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60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love - Romance - Nairaland

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60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by youngsahito(m): 1:59pm On Mar 21, 2015
Do you want to kill him?
You are not alone. Many marriages break
down these days because our generation
of women has become weak. They no
longer kill their man. They allow the men
to run wild and cheat anyhow.
Dead men dont cheat and they wont hit
you so he is better off dead and gone.
If you want to kill your husband. First of
all, You must become a Ninja, you must
first learn the ropes and master the use
of weapons. Nobody becomes a Pro
without tutelage. A Ninja must learn to
sacrifice her happiness for the other. She
must be ruthless in executing the
commands. she must be swift and
deadly.
If you want to be a killer Ninja, Then you
must observe the following code of
conduct
1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the
tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t
want a man for his wife! A perfect wife is
one who doesn’t expect a perfect
husband. How we handle our husband’s
shortcomings reveals more about our
own character than our husbands
2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you
are a home-maker, don’t stay in your
sleeping suit all day. Go to the market,
buy push ups and G-strings.
3. Smell good!
4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your
husband as soon as he walks in. Give him
a little mental break or You will
unconsciously send him to a beer
parlour.
5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you
thinking?”
6. Stop nagging .
7. Absolutely no talking about your
spousal problems to anyone you meet,
not even under the pretense of seeking
help! If you think you want to solve
legitimate marital issues, Do it yourself
and dont run to a third party unless its a
life threatening issue. Mediate any
injustice done, Talk it over after he calms
down. Allow him whenever he is angry.
dont talk back so any wrong can be
corrected and the couple can reunite in
harmony.
8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the
same way you would like your husband to
be kind to your own mother.
9. Learn all the rights and obligations of
each other. Focus on fulfilling your
obligations, not demanding your rights.
10. Race to the door when he comes
home, as if you were waiting for him.
Smile and hug him.
11. Keep your house clean, at least to
the level that he wants it.
12. Compliment him on the things you
know he’s not so confident about (looks,
intelligence, etc.) This will build his self-
esteem.
13. Always tell him he’s the best husband
ever.
14. Call his family often.
15. Give him a simple task to do at home
and then thank him when he does it. This
will encourage him to do more.
16. When he’s talking about something
boring, listen and nod your head. Even
ask questions to make it seem like you’re
interested.
17. Encourage him to do charity.
18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some
space. He’ll get over it.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you
with food and shelter. It’s a big deal.
20. If he’s angry with you and starts
yelling, let him yell it out while you’re
quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot
faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell
him your side of the story and how you
want him to change something.
21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say
“YOU make me furious”, rather, “This
action makes me upset”. Direct your
anger to the action and circumstance
rather than at him.
22. Remember that your husband has
feelings, so take them into consideration.
23. Let him chill with his friends without
guilt, especially if they’re good guys.
Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t
feel “cooped up” at home.
24. If your husband is annoyed over a
little thing you do (and you can control it)
, then stop doing it. Really.
25. Learn how to tell him what you
expect without him having to guess all
the time. Learn to communicate your
feelings.
26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s
not worth it.
27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally
funny, go on the internet and read some
jokes, and then tell them to him.
28. Tell him you’re the best wife ever and
compliment yourself on certain things
you know you’re good at.
29. Learn to make his favorite dish. If he
like suya, learn to make suya, if na
peper soup and agidi, learn and make it
at home, isi ewu etc
30. Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him
with friends or family unnecessarily. If
they end up agreeing with you, you will
see that it hits you back in the face
because you get more depressed that
you have a bad husband–and other
people also think you have a bad
husband.
31. Use your time wisely and get things
accomplished. If you’re a home-maker,
take online classes and get active in
your community. This will make you
happy and a secondary bonus is that it
impresses your husband.
32. Love him and cherish him.
33. Husband and wife should discuss
and communicate with wisdom with
each other to convey what they like and
dislike of each other to do or not to do.
Do NOT give commands or instructions
like he’s your servant. “They are
garment to each other”
34. Tell your husband you love him,
many, many times. .
35. Have a race or play a game with
your husband and let him win, even if
you are much fitter and stronger than
him.
36. Keep fit and take care of your health
so you will remain a strong mother,
wife, cook and housekeeper, you will not
get FAT and frumpy.
37. Refine and cultivate good
mannerisms i.e do not whine, don’t
laugh or talk too loud or walk like an
elephant.
38. Do not leave the house without his
permission and certainly not without his
knowledge.
39. Make sure all his clothes are clean
and pressed so he is always looking
fresh and crisp.
40. Don’t discuss important/
controversial matters with him when he
is tired or sleepy. Find right time for
right discussion.
41. The way to a man’s heart is through
his stomach. lol
42. Always let him know that you
appreciate him working and bringing
home the “dough”. It makes it easier for
him to go to work.
43. Make sure you ALWAYS have
something for dinner.
44. Brush your hair, everyday and your
teeth too.
45. Don’t forget to do laundry.
46. Surprise him with gifts. Even
necessities, such as new shoes, can be
gifts.
47. Listen to him. (Even when he talks
about extremely boring things like
basketball or computers.)
48. Try (hard as it might be) to take
interest in his hobbies. support his
football team.
49. Try not to go shopping too much …
and spend all his money.
50. Look attractive and be seductive
towards him. Flirt with him. INITIATE SEX
51. Learn tricks and “techniques” to
please your husband in intimacy. Suck
his penis always and swallow if need be
or someone else will do it for you out
side. Always bury his penis inside of you
at least twice a day and he will be to
tired and buried to cheat.Never refuse
him any sex position he wants. (Of
course goes both ways.)
52. Prepare for special evenings with
him with special dinner and exclusive
time (no children permitted).
53. Take care of your skin, especially
your face. The face is center of
attraction.
54. If you not satisfied intimately, talk to
him and tell him. Help him or provide
resources, don’t wait until matters
become worse.
55. Ask God to strengthen and preserve
the bonds of compassion and love
between the two of you, every day,
every prayer. Ask him to protect that
bond .
56. Don’t EVER compare your husbands
to other husbands! For example don’t
say, “well her husband doesn’t do that,
why do you …” (that’s a killer!)
57. Be happy with what you have
because no one is perfect.
58. Strive for Gods love first and
foremost! if all wives try to seek Gods
love and pleasure, surely, they can keep
their husbands love too. And remember–
if God loves you, the angels will love
you, and the entire creation will love
you.
59. If you pack a lunch for your husband
to take to work, from time to time sneak
in a little love note or sweet poem. If he
doesn’t take a lunch, leave the note
somewhere else for him to find, like in
his briefcase, or wallet or on the car
steering-wheel.
60. Men are big babies, make them feel
loved. Mother them and make sure you
breast feed him once in a while.
Despite the challenges and difficulties in
doing all this. If you manage to
accomplish at least half. then just sit
back and watch your man become your
Maga.
Kill him with love
Bury him inside your Vagina
and he will become addicted to dying for
you.

2 Likes

Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by Hazardd(m): 2:02pm On Mar 21, 2015
too long...
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by iceberylin(m): 2:03pm On Mar 21, 2015
Cook good meal
Give birth to cute children.
Dont smell like onions
Have a big ass
BE independent wink
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by alberto2k(m): 2:12pm On Mar 21, 2015
I swear by Nucky thomson, I didn't read that embarassed
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by Enegod(m): 2:25pm On Mar 21, 2015
101 reasons not to read this shit...I fell asleep on number 12 undecided
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by LewisO: 2:33pm On Mar 21, 2015
Reading... undecided
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by XtraSmooth404: 2:39pm On Mar 21, 2015
I tried reading all...


I couldn't help but give up at #21.
Great points, no doubt.
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by cutieberie1(f): 2:40pm On Mar 21, 2015
noted
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by XtraSmooth404: 2:41pm On Mar 21, 2015
cutieberie1:
noted
hi.. you married? undecided
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by cutieberie1(f): 2:59pm On Mar 21, 2015
XtraSmooth404:

hi.. you married? undecided

lol....nope
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by youngsahito(m): 3:47pm On Mar 21, 2015
cutieberie1:


lol....nope
then let me be ur MR RIGHT...
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by cutieberie1(f): 4:45pm On Mar 21, 2015
youngsahito:
then let me be ur MR RIGHT...

lol am not single....
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by apholaryn: 5:16pm On Mar 21, 2015
60 ways to get bored...It works perfectly.
mehn I got bored halfway.
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by youngsahito(m): 8:04pm On Mar 21, 2015
cutieberie1:


lol am not single....
dats nt a prob...but I wnt u to be my frnd then
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by cutieberie1(f): 8:29pm On Mar 21, 2015
youngsahito:
dats nt a prob...but I wnt u to be my frnd then

alright then..
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by MrDojo(m): 8:34pm On Mar 21, 2015
It startrd with 10 dis and 10 dat......now we ave 24 dis and dat...... dis one now has taken it to 60 tinz and dat........

Dis is w@ d chisos of otuke has caused


# abeg no offence to pdp oooh
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by youngsahito(m): 10:29pm On Mar 21, 2015
cutieberie1:


alright then..
tnx 4 dat so u cn beep me on whatsapp wif 07068390578...I will patiently be xpectn ur nice msg.take kia
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by youngsahito(m): 10:42pm On Mar 21, 2015
cutieberie1:


alright then..
tnx very much n u cn beep me on whatsapp wif my no:07068390578...I will be expectn ur msg.take kia
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by Houseofglam7(f): 10:47pm On Mar 21, 2015
For the married women I guess...... Because as a single lady, before you get to number 4, Menopause and all its allies would've arrived.











So damn long
Re: 60 Ways To Kill Your Husband With Love by tayoxx(m): 10:57pm On Mar 21, 2015
issorite....10 reasons no do una again for this nairaland....una don increase am to 60....is ok kontinu....very so una go dey see 500 reason or 500 ways

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