Hello Guys

My name is UD (not real name), a Nigerian and i am married to European who is 10 years older than me. We met in Europe but got married in Lagos.

Well, after our marriage, we always have family issues and fights like every other couple, but the problem i am having with my wife is that any time we are having our small misunderstanding, she always gets physical.. Initially, its just a small slap to my face and some nail scratching on my body here and there. And when this started in Europe, i will always try to walk away or hold her hands to calm her down, but seems the more i take the beatings, the more courage and bold she becomes in always hitting me during an argument or small misunderstanding with her.

Recently, we both came back to Nigeria for a business we brought down from Europe, and since we started living in Nigeria, i couldn't hold myself any longer as i have tried so in so many occasions to avoid hitting her back, but at a point i couldn't take it any more and i had to hit her back! though not so hard, but like oyibos, her skin where i hit her turned purple color and the next day everybody at our office was looking at me like the devil himself and a woman beater... I felt very very bad that i swore never to touch her again!

But last night she came all out for me again, hitting me, throwing lamps and whatever at me, and i lost it again and had to hit her! This time a bit hard! Please what am i supposed to do because i don't feel good after this fights especially when i have to hit her back.

And some of you might ask, why are we always fighting Well, i happens to be the bread winner in my family, but my wife doesn't understand why i should give money to my brother to help him in his business or pay for a new home for my mum. She said my family is too lazy and they should go and fend for themselves. My family is all i had and i feel obliged to help them even as i have a joint business venture with my wife and we run same account, thus finds out anytime i give them money. My brother was the one who helped and paid for my studies in Europe when his business was moving fine...now i feel i have to support him too because he has some problems with his business, but my oyibo wife will not hear of it and thus leads to our fighting and she getting physical with me..

Please guys, advise me what to do if you are in my shoes...only matured advises needed. Thanks

Op, I read your post and I have to say that I am sorry you found yourself in this situation.

First of all, the fact that you have endured through the beating and you have controlled yourself from hitting back all this while shows how responsible and mature you are. I wonder how many Nigerian men would let their wives hit them and they wouldn't hit back. Irrespective of her race.
Having said that, I think from everything you wrote, your wife is only annoyed because of the fact that you are giving financial assistance to your brother

Op, let me ask you this question, how huge is the money that you are disbursing to your family. Perhaps its a bit too much and hence your wife finding fault.
I believe you and your wife should sit together and talk things through.
Explain to her why you have to help your brother. Tell her that if not from the help your brother rendered to you, you wouldn't have met her in the first place

Your wife is a business minded woman. She believes the business won't grow as it is supposed to, if you keep on giving money out
I think you and your wife should sit down and plan your spending
You should agree on the amount of money you would dissipate to your family
I think she should understand

I also believe your wife gets angry because of the fact that you don't inform her before you give money to your people
You both run a partnership business with the same account number so its best you inform her before lending out money

Op I believe your wife loves you and you love her equally. Please don't let this issue lead to any problem in your marriage.
Your wife is hot tempered and you should talk to her. Caucasians tend to respond to talks
Sit her down and advise her to improve on herself. She can be better person.
Or better still, get the services of a marriage counselor

Op, I hope I helped.
I wish you success in both your marriage and business.

Thanks and God bless

Err.....

Can you get a temporary separation or outright divorce?

This is the same thing I will tell a woman whose husband hits her

Seat her down n engage her in a heart to heart talk, n make her see reasons why u should help ur bro who sponsored ur studies in europe n made ur parts cross ''u n ur wife''. Retaliating wont help in this case. she's wrong though

I came here to look at people's profile picture

and to read comments

and to occupy frontpage

and to look at the thread

and to see the silly man whose wife is beating him

and to see the op that posted this topic

and to see the mod that moved it to the frontpage

and to see how many views the topic gets

and to see who gets the highest number of likes

and to see how people will yab each other

and to see those that will shout GEJ till sh.it comes out

and to see the sai buhari crew

and to see the adverts people

and to see myself.

2. Mynd44: Quote Post

Err.....

Can you get a temporary separation or outright divorce?

This is the same thing I will tell a woman whose husband hits her


We have a strong business together. We both play a big role in the company and the company is here in Nigeria.... She cant do her part of the job if we are divorced. Also for the record. she loves me so much, just that she wants it to be just me and her alone...no family or friends around

Take her to the Synagogue of all Nations ( TB Joshua). if it worked for Jim iyke ..it will work for her also

Hehehehehe
Your wife must be a PDP member

But seriously, you don't have to hit your wife back.What if she faints or God forbid she pass on during d process,what would be your explanation ehn. We will not be interested in all this your story of how she hits u first. Solve your problem in a diplomatic & civilized way dude.

Behave like David in the Bible,whenever she is angry, get a Harp and String and Play her nice tunes..Not Ur bumbum is bigger than Bombay or Dorobucci o, play her like ASA,Adele, Ed sheer an,John legend,Jeremih ehn ..that evil spirit go vammose

Funny question...You have to do what every sane man got to do...talk to her...maybe divorce her...she might shoot you on ya leg someday.

missjenna:
Hmm

I share your sentiment

@OP....I suggest you think again about why you got married....and work it out from there.

Lol

Wife don finish for naija? This one wey u dey marry oyinbo

Haha if he plays Dorobucci or all these ur bumbum is bigger than,u fire pass trailer, or all these songs wey artiste go day invite politicians come in bed ,dem go just aggravate the anger spirit..and na Orthopaedic center straight for the husband

Call the cops

Absorb the beatings in good faith

Hmmmm, it is well o. Whew!


Take her on a trip around to show her how Nigerian family support one another. Explain your situation to her and to your family too. Help teach them how to fish anew by means of capita... Do not jeopardize your happiness cos of your sense of duty. God will direct your footsteps.

Funny stuffs , i will advise you to try a very active suicide pills,

yorex2011:
Wife don finish for naija? This one wey u dey marry oyinbo

They were in love.

Now they need to find out why they fell in love again.

I feel your wife doesn't respect your family, either you separate or you secretly continue helping your family for peace.

bushdoc9919:


I share your sentiment

O ya mi l'enu. This one pass me

‘Foreign women are the best'

I laugh in Swahili

On a more serious note

Divorce her or get rid her. She is not human and therefore shouldn't be treated as such.

you're making excuses for her.

Can't you separate your account with her, pls cut off this joints account if not for any reason for your family sake
Remember both matter to you ur wife and ur family.