I read a lot about how men who hit their partners are nothing but beasts, I nearly joined the bandwagon of accusers because I couldn't fathom how uncontrollable one's temper could be as to turn one's partner to a punching bag.

Don't get me wrong, I deeply regret I ever hit her, unfortunately that is one reason that apparently hold water as a reason for leaving even though she never gets to tell the whole story.

She had been a very good girl, and even till date, the only girl I have lost myself in love to. Yes, I have been a broke ass nigga and thankfully she could be a low maintenance lady.

She once told me how some of her stupid friends asked if I have hit her before obviously looking for shortfalls to convince her she shouldn't be dating me and how she proudly told them I hadn't for once.

In fairness to the truth, I learnt a lot from her and having her taught me how to treat my sister who was her age better.
At a point in her life, she had no genuine friend and would always moan to me how bad some friend or the other treated her and how she wasn't interested in their friendship anymore and I had to constantly remind her that people are different and so with their motives, I always encouraged her to try to understand such motives before writing them off.
I literally became her only friend and unfortunately shoved some people who could have been some sort of relief aside so much that we had just each other
Days became weeks and months and she conceived for me and a lot started changing about her. Maybe in her bid to feel acceptable, she got entangled with people she wrote completely off before, this wasn't a so much of a challenge because atleast she could whine less about them to me, her dress sense changed and she turned deaf ears to my appeal for explanation, I had to adapt to some of those challenges but unfortunately those friends became more valuable to her than myself even though we had a child coming and lived together, she shared less of her worries with me but would tell them even the minutest detail of our relationship which were frequently misrepresented maybe in a bid to gain sympathy which she eventually got. They explained my actions and inactions better than I could and she could go for days without talking to me so long as the meal was provides and the babies need met, she opted for a break anytime I told her of her upsetting attitude and the need to work on it, but would never tell me of her own misgivings towards me even when I plead so I could work on myself too, but would rather discuss unthinkable issues with her friends.

Fast forward to that particular day, a lady who I encouraged her to make friends with because of her distress and the feeling we could be of help to sent a text to her sim which happened to be on my phone saying she needs to know when I left the house so she could come over and I was wth! This is some one I brought in, someone whose coming means she is to fend from my toil, and I asked what it could be that I did that should warrant such. I sent her a text telling her never to bother coming anymore as I wasn't leaving the house that day anymore. She called her back and asked her only God knows what and my lady went up in frenzy insulting me not minding that a third party was there.
Minutes later the other girl stopped by to apologise stating that I misunderstood her text but my girlfriend continued the insult asking why she should bother to explain or apologise. After a while every other person left and she became apologetically cosy, well I shrugged her off knowing her being apologetic doesn't stop her from insulting me the next minute if she felt like, and true to my prediction, even while she was still being sorry, her words turned from being apologetic to outright insult, calling me unprintable names and how I am a hopeless orphan (I lost my dad the previous year and my mum is still very much alive and she is so lettered and knows what an orphan means) well I said something too of her family because I was hurt but could never match her with words and I made to leave the house in that fit of anger. But she locked the door and wouldn't let me. She turned apologetic again and then insulting, in that state all I could do was pity her because I couldn't imagine how someone could be so unstable, I was visibly frustrated and made to leave the house which she wouldn't have either and I had to forcefully remove her from the way. She came back hard on my, making for anything. That could be converted into a weapon, thankfully I was stronger and made her efforts futile. I pinned her to the ground with the intention to make her realise I am stronger than our love sessions where I played weak to let her have an upper hand so she could give up already, but the moment I released her a bit, she reached for my phone and smashed it on the floor repeatedly, I regrettably gave her some blows and because I didn't want it to continue, opened the door so a neighbour could come in a stop the fight. I later stormed out with the child and headed for a family who had rendered enough care to us and she later found her way there, I expected her to behave more in their presence but that was to wishful of me and unfortunately the ladies couldn't stop me as I gave her even deadlier blows but mehn, she never really got enough.

She was later forced into one of the rooms in the apartment and locked up with the baby.
After a while I walked to that point seeing how pitiful she looked asked her with tears in my eyes why she was acting the way she does to which she replied with a tone that could melt the devil's heart that she didn't know and was sorry. We packed up and went back home to the astonishment of all who saw us fight. Needless to say we made love that night after which she confessed she never knew I could hit her even after I was with her at the delivery room and declared no woman should be beaten by her man. She also owned up and apologised for pushing me to that point.

She also told me how a particular friend of hers who came in after the fight had told her not to have sex with me that night and all that.

The relationship lasted for a little longer without fights and she left while I was away for reasons still not clear to me, and looking back I regret that I ever let her pushing me to the point of hitting her but I still believe firmly that she deserved it.

My brother we are in the same shoes... I really lover her and I regret hitting her

You didnt love her genuinely

yinkus4u2c:
You didnt love her genuinely

then I need an explanation for how I felt towards her that I find difficult with others

congratulations.

Not ur fault dearie, ...women should learn hw to be ladies...u don't push a man to the wall and expect him not to "react"...even though na saint sef.

Agrika:
Not ur fault dearie, ...women should learn hw to be ladies...u don't push a man to the wall and expect him not to "react"...even though na saint sef.

unfortunately most men who have formed the habit of beating their spouses are being tagged beastly without recourse to how pushed he has been to resort to such and how hapless the situation could have been

I blame u Bro. You should have forced her to get rid of those evil friends she had.
They were jealous of her joy & succeeded in destroying it now. Its not too late to make amends though.

Ladies don't know what's good for them. U gotta treat them like what they are (babies). U just need to see me whipping my bae. Yet she'll lay her life for me

delugadou:
I blame u Bro. You should have forced her to get rid of those evil friends she had.
They were jealous of her joy & succeeded in destroying it now. Its not too late to make amends though.

Ladies don't know what's good for them. U gotta treat them like what they are (babies). U just need to see me whipping my bae. Yet she'll lay her life for me

believe me, I had no reasons to stop her from keeping friends, she was unyielding to their previous demand to do away with me, abort the baby and all that, she would even tell me all the unremarkable girly things they say about me with a firm promise they can't influence her. I loved and trusted her.
But with the benefit of hindsight, our relationship would have been soaring without those friends

OhLordhavemercy! What a passionate and destructive relationship you had. Pity you hit her. When a man hits a woman, she never really gets over it. Why will you look me in the eyes and hit me? Haaaaa, it's the beginning of the end for us. What a pity story...hope you still see and care for your child.

smh

sisisioge:
OhLordhavemercy! What a passionate and destructive relationship you had. Pity you hit her. When a man hits a woman, she never really gets over it. Why will you look me in the eyes and hit me? Haaaaa, it's the beginning of the end for us. What a pity story... hope you still see and care for your child.

I don't and it is my greatest regret.
My hitting her can never equate to the verbal, emotional and often physical abuse she subjected me to even though the later comes to nought as I am stronger than she is.

Believe, any man who loves you would wish that you are all laughter all the days of your life, but women often give room for that as narrated above. And had women more physical power than men, the male folks would have gone into extinction.
No man would be as stupid as to hit a woman for no cause.

OP, I don't support violence from anyone but seems to me like you did what you had to do, to remove yourself from that situation at the time.

I believe she is not a child and if everything you wrote here is true, then you two probably shouldn't be together, atleast till she is mature enough to decide what she really wants.

sisisioge:
OhLordhavemercy! What a passionate and destructive relationship you had. Pity you hit her. When a man hits a woman, she never really gets over it. Why will you look me in the eyes and hit me? Haaaaa, it's the beginning of the end for us. What a pity story...hope you still see and care for your child.

I also hope you won't hit him first, or even insult him so much that he'll start to wonder, especially if he can't match you words for words, hope you also won't lock the door when he attempts to leave.

yinkus4u2c:
You didnt love her genuinely

Really? And she loved him genuinely?

delugadou:
I blame u Bro. You should have forced her to get rid of those evil friends she had.
They were jealous of her joy & succeeded in destroying it now. Its not too late to make amends though.

Ladies don't know what's good for them. U gotta treat them like what they are (babies). U just need to see me whipping my bae. Yet she'll lay her life for me

wtf? This is about the dumbest post I've read today. I mean that not as an offense btw.

My dear brother you were in an abusive relationship, she abused you emotionally and you retaliated physically. I think you both need to take a break from your relationship and work out what is best for you. No woman deserves to be abused, and no man deserves it either.. You both were to work out your differences but you didnt, if you both eventually get back together you need to seek help because a lot has gone wrong in this relationship..

mcdokwe:
I read a lot about how men who hit their partners are nothing but beasts, I nearly joined the bandwagon of accusers because I couldn't fathom how uncontrollable one's temper could be as to turn one's partner to a punching bag.

Don't get me wrong, I deeply regret I ever hit her, unfortunately that is one reason that apparently hold water as a reason for leaving even though she never gets to tell the whole story.

She had been a very good girl, and even till date, the only girl I have lost myself in love to. Yes, I have been a broke ass nigga and thankfully she could be a low maintenance lady.

She once told me how some of her stupid friends asked if I have hit her before obviously looking for shortfalls to convince her she shouldn't be dating me and how she proudly told them I hadn't for once.

In fairness to the truth, I learnt a lot from her and having her taught me how to treat my sister who was her age better.
At a point in her life, she had no genuine friend and would always moan to me how bad some friend or the other treated her and how she wasn't interested in their friendship anymore and I had to constantly remind her that people are different and so with their motives, I always encouraged her to try to understand such motives before writing them off.
I literally became her only friend and unfortunately shoved some people who could have been some sort of relief aside so much that we had just each other
Days became weeks and months and she conceived for me and a lot started changing about her. Maybe in her bid to feel acceptable, she got entangled with people she wrote completely off before, this wasn't a so much of a challenge because atleast she could whine less about them to me, her dress sense changed and she turned deaf ears to my appeal for explanation, I had to adapt to some of those challenges but unfortunately those friends became more valuable to her than myself even though we had a child coming and lived together, she shared less of her worries with me but would tell them even the minutest detail of our relationship which were frequently misrepresented maybe in a bid to gain sympathy which she eventually got. They explained my actions and inactions better than I could and she could go for days without talking to me so long as the meal was provides and the babies need met, she opted for a break anytime I told her of her upsetting attitude and the need to work on it, but would never tell me of her own misgivings towards me even when I plead so I could work on myself too, but would rather discuss unthinkable issues with her friends.

Fast forward to that particular day, a lady who I encouraged her to make friends with because of her distress and the feeling we could be of help to sent a text to her sim which happened to be on my phone saying she needs to know when I left the house so she could come over and I was wth! This is some one I brought in, someone whose coming means she is to fend from my toil, and I asked what it could be that I did that should warrant such. I sent her a text telling her never to bother coming anymore as I wasn't leaving the house that day anymore. She called her back and asked her only God knows what and my lady went up in frenzy insulting me not minding that a third party was there.
Minutes later the other girl stopped by to apologise stating that I misunderstood her text but my girlfriend continued the insult asking why she should bother to explain or apologise. After a while every other person left and she became apologetically cosy, well I shrugged her off knowing her being apologetic doesn't stop her from insulting me the next minute if she felt like, and true to my prediction, even while she was still being sorry, her words turned from being apologetic to outright insult, calling me unprintable names and how I am a hopeless orphan (I lost my dad the previous year and my mum is still very much alive and she is so lettered and knows what an orphan means) well I said something too of her family because I was hurt but could never match her with words and I made to leave the house in that fit of anger. But she locked the door and wouldn't let me. She turned apologetic again and then insulting, in that state all I could do was pity her because I couldn't imagine how someone could be so unstable, I was visibly frustrated and made to leave the house which she wouldn't have either and I had to forcefully remove her from the way. She came back hard on my, making for anything. That could be converted into a weapon, thankfully I was stronger and made her efforts futile. I pinned her to the ground with the intention to make her realise I am stronger than our love sessions where I played weak to let her have an upper hand so she could give up already, but the moment I released her a bit, she reached for my phone and smashed it on the floor repeatedly, I regrettably gave her some blows and because I didn't want it to continue, opened the door so a neighbour could come in a stop the fight. I later stormed out with the child and headed for a family who had rendered enough care to us and she later found her way there, I expected her to behave more in their presence but that was to wishful of me and unfortunately the ladies couldn't stop me as I gave her even deadlier blows but mehn, she never really got enough.

She was later forced into one of the rooms in the apartment and locked up with the baby.
After a while I walked to that point seeing how pitiful she looked asked her with tears in my eyes why she was acting the way she does to which she replied with a tone that could melt the devil's heart that she didn't know and was sorry. We packed up and went back home to the astonishment of all who saw us fight. Needless to say we made love that night after which she confessed she never knew I could hit her even after I was with her at the delivery room and declared no woman should be beaten by her man. She also owned up and apologised for pushing me to that point.

She also told me how a particular friend of hers who came in after the fight had told her not to have sex with me that night and all that.

The relationship lasted for a little longer without fights and she left while I was away for reasons still not clear to me, and looking back I regret that I ever let her pushing me to the point of hitting her but I still believe firmly that she deserved it.

Gabbyswit:
My dear brother you were in an abusive relationship, she abused you emotionally and you retaliated physically. I think you both need to take a break from your relationship and work out what is best for you. No woman deserves to be abused, and no man deserves it either.. You both were to work out your differences but you didnt, if you both eventually get back together you need to seek help because a lot has gone wrong in this relationship..

I have always believed no relationship is perfect. The beauty in some relationships is so because two people in it wants it to work and try to make it work and have always communicated same to her, I have a huge interest in the relationship and if it happens that she is still interested and willing to work things out, I'd no doubt give my best to that.

But if she was going to re-enact many of the things she used to, then we are better off separated. My daughter would hopefully grow to understand.

Yes, you both can still work something out but what happens when abuse occurs again. Abuse that has occured once can probably occur again.
I think you both need to see a counsellor, no relationship is perfect and be rest assured that she will annoy you again sometime in the future.

mcdokwe:
I have always believed no relationship is perfect. The beauty in some relationships is so because two people in it wants it to work and try to make it work and have always communicated same to her, I have a huge interest in the relationship and if it happens that she is still interested and willing to work things out, I'd no doubt give my best to that.

But if she was going to re-enact many of the things she used to, then we are better off separated. My daughter would hopefully grow to understand.

Gabbyswit:
Yes, you both can still work something out but what happens when abuse occurs again. Abuse that has occured once can probably occur again.
I think you both need to see a counsellor, no relationship is perfect and be rest assured that she will annoy you again sometime in the future.

This isn't even about annoying him, the babe needs to grow up, their problems is mostly caused by the fact that she lets her so called friends interfere in their affairs.

She can't keep messing up and expect the young man to walk on egg shells, he did wrong by hitting her alright but then, there's only so much he can take.

Gabbyswit:
Yes, you both can still work something out but what happens when abuse occurs again. Abuse that has occured once can probably occur again.
I think you both need to see a counsellor, no relationship is perfect and be rest assured that she will annoy you again sometime in the future.

It is perfectly allowed for her to annoy me just as I wish she understands I can annoy her too without intending it. We are just humans and communication is key. It is expected that if it happens that we get back together, I should have to battle and overcome new realities of life not such I have encountered before and sought change from.

Besides, nice blog you've got

sweetcocoa:
This isn't even about annoying him, the babe needs to grow up, their problems is mostly caused by the fact that she lets her so called friends interfere in their affairs.

She can't keep messing up and expect the young man to walk on egg shells, he did wrong by hitting her alright but then, there's only so much he can take.

thank you.

The essence of this post is not to celebrate male superiority, but to point out that we love our ladies so much we don't want even a grain of harmless dust to prick them, but sometimes they push us so hard and create the impression we batter so much.

mcdokwe:
thank you.

The essence of this post is not to celebrate male superiority, but to point out that we love our ladies so much we don't want even a grain of harmless dust to prick them, but sometimes they push us so hard and create the impression we batter so much.

Ofcourse, I'm a woman and I like to think of myself as a feminist(eventhough most people don't understand feminism and what it's about) I stand for the truth.

Some women are just something else and can push you so much you begin to question all you stand for,and because I don't believe in violence, I think it's better that any man who finds himself with such a woman, let her go, until she decides to act like a mature and reasonable person, by communicating instead of hurling invectives at her man.

sweetcocoa:
Really? And she loved him genuinely?

idc...hitting her and sayin she deserves it is just annoying.

i av no regard for men in dat class

yinkus4u2c:



idc...hitting her and sayin she deserves it is just annoying.

i av no regard for men in dat class

You don't care, now that's just a very myopic thing to say. If you can't take a minute to consider what this lady did and the impact it must have had on this mister, then you shouldn't blame him, especially because he tried to remove himself from the situation.

yinkus4u2c:



idc...hitting her and sayin she deserves it is just annoying.

i av no regard for men in dat class

she believes or believed she deserved it too, guess you don't see my regret part of the story

sweetcocoa:
You don't care, now that's just a very myopic thing to say. If you can't take a minute to consider what this lady did and the impact it must have had on this mister, then you shouldn't blame him, especially because he tried to remove himself from the situation.

Myopic u say? smh...i dont tink u knw wat dat means.
D lady had her faults, yes! but did d mister's actions solved d probs? Hell no! but rather complicated it. This is whr d issue of selfcontrol comes in,women will always be women.
Ladies r not meant to be trampled upon but be cared for.
at ds juncture...i quit

sweetcocoa:
wtf? This is about the dumbest post I've read today. I mean that not as an offense btw.

Bad friends like you made his bae to ditch him. I mean that not as an offence btw

@op, sorry for asking o, i still remember this your moniker very well.
Is this the same woman you asked us on this forum to help you win back? If yes, then, maybe the two of you are not meant to be together in the first instance.
It's unfortunate she pushed you into hitting her and also unfortunate that you know it's a regratable situation. Anyway, find a way to get her and try to make arrangement on how you can both take care of your baby together without bitterness from either of you, because that baby deserves the best from both of you, i'm saying all this because i don't think the two of you are compatible.
If no, please disregard my sermon on the mount.

Every relationship is dynamic.. Just make the right choices and be happy. That's all..

Thanks for the compliment..

mcdokwe:
It is perfectly allowed for her to annoy me just as I wish she understands I can annoy her too without intending it. We are just humans and communication is key. It is expected that if it happens that we get back together, I should have to battle and overcome new realities of life not such I have encountered before and sought change from.

Besides, nice blog you've got

greatgod2012:
@op, sorry for asking o, i still remember this your moniker very well.
Is this the same woman you asked us on this forum to help you win back? If yes, then, maybe the two of you are not meant to be together in the first instance.
It's unfortunate she pushed you into hitting her and also unfortunate that you know it's a regratable situation. Anyway, find a way to get her and try to make arrangement on how you can both take care of your baby together without bitterness from either of you, because that baby deserves the best from both of you, i'm saying all this because i don't think the two of you are compatible.
If no, please disregard my sermon on the mount.

your memory is legendary