Truckpusher:
*Spreads mat and listening to women complain all day*

Am telling ya dude!
My goodness!
They NEVER get tired!

If she was the one earning more now you would have heard them clamouring for the man's head, why cant he move, why are men so selfish, they thot cos she's abroad she'll be earning more...now that they see its hussie that earns more pay it has suddenly become a 'tough decision' LMAO



By the way, I rarely quote kanwuli..(I dey fear am shege!) but she has a point. Has anyone even bothered to ask if the man feels the same way about the separation?

And now, because its long distance marriage...and of course men must be men...it is suddenly popping up and being suggested that the man must be selfish to want her to make such a move, even though he earns more. Also the man must be harbouring a woman in Nigeria since men cant stay 1hr without a woman by thier side. No one has mentioned if she has a boyfriend by the side in the UK after all her bodi too no be firewood...hilarious and presumptuous.


Missessay before this thread is over some of these 'women' would have put so much doubt and fear in you that even when you travel to Nigeria you'll travel prepared for war instead of your original purpose which was to put the spark back in your marriage. See them wishing you 'plenty of luck' already!

Miss, I advice you call your beloved husband and TALK TO HIM about your fears and worries! He is the one who you are moving in with and not the painted picture some people are giving you here. If you have financial issues then discuss with him. If you are looking for a job or a business then look to him for support. He is your better half and soulmate after all!

















Or isn't he?

Missysessay, I'll advice u to save up and come back to avoid a broken home. You can do a business here if u can handle it. It's definitely not easy for ur hubby to be alone #Body no be wood#

Misssessay:


Ah ah you're kidding!

A modern day dilemma - apart from the illegal immigration and sexual harassment

Hope they had a happy ending too

They didn't o, she started cheating on her husband and she got deported, it was even the boss that reported her to the immigration officers when she decided to call it quits with him.


That aside, I think you should ask your husband to help you look for a job, save well also and prepare to come back. Keeping your home should be a priority, distance isn't always a good thing.

dynamicbuzz:


They didn't o, she started cheating on her husband and she got deported, it was even the boss that reported her to the immigration officers when she decided to call it quits with him.


That aside, I think you should ask your husband to help you look for a job, save well also and prepare to come back. Keeping your home should be a priority, distance isn't always a good thing.

Hmmmmmm let me not lie that story line dies not seem appealing at all

Point taken - guess is all abt trying to make it work out now

5minsmadness:

Am telling ya dude!
My goodness!
They NEVER get tired!

If she was the one earning more now you would have heard them clamouring for the man's head, why cant he move, why are men so selfish, they thot cos she's abroad she'll be earning more...now that they see its hussie that earns more pay it has suddenly become a 'tough decision' LMAO



By the way, I rarely quote kanwuli..(I dey fear am shege!) but she has a point. Has anyone even bothered to ask if the man feels the same way about the separation?

What's this one saying? Empty head!

KanwuliaJara:
Welcome to open marriage part 2!

OP'm?
I don't think you are using your head at full capacity.
WHAT ARE YOU SACRIFICING?

The only thing I can see being sacrificed "wisdom"!

According to you oooooooh. . . . . . .

1. The spark has fizzzzzzled(if there was any spark in the first place? I think not!)
2. You can't stand the separation, even when the dude is clearly enjoying the separation.
3. You are seeking advice from the 'misery love company' in the same group to console yourself that things will get better?
4. You want to give up your financial/professional independence for a man who cannot do the same(what makes you think the dude will prefer to come over to the UK to work in factories because of LOVE?)

Separation in marriage can only survive in the latter stages of marriage. . . .AFTER A GOOD SOLID 10 YEARS OR MORE. . . . .After the foundation has been built on commitment, if not love and respect.

I doubt the marriage will have any future even if you choose to move closer to be with your husband or vice versa. 3 years of marriage and living like strangers?

Sounds like a marriage 'by force' or 'convenience'!

Na which kain marriage be dis?





I don put 'mutt' o. . . . .

Accurate!
You are one wise woman. Can we fucck?

Very confused women giving the op advice

oP..
Can you take a sabbatical from your work place
Or unpaid leave of absence
You can use the time to study an online course

Be positive...
You may use the time to bond well and hubby nay still want you guys back in the UK so he can raise the kids in a saner environment

5minsmadness:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I had to laugh at this..

It must be really really rocket-science hard to type a comment that addresses an OP's concern even if it is totally off point.
At least a lame attempt at trying to help a worried poster would make more sense than lurking around in the shadows waiting for others to comment and then come riding the horse of foolishness on the back of other posters to attack those who tried the little they could.
And for what reason? one wonders. Is there really a reason for this mind-numbing imbecility?

.

You signed up for this, marriage is about sacrifices. I hope you can take your relocation process on step at a time to rekindle the spark in your marriage. It's all worth it for a man who's not trying to hide you abroad like we always read here.

Good luck dear.

NickiRoman:
Hmmmn,Am not in the category to give advice concerning this issue,but let me the attention of those who can.
KanwuliaJara
Sambarry
[code][/code]
Your advice are needed here.

Are you joking?

Op looking at the situation in Nigeria working out there would only help your finances so i would suggest that both of you should sit down and discuss....

I did and I don't regret doing it I will post when I am less busy,but you can send me an email too if you want-I won't mind giving you a call

Giving up all you have to relocate in different countries have different advantages and disadvantages.

I can relocate from Nigeria to join my husband abroad knowing fully well no matter what happens, I will survive. Sane environment for the kids, job, law that favors all you put in the marriage,security, benefits etc.

Relocating from same country to jungle Nigeria, where you will struggle with 80% jobless individuals for 30,000naira job (a master's degree holder had this ).
If the man decides to misbehave, na only you go carry your loads Waka. They will even take the children from you. Pursue you from house.


Yes oh, I'm looking at the disadvantages, let others cover the advantage.


If you don't mind these, carry your loads enter plane go join yyour omalicha

cococandy:
It must be really really rocket-science hard to type a comment that addresses an OP's concern even if it is totally off point.
At least a lame attempt at trying to help a worried poster would make more sense than lurking around in the shadows waiting for others to comment and then come riding the horse of foolishness on the back of other posters to attack those who tried the little they could.
And for what reason? one wonders. Is there really a reason for this mind-numbing imbecility?

Blame it on 21million Nigerians with mental case.

This OP must be selfish and those bossy type of women.you expect your husband to quit his job and come over to be your house boy? So you can treat him like trsh just like others do? Smh

5minsmadness:
And now, because its long distance marriage...and of course men must be men...it is suddenly popping up and being suggested that the man must be selfish to want her to make such a move, even though he earns more. Also the man must be harbouring a woman in Nigeria since men cant stay 1hr without a woman by thier side. No one has mentioned if she has a boyfriend by the side in the UK after all her bodi too no be firewood...hilarious and presumptuous.


e?

I dey tell you my guy!
That's the first thing I've been expecting to see from them.they'll be quick to tell you that the man has a woman wherever he is and they forgot that the OP may also have a boyfriend over there.hence,her refusal to come back.

I just hope her husband doesn't make the same mistake another nigerian man made when he quited his lucrative job to join his wife(a doctor) in the states where he was treated like trash,pissed on and cheated on.at the end of the day,both men and women blamed and called him mumu for quiting his job.

Chillisauce:
Giving up all you have to relocate in different countries have different advantages and disadvantages.

I can relocate from Nigeria to join my husband abroad knowing fully well no matter what happens, I will survive. Sane environment for the kids, job, law that favors all you put in the marriage,security, benefits etc.

Relocating from same country to jungle Nigeria, where you will struggle with 80% jobless individuals for 30,000naira job (a master's degree holder had this ).
If the man decides to misbehave, na only you go carry your loads Waka. They will even take the children from you. Pursue you from house.


Yes oh, I'm looking at the disadvantages, let others cover the advantage.


If you don't mind these, carry your loads enter plane go join yyour omalicha

The OP is not replying us

I am even more concerned about her husband's attitude to finance

If her husband is not willing to share finances or put her on a earning till she finds her feet, then there might be a problem

edwife:
I did and I don't regret doing it I will post when I am less busy,but you can send me an email too if you want-I won't mind giving you a call

I think it is easier to relocate abroad than to relocate to Nigeria

bukatyne:


The OP is not replying us

I am even more concerned about her husband's attitude to finance

If her husband is not willing to share finances or put her on a earning till she finds her feet, then there might be a problem

Sure.
At least that will be his own sacrifice. Abi na only one person dey make sacrifice

bukatyne:


I think it is easier to relocate abroad than to relocate to Nigeria

I was abroad and relocated in imo State after marriage,then back abroad after some years

edwife:


I was abroad and relocated in imo State after marriage,then back abroad after some years

My bad

Then your experience would be good for the OP and how you both handled finances

Chillisauce:


Sure.
At least that will be his own sacrifice. Abi na only one person dey make sacrifice

I am sure if they both discuss it, they will reach a middle ground

My fear is that she is not a nigerian.
Who will have her back when it starts?

She has been given an altimatum by d family.
Does this ring a bell?
3yrs into d marriage and no pikin yet.

It's good to join hussy but I'm not too comfy yet I wish her the best.

A nigerian relocating from abroad to join hussy in naija is very diff from a foreigner doing so.
Naija is very tough.
Everybody snuffs into ur matter.
Her orientation and adaptation level will not be d same with ours.


Everything fall back on her hubby.
Honestly wish her well.

edwife:


I was abroad and relocated in imo State after marriage,then back abroad after some years

OP knows him better than anyone. She should make a choice and go ahead with it.

It didnt work for some , it works for others.
Same as Long distance marriage. Many politicians and oil executive practice this. They leave their family in saner place, while working in different country.

pickabeau1:
oP..
Can you take a sabbatical from your work place
Or unpaid leave of absence
You can use the time to study an online course
Be positive...
You may use the time to bond well and hubby nay still want you guys back in the UK so he can raise the kids in a saner environment

Nice too. Let them bond, if the bond no gree hold, she can do the next best available thing.
It's not the end of life

Chillisauce:


Blame it on 21million Nigerians with mental case.

Where did u get this ur mental case stat from chillisauce
So I might be insane too?
Abasi mkpo!
Plus including and adding u!

moca:
My fear is that she is not a nigerian.
Who will have her back when it starts?

She has been given an altimatum by d family.
Does this ring a bell?
3yrs into d marriage and no pikin yet.

It's good to join hussy but I'm not too comfy yet I wish her the best.

A nigerian relocating from abroad to join hussy in naija is very diff from a foreigner doing so.
Naija is very tough.
Everybody snuffs into ur matter.
Her orientation and adaptation level will not be d same with ours.


Everything fall back on her hubby.
Honestly wish her well.

The red bra and black pant nairaland crew

pickabeau1:
oP..
Can you take a sabbatical from your work place
Or unpaid leave of absence
You can use the time to study an online course

Be positive...
You may use the time to bond well and hubby nay still want you guys back in the UK so he can raise the kids in a saner environment







I had to laugh at this..

Very good point.
D best so far.

Chillisauce:


The red bra and black pant nairaland crew

!
Abeg I'm eating o!

moca:

Where did u get this ur mental case stat from chillisauce
So I might be insane too?
Abasi mkpo!
Plus including and adding u!

It was on the news from vanguard or punch newspaper.

It was even on nairaland front page.

No kidding.
Of cos you are not, but look around this website and tell me you can't identify at least 5 in every front page thread on the first page.

KanwuliaJara:
Welcome to open marriage part 2!

OP'm?
I don't think you are using your head at full capacity.
WHAT ARE YOU SACRIFICING?

The only thing I can see being sacrificed "wisdom"!

According to you oooooooh. . . . . . .

1. The spark has fizzzzzzled(if there was any spark in the first place? I think not!)
2. You can't stand the separation, even when the dude is clearly enjoying the separation.
3. You are seeking advice from the 'misery love company' in the same group to console yourself that things will get better?
4. You want to give up your financial/professional independence for a man who cannot do the same(what makes you think the dude will prefer to come over to the UK to work in factories because of LOVE?)

Separation in marriage can only survive in the latter stages of marriage. . . .AFTER A GOOD SOLID 10 YEARS OR MORE. . . . .After the foundation has been built on commitment, if not love and respect.

I doubt the marriage will have any future even if you choose to move closer to be with your husband or vice versa. 3 years of marriage and living like strangers?

Sounds like a marriage 'by force' or 'convenience'!

Na which kain marriage be dis?


Lis





I don put 'mutt' o. . . . .

Agree totally with the above.

Something telly you it might be wrong and you better listen to that voice.

In Nigeria there is no social security. No way you can survive if the man kicks you out and you do not have a job.

An influential man can even take your kid`s from you and kick you out. Nothing you can do about it.
You will be very dependent on him. At his mercy.
That is not good for a healthy relationship.

Nigerian marriages are very much family marriages and if yo don`t have a family it can be hell.

It could work out but it could be hell.