veave:



lwtmb
after oga don damage her womb and kill all her children with mouth.

Lols

Most people will do What they think they can get away with.

bukatyne:


How do a lady know a guy is married If his family does not live around his family?

How does a man operate two families codely successfully?

How does a wife not know her husband is creeping?

It is not always straight forward

I wonder why a single lady will tangle with We are divorced, seperated, evil wife crew.

Once a man has attached himself to a woman, he should be off limits.

It is not always straight-forward as you said but one of the easiest ways is his phone habit.
Does he call at specific times?
Does he cut calls?Does he end conversations abruptly?
If you call late in the night,does he answer?e.t.c
Other signs are picked up when you are around him.A woman's instinct is strong so she needs to use it too.

thorpido:
It is not always straight-forward as you said but one of the easiest ways is his phone habit.
Does he call at specific times?
Does he cut calls?Does he end conversations abruptly?
If you call late in the night,does he answer?e.t.c
Other signs are picked up when you are around him.A woman's instinct is strong so she needs to use it too.

What If he has a Good phone habit?

True Some ladies are blind but not Everyman looks marriaged.

Some I know married @23 and had about 3kids at 28.

If he removes his ring/doesn't wear one and toast a girl, she might not know.

I think it is easier to know for a middle aged man.

It is well

bukatyne:


What If he has a Good phone habit?

True Some ladies are blind but not Everyman looks marriaged.

Some I know married @23 and had about 3kids at 28.

If he removes his ring/doesn't wear one and toast a girl, she might not know.

I think it is easier to know for a middle aged man.

It is well

Yes, some men indeed have perfected their act.A lady just has to sharpen up just as the men do.Unfortunately,it's easy for ladies to easily get carried away and that is why the necessary work is not done.

Playing detectives! Tis is wat infidelity breeds. I still don't understnd y ppl cheat tho

thorpido:
Yes, some men indeed have perfected their act.A lady just has to sharpen up just as the men do.Unfortunately,it's easy for ladies to easily get carried away and that is why the necessary work is not done.

urchbarbie:
Playing detectives! Tis is wat infidelity breeds. I still don't understnd y ppl cheat tho

Detective?This is someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with,you shouldn't do your homework?
It's not like you start checking his phone or trailing him about.You are just wise enough to pay attention to 'happenings' around him.

thorpido:
Detective?This is someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with,you shouldn't do your homework?
It's not like you start checking his phone or trailing him about.You are just wise enough to pay attention to 'happenings' around him.

And I pray it won't be too late before the innocent girl finds out.

^^^
I don't understand how people attribute their heart beat to mean something good about their relationship. I feel completely at ease with my man and that is how I became sure he is the one, after having met many others.

That is d part I can comment about.
sorry, if I am not helpful

My dear! I totally undestnd whr ure coming from. Am just sad dat tinx dat aint supposed to be naturally feared is now dat way cos of someones inability to be contended with wat they av. Some wld say variety is d spice of life. Others wld say they can't keep eating egusi soup all d days of dier lives while there r other delicacies. Sometimes dis tin scares me cos I knw I can stomach infidelity

thorpido:
Detective?This is someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with,you shouldn't do your homework?
It's not like you start checking his phone or trailing him about.You are just wise enough to pay attention to 'happenings' around him.

veave:




Babe, i saw the handwriting from the second paragraph. .e is overdone with you. You just realized now? You nor get boyfriend again oh. Make i tell you. You better delete his number. Infact, if you check my fone, you will see dontpick1-7 or even more, i have lost count.

Now those numbers on 'dontpick' are numbers i will not delete so as not to mistakenly pick their call. And the good thing about those numbers is that, i can never dial or pick them because i don't know who is who.
You better adjust well.

lol, I used to do dis 'dnt pick' ish back den. guess all of den got tired of calling and stopped.

urchbarbie:
My dear! I totally undestnd whr ure coming from. Am just sad dat tinx dat aint supposed to be naturally feared is now dat way cos of someones inability to be contended with wat they av. Some wld say variety is d spice of life. Others wld say they can't keep eating egusi soup all d days of dier lives while there r other delicacies. Sometimes dis tin scares me cos I knw I can stomach infidelity

You don't have to be fearful of going into a commitment.You just need to use the brain more than the heart to get it right.

You can eat rice and never get tired of it.You just need to be creative with it.It can be done as fried rice,jollof rice,plain rice,mixed with salad,mixed with ketchup,etc......I hope you get my drift.
It's about just settling with the right person.
Are u single?

veave:



Don't be surprised, when you check facebook or instagram next week and see wedding pishooor...

wicket

nannymcphee:


My dear let me touch more areas

You are still very young & I will advise you to get close to your elder sister & mum. If this guy knows that there is an authority figure in ur life that knows about the relationship, there are certain things he won't try

But most ladies love this dating in isolation, don't tell anybody, it's between me & you kind of thing, then he will misbehave a lot & get away with it

little by little you will get there, if you can't then look for a female authority to get close to, it will help you a lot in life not just on relationship matters but in life affairs

On the relationship matter, leave this boy & I'll advise you stay clear of relationships for now, you are still very young(20) with lots of choices before you, you don't need the extra baggage of relationships

After this one, remain single, make friends & leave it there till u clock 23/24, it will give you clarity. That every Susanna & Morganna is in a relationship does not mean you should be in one cos that's one of the reason most undergraduates go into one. Trust me 3 years from now you will ask yourself what was I even doing with that guy? Why cos you now know better

the best way to know someone is at friendship stage, not relationship stage cos there will be a whole lot of pretence, if you had been friends with this guy before dating him, you would have spotted this trait in him!!

I repeat stay clear from relationships for know, a lot of ladies got damaged or did things they would later regret because they started too early & most time you will always start with the wrong guy

Imagine having commited abortion maybe like thrice or having ones womb removed in the process or having lost count of how many guys you have slept with or flings/one night you have had, these things later bring regret at ones later stage in life or devaluation of one's self worth

thanks a much, my mum knows about him and the relationship. its just that she is not aware of his controlling habit. We were friends before we started dating and he want really like this. He changed early last year.
am not the types that will do a thing because people are doing it. I do it because I want to do it. I have learnt now that starting a relationship too early isn't the best that's the more reason why I need to end this and concentrate on realising my dreams cos that is what is more important right now.
Thanks again.

Yh! I get d drift. Ild av to help spice it up too when d time comes. And for my rlatnshp status, am not married!

thorpido:
You don't have to be fearful of going into a commitment.You just need to use the brain more than the heart to get it right.

You can eat rice and never get tired of it.You just need to be creative with it.It can be done as fried rice,jollof rice,plain rice,mixed with salad,mixed with ketchup,etc......I hope you get my drift.
It's about just settling with the right person.
Are u single?

moca:

Hahahaahaaaa!
And mummy loved her a lot
D only thing is to stay away from such people.
D children have all turned against her now.
She dealth with d first son's wife very well but d woman conquered her. She is now in UK with her children enjoying her marriage.
Her hubby beat d hell outt of her because of this woman at eight months pregnancy and went to work.
While she was lying down on d door,the mama came down and opened door and left to her daughter's place. She didn't tell anybody.
Very unusual and d daughter called d wife but no answer.
Small time d son came and took her home.
We learnt later that d son couldn't concentrate at work so had to rush home. Wifey was lying on d floor,he went up,mama who caused d whole thing has cleared her thing and left.
How wicked can one be?
If she didn't spare an unborn child,na me she go spare?
Abeg,let God handle her case.
Na look I dey dey look

jeez! that woman is soon mean. Some people gat heart sha. Thank God u pulled through.pls try to share ur story more often so that young girls can draw inspiration from. I have a friend who is going through a similar situation. she eventually dropped out of school. I just pray she doesn’t make the wrong decision.

No advice for me? Alright

Renaj:
No advice for me? Alright

where's ur post?

thorpido:
where's ur post?

l removed it. l waited for almost a day for feedback but l got nothing. Maybe my post is not up to the kind where advice is given. Thanks by the way, Sir.

Renaj:

l removed it. l waited for almost a day for feedback but l got nothing. Maybe my post is not up to the kind where advice is given. Thanks by the way, Sir.

hey dear! i understnd ur annoyance. i had earlier seen d post, but i cudnt offer any advice. u ddnt av to remove it dear. ppl dont live on d internet, some person wld av come along @d right time to answer u accordinly. u make it seem like no one cares enuf. in as much as dis is a faceless forum, d ppl on dis thread av tried to make it warm,friendly, and also interssting to d follwrs of d thread. i would advice u put it up again. someone who wld give u d desired advice would come along. #bighug

Renaj:

l removed it. l waited for almost a day for feedback but l got nothing. Maybe my post is not up to the kind where advice is given. Thanks by the way, Sir.

please could you do a repost?

Renaj:

l removed it. l waited for almost a day for feedback but l got nothing. Maybe my post is not up to the kind where advice is given. Thanks by the way, Sir.

Do a repost or send a mail if you wish.

God bless you for this thread, i wanted to create a new thread for advice but found this matured thread with sincere n honest answers.

Hmm mm, where do i start from? I am married for 5 years with 2 children and heavily pregnant for the last child. My hubby takes responsibility of the family for now. I just finished my M.Sc. program awaiting my graduation, i don't work presently. I took in when my second child was just 9 months old, it has not been easy because i am alone with no nanny or house help. In fact since I got married I had been the only one with no help to assist me, i give God the glory for my strength.

To my problem, I have been having issues with hubby helping me with house chores it has been an issue for a while. With my pregnancy I would carry the little baby at my back to the markets, run errands and do house chores. When he saw the pain was much for me he decided to help by doing shopping n going to the market which i appreciate. Now i just entered my third trimester so it quite difficult for me to bend low. i usually wake up as early as 5 / 5.30 am to prepare the children for school. Oga will be sleeping till 6.30 am before he wakes up, at times when i wake late 6am i beg him to help bathe the first child. Today just got me thinking, why my hubby will call me names like lazy brat, bastard, useless, pathetic just because i asked him to help bathe his child so that he won’t go late because he takes him to school. He actually bathed him after a lot of complains but threw my child's shoe and sucks at me to put it on for him with all these abuses following his action. He also said i want to turn it to his job bathing our son.

Now i have decided to show him how a lazy brat behaves from now on. i think he is taking me for granted, because i behave like a super woman at home doing all the chores n errands even when am weak i still manage because i no he won’t help out.
please i need advice because those words are just too heavy for me and am hurting. i did not and will never call him names .

Bizbee:
God bless you for this thread, i wanted to create a new thread for advice but found this matured thread with sincere n honest answers.

Hmm mm, where do i start from? I am married for 5 years with 2 children and heavily pregnant for the last child. My hubby takes responsibility of the family for now. I just finished my M.Sc. program awaiting my graduation, i don't work presently. I took in when my second child was just 9 months old, it has not been easy because i am alone with no nanny or house help. In fact since I got married I had been the only one with no help to assist me, i give God the glory for my strength.

To my problem, I have been having issues with hubby helping me with house chores it has been an issue for a while. With my pregnancy I would carry the little baby at my back to the markets, run errands and do house chores. When he saw the pain was much for me he decided to help by doing shopping n going to the market which i appreciate. Now i just entered my third trimester so it quite difficult for me to bend low. i usually wake up as early as 5 / 5.30 am to prepare the children for school. Oga will be sleeping till 6.30 am before he wakes up, at times when i wake late 6am i beg him to help bathe the first child. Today just got me thinking, why my hubby will call me names like lazy brat, bastard, useless, pathetic just because i asked him to help bathe his child so that he won’t go late because he takes him to school. He actually bathed him after a lot of complains but threw my child's shoe and sucks at me to put it on for him with all these abuses following his action. He also said i want to turn it to his job bathing our son.

Now i have decided to show him how a lazy brat behaves from now on. i think he is taking me for granted, because i behave like a super woman at home doing all the chores n errands even when am weak i still manage because i no he won’t help out.
please i need advice because those words are just too heavy for me and am hurting. i did not and will never call him names .

Your husband is obviously a traditional African man who believes certain roles should be for a woman alone. From the start, l think u were the super woman. Now with increasing responsibilities, he still demands that from u and nothing less. He is being frigid and emotionally abusive. Why can't he dress up his own child? First of all, find a good time, talk to him and express your anguish.

Bizbee:
God bless you for this thread, i wanted to create a new thread for advice but found this matured thread with sincere n honest answers.

Hmm mm, where do i start from? I am married for 5 years with 2 children and heavily pregnant for the last child. My hubby takes responsibility of the family for now. I just finished my M.Sc. program awaiting my graduation, i don't work presently. I took in when my second child was just 9 months old, it has not been easy because i am alone with no nanny or house help. In fact since I got married I had been the only one with no help to assist me, i give God the glory for my strength.

To my problem, I have been having issues with hubby helping me with house chores it has been an issue for a while. With my pregnancy I would carry the little baby at my back to the markets, run errands and do house chores. When he saw the pain was much for me he decided to help by doing shopping n going to the market which i appreciate. Now i just entered my third trimester so it quite difficult for me to bend low. i usually wake up as early as 5 / 5.30 am to prepare the children for school. Oga will be sleeping till 6.30 am before he wakes up, at times when i wake late 6am i beg him to help bathe the first child. Today just got me thinking, why my hubby will call me names like lazy brat, bastard, useless, pathetic just because i asked him to help bathe his child so that he won’t go late because he takes him to school. He actually bathed him after a lot of complains but threw my child's shoe and sucks at me to put it on for him with all these abuses following his action. He also said i want to turn it to his job bathing our son.

Now i have decided to show him how a lazy brat behaves from now on. i think he is taking me for granted, because i behave like a super woman at home doing all the chores n errands even when am weak i still manage because i no he won’t help out.
please i need advice because those words are just too heavy for me and am hurting. i did not and will never call him names .

I wonder why a man will refuse to help in his own family, so silly.. Or maybe because you have always acted as the super woman(which isn't bad), he thinks you can handle just anything even when you are pregnant, He is so insensitive..
i will advise,
--Have a heart to heart talk with him when he's in a good mood.
--Do only things you can, don't over stress yourself.. could lead to health issues
-- Get an househelp..

All the best..

You are very right, i started what i thot i could finish. Anyways i have to put a stop to this, will surly look for the best time to address this.Thanks for the advice.

Renaj:

Your husband is obviously a traditional African man who believes certain roles should be for a woman alone. From the start, l think u were the super woman. Now with increasing responsibilities, he still demands that from u and nothing less. He is being frigid and emotionally abusive. Why can't he dress up his own child? First of all, find a good time, talk to him and express your anguish.

He really thinks and knows i can always stand in gap for him, but am human too with feelings. we had to move to another country because of his job, there i started biz. i was begging him to assist me with customers (his colleagues) for fast sales, he refused and asked me to go look for my costumers else where, in a place am just new to. Now he is making me to patronize his colleague wives in biz marketed by their husbands. i am just fed up he wants me to do things without his help. As for the house help he bluntly refused a stay in house help. when i opted for a housekeeper next, he said that will just be a waste of money since what i really need is a nanny or stay in house help but wont agree to that. just last week he brought a guy home to clean the house and said the guy will only be coming once a month.

MarvellousGod:
I wonder why a man will refuse to help in his own family, so silly.. Or maybe because you have always acted as the super woman(which isn't bad), he thinks you can handle just anything even when you are pregnant, He is so insensitive..
i will advise,
--Have a heart to heart talk with him when he's in a good mood.
--Do only things you can, don't over stress yourself.. could lead to health issues
-- Get an househelp..

All the best..

Bizbee:
He really thinks and knows i can always stand in gap for him, but am human too with feelings. we had to move to another country because of his job, there i started biz. i was begging him to assist me with customers (his colleagues) for fast sales, he refused and asked me to go look for my costumers else where, in a place am just new to. Now he is making me to patronize his colleague wives in biz marketed by their husbands. i am just fed up he wants me to do things without his help. As for the house help he bluntly refused a stay in house help. when i opted for a housekeeper next, he said that will just be a waste of money since what i really need is a nanny or stay in house help but wont agree to that. just last week he brought a guy home to clean the house and said the guy will only be coming once a month.

Seems to me that he doesn't really care about you.. Has he always been like this or something prompted this attitude? Why wouldn't a husband help his wife grow her business? When he helps with house chores or does stuffs for you, do you ridicule him or something? Is he having a hard time at work or undergoing any tough situation? If he wasn't like this before, then you have to look well and find what brought about the change. If he's been like this, then you have to get used to it dear and there may be little you can do about it...

@bolded, once a month? quite ridiculous.. As i said earlier regarding chores, just do only things you can, there's always a next day...Maybe if he sees you no longer take care of laundry et al as you used to, he will be forced to employ an househelp...Or could it be he can't afford a nanny/househelp seeing he went for a monthly cleaner? do you know his financial status?..
All the best dear..

Really! Sometimes as i said earlier am scared @d kind of marriages i read abt online. Coming from a home whr dad does d dishes n sweeps d surroundings even when 'urs faithfully' is @home, i compare my dad with wat is obtainable now. Some say men of old like dis traditional setting. I grew up with an industrous mum, who despite being a woman, dads corner of d room was always kept n hers strewn with clothes. Hmmmm. Dad worked 'ogwu aja' jobs like babyosisi said smwhr, but he wld come home tired n still help out. Weekends na wa, all d flowers wld be trimmed n watered. No waiting for any body to do anytin. Sometimes in my lazy mind, i wish i can meet some1 as hardworking as my dad, but it seems dese kind of men r becoming extinct.

Nne. Just do d most u can. When he comes home to a less tidy house, he wld knw u need help. Either he helps out or he gets paid help. Gods grace in fixing dis issue.

Bizbee:
You are very right, i started what i thot i could finish. Anyways i have to put a stop to this, will surly look for the best time to address this.Thanks for the advice.

Ridicule ke, instead i will be more than thankful. Doing chores for me had been an issue right from time , but its telling on me now. Finance is not the problem for getting a nanny or maid. he is scared of the recent development of house helps in the house. The monthly house keeper works in his company as a cleaner so he doesn't want him frequent in the house.
the problem is that even if the house is messed up he doesn't care, while i cant stay in a dirty environment. i ave tried it before to ignore the chores and just have a good rest, yet in that rest my mind keeps urging me to make the house clean.
i just need God's help n wisdom right now.

MarvellousGod:
Seems to me that he doesn't really care about you.. Has he always been like this or something prompted this attitude? Why wouldn't a husband help his wife grow her business? When he helps with house chores or does stuffs for you, do you ridicule him or something? Is he having a hard time at work or undergoing any tough situation? If he wasn't like this before, then you have to look well and find what brought about the change. If he's been like this, then you have to get used to it dear and there may be little you can do about it...

@bolded, once a month? quite ridiculous.. As i said earlier regarding chores, just do only things you can, there's always a next day...Maybe if he sees you no longer take care of laundry et al as you used to, he will be forced to employ an househelp...Or could it be he can't afford a nanny/househelp seeing he went for a monthly cleaner? do you know his financial status?..
All the best dear..

Bizbee:
He really thinks and knows i can always stand in gap for him, but am human too with feelings. we had to move to another country because of his job, there i started biz. i was begging him to assist me with customers (his colleagues) for fast sales, he refused and asked me to go look for my costumers else where, in a place am just new to. Now he is making me to patronize his colleague wives in biz marketed by their husbands. i am just fed up he wants me to do things without his help. As for the house help he bluntly refused a stay in house help. when i opted for a housekeeper next, he said that will just be a waste of money since what i really need is a nanny or stay in house help but wont agree to that. just last week he brought a guy home to clean the house and said the guy will only be coming once a month.

Your hubby is your hubby but I'm not sure he is your friend.Why would a husband not help out a heavily pregnant wife with house chores?
I think your hubby is the traditional african man and the fact that he's the one handling all finances makes him not want to help out.
Have a talk with him when the mood is right and if after all these,he still wouldn't budge,just do the much you can do each time and you have the next day to do the rest.

Bizbee:
God bless you for this thread, i wanted to create a new thread for advice but found this matured thread with sincere n honest answers.

Hmm mm, where do i start from? I am married for 5 years with 2 children and heavily pregnant for the last child. My hubby takes responsibility of the family for now. I just finished my M.Sc. program awaiting my graduation, i don't work presently. I took in when my second child was just 9 months old, it has not been easy because i am alone with no nanny or house help. In fact since I got married I had been the only one with no help to assist me, i give God the glory for my strength.

To my problem, I have been having issues with hubby helping me with house chores it has been an issue for a while. With my pregnancy I would carry the little baby at my back to the markets, run errands and do house chores. When he saw the pain was much for me he decided to help by doing shopping n going to the market which i appreciate. Now i just entered my third trimester so it quite difficult for me to bend low. i usually wake up as early as 5 / 5.30 am to prepare the children for school. Oga will be sleeping till 6.30 am before he wakes up, at times when i wake late 6am i beg him to help bathe the first child. Today just got me thinking, why my hubby will call me names like lazy brat, bastard, useless, pathetic just because i asked him to help bathe his child so that he won’t go late because he takes him to school. He actually bathed him after a lot of complains but threw my child's shoe and sucks at me to put it on for him with all these abuses following his action. He also said i want to turn it to his job bathing our son.

Now i have decided to show him how a lazy brat behaves from now on. i think he is taking me for granted, because i behave like a super woman at home doing all the chores n errands even when am weak i still manage because i no he won’t help out.
please i need advice because those words are just too heavy for me and am hurting. i did not and will never call him names .

when I read your post, it was a "deja vu" for me. Like you I have 2 kids pregnant for my 3rd as well. I married a traditional man who sees the woman as a domestic being. I am working though so what I did was employ a house help he never supported at 1st but I pay her myself. She is not a live in help. She resumes 8am and closes 5pm when I get back from work.

I wake up daily by 5am, cook for the house wake kids up by 6:15am to get them ready for school, their school bus picks them up by 7am, thereafter I prepare for my work. Hubby is still asleep till 8am when he wakes to eat his breakfast. I leave for work by 8:30am by then the help has resumed for cleaning.

can you believe by 1:30pm everyday hubby calls me to ask if his lunch is served at home and me am at work o. I have to call my help at home to make sure his lunch is ready. Note that he doesn't allow the help to cook his meals o. I cook and store away while the help just warms and serve.

It has not been easy but I had to adjust. So my advise to you is to get a help (not live in o) or get a relation like a younger sister or cousin to help you out because if your hubby is like mine, he will never yield to helping around the house o. I had to even change jobs to a more flexible but lower paying one just to reduce stress