firstly, I would not like to disclose my Name. i Have serious Issues with my relationship and i need the help of Nairalanders. i was one of the people who believed that girls in church are God lovers and should be the right one,I met this lady in the Church Rccg YOUTH CAMP. Immediately i saw her i loved her zeal for God and more-so, she was beautiful and she had a quiet a LOOK. i said to mysef this is my chance to get a wife, At least the right one should come from the house of God. We got talking and before you know it we got really close and after a few months we started a relationship. I so much loved her that i sent her stuffs from Lagos because she was based in abuja without she even asking she got so accustomed to me sending gifts money and all. I didn't mind after all i was doing it for the person i loved. Few months into the relationship Troubles began The church quiet girl became different a person asking for Money almost every week i was still financially balanced so i was able to give it to her. But i was trying to control her demands and to also help her have an independent mind so i gave her half of whatever she asked. Then she began complaining that what i gave her was too small and that i never done nothing for her yet. I felt bad because i met her demands in the best way i could i called her severally to let know the current state of things but each time i raised the issues she feels i portray her a Gold digger. I taught i was the one with the problem So i decided to make her happy. one weekend i went to the stores and i GOT her some expensive shoes worth 85k thinking i was going to make her happy i sent the shoes to her with the belief that i was going to get my relationship back on track. Lo and behold when she got the shoes she grumbly appreciated the shoes and remind me of how much her X boyfriend who is a son of the House of reps gives her. so i still haven't done anything big. i felt bad and vowed never to give her anything again But it was just word of mouth few weeks later I had to go work in Abuja for a project that lasted a week where she came to spend time with with me for 5days we had sex and fun and the relationship felt like it was back on track she had requested for money and i gave her without hesitation because i felt we had settled. immediately i got to lagos she asked me for another money and i taught that since i had giving you money before i left abuja why ask me again for another money she started her attitude again. i was lost and confused and i asked her that why would attitude issues come up Each time i don't fufill your request and her reply was that she i am always mistaken her for a Gold digger and she was done with the relationship. Been tired of the headaches i said ok. But recently she has been calling and texting caring trying to find out how i am doing and all... i don't know if she wants to come back into the relationship or ? i asked her and she said she wanted me as a good friend. I know if i give a goal she would say Yes i still love her but i don't like that character. Pls i need your advise on what to do

You started wrongly by saying yes to her request all in the name of love. Now she is used to that idea of asking and receiving. I would advice you stick to your policy of knowing when to give or not, mind you its not a guarantee that she will marry you. I can say confidently that you are not the only one in her life because it is clear that she is materialistic and would dump your sorry ass when someone who is more buoyant comes her way (if he hasn't already).

Meanwhile how can you be so serious with such a girl who resides in abuja? you try o!!!!

My advice is cut down your expenses on her. Does she school? Or what does she do actually? Is she from a rich home?

In the words of Lee Marvin..."Ain't nothing worse than a ho turned religious"

You started the relationship with MONEY(material things)......bro you have to maintain it with it.

The character is the person. So who or what do you love?

andromida:
The character is the person. So who or what do you love?

yeah...you are on point there.

Eberex:
You started wrongly by saying yes to her request all in the name of love. Now she is used to that idea of asking and receiving. I would advice you stick to your policy of knowing when to give or not, mind you its not a guarantee that she will marry you. I can say confidently that you are not the only one in her life because it is clear that she is materialistic and would dump your sorry ass when someone who is more buoyant comes her way (if he hasn't already).

Meanwhile how can you be so serious with such a girl who resides in abuja? you try o!!!!

My advice is cut down your expenses on her. Does she school? Or what does she do actually? Is she from a rich home?

She is a medical student in igbenedon... But i don't think school is the major reason.

andromida:
The character is the person. So who or what do you love?

the person i mean is the good side of her.. Every one got flaws but i dont know how to work with her flaws

Bwon:
the person i mean is the good side of her.. Every one got flaws but i dont know how to work with her flaws

So what is the good side of her and what are her her flaws?

How can you even think of making such girl your wife? Marry her at your own detriment. The earlier you realize that
the girl is using you, the better for you. Please let her go. Instead channel the money you give to her to something
better or better still give it to your family members since you don't know what to do with money.

Bwon:
She is a medical student in igbenedon... But i don't think school is the major reason.

Yes school is a major reason oga. Why do i say so? The parents should be responsible for her tuition and wardrobe. You only come in in area of recharge cards and up-keeping. But the most important thing is communication, but in your own case communication only happens when she needs something. i guess she talks about it more when you guys talk.

I know females who are contented with what their guys sends to them. Hence i would term your girl as materialistic who doesn't love or give a shit about you.

Eberex:


Yes school is a major reason oga. Why do i say so? The parents should be responsible for her tuition and wardrobe. You only come in in area of recharge cards and up-keeping. But the most important thing is communication, but in your own case communication only happens when she needs something. i guess she talks about it more when you guys talk.

I know females who are contented with what their guys sends to them. Hence i would term your girl as materialistic who doesn't love or give a shit about you.

*sigh*

Bwon:
*sigh*

You dont need a crystal ball to know how it will end. Or do you want to know? Can your heart take it? Cos i can tell you now.

Eberex:


You dont need a crystal ball to know how it will end. Or do you want to know? Can your heart take it? Cos i can tell you now.

WHAT?? Afterall, It hurts more

..

Bwon:
WHAT?? Afterall, It hurts more

Let me give u an insight.

The reason she is begging to be friends with you is because every girl likes a generous guy, and you are one.

If you agree to her request as a friend now, then i would advice you dont send her anything since you are on her friend zone list. but if you two want to continue with the relationship then be prepared for part 2.

Here is part 2: She will drop the bomb shell that she doesn't want to hurt you all those times and that you are a very nice guy, but she didn't fall in love with you. And bam! that ends your ''how many years relationship''.

Part 3: After you've moved on for years she will pop out from no where to say ''hey whats up''?

..............To be continued

Baba walk away

Eberex:


Let me give u an insight.

The reason she is begging to be friends with you is because every girl likes a generous guy, and you are one.

If you agree to her request as a friend now, then i would advice you dont send her anything since you are on her friend zone list. but if you two want to continue with the relationship then be prepared for part 2.

Here is part 2: She will drop the bomb shell that she doesn't want to hurt you all those times and that you are a very nice guy, but she didn't fall in love with you. And bam! that ends your ''how many years relationship''.

Part 3: After you've moved on for years she will pop out from no where to say ''hey whats up''?

..............To be continued

wow... Is she capable of this.

Bwon:

wow... Is she capable of this.

Just remember this thread when it comes to pass

Am a lady, but ops,u started d relationship in a wrong way . She demands money anyhow,and u try to meet up her needs and she does not still appreciate . Bros na ur fault oooooooo. if u wan get savings,abeg pick race,because if u guys eventually gets married,and d money is not forthcoming,bros she go divorce u ooooooo .
Yes,i like money agreed,but not in a crazy way like hers,because i know where i am coming from and i know where i am going to.

[quote author=echobee post=31774492]Am a lady, but ops,u started d relationship in a wrong way . She demands money anyhow,and u try to meet up her needs and she does not still appreciate . Bros na ur fault oooooooo. if u wan get savings,abeg pick race,because if u guys eventually gets married,and d money is not forthcoming,bros she go divorce u ooooooo .
Yes,i like money agreed,but not in a crazy way like hers,because i know where i am coming from and i know where i am going to.[/quote thanks dear

echobee:
Am a lady, but ops,u started d relationship in a wrong way . She demands money anyhow,and u try to meet up her needs and she does not still appreciate . Bros na ur fault oooooooo. if u wan get savings,abeg pick race,because if u guys eventually gets married,and d money is not forthcoming,bros she go divorce u ooooooo .
Yes,i like money agreed,but not in a crazy way like hers,because i know where i am coming from and i know where i am going to.

thanks dear

echobee:
Am a lady, but ops,u started d relationship in a wrong way . She demands money anyhow,and u try to meet up her needs and she does not still appreciate . Bros na ur fault oooooooo. if u wan get savings,abeg pick race,because if u guys eventually gets married,and d money is not forthcoming,bros she go divorce u ooooooo .
Yes,i like money agreed,but not in a crazy way like hers,because i know where i am coming from and i know where i am going to.

Thanks Dear

Bwon:
thanks dear

U welcome

Bwon,

If you should go back to her write your will first.

jnrbayano:
Bwon,

If you should go back to her write your will first.

Death is no Joke bro... Abeg o Na Advise i ask . thanks tho!

Op from my perspective, I don't think she LOVES u maybe she just CARES nd those r 2 different things

Imagine her comparing u with her rich ex nd telling u dat__ mehn wtf!

ivyT:
Op from my perspective, I don't think she LOVES u maybe she just CARES nd those r 2 different things

Imagine her comparing u with her rich ex nd telling u dat__ mehn wtf!

that was disheartening men!!! Funny how love works

Different strokes for different folks.

1. I've got buddies that have relationships founded on serious cash flow. As in imagine a guy that doles out cash so often for a girl that he doesn't even bother sheathing his debit card. It's always on hand. He was born with a silver spoon and he's paid. She's a serious spender and lives by the mantra that a guy's gotta shower her with cash at all times. That's their dynamic and they're fine with it.

2. Got other friends where the guy is frugal to a fault and the daddy's girl is a spender. Over time and with a lot of love and tolerance, they both found an equilibrium. He's not as frugal but she's not as spendthrift any more.

3. Another couple I know, both of them aka-aradite. It's cute to watch them in action feeding off each others tight hand. They couldn't possibly love each other more.


I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't see why you need advice from anybody. You've gotta do you. As an adult; you need to know what you want, what you can tolerate, what you are willing to fight to change in a person, what you can't deal with and so on.

Let me put it this way. Ask yourself these questions. Can I live with someone like this for the rest of my life? Do I think she can change? Can I effect that change? Is it worth the effort? Etc.

The three couples I mentioned above would reply to your thread with different answers.

Do you Mr man.
Goodluck.

uknownboy:
Different strokes for different folks.

1. I've got buddies that have relationships founded on serious cash flow. As in imagine a guy that doles out cash so often for a girl that he doesn't even bother sheathing his debit card. It's always on hand. He was born with a silver spoon and he's paid. She's a serious spender and lives by the mantra that a guy's gotta shower her with cash at all times. That's their dynamic and they're fine with it.

2. Got other friends where the guy is frugal to a fault and the daddy's girl is a spender. Over time and with a lot of love and tolerance, they both found an equilibrium. He's not as frugal but she's not as spendthrift any more.

3. Another couple I know, both of them aka-aradite. It's cute to watch them in action feeding off each others tight hand. They couldn't possibly love each other more.


I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't see why you need advice from anybody. You've gotta do you. As an adult; you need to know what you want, what you can tolerate, what you are willing to fight to change in a person, what you can't deal with and so on.

Let me put it this way. Ask yourself these questions. Can I live with someone like this for the rest of my life? Do I think she can change? Can I effect that change? Is it worth the effort? Etc.

The three couples I mentioned above would reply to your thread with different answers.

Do you Mr man.
Goodluck.

THANK YOU