DollyParton1:

You always give this negative energy when it comes to female folks.

Are you sure about that? Cos I know I'm probably one of the few posters who mess around with chics from section to section. Shyte, if I were to start following all the chics I've flirted with, and clown around with from time to time, depending on my mood - I'd be following over 30 chics right now. Save for some scandalous ones with multiple handles.

I'm a lover and the ladies' man. I dunno but I'm not used to just any chic I don't know on a level attacking me. Apart from main chics, and chics I gave the D business - and that's understandable. Perhaps a lot of these naija chics were not raised right and they're utterly disrespectful lol. Respect the original black man - dammit.

Then again, all the chics I know from out here aren't into the feminism tripe. They might not be fully traditional, but I don't know any chic around my age, or over 21 who's totally into it - apart from a few things they agree with. And they're more enlightened and educated than bozos either stuck in naija or just left the country. It comes with the territory and growing up having first hand experience about race relations, and sharing responsibilities in how to make ya community better as a whole. So, expect negative energy when I'm dealing with ignorant folks who have no clue whatsoever about what they're doing.

DollyParton1:

he has a third leg.

Yadoctora:


Then you agree with the op.
Men dont fix the roof or mend stuffs. They call on people who do such things to do it.They pay to get them done. Women are empowered and can as well pay. So, what makes the man different?

So then, riddle me this. Why do women still prefer a higher earning male than themselves

SirShymexx:


Are you sure about that? Cos I know I'm probably one of the few posters who mess around with chics from section to section. Shyte, if I were to start following all the chics I've flirted with, and clown around with from time to time, depending on my mood - I'd be following over 30 chics right now. Save for some scandalous ones with multiple handles.

I'm a lover and the ladies' man. I dunno but I'm not used to just any chic I don't know on a level attacking me. Apart from main chics, and chics I gave the D business - and that's understandable. Perhaps a lot of these naija chics were not raised right and they're utterly disrespectful lol. Respect the original black man - dammit.

Then again, all the chics I know from out here aren't into the feminism tripe. They might not be fully traditional, but I don't know any chic around my age, or over 21 who's totally into it - apart from a few things they agree with. And they're more enlightened and educated than bozos either stuck in naija or just left the country. It comes with the territory and growing up having first hand experience about race relations, and sharing responsibilities in how to make ya community better as a whole. So, expect negative energy when I'm dealing with ignorant folks who have no clue whatsoever about what they're doing.

Well this has put things into perspective. I will be sure to notice the origin and flow of words and punches next time it comes up.

SirShymexx:


Are you sure about that? Cos I know I'm probably one of the few posters who mess around with chics from section to section. Shyte, if I were to start following all the chics I've flirted with, and clown around with from time to time, depending on my mood - I'd be following over 30 chics right now. Save for some scandalous ones with multiple handles.

I'm a lover and the ladies' man. I dunno but I'm not used to just any chic I don't know on a level attacking me. Apart from main chics, and chics I gave the D business - and that's understandable. Perhaps a lot of these naija chics were not raised right and they're utterly disrespectful lol. Respect the original black man - dammit.

Then again, all the chics I know from out here aren't into the feminism tripe. They might not be fully traditional, but I don't know any chic around my age, or over 21 who's totally into it - apart from a few things they agree with. And they're more enlightened and educated than bozos either stuck in naija or just left the country. It comes with the territory and growing up having first hand experience about race relations, and sharing responsibilities in how to make ya community better as a whole. So, expect negative energy when I'm dealing with ignorant folks who have no clue whatsoever about what they're doing.

DollyParton1:

Well this has put things into perspective. I will be sure to notice the origin and flow of words and punches next time it comes up.

Make sure you do, my doll.

Erm, still looking for love?

Timbuktou:
So then, riddle me this. Why do women still prefer a higher earning male than themselves

Some of you men are insecure with high achieving women. Every woman would rather not have an immature, cry-baby for a husband. It is just a preventive measure. Not an innate need for a boss.

Justfollowit:

You know I'm the ladies' man...I be playing with decent chics with good home training all the time...not chicken heads raised in dysfunctional homes lol.

Also, how many normal black chics from the UK do you know who are feminists or say the nonsense I read on here everyday?

DollyParton1:


1. I have seen cases of healthy homes where the wives earn equally as or more than the husband. The idea is that in such homes, the man should realize that he can't just pull the "traditional I am the head of the family" card.

2. Women tend to opt for richer husbands because it is safe for them. They can be who they are with the man without the man scrutinising their actions and thereby tagging them as arrogant.

So what does protection entail?

1. In such cases, the woman is head of household. Simple as that.

2. Oh, so women want to be without control, doing as they please? They don't want to submit to authority but want to be under authority? They don't need to be married then. If you're going to be married to a man be prepared to submit. Hehehe

SirShymexx:


Make sure you do, my doll.

Erm, still looking for love?

Looking for a rich bloke.

DollyParton1:

Looking for a rich bloke.

Lol. That's what up.

I can be ya connect - I went to Uni (and from raves) with a few guys whose parents run the show in naija. Most of them are out in naij now running their parents' companies. I also have loads of families around me who're rich (naija standard).

I can hook you up.

Yadoctora:


Some of you men are insecure with high achieving women. Every woman would rather not have an immature, cry-baby for a husband. It is just a preventive measure. Not an innate need for a boss.

I don't any guy who has a career would be "insecure" around high-flying women. I'd say successful women are more attractive/appealing cos they have a mentality you can relate with easily, from the perspective of being independent. And with that: you will also get a great value when it comes to a good mother who will be able to raise ya kids the right way.

DollyParton1:


They scratch their balls while watching TV too.

Abi o, Dont mind them

DollyParton1:

Errrrm u fix the roof urself? Or u pay the carpenter to do it?
Yea sweeping wont kill the head of the family. What's wrong in occasionally helping your wife when you notice that she is overwhelmed with duties. She is helping you too by earning to support the family.

I actually fix things and call and pay for those things I can't fix. My wife shouldn't pay for what I should, it's not her place to do so. Her place is to cook, clean, mop, or see to it that all that is done. I've lived alone for years and never once did I feel "overwhelmed" taking care of my surroundings or cooking my meals. I don't need my wife's money to provide well for my home, madam. If she wants to work, good for her as far as it doesn't affect her duties in the home negatively.

Timbuktou:

1. In such cases, the woman is head of household. Simple as that.

You misunderstood my point. Did u notice I wrote "traditional".

2. Oh, so women want to be without control, doing as they please? They don't want to submit to authority but want to be under authority? They don't need to be married then. If you're going to be married to a man be prepared to submit. Hehehe

Shiiitt!!! You did not just write that..
You wanna control your wife? Why would u wanna control your wife? Get a slave if u wanna control someone. Parents should not even control their children talk less of a husband controlling his wife.
Yall are misinterpreting the term submission.

So u have refused to explain what protection entails. As a man you should know, so please enlighten me.

SirShymexx:


Lol. That's what up.

I can be ya connect - I went to Uni (and from raves) with a few guys whose parents run the show in naija. Most of them are out in naij now running their parents' companies. I also have loads of families around me who're rich (naija standard).

I can hook you up.

lol..
Oil money? that's the real deal.

DollyParton1:

lol..
Oil money? that's the real deal.

Lol. Arab money right there.

But you have to be prepared with the madness that comes with it - you might up being treated like a slave cos it isn't ya money.

I got them on insta. Don't have their naij numbers but if you're on it, I'll shout them on ya behalf.

SirShymexx:


You know I'm the ladies' man...I be playing with decent chics with good home training all the time...not chicken heads raised in dysfunctional homes lol.

Also, how many normal black chics from the UK do you know who are feminists or say the nonsense I read on here everyday?

What Dollyparton1 was trying to tell you is that you address gender issues based on what you have been told, read and the little experience you have. You are so lucky to have grown up in a normal family.

Sorry to disappoint you, you must be too charming to realise that 3 in 1 (according to my experience) of your normal black 'educated' chic is a feminist, too extreme that I do not bother to convince them.

SirShymexx:


I don't any guy who has a career would be "insecure" around high-flying women. I'd say successful women are more attractive/appealing cos they have a mentality you can relate with easily, from the perspective of being independent. And with that: you will also get a great value when it comes to a good mother who will be able to raise ya kids the right way.

Some are.

Justfollowit:


What Dollyparton1 was trying to tell you is that you address gender issues based on what you have been told, read and the little experience you have. You are so lucky to have grown up in a normal family.

Sorry to disappoint you, you must be too charming to realise that 3 in 1 (according to my experience) of your normal black 'educated' chic is a feminist, too extreme that I do not bother to convince them.

Lol. Little experience where? You talk out of ya ar.se all the time.

Well, that means you're always around the Nigerians from Nigeria crowd. I was alluding to black chics (from UK) crowd.

Timbuktou:
I actually fix things and call and pay for those things I can't fix. My wife shouldn't pay for what I should, it's not her place to do so. Her place is to cook, clean, mop, or see to it that all that is done. I've lived alone for years and never once did I feel "overwhelmed" taking care of my surroundings or cooking my meals. I don't need my wife's money to provide well for my home, madam. If she wants to work, good for her as far as it doesn't affect her duties in the home negatively.

lawd!!!!!
Errrrm you cook food for yourself only. Not for you and your partner and kids. You dont need to do the laundary of like 3 - 5 people. You dont have to bath the kids and get them ready for school while still catering for the husband too. So please, u living alone and doing ur things alone does not equate to living with and doing things for other people. You pay someone to carry out ur supposed traditional roles that makes u head of the home and u still call urself one while ur wife is still carrying out her "traditional" roles without help and probably working to earn money in order to support the family.

And good for u. You don't need your wife's money. But some family do, which is like 80% of naija families. If u have not noticed, the economy is not favourable. And we are talking of naija families in general, dont personalise this discussion.
Even if ur wife does not work, it doesn't stop u from helping her occasionally.
LAWD!!! I can't believe this ish.

Yadoctora:


Some are.

Hence I alluded to those with a career.

Obviously, if you don't have anything going for you - you'll be overwhelmed by folks above you, especially women. That has more to do with class issues, not necessarily only gender based.

SirShymexx:


Lol. Little experience where? You talk out of ya ar.se all the time.

Well, that means you're always around the Nigerians from Nigeria crowd. I was alluding to black chics (from UK) crowd.

Your uncles' experiences? b


I agree that most Nigerian women are likewise a handful of other black chics.

Justfollowit:

Your uncles' experiences? b

I agree that most Nigerian women are likewise a handful of other black chics.

That's marriage - I'm not married. Put things in context next time when you post.

Cool. At least you agree that most of them are Nigerians from Nigeria...but Nigerian (black) chics from the UK are different. They understand what's at stake and have a better view/picture of what's going on.

Yadoctora:


Some of you men are insecure with high achieving women. Every woman would rather not have an immature, cry-baby for a husband. It is just a preventive measure. Not an innate need for a boss.

Insecure about what exactly? We don't respect women who earn huge amounts of money just for that, you women require moneyed men. Your money isn't impressive to us, what impresses us
about women is your ability to be feminine and treat us like men.

Preventive measure from what exactly? Can't men look for higher earning women to prevent whatever women are running away from?

DollyParton1:

lawd!!!!!
Errrrm you cook food for yourself only. Not for you and your partner and kids. You dont need to do the laundary of like 3 - 5 people. You dont have to bath the kids and get them ready for school while still catering for the husband too. So please, u living alone and doing ur things alone does not equate to living with and doing things for other people. You pay someone to carry out ur supposed traditional roles that makes u head of the home and u still call urself one while ur wife is still carrying out her "traditional" roles without help and probably working to earn money in order to support the family.

And good for u. You don't need your wife's money. But some family do, which is like 80% of naija families. If u have not noticed, the economy is not favourable. And we are talking of naija families in general, dont personalise this discussion.
Even if ur wife does not work, it doesn't stop u from helping her occasionally.
LAWD!!! I can't believe this ish.

Men work and contribute to the home

Women work, contribute to the home AND also have to work their arses of to make sure everyone in the house is catered for.

All we ask is a little help I don't see how that could displace a man as the head of the home

SirShymexx:


That's marriage - I'm not married. Put things in context next time when you post.

Cool. At least you agree that most of them are Nigerians from Nigeria...but Nigerian (black) chics from the UK are different. They understand what's at stake and have a better view/picture of what's going on.

I am imploring you to view issues the other way. It will go a long way to balance your opinion on certain issues

Justfollowit:


Men work and contribute to the home

Women work, contribute to the home AND also have to work their arses of to make sure everyone in the house is catered for.

All we ask is a little help I don't see how that could displace a man as the head of the home

My post is based on his previous posts and his definition of the role of a man. If the wife is contributing equally as the husband and she is left to do all the running around in the home without help at all because the man is the head of the home and he shouldn't be seen being domestic, I dont think he deserves to be referred to as the head of the home.

Justfollowit:


I am imploring you to view issues the other way. It will go a long way to balance your opinion on certain issues

Well, I can't view things from a woman's perspective - it's going to be flawed cos I'm not one. That's the mistake a lot of these women make by trying to think like a man.

And if it's about the naija experience, I can look at my parents and those around me, and see things through their own eyes - and it isn't as bad as these folks make it to be. Most of them are just lousy and lazy. Women are the back-bone of every society, hence every progressive society has progressive women who play their roles the right way. So, I'd wager that since naija is messed up - it shows the women are also messed up. That's a perfect picture right there.

Your purview of things should always be from what you're acquainted with, not things you think in ya head. Separate reality from fiction. Yes, men also have to change a lot of things - but definitely not how/what these noisemakers cry about.

DollyParton1:


My post is based on his previous posts and his definition of the role of a man. If the wife is contributing equally as the husband and she is left to do all the running around in the home without help at all because the man is the head of the home and he shouldn't be, I dont think he deserves to be referred to as the head of the home.

Sadly, that is what is happening in most homes.

A male friend narrated to me about his Aunt's family. His aunt is a banker while her husband, I don't know. It is when she gets back from work that husband would ask her to pound yam for him. I understand that only if it is once in a while. But according to me it happens very often.

While I was living with my dad alone, I called him and told him what I would be preparing for lunch. He said it was fine. I had already finished cooking when he called back and asked me to make Gbegiri for him. Initially I was angry then I thought about and realised that he is my father, he is my sole provider and I have been home all day doing nothing. Therefore he was justified.

Replay scenario if you were working full-time and yet he wants all his needs to be met ASAP- It is simply unfair.

SirShymexx:


Are they really getting the short end of the stick, or is it a case of eating ya cake and having it at the same time? And if you think fixing it is the way to go - why not fix both sides to make it a two-way street? However, these folks just want to fix are the aspects they deem unfavourable to them - while trying to keep that favours them to the detriment of the other party. It doesn't work that way. I believe the whole madness has more to do with having leverage and complete dominion over men - and that's unacceptable.

Let me cite a few examples:
- The man has to be the protector/primary-provider but decision making in the family has to the woman's responsibility - and he has no authority. When even in businesses the primary shareholders, with the highest number of shares (in terms of contribution) are always the directors/authority. So, if the man is the biggest contributor, why deny him the authority?

- Oh, African traditional marriage setting is obselete - however, paying for traditional rites/rituals during marriage ceremony isn't. And men have to pay bride, and go through all that other nonsense with the bride's family. A culture that's obsolete in the same western culture they're trying to project as "modern". Why not do away with darn redundant traditional rites/rituals - and make the evolution complete?

- Equality is the new kumbaya - but when it comes to domestic violence, she can get physical with the man and hit him. However, if he reciprocates the gesture, he automatically becomes an abuser. Why not mutual combat, affray, or self-defense (based on the first person to get physical)?

Etc.

Personally, I wouldn't mind an "evolution" that's all inclusive and that actually works - not some one-sided nonsense that's only favourable to one party. Thus creating dysfunctional marriages, with an extremely high divorce rate, unhappiness, and a sharp rise in "baby mama" culture - the bane of every society. Also, when you juxtaposition let's say our parents' generation with this one - you'll find out that despite whatever imperfection was/is in their marriages, it's still far better than what's attainable today. So, why fix it, in lieu of something more problematic? - hence I said it isn't broken. A lot of these folks just don't know what they want - it's basically about creating some inane fantasies in their heads, and expecting everyone else to buy into that utopia.

I'd say a better "evolution" that's a two-way would be very perfect for most guys. At least, that'll take a lot of societal pressure off our backs, and it'll make the institution more competitive - without leeches. And I'm all for the individualism it will create. When women-folk are ready for that - I shall buy into.

Anyway, what do you think about the picture ol'girl posted on the first page?

-Does that automatically accord the 'authority' to the woman if she is a primary provider? What is obtainable today generally is a woman contributing a lot if not more to the family coffers. Even if the woman is not contributing financially, she pulls her weight domestically. We also cannot compare a business setting to a home setting.

- Not all cultures pay the bride price. I am sure the bride's family also have 'rites' they perform towards the husband's family

- You are right here or better still teach people to keep their hands to themselves.

I agree that for the modern order to work, both parties must be considered and not a one sided thing.

However, look at Slimyem's post...

That is what we have practically in this side of the world I am in (Nigeria).

An average Nigerian man does not want a 'liability' aka housewife yet he wants to be the sole decision maker and leave all the chores to the wife who should still look like Beyonce or Kim.

Just how the scales are tipped to the favour of women in the west, the scales are tipped to the favour of men here in Nigeria.

DollyParton1:

lawd!!!!!
Errrrm you cook food for yourself only. Not for you and your partner and kids. You don't need to do the laundry of like 3 - 5 people. You don't have to bath the kids and get them ready for school while still catering for the husband too. So please, u living alone and doing ur things alone does not equate to living with and doing things for other people. You pay someone to carry out our supposed traditional roles that makes u head of the home and u still call yourself one while your wife is still carrying out her "traditional" roles without help and probably working to earn money in order to support the family.

And good for u. You don't need your wife's money. But some family do, which is like 80% of naija families. If u have not noticed, the economy is not favourable. And we are talking of naija families in general, don't personalise this discussion.
Even if your wife does not work, it doesn't stop u from helping her occasionally.
LAWD!!! I can't believe this ish.

There are poor households where the man earns less than 30k/month and the women bathe the children, cook the meals and straff and still do other woman things and heaven has not fallen.

Please don't make me repeat myself. My wife does not support the house with proceeds from her work. In fact, even if she earned more, I wouldn't require her to support me with.

If a man wants his wife to support he should be ready to get a broom