Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship - Family - Nairaland
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| Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by Nobody: 3:33pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Hello everyone, Please I'm in a fix at the moment as regards my relationship. I met my girlfriend while I was serving, she was an ND student then, but she's through now. Everything was sweet between us while I was serving we were deeply in love, after service I returned back to my base awaiting gainful employment, by the way I stay in the west she stays in the north, so we are very far apart. I however promised her that once I get employment I would come back to see her. All through while I was at home we would call each other spend several minutes gisting, chatting and expressing our love to each other. As God would have it I got an employment after about 7months at home, so I moved to the south-south, after about 3 months I traveled to see her......... in short!! everything was going on fine until recently when her parents got to find out about our relationship (that's another long story) they vehemently cautioned her about it based on ethnic differences (Yoruba and Igbo palava) so I asked her to take sometime to pray and think about it again after some days I called but she wasn't picking to cut a long story short the next day she called and said she wanted all communications to stop between us.......I was heart broken in fact I said some harsh words and then said she can go if she wants to. But I couldn't rest I was so down casted I couldn't concentrate at work and even at home I was just madly missing her until gradually I was getting myself back.....After like 2 weeks she sent me a love sms from an anonymous phone number I knew she was the one so I called her direct line to ask her she initially wanted to deny but she owned up and said she was sorry, that she was confused blablabla.........Invariably we made up but shortly after that she has completely changed, she doesn't call like before again, if I don't call she wont bother calling, this was someone who if we don't speak on a day she won't be happy........even when I call these days she just answers coldly if I ask her what the problem is she would say 'nothing' I've pleaded with her, tried to be patient with her but she doesn't seem to be changing........and whenever I ask her if she doesn't feel comfortable with me anymore she would say I complain too much or I don't understand.......If I ask if we should break up she would say No.......I'm just so confused, the worst aspect is that I love her so so much I havnt been myself lately always sad just cause of her, whenever I want to call her I would be scared of what she would say......I took time to give background details so that you guys would know where we are coming from I just need advice on the way forward with her.................. Thanks. |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by Nobody: 3:37pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
more relationships wahala |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by Dyt(f): 3:37pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
That's the price we pay for love To be frank with u, it's over but she loves u as much as u love her Pls pack ur hrt together n move on cos this relationship ain't heading no fuvkong where Bear it as u may carry on like this for a long time Ndo Love is truly beautiful  3 Likes |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by ArchEnemy(m): 3:39pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Gird up your loins and move on Bro It seems there is no way where you are treading..... Its difficult when you love someone so much, but freedom is better on the long run than the recurrent Headache you are getting, by being dragged along. |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by CountDracula(m): 3:41pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Move on bro! Dnt b a pvssy |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by TV01(m): 3:51pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
OP, 1. Never pursue wildly or be supplicant to a woman 2. Never be overly caught up in your feelings for a woman - especially one that's not your wife I will not castigate or shame you for your decidedly unmanly whimpering in this instance - as long as you commit to never doing it again  !Are you giving her money? If so stop. Acquaint yourself with some local hotties. End of  TV 2 Likes |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by zizazizu: 3:53pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
This is sad. Just reading it depressed me. To be in love with someone and still be scared to call them for fear of the unknown is just downright tormenting. Guy, that alone shows how bad things are. I would advice that u let go but ur heart wants to stay. Either choice will hurt you but letting go is a path to quick healing and ur chance of finding new love. Chai! This is just saddening. *drives off this thread to jokes section for something uplifting* 1 Like |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by bellong: 4:05pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Bulkfella: When a relationship gets to the point in bold, it is time to say goodbye to it. It is no longer a relationship but bondage, master-slave relationship. Move on with your life. Her parents are against your proposed union and she is only using you to mark time till she gets her preferred replacement. The earlier you forget her, the better for you. |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by Dyt(f): 4:10pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
GOODBYE MY LOVER Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun, Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won. So I took what's mine by eternal right. Took your soul out into the night. It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care. You touched my heart you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals. And love is blind and that I knew when, My heart was blinded by you. I've kissed your lips and held your head. Shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I am a dreamer but when I wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep. And I will bear my soul in time, When I'm kneeling at your feet. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow. 7 Likes |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by DonTim1: 4:21pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Bro, time to move on, believe me, another dude is now invoved or there's a distraction somewhere, truth she loves u, u do too, but to stay 2weeks not taking you calls, if there wasn't a distraction (she cant last that long even with her parents watching her like cctv, she go call u) |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by ImBae(f): 4:21pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
OP, I completely understand you and know how you feel. I'm almost in the same situation as you (religious differences tho) and I know its best to let go. I'm doing that right now and I can assure you it gets better everyday. Be good. |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by Nobody: 4:30pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Dyt: You are funny o. Must you type james blunt's song? you are making it harder for him na.  Op, please this is the time to say goodbye. Move on. you will fall in love again. |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by Dyt(f): 4:39pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Sophyrocks:  |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by goodmorning40: 4:41pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Loving who does not love u and do not love who loves u, that is the irony of life |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by mylora: 4:42pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
TV01: If there was ever a matured advise |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by Nobody: 5:01pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Thanks so much @all for your comments they've been of soothing relief.....but the problem is I really find it difficult to understand why what seems easy for other guys is difficult for me, I mean moving on, sometimes ago I determined to end the relationship 'cos of her attitude, but I still find myself loving her, I'm just helpless. I can't imagine life without her yet I'm going through pains it looks ridiculous and mysterious to me......PLEASE HELP!! |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by Nobody: 6:48pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
More advice pls |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by freecocoa(f): 7:00pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
OP there's nothing more to say, MOVE ON. It can be hard believe me but it gets better eventually, would you rather continue this way? |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by crackhaus: 7:13pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Bulkfella:You having girl problems, I feel bad for you son... Could have 99 problems but a Still want more advice? |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by Nobody: 7:20pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
freecocoa:thanks...... |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by slimyem: 7:27pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Bulkfella:I don't think heartbreak and moving on afterwards is ever easy for anyone.You just find the strength to somehow. It's over. Lick your wounds and channel your emotions into something else. It's doable. |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by pretydiva(f): 8:00pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Ur just a side guy /an alternative 2 her. D earlier u let her go n tk gud care of urself, d beta 4 u. She's no more into u,d hand writing is boldly written on d wall. Be wise my friend |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by onegig(m): 9:03pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Bulkfella: Chai...her juju strong gan. Your life depends only on you and you alone. Forget the lies you tell yourself. You were alive and doing well when you had never met her and you would be when she's gone. Forget soaking yourself in a pity party. First recognise that she's gone, then distance yourself from her or things that remind you of her. Go out and invest more time into things that are productive and positive. Time is the true healer of most things. Give it time and you would be fine. Also you need real closure to this. If not you would just be gallivanting around. Call her and have an heart to heart talk as regards the challenges. You may want to know the true status of things, are the parents having a change of heart? or is this their talk final. If they are still adamant and there is no way out then officially close down the relationship. Be realistic and biz like and don't try to force her decisions. Good luck. 2 Likes |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by MizMyColi(f): 9:08pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
 crackhaus: 1 Like |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by xklassic: 9:19pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
its obvious its over. Concentrate more on your job and things that makes you happy. Believe me , you will get over her soon. The right one will soon come. |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by MizMyColi(f): 9:20pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
OP. Inshut, I'm short of words..... Permit me to cry with you. It is at times like this that I wish I had the one solution fits all fix..... I'm glad you agree you have to move on with your life. Let everything else you do be against that backdrop. Will there be moments when you feel there's no normal life for you without her? YES! But don't struggle or fight with the thought.......Just be... If possible, repeat it to yourself everyday till your mind becomes acclimatized with your decision. I know how it feels, trust me....I am not talking as someone who has never felt what it's like to be in your shoes. OP, the help you need lies within you. You need to make a firm resolve to let her go......one that reverberates with the core of your being. Until then.........there's not much anyone can do from this end. ***modified*** The poster below me just rekindled a thought I drowned it..... Letting her go might actually force her to rise against her status quo and find her way back to you. But ITMT, just let go, and please don't do so in the hopes she'll come back. Might spell for some disaster. Let go without expectations. 1 Like |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by refreshrate: 9:20pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Guy dont move anywhere i swear. Ive walked this very same road you are issues of tribe and even religion in my case and you wont believe today shes married to me. Move fire. No light now and ive been firing my laptop too long so batterys kinda low red light blinking and all. i go come back after light is restored and lappy is charged. Just hang in there. Meanwhile first how old is the girl? What about you? We go must kill this situation. |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by Chillis: 9:30pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
I took my time to read your story. ,as she no gree call you.,Oya gimme your number make I call you .anyway, she has changed . Seems she doesn't want the relationship anymore . You have to confirm then look for a way to move on. such is life. It Hurts but you will be fine. kpele |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by crackhaus: 9:32pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
MizMyColi:You don't like Jay Z? 2 Likes |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by MizMyColi(f): 10:18pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by focus7: 10:38pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
Dyt:fully in support. He should just move forward. |
| Re: Please He Needs Matured Advice On His Relationship by bennyrazz: 11:25pm On Mar 18, 2015 |
99.9% of the posters on this thread have asked the OP to move on. Well, if he doesn't move on, he wants to ka bun ku o fe te |
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