Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by anukulapo: 9:46pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Truckpusher: It's not normal and this is what you get in a society where money answereth any prayer but the blame goes to the intending couples that sees it as a do or die affair and most at times the man is usually subtly pressured by the woman ,the wife-to-be after all her friends did some kind of big wedding but my final blame goes to the man who knows that he'd be the one bearing the brunt while the woman folds her legs only to open them and make babies like rats plunging the man into more chaos.
Have you bothered to ask why you have more widows in the society more than widowers? Na truck load of words you push come this thread o. Lolz. Anyways,na true you talk just that the thing mix with some serious harshness. 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by phil6262(m): 9:50pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
True talk! The bible recognizes traditional marriage, not white wedding. Unfortunately some cultures are notorious for high cost of bride price and other marriage requirements. May God deliver us from them in Jesus name! 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by mmsen: 10:01pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Ellababy808: U need to see how white people do their weding. Just 5 or 10 members of both families wit litle or no food or drink they are al hapy and fufiled. Get a free manual for stubborn chest pains and infections http://www.doublegandm.com/download.html A lot of 'white people' go overboard with their weddings - to the point where they begin married life deep in debt, which shortly leads to divorce. The weddings plus the 'honey moon' are often as wasteful as anything anywhere in the world. One reason why some might have fewer guests is because they are not as close to their extended family and tend to have much smaller social circles. 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Olufemiolaolu(m): 10:02pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
HoneySwag: Hmmmm see wat poverty is causin ooooooo. Work hard for success n u won't be rantin all these bullshit, instead u'll enjoy spendin money on expensive stuffs.... Ur head dey dere bimbo ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by BushidoBlue(m): 10:04pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Evina:
Ammyluv, if loving you will cost me 14 years in jail, I'd gladly pay the price. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png)
Honestly! And you need to attend the marriage classes organized by some churches to see how the counsellors and pastors do shakara. They even told us we MUST specially feed the pastors and ALL the church unit members!
If I had my way, NO white wedding! I have even told my vineyard that there will be no bride's maids, groom's men and asoebi!
In fact, when he told me how much he intended to spend, I reduced the budget by 50% and told him we would use the rest to open an account for our children's education/welfare.
I am very irritated at the thought of spending so much for a ceremony that wouldn't last more than a few hours. All those talk of you only wed once don't move me. There is a life after the wedding! Wow come let me marry you!!!!!! |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 10:14pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
ammyluv2002: Trash! White wedding is a waste of resources, it's not biblical. People need to be wise and stop chasing shadows. Paying of the woman's bride price is what expected of every male Christian to perform even the celebration after paying the dowry is a total waste, I don't subscribe to it. Any pastor that refuses to recognise a wedding done traditionally needs to be questioned if he truly understands the bible. I have really been following your movement against white wedding....lol thumbs up to traditional wedding |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by ammyluv2002(f): 10:20pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
authe911:
I have really been following your movement against white wedding....lol thumbs up to traditional wedding ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by duduade: 10:49pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
HoneySwag: Hmmmm see wat poverty is causin ooooooo. Work hard for success n u won't be rantin all these bullshit, instead u'll enjoy spendin money on expensive stuffs.... NO MIND ALL OF THEM O.. BROKE ASSSS ALL OF THEM.... |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Profkomolafe(m): 10:50pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Rapmoney: Going by the high demands and unnecessary conditions attached to marriage, many young men now see marriage as 'luxury'. They save and save and save over and over again, just to fulfill that cultural obligation! Omo, wetin dey happen sef? Which way? Is this part of our culture or just a social trend that was started by our society people. It has even become so annoying to learn that even among the middle class and the average citizens, the expectations are so high and outrageous!!! Just check out some of these:
1) You might be asked to buy boxes of clothes for the mother and probably, grandmother of the wife-to-be!!! What would her grandmother be needing box of clothes for? Will she wear them all before she finally tell the world 'good-bye?' Come to think of it, is the man getting married to the girl's mother or grandmother? ![](/faces/huh.png)
2) If you collect list finish, you go know say na 'egbegba' for the matter The fact is that, after fulfilling what's on the list and other things attached, the woman might still go out to bleep one of her ex-lover! Bride price or dowry should not be more than 1500 naira or at most, 2000 naira. After paying that, eating and drinking with family and friends (in a moderate way o!), the man and woman should be free to go their house and start their family. All this issue of eating and drinking as if there is no tomorrow, closing down an entire town or street, inviting every Tomide, Dike and Haruna is pure RUBBISH!!!
3) Why should I save for marriage as if I am paying for a land, house or car. Same woman that will stay in same house with me and which we will both give birth to children together? I don't get it!
This nonsense is making many young and ambitious men to be scared of marriage and even committed relationships!!!
Please, feel free to share your views.
my broda my broda, u re alwz speaking the mind of the gods. Sum gurlz dat knws nxt 2 ntin wil say d guy z stingy... Anygurl wey force me 2 eloborate wedding, d garri wey she go drink dy do press ups 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Vision4God: 10:51pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
KingsleyCEO: Foolishness is when you carry your life savings to celebrate marriage. My people, there is life after the ceremony na. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) Wat wud say bout ds? Hv a colleague hu is yet 2 marry due to d demand placed on him by d gal's piple. De hv bn dating 4 more dan 7yrs now. D gal's piple gav him a list he must settle (monetary wise & items 2 buy- d money involved is huge) b4 tinking of d wedin. His own family dmands are much not 2 evn talk of his fiance's family demand. |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Adaezeagu(f): 11:26pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
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Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by stan241(m): 11:30pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
My younger ones will always say I'm archaic when i say I'd prefer a court thingy with family and few very close friends that's all...I get that its a once in a life time stuff but it always looks so damn expensive especially when you know the couple involved don't have glamorous jobs...in my opinion I'd rather spend more on the honeymoon sef take her to one of this very lavish resorts instead of some crazy one day thing personally I'm not even a fan of weddings trad or white...you spend all that money contributed or otherwise and still be living in a one bedroom apartment... To me if she wants a big wedding then the expenses must be shared 50-50 its that simple and i also think social media and peer pressure contributes especially with the way this kids watch the kardashians these days |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by koyyess: 11:52pm On Feb 28, 2015 |
Kachisbarbie: You guys keep over-flogging this issue. Why don't you wait till you get to that bridge?
It's not usually as ridiculous as y'all make it look. I don't think there is any church that would wed you without proof that you have fulfilled the traditional rites.
Meaning? The traditional rites come first. Doing white wedding or whatever is just extra.
Bride-price this and that! Yet carpenters, shoemakers are marrying! They negotiate those lists. Except you just wan do big-boy for them - then you can pay all.
It's all about the couple. Especially ladies, cut your coat according to your size. If you have the money? Why not? Give yourself your fairytale wedding. The only intelligent post so far. 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by koyyess: 12:00am On Mar 01, 2015 |
jcflex: pls, at everbody permit me to ask.
cus most tym when issue of white wedding is raise I am always confuse.
which is really a white wedding is it the church wedding or the court wedding.
Type of wedding 1. customary wedding same as trad 2. court wedding 3. Religions wedding religious wedding further divide into 3 as well, which are christain wedding, muslim wedding and the trad which is base on your faith either Amadioha, sango, ogun what ever faith you have or the gods you belive in.
back to white wedding, anywhere white wedding is been mention, most people take it to be church wedding, while few take it to be court wedding.
now if we refer to church wedding as been white wedding, what about muslim wedding and the trads that they both belong to religion wedding.
You are very analytic in your reasoning...good job. Please, help me ask them. |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Rapmoney(m): 1:28am On Mar 01, 2015 |
Profkomolafe: my broda my broda, u re alwz speaking the mind of the gods. Sum gurlz dat knws nxt 2 ntin wil say d guy z stingy... Anygurl wey force me 2 eloborate wedding, d garri wey she go drink dy do press ups lol @garri and pressup |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Rapmoney(m): 1:31am On Mar 01, 2015 |
sophtaf: befor na free u wan carry her go ur Huz?d parent brought her into dis world n train her for u to c n wnt,d least u cn do for them is 2 do d needful must u feed the whole town before it could be regarded as marriage? |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Rapmoney(m): 1:39am On Mar 01, 2015 |
Truckpusher: It's not normal and this is what you get in a society where money answereth any prayer but the blame goes to the intending couples that sees it as a do or die affair and most at times the man is usually subtly pressured by the woman ,the wife-to-be after all her friends did some kind of big wedding but my final blame goes to the man who knows that he'd be the one bearing the brunt while the woman folds her legs only to open them and make babies like rats plunging the man into more chaos.
Have you bothered to ask why you have more widows in the society more than widowers? You have spoken well, my brother. |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by KingsleyCEO: 2:16am On Mar 01, 2015 |
Vision4God:
Wat wud say bout ds? Hv a colleague hu is yet 2 marry due to d demand placed on him by d gal's piple. De hv bn dating 4 more dan 7yrs now. D gal's piple gav him a list he must settle (monetary wise & items 2 buy- d money involved is huge) b4 tinking of d wedin.
His own family dmands are much not 2 evn talk of his fiance's familys demand. The real marriage is when both families OK the togetherness of their children, and if there be refreshment it can then go round during the acknowledgement of the two love birds affair. How can you throw a part worth close to a million and your bank account is not in millions? African men must wake up to reality, I'm not saying expensive celebration is a bad idea, what I'm only saying is that those who can't afford it should not be denied their desire. Issues like this are why corruption will continue to be glorified in this country. In my opinion the girls family should keep their daughter for Dangote's relatives. As for his own family that's heart breaking! |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by sophtaf(f): 8:07am On Mar 01, 2015 |
Rapmoney: must u feed the whole town before it could be regarded as marriage? its actually nt a bad idea cuz those ppl olso helpd one way or the other in raisin her too buh that's nt the case here.we talkin bout the items u'r to take to her parent and probably grandparent n I believe that has nth to do with feeding the"whole world" as u put it! |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Slimmos(m): 8:48am On Mar 01, 2015 |
Evina:
Ammyluv, if loving you will cost me 14 years in jail, I'd gladly pay the price. ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png)
Honestly! And you need to attend the marriage classes organized by some churches to see how the counsellors and pastors do shakara. They even told us we MUST specially feed the pastors and ALL the church unit members!
If I had my way, NO white wedding! I have even told my vineyard that there will be no bride's maids, groom's men and asoebi!
In fact, when he told me how much he intended to spend, I reduced the budget by 50% and told him we would use the rest to open an account for our children's education/welfare.
I am very irritated at the thought of spending so much for a ceremony that wouldn't last more than a few hours. All those talk of you only wed once don't move me. There is a life after the wedding! Jesus!!! i pray to have a wife or fiancee lyk u......if u give me ur younger sis...he no go bad oo....nice comment |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Slimmos(m): 8:57am On Mar 01, 2015 |
HoneySwag: Hmmmm see wat poverty is causin ooooooo. Work hard for success n u won't be rantin all these bullshit, instead u'll enjoy spendin money on expensive stuffs.... can u imagine, i viewed ur pix and i hav notin to say than to smh.... imagine dis ugly gold digging hoes talking about spending money on expensive tinz... for free self i wont marry u...going by ur dp |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 9:50am On Mar 01, 2015 |
HoneySwag:
Dats to uuuuuuu bt if u plan ur life n achiev success...u won't be complainin abt luxurious weddin Life is always a fairy tale when you are living on another person's income, parents, mostly. Take no offence, you'll understand this better when you leave home. @OP, The blame lies more on the side of the ladies and the couple's parents. Anyone that thinks MY wedding should be bigger than I want it to be should put down money. I'd rather invest my own money for/on my children. And talking of children, I think it is high time we reviewed the national policy on family planning as a tool to population control. Poor people popping children like no man's business, WTF!? Two is a good number abeg. 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Echikojuliet(f): 12:13pm On Mar 01, 2015 |
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Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by 100Cents: 12:16pm On Mar 01, 2015 |
Rapmoney: Going by the high demands and unnecessary conditions attached to marriage, many young men now see marriage as 'luxury'. They save and save and save over and over again, just to fulfill that cultural obligation! Omo, wetin dey happen sef? Which way? Is this part of our culture or just a social trend that was started by our society people. It has even become so annoying to learn that even among the middle class and the average citizens, the expectations are so high and outrageous!!! Just check out some of these:
1) You might be asked to buy boxes of clothes for the mother and probably, grandmother of the wife-to-be!!! What would her grandmother be needing box of clothes for? Will she wear them all before she finally tell the world 'good-bye?' Come to think of it, is the man getting married to the girl's mother or grandmother? ![](/faces/huh.png)
2) If you collect list finish, you go know say na 'egbegba' for the matter The fact is that, after fulfilling what's on the list and other things attached, the woman might still go out to bleep one of her ex-lover! Bride price or dowry should not be more than 1500 naira or at most, 2000 naira. After paying that, eating and drinking with family and friends (in a moderate way o!), the man and woman should be free to go their house and start their family. All this issue of eating and drinking as if there is no tomorrow, closing down an entire town or street, inviting every Tomide, Dike and Haruna is pure RUBBISH!!!
3) Why should I save for marriage as if I am paying for a land, house or car. Same woman that will stay in same house with me and which we will both give birth to children together? I don't get it!
This nonsense is making many young and ambitious men to be scared of marriage and even committed relationships!!!
Please, feel free to share your views.
Thank you for the out cry. I no send them o. 1 Like |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by 100Cents: 12:21pm On Mar 01, 2015 |
HoneySwag: Hmmmm see wat poverty is causin ooooooo. Work hard for success n u won't be rantin all these bullshit, instead u'll enjoy spendin money on expensive stuffs.... You are being fed so shut up on a topic you don't understand. |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by HoneySwag(f): 1:20pm On Mar 01, 2015 |
Slimmos: can u imagine, i viewed ur pix and i hav notin to say than to smh.... imagine dis ugly gold digging hoes talking about spending money on expensive tinz... for free self i wont marry u...going by ur dp Omg! Do u knw dat u insultd me? Wat d hell wil warant such,do u knw me b4... Don't ever in ur life insult me again cos am nt 1 of those gals u throw stupid words on |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 1:27pm On Mar 01, 2015 |
Rapmoney: Going by the high demands and unnecessary conditions attached to marriage, many young men now see marriage as 'luxury'. They save and save and save over and over again, just to fulfill that cultural obligation! Omo, wetin dey happen sef? Which way? Is this part of our culture or just a social trend that was started by our society people. It has even become so annoying to learn that even among the middle class and the average citizens, the expectations are so high and outrageous!!! Just check out some of these:
1) You might be asked to buy boxes of clothes for the mother and probably, grandmother of the wife-to-be!!! What would her grandmother be needing box of clothes for? Will she wear them all before she finally tell the world 'good-bye?' Come to think of it, is the man getting married to the girl's mother or grandmother? ![](/faces/huh.png)
2) If you collect list finish, you go know say na 'egbegba' for the matter The fact is that, after fulfilling what's on the list and other things attached, the woman might still go out to bleep one of her ex-lover! Bride price or dowry should not be more than 1500 naira or at most, 2000 naira. After paying that, eating and drinking with family and friends (in a moderate way o!), the man and woman should be free to go their house and start their family. All this issue of eating and drinking as if there is no tomorrow, closing down an entire town or street, inviting every Tomide, Dike and Haruna is pure RUBBISH!!!
3) Why should I save for marriage as if I am paying for a land, house or car. Same woman that will stay in same house with me and which we will both give birth to children together? I don't get it!
This nonsense is making many young and ambitious men to be scared of marriage and even committed relationships!!!
Please, feel free to share your views.
Go and read your,Bible ,Jacob worked 14 good years for his father in law in order to to marry his heartthrob Rachel and here you are complaining of a few george wrappers. |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by HoneySwag(f): 1:32pm On Mar 01, 2015 |
100Cents:
You are being fed so shut up on a topic you don't understand. Com n shut me up mr knw all ![tongue](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/tongue.png) 100Cents:
You are being fed so shut up on a topic you don't understand. Com n shut me up mr knw all |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by anthoniaz(f): 1:47pm On Mar 01, 2015 |
bukatyne: We need to balance wanting luxury (since the ceremony should be once in a lifetime) and cutting cost.
IMHO, spending so much for a gown, hairdo or makeup is ridiculous You are right. Make up=60k Hairdo =10k or even more than Gown =70k and above. Here is what I did during my wedding, I called a friend to help me style my hair that morning because my hair is my brazillian weavon ![grin](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/grin.png) I so love my hair that I can go a year without weavon or braids.The least amount I was told by people I contacted for make up, was 50k.I spent about 45k buying the things I need which will last me for more than a year and did my make up myself.I also did not buy my gown, I rented a gown. Even if the money is there, sometimes it's wise to cut cost.. I don't do what people say or think; I do what is best for me.Some them were like,"it's only one day"do this do that,"get a cheap brazillian weavon" and I said nooooooo. Some people spend big money for make up and gown and end up with a ring of 5k which won't last a month before it changes colour. 2 Likes |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by derato: 1:59pm On Mar 01, 2015 |
Dowry for father is 200k Dowry for mother 150k. |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Nobody: 2:04pm On Mar 01, 2015 |
Na wao ![cry](https://www.nairaland.com/faces/cry.gif) |
Re: How Marriage Has Become A Luxury In Nigeria by Lennylinconlee(m): 3:31pm On Mar 01, 2015 |
Rapmoney:
I once argued why Africans engage in white wedding on this forum. I was almost consumed by e-warriors! Guy u make me laff away my sorrow dis first day of the mnth.........you mean we have e-warriors in nairaland........laffin in grandstyle 1 Like |