I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult.

Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult. Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

jamb question.

Hmnn

Ahen

Often times, the woman is usually required to change churches once she gets married. The exception being if the man was never religious or churchy....but my sister for the sake of peace, try to reach a compromise.

I know of a couple....the woman attends my church, her husband is an elder in another church. The man comes over to every of my church's special programs, the lady does likewise. The ball is in your court.....but hope u know kids will be involved sooner or later?

Make e marry you first. This one na small tori

His people shall be your people, his church shall be your church, his God shall be your God( hopefully, you already serve the same God), etc...

End of discussion.

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult. Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

If you know that your church is very important and you both do not reach a compromise, Please forget the marriage

I wonder when Some men would learn the art of persuasion

So when you get married you want to attend a different church right?is he worshiping a lesser God in his church or is there a network connection that makes prayer get to God faster in ur church,cos i dont think God uses network to hear,u just have a common nigerian issue too,muslims and christians hardly go into marriage together due to religion differences...,now you in a christian to christian relationship is having issue just because of differences in place of worship,are you worshiping the church or God?do they mark register in your church?did ur pastor meet his wife (who am sure stands/sits on the alter with him every sunday)in his church before marriage?i dont know how many of u christians think?church to worship shouldnt be an issue,if u trully love your man and you take his as ur bone of bone like your pastor wil tel u when your wedding,,i dont see why you would want to go seperately to church,imagine attending church a day after wedding people start asking where is ur husband ...and if u feel you have ur church click/members that u still want to be see-ing,then you guys can make it two sundays in your church and two in his'....anyhow how it suits you.....and if u feel because he wants u to attend his church when u marry,means he doesnt love then goodluck,break up with him,that ur church brother will come soon,and if he doesnt and u clock 30, ,please dont come to nl to shed mgeke tears and open threads on" please how do i find the right man":-D :-Dansa= HE Is by the left

Mtsheeew

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take.

I don't think so ma.After marriage,such decisions won't be just YOURS to take anymore. It would be a joint one .At least,It is supposed to be.

And that religion is a very personal issue,it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult.

Aren't you both Christians?
....and it's not like he's decided for you yet . He's laying his cards on the table which means you both get to talk about it but you don't seem like you even want to listen/reason with him.

Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

You are being strong-headed over something that can be reasoned out.

Why should you attend a different church from your husband? You aren't going to serve the pastor but God, follow your husband to his church biko, it's little things like this that cause problems in Marriages.

Ur case remind me of a friend hu's marriage was dlayed by same issue. D lady said she cant marry in d guys church, likewise my friend.
Finally settled 4 a neutral church After months of disagreement.
(buh d pastor made dem sign dat de are automatically his members if he joins dem).
Funny!!

firstEVA:
Why should you attend a different church from your husband? You aren't going to serve the pastor but God, follow your husband to his church biko, it's little things like this that cause problems in Marriages.

What if I'm not feeling the presence of God in his church? Will I continue like that for the rest of my life?

Joy1706:

What if I'm not feeling the presence of God in his church? Will I continue like that for the rest of my life?

you can try to convince him to join your own church, but if he says no, follow him to his church and begin to feel the presence of God. If your hubby is feeling God's presence, I wonder why you won't feel it.

Joy1706:

What if I'm not feeling the presence of God in his church? Will I continue like that for the rest of my life?

stay at home......
there are thousands of church services beamed on TV every sunday. it's not until you are physically present in the church....you can receive blessings anywhere you are. if you can't go to his church, leave the innocent man alone right now. go & find a doormat partner that would dance to your tune.

coogar:


stay at home......
there are thousands of church services beamed on TV every sunday. it's not until you are physically present in the church to receive blessings. if you can't go to his church, leave the innocent man alone right now. go & find a doormat partner that would dance to your tune.

Well done! Am I asking him to leave his church and join mine? Why can't I worship in the church I want and he in his?

firstEVA:
you can try to convince him to join your own church, but if he says no, follow him to his church and begin to feel the presence of God. If your hubby is feeling God's presence, I wonder why you won't feel it.

I must not be on the same spiritual level as my spouse

Joy1706:

Well done! Am I asking him to leave his church and join mine? Why can't I worship in the church I want and he in his?

because marriage is a union, not a division! it doesn't appear you understand what marriage is. i think you should wait 6 more years before you marry so you can grasp the concept.

Joy1706:

I must be on the same spiritual level as my spouse

hmmmm, maybe you should ask your self if you are ready to marry this guy, it's better not to be married than to marry and divorce later due to irreconcilable differences.

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult. Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

I think you are not ready to get married yet,so my advice is to wait until you are matured enough to be a wife

coogar:


because marriage is a union, not a division! it doesn't appear you understand what marriage is. i think you should wait 6 more years before you marry so you can grasp the concept.

Please! You and I both know that worshipping in the same church is not a guarantee that the marriage will last.

Joy1706:

Please! You and I both know that worshipping in the same church is not a guarantee that the marriage will last.

it's no guarantee - just like locking a door is no guarantee that thieves won't come into the house.

Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult. Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

i can understand it why some people would give such a condition for marriage. Religion is basically an ideology that shapes our manners and mannerisms. Anyone has the right to want what ever kind of marriage he or she wants.

But the decision to compromise or not, lies with you. And no, It is not in areas like this when you say no to a man's suggestion that you are to be called insubordinate.

If you think you can compromise, then go on ahead. But if you cannot compromise, then it's ok. You don't have to marry him.

firstEVA:
Why should you attend a different church from your husband? You aren't going to serve the pastor but God, follow your husband to his church biko, it's little things like this that cause problems in Marriages.

to say what you have said would be to say that women do not have the same tendency to get attached to an ideology or faith like men.

Like i said, religion is an ideology that shapes the mind and attitude of people. I believe the reason the guy wants the lady to go to his church is not because he wants the family to have a uniform sunday activity but that believeing the same doctrine would help both of them to think alike and therefore reach decisions that are in line with what he would call spiritually sound. If that be the case, then he should also know that finally bullying his wife into accepting to go to his church would only bring about uniformity in sunday activities and not uniformity in the way she will reason when making a decision is important.

The mere fact that the lady expressed opposition to the man's suggestion that she should change her church, should be enough to make the man make his decision on wether to go on ahead with the marriage or not instead of bullying her by calling her insubordinate.

Vision4God:
Ur case remind me of a friend hu's marriage was dlayed by same issue. D lady said she cant marry in d guys church, likewise my friend.
Finally settled 4 a neutral church After months of disagreement.
(buh d pastor made dem sign dat de are automatically his members if he joins dem).
Funny!!

more ways to swell the population of your church and gain political and economic relevance so that when politicians like Jonathan want to seek reelection, they can come asking the pastor out.

I pity this fiance of yours already. Is he that desperate to marry that he has chosen to marry someone with your kind of mentality?

craziebone:

should be enough to make the man make his decision on wether to go on ahead with the marriage or not

Period. Next thing you know they'll be fighting about what soup to cook

She hasn't been asked which churches they attend now o! @op, which churches do u n ur boyfriend attend now? Let this not be a case of moving from Pentecostal to OOO for instance! it might be tough...

.

H

Hi OP,
Its not really all about being submissive or not. Religion isn't just personal but a very important thing too. If you ignore it now, it make make or mare your marriage in the future. For you to have a united and undivided home (Wife, Husband and Children)

I advice that you all attend one church.