to be from Anambra. Beautiful rich culture and people.

Igbo Kwenu cheesy cheesy

8 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Locapito(m): 4:51pm On Feb 22, 2015
squaddy:


This is the same excuse your lazy father gave his dirty slut(who happens to be your mother) when every igbo male around him were climbing the ladder of success. Clearly you are following his foot step. Way to go imp!!
your fellow igbos from other state confirmed it fof me. I also dated an Anambra lady for close to two years and told me point blank that we re just razzling that nothing will comes out of it. Why? She said i should just enjoy it till when it last cos, she can't marry from outside anambra and its their best kept secret in order to protect the secret of the man's wealth from outsiders. Ask ur bondaged mother about ur father's ritual wealth, u'll be be shocked to ur marrow concerning the revealation. Bunch of ritualists.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by laudate: 4:52pm On Feb 22, 2015
Franchise21:
As an Anambrarian, lemme tell u da truth, u r not only entitled to marry an igbo gurl bt most tyms, d girl must also b an Anambrarian n not too far frm d guy's village. But as for me. I no care

Come here and collect a royal handshake for telling the truth, while others are still living in denial!! grin cool
Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Amhappy(f): 4:53pm On Feb 22, 2015
OP free us jare. Let you friend define her relationship with that man abeg. 6yrs dating ke for this age make she shine her eyes.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Jamean(f): 4:53pm On Feb 22, 2015
The other room had more yoruba babes, but believe me, it didn't become a yoruba town hall.

Sunnybobo3:


And what do you think would have happened if an Igbo babe found herself with 2 Ogun send 2 Ekiti chics?

1 Like

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by SkinnyDude(m): 4:53pm On Feb 22, 2015
i see tribalistic fools here, ganging up against my tribe. fools! i know igbos who married outside their tribe. they are many. even my friend's mum is from delta. the other one, her mum is from edo. one of my relations married a hausa woman. and these men are from Anambra.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by whatx: 4:54pm On Feb 22, 2015
squaddy:


You are just a fellow who has lost his way. Continue in your foolery.

I refuse to be among the myopic few who lacks exposure and see clouded with their local sense of reasoning.

How Nigeria go progress if some people like you still dey life?

Na only una dey bring spiral binded wedding list.


Hhn hnn hnn (Pete edochie laugh)

1 Like

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Achilies(m): 4:54pm On Feb 22, 2015
[color=#990000][/color]
CHM11:
Dear OP, please leave igbos alone if you are not igbo. Let them keep marrying themselves, its better for them.

I just pity peeps who date igbos!!,..especially igbos who live or have lived in the east...how do you cope with them??

Had to live amongst some east-based igbo guys and ladies during my NYSC..... Worst experience of my life....
Its worse that when they are told they are hard to understand, they all fall back to insulting in their local dialect.. You will hear things like ewu, anuofia etc...proving my point again....

igbo ndị karịsịa ndị na-dabeere nọ n'ebe ọwụwa anyanwụ dị
nnọọ na-akpa ọchị ndị mmadụ. Ha anaghị akpa àgwà ka
nkịtị mmadụ. Ndị njem dị anya ma obosara ịmụta na-akpa
àgwà dị mma ma ndị na-ahụ n'ebe ọwụwa anyanwụ bụ nanị
larịị na ụmụ anụmanụ. Onye ọ bụla na-anaghị amasị nwere
ike iji kacha nso eriri ka kpọgidere ya onwe ya. na-akpa ọchị
ndị mmadụ.

Plenty tongue out!!!!

So because of bad experience in the hands of 5,or more igbos you are condemning the whole tribe?

Let me tell you a story
In the jos 2002 crisis, I took my younger brothers and my girlfriend at that time to my BEST FRIEND place for protection and so on. As I go about looking for a way to get a transport for my mother and sisters.

When I went back for them, danladi my best friend for 10 years together with his father and some other people have killed my younger brothers and my ugomma I leave to tell this story because by the special grace of God. He intervened few minutes before the killed me..

Even after what happened, I don't see an Hausa person as a bad person until he gives me reasons too.

Danladi choose to kill my loved once. It was his choice. An individual choice. And not an Hausa thing. Even now in battlefield in borno my partner in our division is an Hausa guy and I trust him with my life.

Having bad experience in the hands of few igbo men or women is not a good reason to condem an entire tribe.

I am an igbo guy.

15 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Nobody: 4:54pm On Feb 22, 2015
ROSYL:


This English sounds like it's coming from someone I know.......




I doubt. smiley







Btw, I love your abs/flat tommy. kiss
Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Nobody: 4:54pm On Feb 22, 2015
squaddy:



Cry us a river. We don't marry promiscuous ladies. Please kindly stick with men from your ethnic extraction. No be by force you hear? Cheer up
U amuse me,women from my tribe hardly settle for ur likes,cos where I come from we are very selective when it comes to marriage.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by nwadiuko1(m): 4:56pm On Feb 22, 2015
CHM11:
Dear OP, please leave igbos alone if you are not igbo. Let them keep marrying themselves, its better for them.

I just pity peeps who date igbos!!,..especially igbos who live or have lived in the east...how do you cope with them??

Had to live amongst some east-based igbo guys and ladies during my NYSC..... Worst experience of my life....
Its worse that when they are told they are hard to understand, they all fall back to insulting in their local dialect.. You will hear things like ewu, anuofia etc...proving my point again....

igbo ndị karịsịa ndị na-dabeere nọ n'ebe ọwụwa anyanwụ dị
nnọọ na-akpa ọchị ndị mmadụ. Ha anaghị akpa àgwà ka
nkịtị mmadụ. Ndị njem dị anya ma obosara ịmụta na-akpa
àgwà dị mma ma ndị na-ahụ n'ebe ọwụwa anyanwụ bụ nanị
larịị na ụmụ anụmanụ. Onye ọ bụla na-anaghị amasị nwere
ike iji kacha nso eriri ka kpọgidere ya onwe ya. na-akpa ọchị
ndị mmadụ.

Plenty tongue out!!!!
wrong translator

5 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by laudate: 4:56pm On Feb 22, 2015
knowledgeable:


Complete rubbish: Marriages between Igbos and Yorubas are as high as ever. Marriages between Igbos and river line groups in the SS continues from generation to generation......

Substantiate this your statement here with facts and data that can be verified, oh! Because the reality we see around us every day does not appear to support this comment you made here....
Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by whatx: 4:56pm On Feb 22, 2015
SkinnyDude:
i see tribalistic fools here, ganging up against my tribe. fools! i know igbos who married outside their tribe. they are many. even my friend's mum is from delta. the other one, her mum is from edo. one of my relations married a hausa woman. and these men are from Anambra.


That's my problem with you. For you to remember their route is tribalistic and racial to me.

Who cares where they came from after wedding. But una, any small thing una go refer to their route.


Hhn hnn hnn (Pete edochie laugh)
Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by squaddy(m): 4:59pm On Feb 22, 2015
enkay4love:
U amuse me,women from my tribe hardly settle for ur likes,cos where I come from we are very selective when it comes to marriage.

Women from your tribe? Please kindly tell us what tribe is that. if you are not too ashamed to say it that is.

4 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Nobody: 5:00pm On Feb 22, 2015
Simple! Our ladies are second to non, top class and incomparable.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by MizMyColi(f): 5:00pm On Feb 22, 2015

See comments!

((sigh))
*prays*

"Oh Lord, give my generation your type of sense.
Amen."

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Nobody: 5:03pm On Feb 22, 2015
UjSizzle:

Sweet heart your family is different, and you haven't even been home long enough to know what's going on down here. Hapu ndi ma ana ka ha kowa gi ihe n'eme tongue
There are exceptions alright, but to be honest, people who are deeply (strangely too) rooted in their Anambra ways are highly unlikely to stray far away from home.
Parents who aren't very exposed, have had the misfortune of dealing with unruly people from other tribes are very likely to generalise bad behaviour as peculiar to said tribe too. They will try to advice their children against marriage. But then they'll also not push it if said child insists on their choice. But darn parents can be convincing sha especially when they start dropping their proverbs angry
Proverbs like "My daughter, the tortoise that strays from the river always has a bloody hell moment."

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by CHM11: 5:03pm On Feb 22, 2015
Achilies:
[color=#990000][/color]

So because of bad experience in the hands of 5,or more igbos you are condemning the whole tribe?

Let me tell you a story
In the jos 2002 crisis, I took my younger brothers and my girlfriend at that time to my BEST FRIEND place for protection and so on. As I go about looking for a way to get a transport for my mother and sisters.

When I went back for them, danladi my best friend for 10 years together with his father and some other people have killed my younger brothers and my ugomma I leave to tell this story because by the special grace of God. He intervened few minutes before the killed me..

Even after what happened, I don't see an Hausa person as a bad person until he gives me reasons too.

Danladi choose to kill my loved once. It was his choice. An individual choice. And not an Hausa thing. Even now in battlefield in borno my partner in our division is an Hausa guy and I trust him with my life.

Having bad experience in the hands of few igbo men or women is not a good reason to condem and entire tribe.
Best post I've read here on nairaland in a long time.
I didn't condemn the entire igbo race brother. Just saying what I've noticed with the lot of them that I have lived with in the past.
Thanks for your mature story and take my depest sympathy for your loss. May God give you the grace and energy to continue in the line of duty safely.
Regards.

1 Like

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by vitality22(m): 5:04pm On Feb 22, 2015
For me, I think an average Igbo person and especially those from anambra value the institution of marriage. They are always determined to make it work and that is why most Igbo guys especially anambrarian prefer to marry Igbo. Most parents especially those who are don't really speak English very well, might not want their daughters in law to come home and start speaking english which they might find difficult to comprehend.
In fact majority if not all of my colleagues always wished they marry Igbo guys. An average Igbo man has a lot of regards for their wives and can spend all their hard earned moniee on his wife and kids. He puts the interest of his immediate family first.
Even among the anabrarian, they still won't want to marry from some area eg Onitsha, most anambrarians won't want to marry from Onitsha.
Am proudly Anambrarian.

5 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Sunnybobo3(m): 5:04pm On Feb 22, 2015
Jamean:
The other room had more yoruba babes, but believe me, it didn't become a yoruba town hall.


You may think you are talking to someone who didn't partake in the NYSC.

I'm sure you don't even believe yourself.

4 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Nobody: 5:05pm On Feb 22, 2015
whatx:


I refuse to be among the myopic few who lacks exposure and see clouded with their local sense of reasoning.

How Nigeria go progress if some people like you still dey life?

Na only una dey bring spiral binded wedding list.


Hhn hnn hnn (Pete edochie laugh)
Don't mind the idiot,I've observed he has a loose mouth.
Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Okeikpu(m): 5:05pm On Feb 22, 2015
Nwanyi tinye nwa guy na ekpere na onwero ife na emenu cool egezina asiri.(・∀・)

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Subom1(f): 5:06pm On Feb 22, 2015
You people are still on this ish undecided

1 Like

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by squaddy(m): 5:06pm On Feb 22, 2015
whatx:


I refuse to be among the myopic few who lacks exposure and see clouded with their local sense of reasoning.

How Nigeria go progress if some people like you still dey life?

Na only una dey bring spiral binded wedding list.


Hhn hnn hnn (Pete edochie laugh)

FYI, my elder bro got married to fulani(believe it or not). I myself do not have an issue with marrying from any ethnic group and I know I speak for majority of the Igbos when I say so.
So for you to come here and agree with this hate filled assumption means you are either the myopic one here or you are just another hate filled I.d.iat.z

4 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Achilies(m): 5:08pm On Feb 22, 2015
[color=#006600][/color]
CHM11:

Best post I've read here on nairaland in a long time.
I didn't condemn the entire igbo race brother. Just saying what I've noticed with the lot of them that I have lived with in the past.
Thanks for your mature story and take my depest sympathy for your loss. May God give you the grace and energy to continue in the line of duty safely.
Regards.

Remain Blessed
Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by splashbaby(m): 5:08pm On Feb 22, 2015
nnannaidoko:
Foolish tribalistic yoruba mofo and fool.
Like something is wrong with you upstairs...my domestic animals are better than you... At least they show signs of trying to communicate...Many like you have no good manners because you have known. You can't bring anything sensible to this thread for us to discuss... If we meet in real life and you behave in this manner... by now I will be begging those beating you not to kill you... Lucky you

2 Likes

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Coldfeet(f): 5:11pm On Feb 22, 2015
CHM11:


I've noticed that Nairalanders based in the USA can write long epistles, couldn't even finish my igbo brother's comment.
But I get his point.
@bigfrancis21 nice point, but here's my view.
Others do it doesn't make I right.
Additionally, Nigeria is made up of major 3 regions. North west and east. The people in the North inter marry freely, fulani, gwarri, benue, hausa, Tiv etc....people in the west intermarry freely too, yoruba, egun, badagry, etc. But because tribes in the EAST are much, igbo's don't like marrying others and its justified because it favours them better.

I for example wouldn't want any of family member to marry an igbo man or woman, I'd rather marry a yoruba or even a fulani. This is because I have not had a good experience as regards the igbos I've encountered in life.
All in all, igbos!!..marry yourselves, its good for you bcause other tribes will hardly understand your behavior and character.
You and sleekangel85 should just pack one side >sad we marry ourselves na problem! We marry Una na problem! Wetin igbo do Una self? The igbos you've met in your life gave you the reflection of who you really are! Yes! What you present to us is how we will relate to you. (I know both of you are Yoruba cuz only a Yoruba man or woman whines about the igbos this much) much. Sleekangel85 tell your friend and your other yoruba sisters to stay away from dating igbo guys cus we like to marry ourselves! We can't keep your kind at home and have rest of mind! Unlike you people marriage for us is for life! So we make sure whoever we marry is one also committed to the idea of for better for worse! We no dey change spouse like clothes as you guys do in that region



God bless.

10 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Do Igbos Especially The Anambrans Marry From Their Tribe? by Nicklaus(m): 5:12pm On Feb 22, 2015
I don't know o

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