It is the destiny of women to cook and clean. Please accept your nature and stop trying to ping with nokia 3310

pickabeau1:
^^^ finally someone who lives in the same Western 'paradise' (as some of our ladies here put it) and can say it for what it is

Too many ladies here just assume abroad - everything is dandy

Too much naija men bashing

Don't we have white trash abroad
Don't we have white people on benefits?

Yet sell these girls abroad is utopia and they flock like moths to the flame

I agree with damiso too and slimyem.

The "problem" is very universal.

Hollywood and Disney paint the white man as the "ideal modern man", and we believe it. The true picture of a typical western family is very different.

the white man complains of his wife getting fat after babies. He also uses that as an excuse to cheat.
the white woman too complains of being overwhelmed even with the availability of dishwashers, vaccum cleaners etc.

a typical white male (young or old) still expects females to cook for him while he plays fifa '15.

Like slimyem said, the gender equality thing is going in the wrong direction.

The men are still stuck in their old ways/roles. They dont feel the need to change since its women that want equality anyways. But for gender equality to work in any setting, both parties have to actively change their ways.


I don't see that happening anytime soon.
We can force men to pay child support and outrageous divorce settlements. But can we force them to do dishes and help in the kitchen?

BABE3:


I agree with damiso too and slimyem.

The "problem" is very universal.

Very apt...

Ive always said it here, naija men bashing belies a bigger issue: lack of exposure about other ways of life beyond this shores

but on these boards - only naija men cheat or abandon baby mamas



Excepts from the article I quoted again

"Gender inequalities 'rooted'
Researchers said the survey results meant women would not achieve equal opportunities at work until their menfolk contributed more to looking after the home.
"Gender inequalities in all areas are rooted in social structures but also in attitudes," said Professor Gillian Robinson, of the University of Ulster.
"It is difficult to see how women will ever have the same opportunities in the labour market if equality at home is not achieved."
In the survey, 1,800 men and women were asked about everyday chores, such as the laundry, cleaning, cooking, food shopping, looking after sick relatives and carrying out repairs. But men only made a significant contribution by mending faulty items around the house.
At least two-thirds of women said it was usually them who carried out the other tasks, rising to 85 per cent for doing the laundry."

Hollywood and Disney paint the white man as the "ideal modern man", and we believe it. The true picture of a typical western family is very different. the white man complains of his wife getting fat after babies. He also uses that as an excuse to cheat.
the white woman too complains of being overwhelmed even with the availability of dishwashers, vaccum cleaners etc.

a typical white male (young or old) still expects females to cook for him while he plays fifa '15.

So many of our girls have bought it

The largest consumers of video games products are white males in the 30s

Like slimyem said, the gender equality thing is going in the wrong direction.

The men are still stuck in their old ways/roles. They dont feel the need to change since its women that want equality anyways. But for gender equality to work in any setting, both parties have to actively change their ways.


I don't see that happening anytime soon.

I don't see that happening anytime soon. cheesy
We can force men to pay child support and outrageous divorce settlements. But can we force them to do dishes and help in the kitchen?

Even marriage the tool of 'female domination' will soon die off when men see its not worth it anymore
The potential for bankruptcy outweighs the reward

In this same Nigeria where most homes are led by over-worked, slaving men.
Is it any wonder why we have far more widows than widowers.?
The OP is an irredemable ignoramus.

The whole gender inequality is not only an African thing is a redundant point because feminism was created by the western world.

If they were all championing equality, I doubt there will be a need for a feminist movement.

This is a Nigerian forum, it only makes sense that most topics will be tailored to Nigeria and Africa. The people telling stories here or commenting on stories, are Nigerians sharing their Nigerian experience.

Let's not act like Nigeria is on the same level as the US when it comes to gender inequality issues.

pickabeau1:


As in...
The cooking thing is a big issue
You see cats who don't blink an eyelid getting into bed with their boyfriends but wil growl when you tell them to cook or clean up
Cleaning is more stressful than sex

You find it easier to get n@ked than cook.... choi


Seriously I ask again

every naija man is bad yet our resident femmes just happen to have good fathers, husbands, brothers who are the exception
If everyone's man is the exception, who are the bad naija men

Nna, eh. NL is blessed with the cream of the crop of society. No reported cases of divorces or domestic abuse of well-known users. We're from rock solid lineage and all have impeccable families. . However, I'm sure some of these receive hard reset from time to time from their loving husbands just to keep things in perspective and flame of love burning brighter.

Timbuktou:
my English is fine. It's your orientation that needs a reconfiguration. Apparently, you are neither married nor have kids. Seriously, I really don't want to debate this issue with you any further. When you've got your kids, feel free to let them make all their decisions on their own. Peace.

You are just full of shīť.
Thats the problem with people like you, you think its only when someone gets married and have kids that they can speak on issues like this.
We watch people like you in the society, and we learn from the shït u pull with your family.
Nigga go through ur posts again you sound like a slave master to your wife.

bukatyne:

They abound. I know two of my colleagues who stayed put because their husbands do not want them to leave their current jobs (aka earning higher or near them).

The men are top flyers in their fields too.

Read a story here of a woman whose husband asked her to resign from her job to care for the kids. The last child was mature enough to plead with the mother to keep her home so you understand that caring for the kids was not the real issue.

I think the major clash here is difference in culture...

I see women beaten everyday, you see men set up daily and volia! we cannot relate because we are not looking at the same things.

What the OP portrays is very real around here and it does not depict a weak man, it depicts a overburdened wife.

Those are just isolated case of selfish insecure men who are also control freaks. If you were to do the ratio, it’d probably 1:1000 or more. As a man, as you start having kids – the priority shifts from you to the kids, even if you view ya wife as a mere appendage. Obviously, with that – having a high-flying wife is more of security and back-up plan, should in case life happens to you. Life’s a roller-coaster – with ups and downs. Which means: you might be at the top today, and fall face flat tomorrow. You never know what the future holds regardless of how meticulously you plan for it. So, once you have a high-flying wife as a “security” – you know your children will always get the best regardless of what happens to you – and vice versa. The priority is always most about the children.

Also, the world is so different right now that everyone needs a support system…and you can’t do it all by yourself, especially when kids are involved. The security/back-up plan is a necessity. So, just because a few backward men are like that – it doesn’t mean the overwhelming majority are like that. Most guys with careers go for women on the same level. Personally, I’ll never even get into a serious relationship with any chic that isn’t on my level. And even with that – I’ll always push her, the same way I push myself – to aim for the tops.

Anyway, with the picture – all I can see is an utter weakling. And it’s in bad taste.

Justfollowit:


You cannot proffer a practical solution if you fail to understand where we are coming from. I am not asking you to be a woman I only ask you to try to view it from our perspective.

I mentioned earlier that you grew up in a normal family. Most people were not that lucky especially back home in Nigeria. If for example my female cousins grow up to hate men, I would blame their parents especially their dads

I agree that women are the backbone of the society but that does not mean they do not need help. We also need help just like everyone. You need to understand them first and be willing to help them to achieve their purpose.

I am neither a feminist nor a misogynist but I have realised that over time we are all to be blamed with men taking more of it for failing to adapt to today's society. Men are no longer the sole providers and for the sake of the family, both have to work together to make a home.

You can never proffer proper solutions to an experience you're not acquainted with in real time, nor lived. I don't lead my life trying to be a woman - I deal with rules-of-engagement/standard(s) that govern both men and women in the society. And my role is to always play by those rules/standards - while maintaining mutual respect. The society is also not fair on me as a black man - but I've accepted it as my reality - why can't these black women do the same, rather than the unnecessary narcissistic/antagonistic behavioural patterns?

The only thing I can do is hear their experiences of the females around me (my sisters, mum, and other chics I know). However, they play their roles the right way without complaints cos they understand what's at stake. And that means a lot of these bitter "crying freeman" having fundamental problems, either induced by their opportunistic choices or their backgrounds. You can't blame anyone for that - it's your cross, just learn to carry it lol. Even if I were to look at it from the female perspective – I’d see a people with more opportunities in the society than black men cos the society feels more comfortable around black women than black men. Also, who have more things to their advantage – they just don’t know to exploit them.

There are dysfunctional families everywhere - not just Nigeria. A lot of folks were raised in broken homes out here, and they have moved away from that - and used it in making better choices as they progress in life. No excuse whatsoever.

Anyway, wherever you find a backward society - it's a no-brainer that the women are also backward. Perhaps, Nigerian women need to focus on their backwardness and stop disturbing men who're trying to eke out a living and raise great children. Have you seen the documentary of the industrial revolution in the UK? Go watch that documentary and see British women working in factories with kids on their back – while also working as home-keepers doing all the chores whenever they’re at home. Those are great women right women right – not the lazy naija ones who whinge about mere chores. I believe these women ought to start from there, and help build the darn country, rather than crying everywhere. Isn’t it shocking that almost every Nigerian from her mid-30 and above is over-weight/obese? And Nigerian homes are always stuffy/scruffy with things hanging everywhere due to how lazy and dirty the women are?

Darn!! I vowed to stay away from debates like this one. Anyway, what do you think about the utterly disrespectful/distasteful pic the OP posted, while portraying black men as crippled folks with broken spinal chord, who can’t stand on both feet? That’s some ridiculous joke taken too far, and the reason why I came on the thread.

SirShymexx:
Anyway, what do you think about the picture ol'girl posted on the first page?

What you failed to consider is that the female gender was at a disadvantage for a long time. We still face oppression and are still seen as the inferior gender today.

Your whole post was synonymous to a white man telling a black man not to march for "Black Lives Matter" but instead change the slogan to "White and Black lives matter" or "All lives matter".


What I think of the picture? The picture clearly denotes what is expected of the woman in today's society. She has to be superwoman.
The man wants a career oriented woman who cooks, cleans, irons, takes care of the kids, helps with homework and still have time to be a freak on his bed.

DollyParton1:


You are just full of shīť.
Thats the problem with people like you, you think its only when someone gets married and have kids that they can speak on issues like this.
We watch people like you in the society, and we learn from the shït u pull with your family.
Nigga go through ur posts again you sound like a slave master to your wife.

I don't think there's anything wrong or unfair with the way timbuktou runs his family.... he pays all the bills; she does all the chores; she keeps most of her money to herself.

Super fair! He can claim head-ship.

The problem though is with the economy, most homes need the 2 hands on deck when it comes to providing. In this case, it's only fair they share the chores. But the men in these homes don't want chores at all.

Any woman that puts up with that is a masochist.

Like that woman in OP's picture, the excess baggage must be giving her orgasms.

BABE3, how are you?

Timbuktou:
Nna, eh. NL is blessed with the cream of the crop of society. No reported cases of divorces or domestic abuse of well-known users. We're from rock solid lineage and all have impeccable families. . However, I'm sure some of these receive hard reset from time to time from their loving husbands just to keep things in perspective and flame of love burning brighter.

They have christened such "bondage sex"

Shollypopzz:

What you failed to consider is that the female gender were the ones that were at a disadvantage for a long time. We still face oppression and are still seen as the inferior gender today.

Your whole post was synonymous to a white man telling a black man not to march for "Black Lives Matter" but instead change the slogan to "White and Black lives matter" or "All lives matter".


What I think of the picture? The picture clearly denotes what is expected of the woman in today's society. She has to be superwoman.
The man wants a career oriented woman who cooks, cleans, irons, takes care of the kids, helps with homework and still have time to be a freak on his bed.

Your argument for female gender is also applicable to the black/African race, with black men as the most affected. Look at it from a universal perspective and you'd see that black men are the most affected on the planet. Black women still have it better on the totem pole - reality.

Nah, my post's synonymous with the civil rights movement, where all the disadvantaged folks on the planet marched together, and asked for universal change in scheme of things. We're both in the struggle together!

Being a superwoman is what every black woman should endeavour to be. The mothers. Strong black woman was coined from superwoman virtues - be glad all these things are delegated to you, while the men work their socks off to put food on the table. It's not easy on these streets.

And you who knows better how is the fact that women have the short end of the stick when looking at proportion of chores generally even the working ones

Rather than join the bandwagon of male bashing, why not see the progress which has been made and see how further strides can be obtained
More guys are helping out in the home and the proportion of chores is increasing

I have friends whose wives took time off for a MSC abroad and the house is not collapsing

But NO.. its easier to just call the men useless aside the list of family members

Shollypopzz:
The whole gender inequality is not only an African thing is a redundant point because feminism was created by the western world.

If they were all championing equality, I doubt there will be a need for a feminist movement.

This is a Nigerian forum, it only makes sense that most topics will be tailored to Nigeria and Africa. The people telling stories here or commenting on stories, are Nigerian sharing their Nigerian experience.

Let's not act like Nigeria is on the same level as the US when it comes to gender inequality issues.

pickabeau1:





They have christened such "bondage sex"

A la 50 Shades .

BABE3:


I don't think there's anything wrong or unfair with the way timbuktou runs his family.... he pays all the bills; she does all the chores; she keeps most of her money to herself.

Super fair! He can claim head-ship.

The problem though is with the economy, most homes need the 2 hands on deck when it comes to providing. In this case, it's only fair they share the chores. But the men in these homes don't want chores at all.

Any woman that puts up with that is a masochist.

Like that woman in OP's picture, the excess baggage must be giving her orgasms.

Lol... u believe that ish.... he pays all the bills?
He writes like he doesn't live in the same Nigeria.
Insult men that needs their wives' support.

I don't have tonbe married or have kids before I know what I want and what is right.

BABE3:


I don't think there's anything wrong or unfair with the way timbuktou runs his family.... he pays all the bills; she does all the chores; she keeps most of her money to herself.

Super fair! He can claim head-ship.

The problem though is with the economy, most homes need the 2 hands on deck when it comes to providing. In this case, it's only fair they share the chores. But the men in these homes don't want chores at all.

Any woman that puts up with that is a masochist.

Like that woman in OP's picture, the excess baggage must be giving her orgasms.

Hehehe. Gracias mucho, senor.

Timbuktou:
A la 50 Shades .

The sex is better after some resets...

SirShymexx:


Your argument for female gender is also applicable to the black/African race, with black men as the most affected. Look at it from a universal perspective and you'd see that black men are the most affected on the planet. Black women still have it better on the totem pole - reality.

Nah, my post's synonymous with the civil rights movement, where all the disadvantaged folks on the planet marched together, and asked for universal change in scheme of things. We're both in the struggle together!

Being a superwoman is what every black woman should endeavour to be. The mothers. Strong black woman was coined from superwoman virtues - be glad all these things are delegated to you, while the men work their socks off to put food on the table. It's not easy on these streets.

I am not about to go into the "who suffered more during slavery" argument with you.

One thing I'll say, is that the black man isn't the sole provider anymore. In fact, you all haven't been for a long time now. (If I were speaking as an AA)

If you are doing 100% of the financial provision in your home, then I agree with you that your wife should take up responsibilities like cooking, cleaning and all that.

freecocoa:
BABE3, how are you?

Fine. Hawayou? Hubby and the kids?

BABE3:


Fine. Hawayou? Hubby and the kids?

Good to know.

I'm alright, just kinda exhausted from cooking, cleaning and being an african woman. *yawns*

Hubby and the kids are doing great.

Been meaning to ask your take on feminism, mind sharing?

DollyParton1:


Lol... u believe that ish.... he pays all the bills?
He writes like he doesn't live in the same Nigeria.
Insult men that needs their wives' support.

I don't have tonbe married or have kids before I know what I want and what is right.

He is not rich. He would rather endure a lower standard of living than contribute to household chores.

As long as such "individualistic-killing" mindset isn't passed on to the kids, I am happy. He and and his wife have a right to adhere to gender roles as long as they do not train their children that way.

DollyParton1:


You are just full of shīť.
Thats the problem with people like you, you think its only when someone gets married and have kids that they can speak on issues like this.
We watch people like you in the society, and we learn from the shït u pull with your family.
Nigga go through ur posts again you sound like a slave master to your wife.

You watch what? You're a clown. my family is a model in my neoghbourhood. Other married men envy my balls and sagacity. That's a fact. I am the man. Not you no man having rabid skank. What do you have to offer apart from puscy that I will be so smitten to be sweeping floors for you. You dey mad?

Come back at me when you're married for 6months you bloody reject virgin. You think being a man is moi-moi? Anyway, I don't blame you, you obviously had no examples to draw from. Fvck outta with your shallowness.

And yes, it's a master-slave relationship between my wife and I. I'm her slave to provide and protect, she's my slave to keep our home and our brood and we love the arrangement so. And she's way more than anything your potential can hope to offer.

freecocoa:
Good to know.

I'm alright, just kinda exhausted from cooking, cleaning and being an african woman. *yawns*

Hubby and the kids are doing great.

Been meaning to ask your take on feminism, mind sharing?

I don't even know. all I know is I'm anti-feminism on NL.
In the real world, it's more complicated for me to hate or love it.

pickabeau1:
And you who knows better how is the fact that women have the short end of the stick when looking at proportion of chores generally even the working ones

Rather than join the bandwagon of male bashing, why not see the progress which has been made and see how further strides can be obtained
More guys are helping out in the home and the proportion of chores is increasing

I have friends whose wives took time off for a MSC abroad and the house is not collapsing

But NO.. its easier to just call the men useless aside the list of family members

I do not take part in "male bashing". I take part in society bashing; and that consists of males, females and any other gender.

I concentrate my feminist energy on females, not males.

Shollypopzz:


I do not take part in "male bashing". I take part in society bashing; and that consists of males, females and any other gender.

I concentrate my feminist energy on females, not males.

THEN You are an exception in these boards

BABE3:


I don't even know. all I know is I'm anti-feminism on NL.
In the real world, it's more complicated for me to hate or love it.

Lol

Okay then, what's your issue with the NL version?

pickabeau1:





They have christened such "bondage sex"

So, I've been told. Don't have a willing partner to practise with though. I might just rent some of the mgbekes on here.

damiso:
While the pic depicted might be true in some cases and is some marriages I am of the opinion its not necessarily a Nigerian or African thing.

Women generally tend to do most of the chores, caring, nuturing etc regardless if whether they work outside the home and this is in most parts of the world even so called western societies.

Hardly 3 months goes by without one report or the other in the UK highlighting how women still do the bulk of household chores despite also working and contributing to the household purse. Just yesterday I was reading an article in a paper where it was implied that if men want a better s.ex life they need to help out more with chores . Guess what the writer was a white middle class 'independent'(abi what will a magazine editor be) woman. Go on netmums, mumsnet etc and see threads upon threads of white educated women moaning on how their husbands or partners still expect them to do majority of the chores.Heck there is even a Boots tv advert depicting two obviously ill working white women still doing chores while their husbands did nothing.

I used to also think white men or western men were definitely more open to chores than our own men but living and interacting with people of all cultures has kinda shifted that view.Some of the worst 'traditionalist ' or men who think 'women belong in the kitchen' are white middle class men. Yes they exist in 2015.

Chauvinists, gold diggers, misogynsts, misandryists etc are not the preserve of African or Nigerians.


http://www.mumsnet.com/surveys/chores-the-truth-about-who-does-what

Only if our ladies will take a cue from this.

Shollypopzz:


I do not take part in "male bashing". I take part in society bashing; and that consists of males, females and any other gender.

I concentrate my feminist energy on females, not males.

Timbuktou:
You watch what? You're a clown. my family is a model in my neoghbourhood. Other married men envy my balls and sagacity. That's a fact. I am the man. Not you no man having rabid skank. What do you have to offer apart from puscy that I will be so smitten to be sweeping floors for you. You dey mad?

Come back at me when you're married for 6months you bloody reject virgin. You think being a man is moi-moi? Anyway, I don't blame you, you obviously had no examples to draw from. Fvck outta with your shallowness.

And yes, it's a master-slave relationship between my wife and I. I'm her slave to provide and protect, she's my slave to keep our home and our brood and we love the arrangement so. And she's way more than anything your potential can hope to offer.

Who's then the Master sir?