Rapmoney:

The most annoying part is that people save to marry! Is it suppose to be that way?

It's not normal and this is what you get in a society where money answereth any prayer but the blame goes to the intending couples that sees it as a do or die affair and most at times the man is usually subtly pressured by the woman ,the wife-to-be after all her friends did some kind of big wedding but my final blame goes to the man who knows that he'd be the one bearing the brunt while the woman folds her legs only to open them and make babies like rats plunging the man into more chaos.

Have you bothered to ask why you have more widows in the society more than widowers?

If you want to make it a luxury it will be,me I refused mine to become a burden,most groom wants to lmpress there bride,and most bride want to impress and compete with friends

mytime24:
our politicians pikin re callin, wetin u dey wait for

d ones i met no gree.

Weddings are a vanity show everywhere in the world

An excuse to waste money to appease the fragile egos of young women.

ammyluv2002:
Trash! White wedding is a waste of resources, it's not biblical. People need to be wise and stop chasing shadows. Paying of the woman's bride price is what expected of every male Christian to perform even the celebration after paying the dowry is a total waste, I don't subscribe to it. Any pastor that refuses to recognise a wedding done traditionally needs to be questioned if he truly understands the bible.

love your comment you spoke the truth.

A friend of mine is about getting married to a benin woman, and the list giving to him is approximately 1.5m

Poor mans talk, why not buy a nokia 3310, than using that android to post this

Comment for another day......




VIDEO LEAK: Cape Coast Girl Strips On Camera And Sends To Her Boyfriend |DOWNLOAD

Funjosh:
A friend of mine is about getting married to a benin woman, and the list giving to him is approximately 1.5m

After paying the dowry and buying the things for 1.5M, he should make sure he gets a receipt from the bride's family and a "Wife Sale Agreement" from her family too.

Nonsense. As if they are the ones to feed her in her husband's house.

Typing...

Seriously like someone pointed out, white wedding us really a big waste of money. It's better to do both white and traditional same day to cut down cost.All thus extra extra nonsense expenses during wedding/marriage is nonsense. Most times I blame the bride for not cutting her man's coat according to his size.Wedding/mmarriage is not something to be rushed if you want to get the best result.Besides, I rather spend money on anniversaries than white wedding.

I blame GEJ . If not for his cluelessness , he should have abolished bride price and white wedding. Incompetent government . we want change

MrMcJay:


After paying the dowry and buying the things for 1.5M, he should make sure he gets a receipt from the bride's family and a "Wife Sale Agreement" from her family too.

Nonsense. As if they are the ones to feed her in her husband's house.

And the most funny aspext of it is the whole money he is having is not upto half a million

God knows I ain't doing none of that.

I take her to church, we sign the register and entertain a few guests.

#Shikena

Marriage is done ones in a life time, if you have the money why not make it luxury, afterall the money is to be speny, or are you keeping them for your casket purchase if you die, poor mans talk

;DNaija my country! Marriage here na investment na.

That is the failure of the traditional leadership. Unless we understand ourselves and our cultural orientations, we may not go far in changing things. We have traditional leaders that don't even know their roles in their different domains. They only endorse the political class and collect bribes from them.
The solution of this situation which mainly exist in my Igbo community can only be handled traditionally because it mainly originate from their and someone will tell us that it is culture. Cultural heritage can be reviewed and restructured to accommodate the present reality in the world. Now we have a lot of processes before someone can marry. You will do traditional rites, traditional marriage, church or white marriage and in some cases court marriage. If you are not financially comfortable, you cannot do these things. This makes some guys to keep away unless they get money.

The worst of it is the issue with most Nigerian women where they believe that the man must take care of very financial need in the house.Most of our women have that stupid mindset. It s very worrisome and as well not helping our men to take a bold step into marriage. I am married but the truth is that the only thing that makes me happy in my marriage is my children and nothing else. I tend to be tired of everything in the marriage.

Having ones marriage blessed in Church will only cost so much when the couple are bent on having a societal wedding.

When my dad married my mum in a Catholic church, it was done on a weekday. In attendance were just my parents, their sponsors and the priests. They didn't spend upto 500 naira for everything.

My elder bro did exactly same when he got married though his was done on a Saturday but all he spent was not more than 100k. The Church blessing costed next to nothing while the others were personal expenses he chose to incur.

The problem we have today are largely caused by the greed and selfishness of the parents and relatives. Culture is meant for man and not man for culture. If an aspect of tradition is killing then away with it, I say.

I know only too well that when I eventually have a daughter, my son in-law will only spend what he decides to spend. I will never be the obstacle to a good thing.

Marriage is meant to leave the couples happy, not sad and broke.

ednut1:
d ones i met no gree.

continue searchin den ......gudluck

kenock:
Marriage is done ones in a life time, if you have the money why not make it luxury, afterall the money is to be speny, or are you keeping them for your casket purchase if you die, poor mans talk

And u can't save dat money to be wasted on other good project(s) after marriage? I pity u!

Dats just d truth.

ArchEnemy:
I dont think saving for marriage is a problem, the problem is allowing yourself to be forced to spend too excessively above your budget

Op u can take ur case to d national assembly as a bill if u r lucky they can pass a law to minimize d jamborie

Rapmoney:
Going by the high demands and unnecessary conditions attached to marriage, many young men now see marriage as 'luxury'. They save and save and save over and over again, just to fulfill that cultural obligation! Omo, wetin dey happen sef? Which way? Is this part of our culture or just a social trend that was started by our society people. It has even become so annoying to learn that even among the middle class and the average citizens, the expectations are so high and outrageous!!! Just check out some of these:

1) You might be asked to buy boxes of clothes for the mother and probably, grandmother of the wife-to-be!!! What would her grandmother be needing box of clothes for? Will she wear them all before she finally tell the world 'good-bye?' Come to think of it, is the man getting married to the girl's mother or grandmother?

2) If you collect list finish, you go know say na 'egbegba' for the matter The fact is that, after fulfilling what's on the list and other things attached, the woman might still go out to bleep one of her ex-lover! Bride price or dowry should not be more than 1500 naira or at most, 2000 naira. After paying that, eating and drinking with family and friends (in a moderate way o!), the man and woman should be free to go their house and start their family. All this issue of eating and drinking as if there is no tomorrow, closing down an entire town or street, inviting every Tomide, Dike and Haruna is pure RUBBISH!!!

3) Why should I save for marriage as if I am paying for a land, house or car. Same woman that will stay in same house with me and which we will both give birth to children together? I don't get it!

This nonsense is making many young and ambitious men to be scared of marriage and even committed relationships!!!

Please, feel free to share your views.

i dare say this is worse in the east. especially in this age of economic hardship, young men are scared of this kind of expenditure. no be like say she be virgin, or like say she no go cheat. . . so what's the point, after all we can have girlfriends, mess around and even sef we fit born pikin join am sef, dem go begin beg us to come and carry. . .anyhow

but seriously this has slowed down marriage in the east and many girls remain unmarried well into their 30s and early 40s, and many are frustrated into becoming high society girls.

[size=4pt]especially ndiigbo [/size]

When I hear people criticise igbos for throwing big wedding/mmarriage celebration, I just laugh.The IGBO'S operate highly communal lifestyles no matter where they are found.There is a small community of a particular village in every cities, running their affairs and reporting back to the village annually.Take for example, if today i am getting married, the Lagos branch of my village women will organise themselves with their[b] own money[/b] to travel down for the cookings et al.On the path of my dad, his own age grade in the village will be in charge of getting the finest of palm wine even if it means they journey to get in in another village.The live cow and goats will be killed and wash by them, sliced by them.My age grade will be the ones to run around to carry firewoods, and other important tthings.THIS IS PART IF THE REASON WHY THEY HAVE A LIST.ABI UNA NO DEY SEE CHEWING GUM AND POWDER INSIDE LIST? All this little things are actually not littllittle.What about the community of friends from the husband? They bring their own financial donations, some bring cartoon of wines, some volunteer to take up other pending expenses, etc.So you see, some of this igbo wedding/marriage really is majorly a communal preparation.

Cut your cloth according to your size. The problem is not the church or customs. It has more to do with the individuals. Mr. & Mrs. A , want their wedding to be as loud as that of Mr. & Mrs. B.

If a family accepts a man, they can't refuse whatever he has. Most families bend the rules. It is more or less fun, for both sides to bargain. It is not a war but more like a "friendly battle" of wits.

Just agree with your spouse on what you can afford as a team. The rest would be easier.

That's it. Parents have lots to do to fix this. This madness is not stopping anytime soon. This nonsense gives rise to homosexual, rape, masturbation, you name it. Yes, it keeps guys off for good.

Another thing is men overseas seeing this kind of thing may be turned off. They would prefer to marry Akata or Oyinbo. Stress free from paying this and that in-laws. Very ridiculous! And then they blame the poor man for not coming back home. I have been hearing stories like for about 6yrs now. I thought it was a joke.

Rapmoney:
Going by the high demands and unnecessary conditions attached to marriage, many young men now see marriage as 'luxury'. They save and save and save over and over again, just to fulfill that cultural obligation! Omo, wetin dey happen sef? Which way? Is this part of our culture or just a social trend that was started by our society people. It has even become so annoying to learn that even among the middle class and the average citizens, the expectations are so high and outrageous!!! Just check out some of these:

1) You might be asked to buy boxes of clothes for the mother and probably, grandmother of the wife-to-be!!! What would her grandmother be needing box of clothes for? Will she wear them all before she finally tell the world 'good-bye?' Come to think of it, is the man getting married to the girl's mother or grandmother?

2) If you collect list finish, you go know say na 'egbegba' for the matter The fact is that, after fulfilling what's on the list and other things attached, the woman might still go out to bleep one of her ex-lover! Bride price or dowry should not be more than 1500 naira or at most, 2000 naira. After paying that, eating and drinking with family and friends (in a moderate way o!), the man and woman should be free to go their house and start their family. All this issue of eating and drinking as if there is no tomorrow, closing down an entire town or street, inviting every Tomide, Dike and Haruna is pure RUBBISH!!!

3) Why should I save for marriage as if I am paying for a land, house or car. Same woman that will stay in same house with me and which we will both give birth to children together? I don't get it!

This nonsense is making many young and ambitious men to be scared of marriage and even committed relationships!!!

Please, feel free to share your views.

searching4love:



THIS IS WHY I WILL KEEP ADVISING SENSIBLE MEN TO LOOK FOR WIVES ABROAD. MARRIAGE HERE IS OVERHYPED AND A FAST WAY TO DEBT AND BANKRUPTCY. THE NIGERIAN GIRLS ARE A BUNCH OF INSATIABLE CREATURES. THEY SUCK MEN DRY LIKE A BED BUG AND MONEY IS ALL THEY UNDERSTAND.

I WILL NEVER ADVISE MY ENEMIES TO EVEN GO NEAR ANY NIGERIAN LADY COS OF THEIR MONEY HUNGRY NATURE. THEY ARE ALSO FOND OF ADULTERY WHEN THE HUSBAND IS NOT AROUND OR FINANCIALLY DOWN.

THEY HAVE NOTHING INTELLECTUALLY BUT JUST TO OPEN THEIR SMELLY GAPS FOR GULLIBLE MEN TO KNACK. THEY ARE A SPECIE I DESPISE SO MUCH.

HE WHO HAS EARS SHOULD LISTEN. IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT, TRAVEL ABROAD AND MARRY A FOREIGN GIRL


#Team foreign girls

This is why I kept telling you to get help!

pls, at everbody permit me to ask.

cus most tym when issue of white wedding is raise I am always confuse.

which is really a white wedding
is it the church wedding or the court wedding.

Type of wedding
1. customary wedding same as trad
2. court wedding
3. Religions wedding
religious wedding further divide into 3 as well, which are christain wedding, muslim wedding and the trad which is base on your faith either Amadioha, sango, ogun what ever faith you have or the gods you belive in.


back to white wedding, anywhere white wedding is been mention, most people take it to be church wedding, while few take it to be court wedding.

now if we refer to church wedding as been white wedding, what about muslim wedding
and the trads that they both belong to religion wedding.

Marriage is a big Deal but apparently people are making the wedding ceremony[5hrs max] a bigger Deal Instead...After ur TM [Which is usually negotiable to siut ur budget],u are officially married,if u decide to do a white wedding,dts ur choice except u r marrying from a familly thats crazy about Show Off...I spent a fortune on mine even though i culd av pushed it aside...if i knew what i know now,i for save that money for biz...be wise

Rapmoney:

The most annoying part is that people save to marry! Is it suppose to be that way?

It's shameful. I believe it's responsible for the high rate of cohabitation in our society. I see a Nigeria where youths will one day prise themselves from the negative stranglehold of such traditions and live more freely.

These days people say it's not easy to get married, not because finding a good wife is hard but because 'buying' one is. I took pity on the guy that married my younger sister last year. I was there; I felt like telling the elders "Enough!" Sadly, a majority of the things on the list goes to the kinsmen who may have contributed nothing to the growth of the bride. It's high time we requested for an invoice after every marriage transaction.

It's just a Nigerian thing that has come to stay. Nigerians always chasing the very wrong things they lable PRIORITIES!

Most do this to impress people they don't like and who cares less about them with money they don't even have.

There is a big difference between Wedding and Marriage. Nigerians are more concerned with the wedding frenzy!!!!

HOTWATER:
I blame GEJ . If not for his cluelessness , he should have abolished bride price and white wedding. Incompetent government . we want change

Oga, if you want change, go and meet Alhaji at the nearest bureau de change.