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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria (27824 Views)
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Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Truckpusher(m): 6:09pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Rapmoney:It's not normal and this is what you get in a society where money answereth any prayer but the blame goes to the intending couples that sees it as a do or die affair and most at times the man is usually subtly pressured by the woman ,the wife-to-be after all her friends did some kind of big wedding but my final blame goes to the man who knows that he'd be the one bearing the brunt while the woman folds her legs only to open them and make babies like rats plunging the man into more chaos. Have you bothered to ask why you have more widows in the society more than widowers? 5 Likes |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by synergycom19: 6:13pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
If you want to make it a luxury it will be,me I refused mine to become a burden,most groom wants to lmpress there bride,and most bride want to impress and compete with friends |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by ednut1(m): 6:15pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
mytime24:d ones i met no gree. |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by mmsen: 6:16pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Weddings are a vanity show everywhere in the world An excuse to waste money to appease the fragile egos of young women. 4 Likes |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by lyntiffany(f): 6:17pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
ammyluv2002:love your comment ![]() |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Funjosh(m): 6:21pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
A friend of mine is about getting married to a benin woman, and the list giving to him is approximately 1.5m ![]() |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by kenock: 6:24pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Poor mans talk, why not buy a nokia 3310, than using that android to post this 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by BrAkingNews: 6:25pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Comment for another day...... VIDEO LEAK: Cape Coast Girl Strips On Camera And Sends To Her Boyfriend |DOWNLOAD |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by MrMcJay(m): 6:26pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Funjosh: After paying the dowry and buying the things for 1.5M, he should make sure he gets a receipt from the bride's family and a "Wife Sale Agreement" from her family too. Nonsense. As if they are the ones to feed her in her husband's house. 3 Likes |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 6:26pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Typing... Seriously like someone pointed out, white wedding us really a big waste of money. It's better to do both white and traditional same day to cut down cost.All thus extra extra nonsense expenses during wedding/marriage is nonsense. Most times I blame the bride for not cutting her man's coat according to his size.Wedding/mmarriage is not something to be rushed if you want to get the best result.Besides, I rather spend money on anniversaries than white wedding. 2 Likes |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by HOTWATER(m): 6:28pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
I blame GEJ . If not for his cluelessness , he should have abolished bride price and white wedding. Incompetent government . we want change 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Funjosh(m): 6:31pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
MrMcJay: And the most funny aspext of it is the whole money he is having is not upto half a million ![]() |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 6:32pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
God knows I ain't doing none of that. I take her to church, we sign the register and entertain a few guests. #Shikena 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by kenock: 6:32pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Marriage is done ones in a life time, if you have the money why not make it luxury, afterall the money is to be speny, or are you keeping them for your casket purchase if you die, poor mans talk |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 6:33pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
You guys keep over-flogging this issue. Why don't you wait till you get to that bridge? It's not usually as ridiculous as y'all make it look. I don't think there is any church that would wed you without proof that you have fulfilled the traditional rites. Meaning? The traditional rites come first. Doing white wedding or whatever is just extra. Bride-price this and that! Yet carpenters, shoemakers are marrying! They negotiate those lists. Except you just wan do big-boy for them - then you can pay all. It's all about the couple. Especially ladies, cut your coat according to your size. If you have the money? Why not? Give yourself your fairytale wedding. 4 Likes |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Kaxxy(f): 6:35pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
;DNaija my country! Marriage here na investment na. ![]() |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by atakamus: 6:35pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
That is the failure of the traditional leadership. Unless we understand ourselves and our cultural orientations, we may not go far in changing things. We have traditional leaders that don't even know their roles in their different domains. They only endorse the political class and collect bribes from them. The solution of this situation which mainly exist in my Igbo community can only be handled traditionally because it mainly originate from their and someone will tell us that it is culture. Cultural heritage can be reviewed and restructured to accommodate the present reality in the world. Now we have a lot of processes before someone can marry. You will do traditional rites, traditional marriage, church or white marriage and in some cases court marriage. If you are not financially comfortable, you cannot do these things. This makes some guys to keep away unless they get money. The worst of it is the issue with most Nigerian women where they believe that the man must take care of very financial need in the house.Most of our women have that stupid mindset. It s very worrisome and as well not helping our men to take a bold step into marriage. I am married but the truth is that the only thing that makes me happy in my marriage is my children and nothing else. I tend to be tired of everything in the marriage. 5 Likes |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 6:35pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Having ones marriage blessed in Church will only cost so much when the couple are bent on having a societal wedding. When my dad married my mum in a Catholic church, it was done on a weekday. In attendance were just my parents, their sponsors and the priests. They didn't spend upto 500 naira for everything. My elder bro did exactly same when he got married though his was done on a Saturday but all he spent was not more than 100k. The Church blessing costed next to nothing while the others were personal expenses he chose to incur. The problem we have today are largely caused by the greed and selfishness of the parents and relatives. Culture is meant for man and not man for culture. If an aspect of tradition is killing then away with it, I say. I know only too well that when I eventually have a daughter, my son in-law will only spend what he decides to spend. I will never be the obstacle to a good thing. Marriage is meant to leave the couples happy, not sad and broke. 7 Likes |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by mytime24(f): 6:37pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
ednut1:continue searchin den ......gudluck |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Lalashi1(m): 6:38pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
kenock:And u can't save dat money to be wasted on other good project(s) after marriage? I pity u! 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 6:40pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Dats just d truth. ![]() ArchEnemy: |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by ogawisdom(m): 6:46pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Op u can take ur case to d national assembly as a bill ![]() ![]() |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by preselect(m): 6:47pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Rapmoney: i dare say this is worse in the east. especially in this age of economic hardship, young men are scared of this kind of expenditure. no be like say she be virgin, or like say she no go cheat. . . so what's the point, after all we can have girlfriends, mess around and even sef we fit born pikin join am sef, dem go begin beg us to come and carry. . .anyhow ![]() ![]() but seriously this has slowed down marriage in the east and many girls remain unmarried well into their 30s and early 40s, and many are frustrated into becoming high society girls. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() [size=4pt] 4 Likes |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 6:47pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
When I hear people criticise igbos for throwing big wedding/mmarriage celebration, I just laugh.The IGBO'S operate highly communal lifestyles no matter where they are found.There is a small community of a particular village in every cities, running their affairs and reporting back to the village annually.Take for example, if today i am getting married, the Lagos branch of my village women will organise themselves with their[b] own money[/b] to travel down for the cookings et al.On the path of my dad, his own age grade in the village will be in charge of getting the finest of palm wine even if it means they journey to get in in another village.The live cow and goats will be killed and wash by them, sliced by them.My age grade will be the ones to run around to carry firewoods, and other important tthings.THIS IS PART IF THE REASON WHY THEY HAVE A LIST.ABI UNA NO DEY SEE CHEWING GUM AND POWDER INSIDE LIST? All this little things are actually not littllittle.What about the community of friends from the husband? They bring their own financial donations, some bring cartoon of wines, some volunteer to take up other pending expenses, etc.So you see, some of this igbo wedding/marriage really is majorly a communal preparation. 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Eluwilussit(m): 6:50pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Cut your cloth according to your size. The problem is not the church or customs. It has more to do with the individuals. Mr. & Mrs. A , want their wedding to be as loud as that of Mr. & Mrs. B. If a family accepts a man, they can't refuse whatever he has. Most families bend the rules. It is more or less fun, for both sides to bargain. It is not a war but more like a "friendly battle" of wits. Just agree with your spouse on what you can afford as a team. The rest would be easier. |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Empiree: 6:50pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
That's it. Parents have lots to do to fix this. This madness is not stopping anytime soon. This nonsense gives rise to homosexual, rape, masturbation, you name it. Yes, it keeps guys off for good. Another thing is men overseas seeing this kind of thing may be turned off. They would prefer to marry Akata or Oyinbo. Stress free from paying this and that in-laws. Very ridiculous! And then they blame the poor man for not coming back home. I have been hearing stories like for about 6yrs now. I thought it was a joke. Rapmoney: 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Reallymilky(f): 6:55pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
searching4love:This is why I kept telling you to get help! 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by jcflex(m): 6:58pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
pls, at everbody permit me to ask. cus most tym when issue of white wedding is raise I am always confuse. which is really a white wedding is it the church wedding or the court wedding. Type of wedding 1. customary wedding same as trad 2. court wedding 3. Religions wedding religious wedding further divide into 3 as well, which are christain wedding, muslim wedding and the trad which is base on your faith either Amadioha, sango, ogun what ever faith you have or the gods you belive in. back to white wedding, anywhere white wedding is been mention, most people take it to be church wedding, while few take it to be court wedding. now if we refer to church wedding as been white wedding, what about muslim wedding and the trads that they both belong to religion wedding. 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by willarrie(m): 6:59pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Marriage is a big Deal but apparently people are making the wedding ceremony[5hrs max] a bigger Deal Instead...After ur TM [Which is usually negotiable to siut ur budget],u are officially married,if u decide to do a white wedding,dts ur choice except u r marrying from a familly thats crazy about Show Off...I spent a fortune on mine even though i culd av pushed it aside...if i knew what i know now,i for save that money for biz...be wise 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by slap1(m): 7:00pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Rapmoney:It's shameful. I believe it's responsible for the high rate of cohabitation in our society. I see a Nigeria where youths will one day prise themselves from the negative stranglehold of such traditions and live more freely. These days people say it's not easy to get married, not because finding a good wife is hard but because 'buying' one is. I took pity on the guy that married my younger sister last year. I was there; I felt like telling the elders "Enough!" Sadly, a majority of the things on the list goes to the kinsmen who may have contributed nothing to the growth of the bride. It's high time we requested for an invoice after every marriage transaction. 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 7:00pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
It's just a Nigerian thing that has come to stay. Nigerians always chasing the very wrong things they lable PRIORITIES! Most do this to impress people they don't like and who cares less about them with money they don't even have. There is a big difference between Wedding and Marriage. Nigerians are more concerned with the wedding frenzy!!!! 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 7:07pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
HOTWATER:Oga, if you want change, go and meet Alhaji at the nearest bureau de change. ![]() |
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