This article was written by Mayo Bayo,not me

During my short stay in Nigeria, on my bucket list
was to catch up with the latest movies at the
cinema. The movie ‘Half Of The Yellow Sun‘ was
the first I wanted to watch as I had already read the
novel so I was keen to see the movie. I bought my
ticket at the Film House Cinemas in Surulere. A
movie was 1500 Naira, a quite reasonable price,
comparing with the price in other parts of the
world.
Watching movies at the cinema for Nigerians is still
not a culture but a thing people see as some sort of
luxury; just like how a lot of people come specially
to take picture at ShopRite supermarket instead of
shopping (that’s a gist for another day).
So you find a lot of disgusting behaviors around,
well not all is peculiar to Nigerian cinemas
though. I went to 3 different cinemas during my
stay and each had these 10 categories of people:

• The Commentator
As Chiwetel Ejiofor, who played the role of Odenigbo
was looking into the Olanna’s eye, a romantic scene
was building up already… next thing was this loud
guy in the middle row of the cinema hall shouting,
“Correct guy! I dey feel you joo!. Kiss am, you too
dey form jare! You just dey dull”. At this moment I
felt like punching this dude right on his balls. His
loud outburst just kept interrupting my favorite
scenes. To himself he was whispering, to me he was
just another loud jerk. Like why now, this is not a
football match we don’t need your commentary!

• Loud Chewer
Popcorn and movies go hand in hand, I can’t say
the origin. It’s a tradition everywhere in the world
but do you have to chew out loud like a
Sokotogudali cattle. I have seen your popcorn, do I
have to hear it too?

• The Leg Stretcher
I was still wondering where the smell was coming
from, only to see some dude with his leg close to my
nose killing it softly with his stinky socks. You have
legs, the length of Zamfara’s sugar cane, why not
just position them to your row and not stretch them
towards my seat?

• He who laughs last …
Laughs best they say, but that was not the case for
this guy that sat on the row before mine. 60secs
after the scene this dude is still HAHA-ing! Ok that
scene was funny, yes and we all laughed so can you
now shut up so that we can hear what’s coming
next?

• The Questioner
“Chairman please what did he just say that was
funny? ” I was like what the hell, did I pay to come
narrate movies, or what are your satellite dish ears
made for? Ok I didn’t say that, else I would have
been writing this post from a hospital bed. You need
to see the guy’s biceps.

• The Crying baby
I was smiling at the large screen and sipping my
Pepsi … and all of a sudden this baby starts bawling
its lungs out, I cringed at the noise. Why do some
mothers bring their baby to the cinema? Why not
just sit in your house and enjoy a DVD movie with
your family? Stop torturing the poor kid with high
Dolby surround sound from those gigantic speakers.

• Armrest Mafia
You remember the questioner I told you about at the
earlier? Yes the one with biceps the size of two big
gwari yam tubers tied together. His biceps were
spread all over the arm rest like a mat. I couldn’t
even find space to put my broom stick looking arms.

• The Caller
“Wale how far, I dey Ozone, I dey watch movie I go
call you later ”. Despite the switch off your phone
during movie warning, this dude kept picking calls
in the middle of the movie. When will some
Nigerians learn to turn their phone off during a
movie or put it on vibration?

• The chatty couple
They were talking like they were in their bed room.
And for whatever reason this Romeo and Juliet sat
right next to me as if the theatre was running out of
seats – save the chat for after the movie.

• Selfie Addict
At the cinema at Ikeja Mall, I witnessed a girl take at
least 5 pictures of herself at a go making the
annoying duck face. I was already seething with
anger as the guy next to me came with his family
and yep, you guessed right, they started their
picture sessions too!


http://www.stephaniedaily.com/10-annoying-things-nigerians-do-in-cinemas/

I call it: low level insurgency...

I don't like d loud chewer

Ohh, sorry... So you were surrounded by all these people.. ? and you still stayed to finished the movie?
.. you another category of Nigerian...
I must finish my money

lol, na naija we dey joor

Interesting and true. If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. Some would say when in Rome do as the Romans do .

So true. The writer didn't add the 'excessive PDA couple'. Sometimes you go to the cinema and you'd meet a couple that would spend d whole movie practically licking each other's face off. I just wonder; Why not wait until you get home or at least pick a seat at d far end of d room where you won't distract people with your own different film.
The worst part is; if you try to caution them you are automatically termed a 'loveless hater'.

Funny but true

Piracy go gree us go cinema? Cos new films hit ""market"" even before the cinema guys get it.

diddydiva:
Funny but true

you again?

handsomeness:
you again?

I don't go to cinema, I just wait for alaba's copy of the movie

I hv seen this topic a number of times on nairaland

What about Team Fart!?

CINEMA!!!



















Mi o raye iranu.....

If u want privacy, chill for pirated copy or betta still buy d original one and go home. Even banks dat givs instruction to off phones we still never listen, its now ordinary cinema.. Ndi ara.. We gats flex d money we paid na.

You forgot the "Secret Lovers"

They thinks that the light is dark enough to hid their amorous activities but you keep hearing stifled moans in between

@op 1500 is pretty expensive compare to the western world o...
when you're a university student you pay less than 1,000 (according to Nigeria currency) if not you pay like 1300. this one na wetin I see with my own eyes o.

uchebest2006:
I hv see this topic a number of times on nairaland

*english error*

Nothing beats the caller. Very annoying

....

Thatz why we call Nigerians

We know.



But how many times will these kinda shit be posted on frontpage. This has been on frontpage before na.

Dat the fun.... Try sport center u will be trilled

SkinnyDude:
*english error*

Tank you for that...u shld hv make the right correction