Domestic violence is never OK. Yet in 29 countries around the world, one-third or more of men say it can be acceptable for a husband to "beat his wife." Perhaps more surprising :In 19 countries, one-third or more of women agree that a husband who beats his wife may be justified, at least some of the time.

The data come from polling performed from 2010 through 2014 for the World Values Survey — an extensive study of attitudes in almost 100 countries, conducted on an ongoing basis since 1981. The study is led by an international network of researchers based in Stockholm.

The findings — and others like them — point at just how culturally acceptable domestic violence remains in many countries, says Rachel Tulchin, a policy adviser on gender issues at the Clinton Foundation. Tulchin recently contributed to a report by the Clinton Foundation and the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, which cited the World Values Survey data.

In some communities, Tulchin notes, it's considered a woman's duty to do all the housekeeping. A wife is expected to ask a husband's permission before leaving the house or simply to never argue back. So in these communities, a man who hits his wife for violating the rules is going to seem normal, she says. "It's a view that's held by the whole community. And that obviously is going to include women and girls themselves."

The cultural acceptance of spousal abuse can be so pervasive that in some countries, large majorities of women say it's acceptable. In Rwanda, 96 percent of women say the practice can be justified, according to the World Values Survey. About two-thirds of women in India and South Africa feel the same way. The attitude is also held by large shares of women in countries across the religious and cultural spectra — China, Egypt, Iraq, Nigeria, Peru, the Philippines and Uzbekistan, to cite a few.


Why Don't Domestic Violence Victims Leave?
Even in countries where the vast majority of women don't approve of spousal abuse, the share that do find it potentially acceptable isn't exactly tiny. It's about 1 in 10 in the U.S. and about 1 in 5 in Germany.

This societal acceptance of spousal abuse helps explain the continued high rates of domestic violence around the world, Tulchin says. More than 1 in 4 women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence at the hand of a husband or intimate partner, the World Health Organization reported in 2013. In sub-Saharan Africa, the share is about 2 in 3, and in North America, it's 1 in 5.


While the link between women's views and the actual incidence of violence isn't well-understood, Tulchin says that believing spousal abuse is acceptable behavior is a clear risk factor. Women who are victimized are going to be less likely to consider it a crime and report it.

Still, she says, the bigger issue is the way a society as a whole views domestic violence. Even if a woman thinks the abuse from her husband is wrong, friends and family around her will be less likely to offer her support if society accepts the abuse as OK. And mothers will be less likely to teach their sons to solve differences with their wives using words instead of their fists. "Social norms and the attitudes that underpin them really are the root cause of violence against women — it plays a huge role," Tulchin says.

On the positive side, there's evidence that women's attitudes are changing dramatically in some places. In Nigeria, 44 percent of women said it was all right for a husband to beat his wife in 2003, but the figure dropped to 21 percent in 2013, according to the World Bank. In Benin, the drop was from 39 percent to 10 percent over a similar period. And in Haiti, the decline was from 11 percent to 3 percent.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/goatsandsoda/2015/03/18/392860281/alarming-number-of-women-think-spousal-abuse-is-sometimes-ok

We have observed that most human beings accept a bad thing/problem as 'normal' when it is prolonged.

Let's join hands to stop it.

It begins with you.

#StopRape!

Eehh...where are they

Who has brainwashed them?

A real man can never make his spouse a punching bag . although, some women are annoying and troublesome.

Two out of three women in subsaharan Africa have witnessed physical abuse from their domestic partners
That is a sad testament yet some people get upset when the subject comes up.
The abusers perhaps
The saddest aspect is that there are women who justify it
I saw it live on a recent thread and this study buttresses the fact that there are indeed women who think it is a ok in some instances for a husband to beat his wife.

babyosisi:
Two out of three women in subsaharan Africa have witnessed physical abuse from their domestic partners
That is a sad testament yet some people get upset when the subject comes up.
The abusers perhaps
The saddest aspect is that there are women who justify it
I saw it live on a recent thread and this study buttresses the fact that there are indeed women who think it is a ok in some instances for a husband to beat his wife.

spanking was legal in the western parts of the world too only few decades ago. these things take time. don't berate african people concerning this matter.

This matter wil never be solved, let's just leave it ok?

This matter wil never be solved, let's just leave it ok?
Infact as ure typing all dis someone is punching a woman.!. After some minutes d woman go stil crawl to d someone and life goes on again

CountDracula:

Infact as ure typing all dis someone is punching a woman.!. After some minutes d woman go stil crawl to d someone and life goes on again

lol

There's absolutely no justification for hitting a woman. However, the major reason why a normal gentleman sometimes 'lose' it and hits her is PROVOCATION on the part of the woman.

A woman should know that what comes out of her mouth sometimes is like venom . Some women can actually kill with their tongues alone.

One of the solutions to this problem is for the woman to know the kind of person her man is; know his elastic limit and if he's the kind that snaps easily, then she better put her tongue in her mouth so the man can put his hands in his pocket

No man has the right to lay his hands on his wife, the same way no woman has the right to tongue-lash her husband.
In marriage, there's suppose to be mutual respect. Not that a party will want to be respected by the other party while constantly disrespecting that other party. We are all human and this issue shouldn't be one sided. No one should put the other person to the wall in marriage and even every other relationship.





#dountootherswhatyouwantthemdountoyou

greatgod2012:
No man has the right to lay his hands on his wife, the same way no woman has the right to tongue-lash her husband.
In marriage, there's suppose to be mutual respect. Not that a party will want to be respected by the other party while constantly disrespecting that other party. We are all human and this issue shouldn't be one sided. No one should put the other person to the wall in marriage and even every other relationship.





#dountootherswhatyouwantthemdountoyou

Comment on the topic
We already know many nigerian men beat their women and say they deserve it,that much is settled
The scary thing is that about a quarter of nigerian women think it is ok to be beaten by their husbands
That is the main issue
Or are you saying a woman who tongue lashes her husband deserves the beating?
Is that your point?

babyosisi:

Comment on the topic
A quarter of nigerian women think it is ok to be beaten by their husbands
That is the main issue
Or are you saying a woman who tongue lashes her husband deserves the beating?
Is that your point?

are you saying a nigerian woman who tongue-lashes hubby doesn't deserve the beating - considering the fact that she was bought off the shelf like a piece of yam?

nigerian women cannot compare themselves to western women until they stand up & abolish the bride price they usually take from their grooms. until that order is reversed, she deserves the thrashing!

greatgod2012:
No man has the right to lay his hands on his wife, the same way no woman has the right to tongue-lash her husband.
In marriage, there's suppose to be mutual respect. Not that a party will want to be respected by the other party while constantly disrespecting that other party. We are all human and this issue shouldn't be one sided. No one should put the other person to the wall in marriage and even every other relationship.





#dountootherswhatyouwantthemdountoyou

Abi o waiting for when they would carry out a research as regards the number of women who verbally abuse thier partners.

I know it would be 98% because most of the "champions of women's right" always say when someone abuses you. You should walk away or say your own back. Blaming and telling the abused not to react without cautioning the abuser. To them it's not a crime and is normal. It is always "Women were created with bad mouth and should be excused"


if so. Men are also created with bad fists and we should excuse such when it happens. It's the nature of the man. Isn't that right?

[size=18pt]Around the world[/size]


Overall, 92 percent of women in Afghanistan feel that a husband is justified in hitting or beating his wife for at least one of these reasons: going out without telling the husband, neglecting the children, arguing with the husband, refusing sex, and burning the food. Seventy-eight percent of women believe that going out without telling the husband is justification for beating, while 31 percent think the same about burning the food.

This same list of reasons has been used by the Demographic and Health Surveys in dozens of countries worldwide to measure attitudes toward domestic violence. The Afghanistan survey added an additional question to reflect local attitudes—wearing inappropriate clothes. Sixty-three percent of Afghan women feel a husband is justified in hitting or beating his wife if she wears inappropriate clothing.

Women's acceptance of wife beating in Afghanistan is much higher than in other countries in the region: 54 percent in India; 36 percent in Bangladesh; and 23 percent in Nepal. Women's level of education clearly has an effect on attitudes toward domestic violence (see table). In India, 62 percent of women with no education accept domestic violence compared with 31 percent of those with secondary education or higher. In Afghanistan, 82 percent of all women have no education.

http://www.prb.org/Publications/Articles/2012/afghanistan-domestic-violence.aspx

From the above let me then assume that most of the women that condone abuse in Nigeria are uneducated
Solution then is to get the women educated and stop child marriage
It would have been interesting to know the demographics of their survey

coogar:


are you saying a nigerian woman who tongue-lashes hubby doesn't deserve the beating - considering the fact that she was bought off the shelf like a piece of yam?

nigerian women cannot compare themselves to western women until they stand up & abolish the bride price they usually take from their grooms. until that order is reversed, she deserves the thrashing!

You for one tongue lashes women on nairaland so I doubt if you won't be a tongue lasher and also use your hands
[size=18pt]Men who abuse their wives physically are also talkative nagging men[/size]
Both attitudes go hand in hand
[size=18pt]They only use their hands because they can't stand someone else disagreeing with them or disobeying their command[/size]
Truth be told

So tongue lashing equals beating eh?
What happens to ur own mouth?
Some men have deadly mouth too.
Eg,coogar .

Assuming the man and the woman has the same energy and strength all good.

That's why man fighting a man is never an issue.

Alas,some men can use mouth and punch too.

Still,all form of domestic abuse is a no no.

moca:
So tongue lashing equals beating eh?
What happens to ur own mouth?
Some men have deadly mouth too.
Eg,coogar .

Assuming the man and the woman has the same energy and strength all good.

That's why man fighting a man is never an issue.

Alas,some men can use mouth and punch too.

Still,all form of domestic abuse is a no no.

Women are indeed their own worst enemies
Look at all the men here that justify beating
Aren't they the first to start raining abuses on people especially women for disagreeing with their point of view?
I don't know why anyone is passing them off as some cool and quiet men that wouldn't utter a word

babyosisi:


You for one tongue lashes women on nairaland so I doubt if you won't be a tongue lasher and also use your hands
[size=18pt]Men who abuse their wives physically are also talkative nagging men[/size]
Both attitudes go hand in hand

Take five!
Coogar has initiated dozens of boys here into the cult of tongue lashing.
At times if I want to learn new curse word or sentence,i will click coogar and he never disappoints.
Though,i don't read meaning into his tongue lashing cos he will quarrel with u now and make up d next minute.
Hope the ladies don't take it to heart too.
Ituku people are good people.

moca:

Take five!
Coogar has initiated dozens of boys here into the cult of tongue lashing.
At times if I want to learn new curse word or sentence,i will click coogar and he never disappoints.
Though,i don't read meaning into his tongue lashing cos he will quarrel with u now and make up d next minute.
Hope the ladies don't take it to heart too.
Ituku people are good people.

Yes
I don't think its possible to be a wife beater without being a verbal abuser
Like that stoopid Igbo boy following me from thread to thread
The one that fought over 12 women on one thread in one night while justifying physical abuse
Many of the culprits here are very easy to identify

babyosisi:


Women are indeed their own worst enemies
Look at all the men here that justify beating
Aren't they the first to start raining abuses on people especially women for disagreeing with their point of view?
I don't know why anyone is passing them off as some cool and quiet men that wouldn't utter a word

There r exceptions eg,i know somme men that hardly talks(tdont know how to express themselves),and very quick tempered.
Any small thing,twaa!

If he happens to marry a woman that doesn't compliment him, that means wahala.
That's why it's good to study the man, see if the two of u have complimentary temperament before walking down d aisle.

This is very important.

It's an unfortunate cycle, the Dad beats the Mum regularly. The kids see her stay and claim she is happy in her marriage so the girls think beating is part of a good marriage and the boys think it's an acceptable way to "correct" their wives. On the front page someone confronted his Dad for slapping his Mum who is above 60 by the way showing that abusers rarely ever stop, yet most of the comments there are blaming him. Saying thinks like after all the Dad had probably been slapping the Mum since and they were still "happily" married so he should mind his business and watch his Mum get slapped around

babyosisi:

You for one tongue lashes women on nairaland so I doubt if you won't be a tongue lasher and also use your hands
[size=18pt]Men who abuse their wives physically are also talkative nagging men[/size]
Both attitudes go hand in hand
[size=18pt]They only use their hands because they can't stand someone else disagreeing with them or disobeying their command[/size]
Truth be told

i don't need my hands to put women in their rightful place. however, not all men are into talking or dragging insults with women.

verbal abuse isn't any less serious than physical abuse. if a woman verbally abuses her hubby to the point of provoking him to slap her then his action is fully justified....

moca:
So tongue lashing equals beating eh?
What happens to ur own mouth?
Some men have deadly mouth too.
Eg,coogar .

Assuming the man and the woman has the same energy and strength all good.

That's why man fighting a man is never an issue.

Alas,some men can use mouth and punch too.

Still,all form of domestic abuse is a no no.

Can you see how confused your post looks like.

First, you highlighted the bolded. I.e a woman abuses you, you abuse her back. You even went on to assert that verbal abuse is the woman's turf but said there were just "some" men who are more verbally abusive.

And lastly went to say no all forms of abuse is a no no but it was the same you that asserted that if someone abuses you , you should say yours back. Which boils down to the same thing most have been saying.

Ladies believe verbal abuses is no abuse and it's natural for a woman to have a caustic tongue. AINT IT?

You should learn that for every action there's an equal and relative reaction. If you know how to abuse well, you should be ready for the consequences.

Men have always been out to condemn physical abuse but just like 2% of ladies condemn verbal abuse.

johnny1980:


Can you see how confused your post looks like.

First, you highlighted the bolded. I.e a woman abuses you, you abuse her back. You even went on to assert that verbal abuse is the woman's turf but said there were just "some" men who are more verbally abusive.

And lastly went to say no all forms of abuse is a no no but it was the same you that asserted that if someone abuses you , you should say yours back. Which boils down to the same thing most have been saying.

Ladies believe verbal abuses is no abuse and it's natural for a woman to have a caustic tongue. AINT IT?

ladies generally can't handle responsibility.
when they verbally abuse, it's natural. when they physically abuse, it's a hormonal issue. there's always something to blame when a lady is caught behaving rabidly.

babyosisi:


Comment on the topic
We already know many nigerian men beat their women and say they deserve it,that much is settled
The scary thing is that about a quarter of nigerian women think it is ok to be beaten by their husbands
That is the main issue
Or are you saying a woman who tongue lashes her husband deserves the beating?
Is that your point?

And to think that men also tongue lash their wives these days.
Men beginning to rant more than women, yet take offence when women beat them in the mouth game. so much for a lawless country

johnny1980:


Can you see how confused your post looks like.

First, you highlighted the bolded. I.e a woman abuses you, you abuse her back. You even went on to assert that verbal abuse is the woman's turf but said there were just "some" men who are more verbally abusive.

And lastly went to say no all forms of abuse is a no no but it was the same you that asserted that if someone abuses you , you should say yours back. Which boils down to the same thing most have been saying.

Ladies believe verbal abuses is no abuse and it's natural for a woman to have a caustic tongue. AINT IT?

My dear, if ur wife call u opunu(whatever it mean)call her and her generation opuno times two. Tomorrow she will think twice b4 she open her mouth again to abuse u.
It's that some think it's unmanly to match a woman with bad mouth,mouth for mouth.

It's still better than beating.
Besides, some women have complained here how their husbands abuse them emotionally.
My answer is always go and learn how to abuse and give it to him back if he don't want to reason with u.
Voila.

But beating?
My hand no dey.
I've even seen a woman that plumelled the husband. Still a no no.

johnny1980:

Abi o waiting for when they would carry out a research as regards the number of women who verbally abuse thier partners.

I know it would be 98% because most of the "champions of women's right" always say when someone abuses you. You should walk away or say your own back. Blaming and telling the abused not to react without cautioning the abuser. To them it's not a crime and is normal. It is always "Women were created with bad mouth and should be excused"


if so. Men are also created with bad fists and we should excuse such when it happens. It's the nature of the man. Isn't that right?

Before now, I would have agreed with you but now men run their mouth too just like women
They also say hurtful words to their wives and still expect them to take it

moca:

My dear, if ur wife call u opunu(whatever it mean)call her and her generation opuno times two. Tomorrow she will think twice b4 she open her mouth again to abuse u.
It's that some think it's unmanly to match a woman with bad mouth,mouth for mouth.

It's still better than beating.
Besides, some women have complained here how their husbands abuse them emotionally.
My answer is always go and learn how to abuse and give it to him back if he don't want to reason with u.
Voila.

But beating?
My hand no dey.
I've even seen a woman that plumelled the husband. Still a no no.

when he calls her oponu X2, who do you think is more likely to go physical between the two? it's the woman. she gets hurt & locks the man's shirt.

"you must kill me today, you must beat me today". why are you pretending you dunno women are the primary aggressors of domestic violence 70% of the time?

coogar:


ladies generally can't handle responsibility.
when they verbally abuse, it's natural. when they physically abuse, it's a hormonal issue. there's always something to blame when a lady is caught behaving rabidly.

Are you saying men are not verbally abusive too? Especially on nl

Rose2014:

Are you saying men are not verbally abusive too? Especially on nl

verbally abusive only after they have been abused. no man goes about the forum looking for a woman to abuse. it's always in retaliation.