shrekandfiona:

thanks dearie. I know you're watching out for me and I appreciate. Will stick to your advise during and after delivery

That's all that matters.
It's never too late.
U r entitled to enjoy ur marriage.
I don't agree to less.

Study his temperament,use the strong points to maneuver the weak ones.
Nothing is impossible.
Later in life,he will thank u for that.
Wonder why the oyinbos are still running our lives without gun?
They know how to read and interpret our mindset to their benefit still making use look as we r in total control.

Wish u the best.
U deserve all d best.

@babygirlfl.
Don't wanna reply them again cos it seems they want us to start quarreling.
Not ready for such.

I read here when a gal(wife to be)said she didn't grow up doing house chores.
Go and read the advice pouring in.
If a man now says so,its normal cos it's d norm in nigeria.

Let that man travel out and see his fellow men competing on who will be the best chef etc.
When he tells his fellow men he cooked when he is not supposed to cook,they will laugh him to stupor cos he will sound silly to them.

R we supposed to stick to the status quo or change it if it's not helping.
Tomorrow,they will shout married women r very adulterous,why won't they be?
Or do u think that what makes a complete home is fat bank account and mansions here and there?
Again,i say a man that leaves all d housework to his wife is nothing but a bully.
Take it or leave it.
We really don't know what abuse is.

When we r told that marriage is all that a woman live for. Why won't we be tolerating poo.

the worst part was throwing the shoe and socks at her.
Ummm, this is serious

thorpido:
Moca u dey vesss.
In this generation,a man just can't fold his arms around the house.It's not right.

shrekandfiona:

when I read your post, it was a "deja vu" for me. Like you I have 2 kids pregnant for my 3rd as well. I married a traditional man who sees the woman as a domestic being. I am working though so what I did was employ a house help he never supported at 1st but I pay her myself. She is not a live in help. She resumes 8am and closes 5pm when I get back from work.

I wake up daily by 5am, cook for the house wake kids up by 6:15am to get them ready for school, their school bus picks them up by 7am, thereafter I prepare for my work. Hubby is still asleep till 8am when he wakes to eat his breakfast. I leave for work by 8:30am by then the help has resumed for cleaning.

can you believe by 1:30pm everyday hubby calls me to ask if his lunch is served at home and me am at work o. I have to call my help at home to make sure his lunch is ready. Note that he doesn't allow the help to cook his meals o. I cook and store away while the help just warms and serve.

It has not been easy but I had to adjust. So my advise to you is to get a help (not live in o) or get a relation like a younger sister or cousin to help you out because if your hubby is like mine, he will never yield to helping around the house o. I had to even change jobs to a more flexible but lower paying one just to reduce stress

I like the way you have adjusted
Sometimes that is what we need to do
He won't help,you employ help and de stress your life.
Don't sweat the small things
If I take a picture of my husband's work desk in his home office,you people will scream.i have been begging,encouraging and even cajoling him to sort out the mail piled up everywhere and he promises but never did
Years ago,that will set me on edge seeing it and it will be the source of many heated arguments,today I don't care,I close the door so i don't see it.
Empty toothpaste and floss and cans of empty body spray on his side of the bathroom counter would annoy me like crazy today I throw them away if I feel like it.
This life is too short to worry over certain things.
I am glad you can afford to get help
Trust me it gets better
I was away a few days and when I returned my last daughter had vacuumed my bedroom,changed my bed sheets,folded and put away my laundry.years ago I woukd have come home to do all that.

armyofone:
the worst part was throwing the shoe and socks at her.
Ummm, this is serious

Army, u don't want to cook those delicacies and post e kwa?
Only u dey chop them

Bizbee:
God bless you for this thread, i wanted to create a new thread for advice but found this matured thread with sincere n honest answers.

Hmm mm, where do i start from? I am married for 5 years with 2 children and heavily pregnant for the last child. My hubby takes responsibility of the family for now. I just finished my M.Sc. program awaiting my graduation, i don't work presently. I took in when my second child was just 9 months old, it has not been easy because i am alone with no nanny or house help. In fact since I got married I had been the only one with no help to assist me, i give God the glory for my strength.

To my problem, I have been having issues with hubby helping me with house chores it has been an issue for a while. With my pregnancy I would carry the little baby at my back to the markets, run errands and do house chores. When he saw the pain was much for me he decided to help by doing shopping n going to the market which i appreciate. Now i just entered my third trimester so it quite difficult for me to bend low. i usually wake up as early as 5 / 5.30 am to prepare the children for school. Oga will be sleeping till 6.30 am before he wakes up, at times when i wake late 6am i beg him to help bathe the first child. Today just got me thinking, why my hubby will call me names like lazy brat, bastard, useless, pathetic just because i asked him to help bathe his child so that he won’t go late because he takes him to school. He actually bathed him after a lot of complains but threw my child's shoe and sucks at me to put it on for him with all these abuses following his action. He also said i want to turn it to his job bathing our son.

Now i have decided to show him how a lazy brat behaves from now on. i think he is taking me for granted, because i behave like a super woman at home doing all the chores n errands even when am weak i still manage because i no he won’t help out.
please i need advice because those words are just too heavy for me and am hurting. i did not and will never call him names .

Take it easy,you don't need stress at this time.
First I will say that after this third child you call your last,go and get your tubes tied,so that you deal with just the three and have time to plan and get into your career.
The mistake you made is the same mistake many women make in marriage
We come in being a superwoman,we even see the man taking his own food from the pot,we run and collect the plate and serve him
Big mistake
I guess it is harder for housewives to ask for help because the man thinks you are home doing nothing
My hardest times as a mom was when I had to stay home with two little kids
I was tired all the time.just watching the kids alone was so much work let alone the housework and cookng.
After this baby,you must find something doing
Send them to school and daycare even if 2/3 of your salary will go there,you need it for your sanity sake.
Go to any day care,the workers don't last
Because it if tough caring for children but most men don't understand it and they have to be taught that wisely

Let me tell you something I did especially after my last baby.
As soon as hubby gets home and I say welcome,I run into the bathroom ,sit in a bubble bath with music playing from my laptop and I will be there one full hour or more
Every blessed day
It was one of the best things I did your myself,it was so calming
All the stress of the day disappeared in that water
It was either that or my sanity
Hubby simply got used to it and will sometimes make his own pounded yam and warm soup or wait till I came out.
That may have been the only time I had to myself all day and I needed it.

Sometimes you need to take a walk and leave him with the kids.
There is nothing that teaches a man to appreciate what we do than leave him alone with the kids a few hours or days to handle them he will be a changed man.
Try it
Take a vacation for a few days and leave him with the kids
Go out shopping a few hours and leave the kids behind

For the younger women reading,please do these things from time to time from day one so you don't fight and conquer in the battles some of us fought,I could fill a whole thread with my experiences.
When you are invited to a baby shower or bridal shower,leave the babies behind,he is their father
Invited to a wedding,he doesn't wanna go,share the kids ,give him the two smaller ones,take the older ones.
You have to assert yourself in some things o

I am also married to a traditional man,mine is so traditional he eats pounded yam every night but my mom came visiting when our kids were small and saw him doing housework and thought what a wonderful man,not knowing we didn't get there from day one.

So my sister be wise
[b]Don't take on any more tasks anything you can't handle say it upfront and ask for help or leave it undone
Get used to the scattered environment ,sometimes just use leg and kick the toys one side and pass
When the child misses school a few times or makes him late a few times,he will learn to help
Trust me it works.
But nothing works better than you going on a trip for at least 7 days without the kids
You will come home to a renewed man.[/b]

No man should read this
This is strictly women talk


My sister in law went to Nigeria to bury her dad and her husband stayed with their 4 children,nobody will tell him now not to appreciate what his wife does.just getting them ready with their winter coats to bring them to stay a day with me was so tiring for him.
He needed that experience to appreciate his wife more
All men need it
It changes them and they understand it better when you ask for help because they have been there

I see women at baby showers with children crying or running around and kicking over drinks and I feel like saying something
Why should a woman go to an event and not even enjoy some alone time with her fellow women
Or go to the stores strapping babies and pushing them and a trip of 30 minutes becomes 2 hours with all the yellings of Nnamdi no,Nneka stop.Meanwhile husband is at home doing nothing. I did it o
That ought not be so
Let him watch his own children at those times,feed them and change diapers
I often joke with my girlfriends on these things and we came to the conclusion that highest he will scream and yell for a few hours get mad a few days after that but you have already done it ,the next time it gets easier and easier till he gets used to it
I did all that superwoman stuff and wisened up later and learned to ask and take the time I needed and it worked.the man adjusted after a while.
Believe me it works
Just a few carrying face here and there in the beginning of the change but you will achieve your aim in the end and that is what you want.

This is babyosisi speaking not the Holy Ghost

(im so stressed up so let me continue de- stressing here)
Babyosisi,abeg chop knuckle.
At least u hv been married for long.
So u know how far.

Believe u me,i dont know how to turn poundo.
Anytime I do that,i will be sweating like xmas goat.
Hubby thought me.
One day I asked myself,this poundo of a thing, must I continue like this(i don't evenn know how to pound).
as soon as I get belle. That was the end.
U want poundo,pls help urself out. I can do all thing except that. If it's d only thing at home,i will drink water or do fasting and prayer.
He got the message and continued turning his thing.
He has told me to buy d blender for pounding but no time yet to look for it.

I'm always mad if I see preggy suffering.
Child will bear ur name yet u can't do the needful.

babyosisi:
No man should read this
This is strictly women talk


My sister in law went to Nigeria to bury her dad and her husband stayed with their 4 children,nobody will tell him now not to appreciate what his wife does.just getting them ready with their winter coats to bring them to stay a day with me was so tiring for him.
He needed that experience to appreciate his wife more
All men need it
It changes them and they understand it better when you ask for help because they have been there

I see women at baby showers with children crying or running around and kicking over drinks and I feel like saying something
Why should a woman go to an event and not even enjoy some alone time with her fellow women
Or go to the stores strapping babies and pushing them and a trip of 30 minutes becomes 2 hours with all the yellings of Nnamdi no,Nneka stop.Meanwhile husband is at home doing nothing
That ought not be so
Let him watch his own children at those times,feed them and change diapers
I often joke with my girlfriends on these things and we came to the conclusion that highest he will scream and yell for a few hours get mad a few days after that but you have already done it ,the next time it gets easier and easier till he gets used to it
I did all that superwoman stuff and wisened up later and learned to ask and take the time I needed and it worked.the man adjusted after a while.
Believe me it works
Just a few carrying face here and there in the beginning of the change but you will achieve your aim in the end and that is what you want.

This is babyosisi speaking not the Holy Ghost

What they don't know is what we lack in strength, we use wisdom to acomplish.
Women r the smoothest operators know on planet earth.

He won't die abeg, unless u made him believe he will.
The greatest men on earth r controlled by women. Use what God endowed u with and conquer ur territory.

moca:
(im so stressed up so let me continue de- stressing here)
Babyosisi,abeg chop knuckle.
At least u hv been married for long.
So u know how far.

Believe u me,i dont know how to turn poundo.
Anytime I do that,i will be sweating like xmas goat.
Hubby thought me.
One day I asked myself,this poundo of a thing, must I continue like this(i don't evenn know how to pound).
as soon as I get belle. That was the end.
U want poundo,pls help urself out. I can do all thing except that. If it's d only thing at home,i will drink water or do fasting and prayer.
He got the message and continued turning his thing.
He has told me to buy d blender for pounding but no time yet to look for it.

I'm always mad if I see preggy suffering.
Child will bear ur name yet u can't do the needful.

Yes o
My husband has no problems turning his own poundo,he even takes it from me to do it because he does it better and smoother
He turns it with ease
He has no problem warming his own food
It wasn't always like this o
It changed after the kids came and I started work
I cook all the food ,he usually serves himself especially when he comes home late.

I always joke here and say that a wife should systematically mold her husband into her taste,I don't mean it that way but I mean it
You need to if not persin fit comot cloth enter market because of stress
You see why I say that I will never marry again
I can't go through this with another man
It has taken me years of blood and sweat to get to where we are
I can't go through this and " train another man"
I just cannot
That is why I will do everything within the bounds of sanity to make this marriage work.i have put in a lot of effort into it and we are in a pace we both love.

babyosisi:





Let me tell you something I did especially after my last baby.
As soon as hubby gets home and I say welcome,I run into the bathroom ,sit in a bubble bath with music playing from my laptop and I will be there one full hour or more
Every blessed day
It was one of the best things I did your myself,it was so calming
All the stress of the day disappeared in that water
It was either that or my sanity
Hubby simply got used to it and will sometimes make his own pounded yam and warm soup or wait till I came out.
That may have been the only time I had to myself all day and I needed it.



I am also married to a traditional man,mine is so traditional he eats pounded yam every night but my mom came visiting when our kids were small and saw him doing housework and thought what a wonderful man,not knowing we didn't get there from day one.

So my sister be wise
[b]Don't take on any more tasks anything you can't handle say it upfront and ask for help or leave it undone
Get used to the scattered environment ,sometimes just use leg and kick the toys one side and pass
When the child misses school a few times or makes him late a few times,he will learn to help
Trust me it works.
But nothing works better than you going on a trip for at least 7 days without the kids
You will come home to a renewed man.[/b]

I love you you are one wise, intelligent and funny lady. Will definitely try your out bubble bath method during my maternity leave

however I feel so scared leaving the kids alone with him o. There was a time my help didn't come to work and the kids were on vacation. before going to work, I had prepared their breakfast, bathed them and told hubby to feed them by 9am because they are not early eaters they just drink tea by 7am and eat later. I was hoping to close early say 12 noon and begged him to look after them till I close.

do you know hubby tried feeding them, but couldn't cos they are picky eaters hubby later called me by 10am and said he had left home to meet up work appointment I asked about the kids and he said he locked them at home I had no choice than to start running home o. If you know the speed I took from central area to my house eh

shrekandfiona:

I love you you are one wise, intelligent and funny lady. Will definitely try your out bubble bath method during my maternity leave

however I feel so scared leaving the kids alone with him o. There was a time my help didn't come to work and the kids were on vacation. before going to work, I had prepared their breakfast, bathed them and told hubby to feed them by 9am because they are not early eaters they just drink tea by 7am and eat later. I was hoping to close early say 12 noon and begged him to look after them till I close.

[b]do you know hubby tried feeding them, but couldn't cos they are picky eaters hubby later called me by 10am and said he had left home to meet up work appointment I asked about the kids and he said he locked them at home I had no choice than to start running home o. If [/b]you know the speed I took from central area to my house eh

CHineke mee
Locked a 4 and 2 year old alone?
I hope you said something.you don't let that opportunity pass
show him scary internet stories of what happened to kids left home alone
Electrocution,choking on objects drowning,etc
Basically tell him how irresponsible that was of him
He needed to hear it

babyosisi:


I like the way you have adjusted
Sometimes that is what we need to do
He won't help,you employ help and de stress your life.
Don't sweat the small things
If I take a picture of my husband's work desk in his home office,you people will scream.i have been begging,encouraging and even cajoling him to sort out the mail piled up everywhere and he promises but never did
Years ago,that will set me on edge seeing it and it will be the source of many heated arguments,today I don't care,I close the door so i don't see it.
Empty toothpaste and floss and cans of empty body spray on his side of the bathroom counter would annoy me like crazy today I throw them away if I feel like it.
This life is too short to worry over certain things.
I am glad you can afford to get help
Trust me it gets better
I was away a few days and when I returned my last daughter had vacuumed my bedroom,changed my bed sheets,folded and put away my laundry.years ago I woukd have come home to do all that.

Thanks you're amazing. I wish to have your kind of wisdom, intelligence and sense of humour some day

babyosisi:


CHineke mee
Locked a 4 and 2 year old alone?

It's recent this January. 6 & 4 yr old

shrekandfiona:

It's recent this January. 6 & 4 yr old

Read my last post
That house won't contain us
I would have been like azubuike you left my two children I carried in my womb 9 months a piece and bore in anguish ,alone in the house?
Maybe you have replacement children somewhere,these are my only ones o
What if blah blah
What if da da da
That day they will become my children alone as I speak

This is so wrong
You need to make him see the foolishness in that action,next time he won't try it

Babyosisi, I feel for her a lot that was why I lashed out.
Shrekandfiona, u r one good woman and works very hard.
I pray God gives u ur heart desire.
I also pray u get wisdom from above to handle things.
(im just not myself at all)

moca:

What they don't know is what we lack in strength, we use wisdom to acomplish.
Women r the smoothest operators know on planet earth.

He won't die abeg, unless u made him believe he will.
The greatest men on earth r controlled by women. Use what God endowed u with and conquer ur territory.

Didn't I say it earlier on the thread
That is what some of his family will see and accuse the woman of controlling their brother with juju
There are ways to make a man eat out of the palms of your hands
It is a careful balance between being submissive and also being assertive
Wisdom is the key
You will use wisdom to know when to put on each of those two garments

shrekandfiona:

Thanks you're so kind. I hope he yields too some day but I have come to realise you don't nag an adult for change. The choice is absolutely his to make, no hard feelings whatsoever. I am a survivor

I agree with the bolded but,y'all really need to sit down and talk. Traditional man or no traditional man,he can't sit there and form Lord while his pregnant wife is doing all the house chores na...haba! At least get him to start helping you get 'HIS' kids ready for school.The kids would love it when they see Daddy getting up to make them breakfast.He needs to start seeing the fun in caring for his kids.

There was a funny story on my recent vacation
One evening I was very tired and Oga wanted us to get on a train and visit harvard
I said why not tomorrow
He said no,today,if you are not interested I will go alone
I said haba how can we come here together and you go visiting sites alone,allow me rest na,we will go tomorrow
The man refused,got up,dressed,zipped up his jacket and left saying a goodbye I didn't respond too well to
He went down to the hotel lobby,15 minutes later ,he was back upstairs
I just laughed inside,next day we visited those sites
Many years ago I would have talked about how he is always doing this and doing that and how he was ruining the vacation
He gets mad I get mad,he storms out and will be gone for hours while I am fuming and boiling over
I don't do that anymore
There are some things that work,it took me years but I eventually learned them

Gbam!

babyosisi:


Didn't I say it earlier on the thread
That is what some of his family will see and accuse the woman of controlling their brother with juju
There are ways to make a man eat out of the palms of your hands
It is a careful balance between being submissive and also being assertive
Wisdom is the key
You will use wisdom to know when to put on each of those two garments

Hubby is a very very private person.
Not that he don't socialize but all these my territory is my territory kind of.
He will start a project and won't tell u.
Phone is a no go area.
He has one room to himself. Everywhere filled with his stuffs and he can keep old things too.
I didn't fight over phone, didn't worry over projects he don't tell me about.
But gradually, I took over without him knowing.
He is still doing his private things and stuff but I can say he can't start and end something without my input.
Bc of him,i hv become a pro in building so we can rub minds together if he bring something like that up.
It all takes wisdom.
That was the only thing I asked for.
Me I no get strength to nag and fight.

babyosisi:
There was a funny story on my recent vacation
One evening I was very tired and Oga wanted us to get on a train and visit harvard
I said why not tomorrow
He said no,today,if you are not interested I will go alone
I said haba how can we come here together and you go visiting sites alone,allow me rest na,we will go tomorrow
The man refused,got up,dressed,zipped up his jacket and left saying a goodbye I didn't respond too well to
He went down to the hotel lobby,15 minutes later ,he was back upstairs
I just laughed inside,next day we visited those sites
Many years ago I would have talked about how he is always doing this and doing that and how he was ruining the vacation
He gets mad I get mad,he storms out and will be gone for hours while I am fuming and boiling over
I don't do that anymore
There are some things that work,it took me years but I eventually learned them

No be men!
Forget all the gragra
Study them and u will find out that it all ends in gragra. That is what we all fear.
If u can see beyond gragra,abeg go pour urself a chilled drink.
He must mellow down.

He will soon come for kpekus after the gragra.
Men!

Women should study cleopatra and laws of power.
Unless that man don't find u attractive.

moca:
Gbam!
Hubby is a very very private person.
Not that he don't socialize but all these my territory is my territory kind of.
He will start a project and won't tell u.
Phone is a no go area.
He has one room to himself. Everywhere filled with his stuffs and he can keep old things too.
I didn't fight over phone, didn't worry over projects he don't tell me about.
But gradually, I took over without him knowing.
He is still doing his private things and stuff but I can say he can't start and end something without my input.
Bc of him,i hv become a pro in building so we can rub minds together if he bring something like that up.
It all takes wisdom.
That was the only thing I asked for.
Me I no get strength to nag and fight.

Whenever I pray for myself and pray for hubby,I ask for wisdom and I believe God answers that prayer because the way I get insight into things amaze me and I know it could only come from God
Wisdom is so essential
My father whom I love to pieces was in my home recently and he told me that after he read about king Solomon and also came across the scripture where God says anyone lacking wisdom should ask and will receive it,he started praying for wisdom.
Wisdom will make you know not just the right things to do but the right times to do them
There are some things a woman shouldn't respond to
Some spoken words or actions you ignore and don't take to heart.
Like you there are very few things my hubby does that he doesn't seek my input at some stage
Even when he kicks against my suggestion,many times he comes around to do what I suggested
I have learned not to argue while stating my points
Men hate confrontation from a woman
It is almost like an assault on their manhood and he will fight you with his last breathe
Been there
There are ways to get a man on your side

moca:

No be men!
Forget all the gragra
Study them and u will find out that it all ends in gragra. That is what we all fear.
If u can see beyond gragra,abeg go pour urself a chilled drink.
He must mellow down.

He will soon come for kpekus after the gragra.
Men!

Women should study cleopatra and laws of power.
Unless that man don't find u attractive.

My best friend will say ada ,emeka will get angry when I do this but I have already decided that is what I will do,highest he will get angry for two days and we will get back to Normal and resume the marriage

I unconsciously spend a large percentage of time praying to have a wonderful family where I can do all these things men run from with my wife and kids together and what i read here are stories about husbands who feel too big to do these little things that bonds fathers and children, tomorrow the same men will be jealous that the kids prefer mummy to daddy.

Let me ask these questions. Is it a crime for the family to have at least 1 meal a day together? Is it bad for a man to at least cook once every week for the family? Is it a crime to at least have a chat time where everyone is home all distracting electronics turned off while everyone takes turns to review his or her week, get suggestions, supports, advises make requests, make deals? These little things that don't seem to matter to a man bonds families, Your kids should look forward to coming home rather than look forward to going out, it all starts with three values we inculcate in them and the best way to teach em that is by how they grow up seeing u treat their mum. I believe most men are the reason why marriages are boring. The women have their own sides too, i used to think it is the poverty situation that causes this issues because the man is busy trying to make ends meet but now i no longer see it that way because even well to do couples complain of the same thing.

My honest advice to the ladies not yet married is to plan out these things during courtship, indirectly find out his perspective and opinion on a husband helping out with house chores. Don't ask him to promise you he would cos u will get that fake promise. You must be an expert at extracting such informations. Find out his roles in his parents house(will explain this part in my next post).

shrekandfiona my boy stays with me at times in the kitchen giving me things I need to reach, he packs his toys and those of his sister when it's almost bedtime, he baths and at times baths his sister for me when I am running late.

Good boy

moca:

No be men!
Forget all the gragra
Study them and u will find out that it all ends in gragra. That is what we all fear.
If u can see beyond gragra,abeg go pour urself a chilled drink.
He must mellow down.

He will soon come for kpekus after the gragra.
Men!

Women should study cleopatra and laws of power.
Unless that man don't find u attractive.

Lol i don dey suspect u oh. I get ur point but that the "gra gra" part is a bit misleading oh. You don't want one young girl reading this to think that everything a husband says he will or he won't do is just gra gra or he is bluffing cos if she carry that mentality marry man wey rigid and means most of what he says she go wound oh, lastly it is very misleading for a woman to think that kpekus is the ultimate formula to having her way with her husband,...........if she jam he won't need to cheat but she go wound oh lol.

Summary of what I am saying is that it takes a mature mind to understand your last post but the misleading to the rookies so always leave a caveat like Babyosisi does in some of her posts. Godbless all you wonderful ladies taking care of naughty boys, you are strong lol.

FOREXMARTS:


Lol i don dey suspect u oh. I get ur point but that the "gra gra" part is a bit misleading oh. You don't want one young girl reading this to think that everything a husband says he will or he won't do is just gra gra or he is bluffing cos if she carry that mentality marry man wey rigid and means most of what he says she go wound oh, lastly it is very misleading for a woman to think that kpekus is the ultimate formula to having her way with her husband,...........if she jam he won't need to cheat but she go wound oh lol.

Summary of what I am saying is that it takes a mature mind to understand your last post but the misleading to the rookies so always leave a caveat like Babyosisi does in some of her posts. Godbless all you wonderful ladies taking care of naughty boys, you are strong lol.

Oh no, that was marriage 201. Those who have graduated from101 class knows what I'm saying.
When u must have done ur home work well, u can now progress.
Like now,hubby hasn't been home for a while and just got into the city,called that he is going for one family emergency.
I wasn't happy cos we all should go and told him so. He flared up.
And he was inside public transport. I had to cut d phone.
Obviously,he is so stressed up and hearing that news didn't lessen it.
I also worsened the whole ish.
What do I do even if what he did wasn't right?
Will tell him sorry and placate him once he open d door.Then praise him.
That way he will even start apologizing without u saying anything.
These r things I mean by applying wisdom.

Everyone needs ME time..damiso can't emphasise it enough. For your sanity and also to be a better mother and wife..whether its that soak in the bath, trip to the saloon to do your nails, supermarket, coffee with a friend or even just curled up on the sofa watching Scandal

Our men reading abeg please take these lil ones off us from time to time having children under 5 around you ALL THE TIME (with no break) is enough to make one a stressed out wreck...I love my kids to bits but really I can not quantify how i love when hubby takes them off me and I have time alone with my own thoughts and not saying 'stop it' 'stop climbing' ' leave her alone' or even hearing 'mummy'100 times in 2 hrs. As I type they are out (its mother's day in the UK tomorrow they are trying to code that they are at the park but I know they have gone to buy card and gift ) and I just love the quiet calm after a hectic week at work. My normal self would have been cleaning all the house corners but I have just decided to maximise this time alone so I am lying down on the bed watching tv and browsing NL.Na pesin born me too as I always say

Babyosisi's post was spot on.

moca:


Oh no, that was marriage 201. Those who have graduated from101 class knows what I'm saying.
When u must have done ur home work well, u can now progress.
Like now,hubby hasn't been home for a while and just got into the city,called that he is going for one family emergency.
I wasn't happy cos we all should go and told him so. He flared up.
And he was inside public transport. I had to cut d phone.
Obviously,he is so stressed up and hearing that news didn't lessen it.
I also worsened the whole ish.
What do I do even if what he did wasn't right?
Will tell him sorry and placate him once he open d door.Then praise him.
That way he will even start apologizing without u saying anything.
These r things I mean by applying wisdom.

Ehen now you come so all ye fine young ladies here, una don hear say na 201 so be guided.

About the incident you just narrated now I like ur approach at correcting it. More wisdom to u my sister.

damiso:
Everyone needs ME time..damiso can't emphasise it enough. For your sanity and also to be a better mother and wife..whether its that soak in the bath, trip to the saloon to do your nails, supermarket, coffee with a friend or even just curled up on the sofa watching Scandal

Our men reading abeg please take these lil ones off us from time to time having children under 5 around you ALL THE TIME (with no break) is enough to make one a stressed out wreck...I love my kids to bits but really I can not quantify how i love when hubby takes them off me and I have time alone with my own thoughts and not saying 'stop it' 'stop climbing' ' leave her alone' or even hearing 'mummy'100 times in 2 hrs. As I type they are out (its mother's day in the UK tomorrow they are trying to code that they are at the park but I know they have gone to buy card and gift ) and I just love the quiet calm after a hectic week at work. My normal self would have been cleaning all the house corners but I have just decided to maximise this time alone so I am lying down on the bed watching tv and browsing NL.Na pesin born me too as I always say

Babyosisi's post was spot on.

Tiff lol, now wey u don code say dem dey go arrange ur package for mother's day it will longer be a surprise, but now you have to fake the surprise so u don't disappoint ur kids and hubby. Now i dey pity them lol. There is God oh. Hahahahaha

moca:

No be men!
Forget all the gragra
Study them and u will find out that it all ends in gragra. That is what we all fear.
If u can see beyond gragra,abeg go pour urself a chilled drink.
He must mellow down.

He will soon come for kpekus after the gragra.
Men!

Women should study cleopatra and laws of power.
Unless that man don't find u attractive.

Exposition kwa?

Thanks so much for sharing your story, it makes me know am not alone in this, but mennnn you are really trying. i have to do somethings fast so as not to let own get to this stage.

shrekandfiona:

when I read your post, it was a "deja vu" for me. Like you I have 2 kids pregnant for my 3rd as well. I married a traditional man who sees the woman as a domestic being. I am working though so what I did was employ a house help he never supported at 1st but I pay her myself. She is not a live in help. She resumes 8am and closes 5pm when I get back from work.

I wake up daily by 5am, cook for the house wake kids up by 6:15am to get them ready for school, their school bus picks them up by 7am, thereafter I prepare for my work. Hubby is still asleep till 8am when he wakes to eat his breakfast. I leave for work by 8:30am by then the help has resumed for cleaning.

can you believe by 1:30pm everyday hubby calls me to ask if his lunch is served at home and me am at work o. I have to call my help at home to make sure his lunch is ready. Note that he doesn't allow the help to cook his meals o. I cook and store away while the help just warms and serve.

It has not been easy but I had to adjust. So my advise to you is to get a help (not live in o) or get a relation like a younger sister or cousin to help you out because if your hubby is like mine, he will never yield to helping around the house o. I had to even change jobs to a more flexible but lower paying one just to reduce stress