Bootybuttchic:
So when you get married you want to attend a different church right?is he worshiping a lesser God in his church or is there a network connection that makes prayer get to God faster in ur church,cos i dont think God uses network to hear,u just have a common nigerian issue too,muslims and christians hardly go into marriage together due to religion differences...,now you in a christian to christian relationship is having issue just because of differences in place of worship,are you worshiping the church or God?do they mark register in your church?did ur pastor meet his wife (who am sure stands/sits on the alter with him every sunday)in his church before marriage?i dont know how many of u christians think?church to worship shouldnt be an issue,if u trully love your man and you take his as ur bone of bone like your pastor wil tel u when your wedding,,i dont see why you would want to go seperately to church,imagine attending church a day after wedding people start asking where is ur husband ...and if u feel you have ur church click/members that u still want to be see-ing,then you guys can make it two sundays in your church and two in his'....anyhow how it suits you.....and if u feel because he wants u to attend his church when u marry,means he doesnt love then goodluck,break up with him,that ur church brother will come soon,and if he doesnt and u clock 30, ,please dont come to nl to shed mgeke tears and open threads on" please how do i find the right man":-D :-Dansa= HE Is by the left

You have said it all. I wonder why couples would decide to attend different churches. What happened to and "the two shall become one?"i see no reason for this squabbles @op since you are both in a christian relationship unless of course you never loved him

A family that prays together stays together.

Norhing is by force in marriage, but some things are common sense
If you guys want to follow oyibo in everything, well when it cones to marriage, the average oyibo marriage lasts for 2yrs.
Idikwa ready?

my sister there is a lot that make marriage work. since you have decied to marry him you have to follow him to his church, or if he wants to follow u to his church,but the 2 of u should attend same church and if he is not giving in you should give in. what of your children? who will dey folow to church. if you let that happen i bet u as your children grow up they go to diffrent chruch under your roof and u will have no say cus u started it by no following your husband.
Marriage is very sweet when small issue are not created to cus troubles

That's why I love the Muslims, husband and wife don't have problem with mosque division because they worship the same way in all mosque.

Op is a christian, her boyfriend is also a christian and they are already having conflict in the name of which church to attend after marriage. SMH

Op you better leave that young man you are not ready for marriage.

JoeCutie:
My wife and kids MUST attend the same Church as me. Period! No time for long thing.

That's how its suppose to be. I stand to be corrected if I'm wrong but to the best of my knowledge, that's how its been done.

ukandi1:


persuasion does not apply here. Its either u are in or out. Church issues are more serious than what u fellas here take it to mean.
I write from experience. I am pentecostal and my wife orthodox. Its normal for d lady to change to d man's church or walk away cos love is never enuf. She agreed to join me in my pentecostal after marriage only for her to renege after d marriage. I was patient til i cud take it no more. D doctrines are not d same but all end up in d bedroom. I started making enquiries and seeking divorce barely 2yrs into d marriage.
U ar joking with fire. Beta sort it out now.

You want to divorce your wife because she reneged on her Agreement

I have advised the lady to walk away if they cannot reach a compromise

bukatyne:


If you know that your church is very important and you both do not reach a compromise, Please forget the marriage

I wonder when Some men would learn the art of persuasion

the same art of persuasion people are begining to ask women to ditch and become "the boss" (in Beyonce's voice)?

Don't get me wrong, i am all for choice for the lady.

sexyjennik:

You have said it all. I wonder why couples would decide to attend different churches. What happened to and "the two shall become one?"i see no reason for this squabbles @op since you are both in a christian relationship unless of course you never loved him

dont mind the op.read most of her posts and realised shes the proud and stubborn type...its the guy i pity

i dont see any issue here,my wife go to a different church i cant force her to come to my church,or are we not serving the same God?am not in that school of thought that blive de husband/wife must attend same church,so my sister dont take a leap in the dark so that u we not be like that woman that says the husband is forcing her to swallow his sperm,,,,,,,,yours now are traces of one of de over-riding men!

craziebone:


the same art of persuasion people are begining to ask women to ditch and become "the boss" (in Beyonce's voice)?

Don't get me wrong, i am all for choice for the lady.

Persuasion goes both ways bro in marriage

If you stamp your feet down as a man/woman on all issues, your partner will one day call your bluff

The man hear wants something and should try to understand the lady's POV and tell her why going to the same church is important to him etc. and they reach a compromise...

She can start going to the man's church and go to her church week days or something

Beside persuasion should be for the person who wants something.

Whatever works for everyone jor.

Life is short

Joy1706:

What if I'm not feeling the presence of God in his church? Will I continue like that for the rest of my life?

Then bring God and his presence to his church as God indwells believers, not the building.

Herzumpther:
That's how its suppose to be. I stand to be corrected if I'm wrong but to the best of my knowledge, that's how its been done.

Gbamest!

craziebone:


no one is saying you shouldn't want what ever you want. What we are saying is you can't blackmail anyone into that kind of mix up with the "you are not submissive" line.

True.

sisisioge:
His people shall be your people, his church shall be your church, his God shall be your God( hopefully, you already serve the same God), etc...

End of discussion.

LET HER PEOPLE BE HIS PEOPLE ND HER CHURCH HIS CHURCH HER GOD HIS GOD or ids dt too much to ask from a guy to sacrifice to his wife?

Vitaglyde:
It is not wrong if there is understanding

oga I sent u a pm, hope u reply

firetrap:


how stupid can one be by saying because a couple don't worship together means that their home is divided.

my parents have been married for 40 years, pray together every night, have businesses together and all my siblings are happily married save me. So you want to say that governor fashola whose wife is a Christian and he a Muslim have a broken home abi.

guy use your brain sometimes, that's why God gave you.

i rarely comment on topics like this but your comment prompted my reply. Your view of marriage is weird and scary.
When two pple marry they become one till they die. The bible clearly states the wife must submit to the husband. You must accept his family, accept his name, his pple, his church and obey him in exchange for his love. just a little is permanent about girls till they get married. That is why they say that girls have no church till they marry. If u re not willing to leave ur church, dont marry him let him marry another person FITTING for him.
ur family is a case of the tail wanging the dog instead of vice versa. That type of family is known for bringing up girls who have the impression that family decision is the wife's to make and that men should be subservient to their wives, hence ur orientation.
U better change ur orientation if u want ur marriage to be blissful b'cos u might not be as lucky as ur mother.

lovely17:
hmmmm when did "CHURCHY" become a word

......yesterday

Hmmm must u discuss every issue on social network? Personally, this is not a relevant idea.......Follow ua instinct, third party opinion is totally unacceptable huh*

It depends on d kind of man u re marrying to,may be devoted or not. Bt mostly women go to their husband chuch

Bt mine is contrary, because my church is closer n he loves their doctrine. So we both attend there together

bukatyne:


You want to divorce your wife because she reneged on her Agreement

I have advised the lady to walk away if they cannot reach a compromise

Once u get married, there is role differentiation. U must understand ur position before God and then do d needful . When ur woman thinks otherwise and acts according to contrary doctrines she hears, nothing can be more frustrating than that.. Elders and family knew i was ready to walk away before they intervened and then told her a lady does not have a church til she's married. Its more serious than u think cos things come up and u trace them to differences in doctrines. Its very serious

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Joy1706:
I told him even as my husband, he can only ask me to change my church after marriage but that the decision is mine to take. And that religion is a very personal issue, it's not something that can just be decided for a person esp an adult.

Then he says it seems like I won't be a submissive wife bla bla bla. Did I say something wrong?

You are still a child.
The real issue isn't that you actually send your church like that, it is simply that you don't see yourself "following a man".
You are a victim of modern day feminism that has done nothing but make 60% of marriages fail. Even olden day feminists are ashamed at the bullshit your generation is doing today.

I say this because if you truly are a christian, you will know what the bible says about marriage.
If small "which church do we go to" means you are already combatting your husband, then you ain't ready for the other true issues of marriage.

#YouAreThe60Percent

Joy1706:

Please! You and I both know that worshipping in the same church is not a guarantee that the marriage will last.

madam just saw a couple of your posts and I'd like you to know NOW that someone like you can't have a lasting marriage.. not a curse like our obsessed over superstitious Nigerians world say but the fact.

all your threads are all on feminine domination and is definitely not what feminism is about. it's about giving women a voice and a fair shot not making them the loudest voice
....

see your threads na..

what happens when a woman earns more, my husband commanded me etc...

so me saying that you have marriage potential issues is definitely spot on.

on the last note.
life is fair, not equal.. that's how it is and would always be.

Joy1706:

What if I'm not feeling the presence of God in his church? Will I continue like that for the rest of my life?

My dear, the 'presence of God' is not in the physical temple but inside of you. Christianity is not a religion. It is God's kind of life in man.

If your spouse worships in a bible believing church, then go with him.

Some women just like stirring up problems for themselves even where & when there's none.

Gosh.

Noneroone:
i rarely comment on topics like this but your comment prompted my reply. Your view of marriage is weird and scary.
When two pple marry they become one till they die. The bible clearly states the wife must submit to the husband. You must accept his family, accept his name, his pple, his church and obey him in exchange for his love. just a little is permanent about girls till they get married. That is why they say that girls have no church till they marry. If u re not willing to leave ur church, dont marry him let him marry another person FITTING for him.
ur family is a case of the tail wanging the dog instead of vice versa. That type of family is known for bringing up girls who have the impression that family decision is the wife's to make and that men should be subservient to their wives, hence ur orientation.
U better change ur orientation if u want ur marriage to be blissful b'cos u might not be as lucky as ur mother.

my reply to this is still the same as the one you quoted but I'll add a little more for you. people come here and quote passages from the bible to suit their agenda. the bible does not say the woman must attend the mans church, the bible didn't say the woman must do everything her husband tells her even if it is against her belief.

Families like yours are the type where women are to be seen and not heard because it seems that if a woman says something she believes in its either she gets shouted down or gets beaten up.

you said I may not be as lucky as my mother in marriage and I tell you that a good marriage doesn't need luck what it needs is understanding and mutual respect and Gods good grace and neither of those is lacking in my household.

NeoG; This is wishing you a Happy Birthday, even though you now hate me.

Joy1706:

I must not be on the same spiritual level as my spouse

Then forget about him. I am sure he would be more happy with someone else.

firstEVA:
you can try to convince him to join your own church, but if he says no, follow him to his church and begin to feel the presence of God. If your hubby is feeling God's presence, I wonder why you won't feel it.

damn, that was hilarious, sister pls try and connect to ur husband to feel God's presence oo..lol I'm in tears fam

Nyceguy92:
[/quote][quote author=sisisioge post=31431547]His people shall be your people, his church shall be your church, his God shall be your God( hopefully, you already serve the same God), etc...

End of discussion.

My people say a woman has no church until she is married.

It is very odd ,for whatever reason, for the wife to attend a different church on a Sunday.

It creates the impression that the husband lacks control in the family and portrays the woman in bad light.

How will they explain the division to their children?

Some women are attracted to the party atmosphere of some churches, where it is preached that without working for it,
you can become rich tomorrow and live in the best houses as long as you believe.

They give the excuse that they no longer get spiritual growth in their current church.

It does not matter if the follows the woman to her church or the woman follows the man,
the point here is that they should attend religious services as a family.

nannymcphee:


recipe for disaster!!!!!!

Jehovah witness believes Jesus is not God but he is the son of God

living faith believes Jesus is son of God and God at the same time God

they dont pray in the name of Jesus

they dont celebrate birthdays

amongst all other things!!

imagine junior telling that to your face or that the Holy spirit is not God but a force

you better have a rethink!!!!!!!!!!

They pray to Jehovah in the NAME OF JESUS. say what you know.

POSTER, This decision is not something you come to nairaland to take opinion polls before deciding what to do. Religion is an integral part of the lives of most Africans (in unhealthy proportions) and you should take a decision based on the level of importance you attach to it. Personally, I believe most main religions serve the same God even though they engage in futile arguments trying to claim sole ownership of this God. Nevertheless, the way and manner in which each individual connects with the supreme being varies and is very important. If you have worshipped in your boyfriend's church and do not see anyway you can ever connect to the supreme being in your own way there, then do not take the advise of these people who are asking you to sacrifice your religious predilection on the altar of marriage. Having said that, you can then have a strong discussion with your boyfriend, stating exactly why you do not see yourself having spiritual fulfillment in his church. Ask him if he minds you worshipping differently in your own church after marriage. If he says he minds and wants you guys to be in the same church, then you both should consider calling it quits, it is as simple as that. Never ever COMPROMISE on anything you hold dear for anyone. You can compromise on somethings, but those fundamental things/principles which define who you are should never be jettisoned because of love otherwise, you may regret it.

Furthermore, you should also know that even if your boyfriend agrees to you guys going to different churches for the sake of "peace" there is no guarantee that understanding will last once kids start coming out a few years down the line. He may develop resentment for you later, which will cause a lot of friction. Also, you should know that going to different churches may not be entirely good, looking at it from the prism of unity. It may or may not affect your marriage adversely. The decision is entirely yours. I am here to tell you of the 2 options available to you, as with every other thing in this life. You do not have to leave your church for any man if you do not want to, but you must be ready to live with the consequences of any of the decisions you decide to take (good or bad). There are good and bad consequences for almost every action/inaction we take/not take (whether those actions/inactions themselves are good or bad in the 1st place is immaterial). There is always a small price to pay for everything we do.

If you take the decision of leaving him because of his stance, you may lose a good man ( that is if you consider him good, you know better) and may not get a better one. Conversely, you may get a better man who is willing to compromise and who would make you wonder why you have been wasting your time with your previous boyfriend all the while. Likewise, if you decide to compromise for him and go to his church, you may later feel like you gave up too much and thus, develop a strong resentment for him which may have cascading negative effects on other areas of your marriage. It is also possible you change to his church and everything will be okay.

In a nutshell, always weigh whatever decision you want to take in life through the lens of probability. Identify all the possible pros and cons of that decision. Then choose the one you can live with, which may be the one having the least negative probabilities, while recognizing that even that can still be deceptive. Stop relying on nairaland for these kinds of issues.