Hello Romancelanders,

I am in dire need of serious, unbiased advice to avert making a lifelong mistake. Serious comments only please, no trolls, judgemental people, immature guys and girls, religious extreemists NOT allowed in here.

Im a young lady, 27 years of age, have a nice job in a good company, very goodlooking. The reason for this description is to give a background to my plight.

I'm at that phase in my life where im ready to start a family. I always imagined that i would meet a guy randomly, fall in love and get married, but that has not been the case. With age, i learnt that marriage is not a fairytail and that one must think thoroughly, and venture with the head and the heart.

I have a guy whom ive dated on and off for 2 years and hes asked me to marry him a couple of times. We are very good friends, we have a certain kind of understanding, his family likes me, we share the same beliefs, ideologies and outlook on life. He can trek from berger to ojuelegba is that would make me happy.

However, we are not sexuall.y compatible. i mean the se.x is nothing to write home about. Ive tried many times to help him out, tell him what to do, etc but he never ever gets it right. That is a major issue for me. Hes also not so physically attractive, but im ok with his looks.

Im confused because i have a lot of other men flocking around me, showing indications of seriousness, but you know what they say about the devil you know and the angel you dont know.

I need advice please

Thank you

lol@ d ftc

@OP
ask urself this questions

what do u really want in a man?
can i cope with him lyk this?
What other alternatives do i have?
What are the disadvantages in dat alternative?
Can i also cope with dem?
What is God telling me about the whole issue??

After answering the questions, then You have ur anwer...










GOOD LUCK

Thannks zedx5 for your contribution, remember, i said no judgements, advice only.

I have nothing to say, especially since I campaign for chastity. Believe me for a man you will be spending the rest of your life with, you have all the time in the world to teach. Believing that he is willing to learn, plus the willingness to please you.
You will be amazed at how good he turned out.
So my advice is: The main source of unhappiness is trading what you need most in life for what you want now.

You can't afford to let him go!

Maybe you are not sexually attractive to him, what i will advice you to do is; whenever you are with him, always reveal to him the things you gat, not that you should be naked oooo
jez try to be seductive and i promise you that his manhood will rise 7feets above the ground level and will eventually need an account to keep his savings

you grab?

Eyaaaa...maybe d dick is too small, let him go for enlargement na

Marriage is more than S E X.

As someone once told me, what singles are crazy about before marriage (sex) and think that is what marriage is all about, you will be amazed to discover that those of us that are married are not that crazy about it.

If you have to dump him because of sex, you may have to dump several others on other issues too.

Marriage should be enjoyed but ROME was not built in a day. Ever wondered how someone who could not walk suddenly outruns a dog? TIME changes all things.

Marriage is more than S E X.

As a married man once told me, what singles are crazy about before marriage (sex) and think is what marriage is all about, they will be amazed to discover that it is just an element of marriage and not even the bedrock of it. He further reiterated that those of them that are married are not that crazy about what singles can die for ie. S E X. Where kids, bills, appointments, career development and extended families are there buy their time.

However, marriage is to be ENJOYED not ENDURED, if you are not convinced, do not try to convince as you will end up CONFUSING yourself. From personally experience, I discovered that most times, our minds are made up before we seek advise, we are only looking for someone to endorse our decision.

My advise #FOLLOWyourMIND but go along with your brains

On a lighter note: Who say make you go taste the forbidden fruit self?

he guy even wan learn from you.my sister what are I waiting for ?marry him oooo.or elsh

Op, Why is the relationship on and off? Is it because of his performance?

You should look into why it's on and off before proceeding. Mariage is a serious thing, so it won't be easy to do "on and off".

Back to the topic, if you are not okay with him, you better take a walk. You don't want to cheat on him in future, do you?
Hope am not being judgemental.

Use your head cause love can change.
If you belief marrying him wouldn't make you want to commit adultery in the nearest future you can go ahead. If not try waiting for the right man

First , you need to improve on your writing skills before we can address your points.

Second, what denomination do you belong? I mean where do you worship?

Third, describe your physique. I mean give a vivid description of your physical shape? This is important to compare with the demands of the market at this point.

Fourth, 27 years of age is way to young to enter into marriage. From your expression, it suggests that you want to go into that institution due to peer pressures and societal expectations.

Fifth, your argument about an angel and devil is not ideal in this context. If I get you, it appears that you want someone else but urgently require approval from Nairalanders to engage in such unholy act.

By the way, don't you think it is sin to engage in an illicit affair with a man whom you are not married to

in christendom...dy dnt believe in sex b4 marriage.
Cos
na God dy choose a spouse for you.
Meaning the person who created you created you in twos. And you go back to him to help you find your second.
Op.. No. 1.. He was,is never your hubby.
Luks strange BUT if God selects and qives you your wifey, she would be compatible with you allrounder.
Xo no nid havinq sex b4 marriage..
Itz unnecessary.

Ok, i wuz ere

Sex, there is a reason why the bible is against Fornication.

Na Iranu dey worry you.

You are looking for a man that will give you Christian Grey kind of sex but will be nothing to write home about as long as being a husband is concerned eh?

Please, drop his number so that women who are "REALLY" looking for good men to marry can grab him.

Hmmm.mm.I feel your pain my sister.This sex of a thing na wire o.I will tell you a true story, although, I go add small small kpomo to spice it up.
*clears her throat, grabs carrot*



So whenever we have a fight and he calls me "Crazy girl", I just go close to face him with that venomous words that defeats him each time,"with this thing you have hanging there btw your legs, you better I don't see you standing where men are queuing! "

And so life must go on..We parted ways.The seex was quite terrible. It was such a relief.AMe Abeg make I enter broken bottle level. Na so so the language full my phone vocabulary.



So I met this dude two years before and we talk quite often. He is not based in nigeria and so we had a bond which lasted for a long time.He came back and we decided to hook up, he so nice and I felt I needed to have another relationship. So that fateful day, Na so my friends prepare me well a. They had my fav hair done, nails painted et al.I was happy, I really want to see this guy again. I felt everything will be ok.Na so I carry my hand bag move from school, I no no say na slaughter house I dey go .We met, jisted, smiled at each other and so it was like fireworks.Back in our hotel room, I was watching the TV, when he stepped out of the shower room on a bath robe.While he read, I watched him.Very calm guy, good looking and I felt something down there. I mean down down there.I still still dey survey the guy, he made a quick move to adjust himself, that was when thunder s trucked.I adjusted myself too to get a clearer view, close one of my eyes so I go see the thing clearly.I looked again .Nwe tieeeeeeeeeeee olololo oooooooooooooo .Nawgu uuuuuuu biko nu bia na uuuuuu uuuuuu eeeeeeeh. Ndu b' anyi bia zopute ada unu nwanyi oooooooooooooo.Okwanu ije di!He didn't notice my discomfort as he was still seated there engrossed in whatever he was reading.


My escape plan.I sent my best friend a message telling her to call me in panic, telling my elder brother is critical ill and needs my attention back in the hostel.
"Oh my God I have to rush back to school, my brother is critically ill . Please I have to go" I said after I received what appeared to be a frantic call.In attempt to calm me down, and I my own attempt to act up, I mistakenly held his gown and saw what appears to be A BIG LIVE BOA.NNa so I burst cry.Chineke biko, okwanu onwuwa!!!!!!!!!

My trip back to school was filled with untold quietness. I humbled myself inside the Taxi cab.Bavk at the hostels my friends who knew how much I anticipated the meeting stood around me, na so I just carry pillow put under my head dey look my ceiling fan.

You see my sister, in search of what appears to be 'breakthrough ', you might end up getting more than what you bargained for.I advice you give your man sometime to' arrive' since he appears to be a good husband material in the heart.

bellamafia:
We are very good friends, we have a certain kind of understanding, his family likes me, we share the same beliefs, ideologies and outlook on life. He can trek from berger to ojuelegba is that would make me happy.

Trolls never heed to warnings mind you.

I searched your write-up for the bold and luckily I saw it and I say you don't have any problems.

The guys who know their onions in sexiology yet lack the friendship and love needed in a marriage are more than those who are novice in sex but can make good friends and love well.

I repeat you don't have any problem, you can always teach him but don't you think you will need to review your teaching methods?

Hnmm

r ubbish

LadyX:
Op, Why is the relationship on and off? Is it because of his performance?

You should look into why it's on and off before proceeding. Mariage is a serious thing, so it won't be easy to do "on and off".

Back to the topic, if you are not okay with him, you better take a walk. You don't want to cheat on him in future, do you?
Hope am not being judgemental.

This is the thought that keeps running through my mind, its a lifelong commitment.

Issoryt

Thinking

Head

You can never satisfy them shaaaa........!!!

The sexual incompatibility is something that u should least consider prior marriage. Remember, u just can't get it all. Perhaps, his orientation towards the sex ish will gradually unfold. Just give him time and try to endure. You're very lucky to have a man with such features (which u mentioned), sex shouldn't be a basic for your acceptance to tie the knot.

The truth is....

U can't get it all!

Those saying she should go ahead and marry him are NOT giving sound advice. Se.x IS important in marriage. Even with someone you're sexually compatible with sex is boring in marriage which often leads to infidelity, now let alone with someone you have a problem with from the start.

But I cannot advise you to give up him either since I don't know the nature of the problem you have with him - whether it is something that can be fixed or not. Do you care to share? It also depends on how important sex is to you since these things vary with individuals.

If sex is the only problem you have, then you should have married him already...

Or have you been banging the other guys too...

Look, marry him now, and the sex will definitely improve, at least you didn't say he was impotent...

From your descriotion, he is your dream guy.... I just hope your sexual fantasies doesn't ruin your happiness.

bellamafia:
Hello Romancelanders,

I am in dire need of serious, unbiased advice to avert making a lifelong mistake. Serious comments only please, no trolls, judgemental people, immature guys and girls, religious extreemists NOT allowed in here.

Im a young lady, 27 years of age, have a nice job in a good company, very goodlooking. The reason for this description is to give a background to my plight.

I'm at that phase in my life where im ready to start a family. I always imagined that i would meet a guy randomly, fall in love and get married, but that has not been the case. With age, i learnt that marriage is not a fairytail and that one must think thoroughly, and venture with the head and the heart.

I have a guy whom ive dated on and off for 2 years and hes asked me to marry him a couple of times. We are very good friends, we have a certain kind of understanding, his family likes me, we share the same beliefs, ideologies and outlook on life. He can trek from berger to ojuelegba is that would make me happy.

However, we are not sexuall.y compatible. i mean the se.x is nothing to write home about. Ive tried many times to help him out, tell him what to do, etc but he never ever gets it right. That is a major issue for me. Hes also not so physically attractive, but im ok with his looks.

Im confused because i have a lot of other men flocking around me, showing indications of seriousness, but you know what they say about the devil you know and the angel you dont know.

I need advice please

Thank you

I know you. I will surely report this madness to my cousin.

I'm totally disappointed that you could bring your personal issues to this forum for the world to see.

Women are wicked!

The only thing I can say is go with your heart. Sex might not be everything, but it is LARGE PART of it. Look at it like a pie. How would you feel if the parlour delivered pizza to you with three slices missing? Don't be deceived, your guy he fulfills all you need in a FRIEND... the BIG difference between a FRIEND and a HUSBAND is moaning time in the secret chamber. If it goes wrong, it all goes wrong!