Herzumpther:
Don't worry he will. Dad has said yes and now I'm scared.

pishon:
Good morning everyone, have been folloing this thread for a while now but I wanted to finish reading all the pages before I acknowledge the op and everyone that has contributed so far cause have learnt a lot here but I have a pressing issue to attend to now pls I really need your candid advice on this issue. My fiance stays in his parent house but he is dohouse project but I feel he should rent an apartment now since we a planning to get married before the end of the year, he is a low income earner but he has an access to some cash recently and fortunately we are able to get a room and a parlour self contained yesterday for 70k we were about going to see d lanlord for payement when he said I should let him inform his mum first before he pay which I said ok. He called me this morning that his mum said he y can't he wait and finish his house first and move there from there house, the problem I have with her idear is that the money e have is not enough to finish the house and also do the wedding besides my fiance does not have any house appliances he will have to furnish the house as well I don't know what to tell him now and I don't want to be in between mother and son. I will be 31 soon and he is already 34years

pishon:
Good morning everyone, have been folloing this thread for a while now but I wanted to finish reading all the pages before I acknowledge the op and everyone that has contributed so far cause have learnt a lot here but I have a pressing issue to attend to now pls I really need your candid advice on this issue. My fiance stays in his parent house but he is dohouse project but I feel he should rent an apartment now since we a planning to get married before the end of the year, he is a low income earner but he has an access to some cash recently and fortunately we are able to get a room and a parlour self contained yesterday for 70k we were about going to see d lanlord for payement when he said I should let him inform his mum first before he pay which I said ok. He called me this morning that his mum said he y can't he wait and finish his house first and move there from there house, the problem I have with her idear is that the money e have is not enough to finish the house and also do the wedding besides my fiance does not have any house appliances he will have to furnish the house as well I don't know what to tell him now and I don't want to be in between mother and son. I will be 31 soon and he is already 34years

Herzumpther:
Finallllllllllly. Thank you so much you all. Dad has finally given me the go ahead to follow the choice of my heart. Its was a tough time but then you all stood by me with encouraging words and advises. It can only get better from here on. I am so happy. Thank you all. I am so greatful to you all.

For those still on the battle field, don't give up very soon cause victory is near.

babyosisi:


Please remind me
Are you engaged to a Yoruba man and your parents said no?

pishon:
Good morning everyone, have been folloing this thread for a while now but I wanted to finish reading all the pages before I acknowledge the op and everyone that has contributed so far cause have learnt a lot here but I have a pressing issue to attend to now pls I really need your candid advice on this issue. My fiance stays in his parent house but he is dohouse project but I feel he should rent an apartment now since we a planning to get married before the end of the year, he is a low income earner but he has an access to some cash recently and fortunately we are able to get a room and a parlour self contained yesterday for 70k we were about going to see d lanlord for payement when he said I should let him inform his mum first before he pay which I said ok. He called me this morning that his mum said he y can't he wait and finish his house first and move there from there house, the problem I have with her idear is that the money e have is not enough to finish the house and also do the wedding besides my fiance does not have any house appliances he will have to furnish the house as well I don't know what to tell him now and I don't want to be in between mother and son. I will be 31 soon and he is already 34years

pishon:
Good morning everyone, have been folloing this thread for a while now but I wanted to finish reading all the pages before I acknowledge the op and everyone that has contributed so far cause have learnt a lot here but I have a pressing issue to attend to now pls I really need your candid advice on this issue. My fiance stays in his parent house but he is dohouse project but I feel he should rent an apartment now since we a planning to get married before the end of the year, he is a low income earner but he has an access to some cash recently and fortunately we are able to get a room and a parlour self contained yesterday for 70k we were about going to see d lanlord for payement when he said I should let him inform his mum first before he pay which I said ok. He called me this morning that his mum said he y can't he wait and finish his house first and move there from there house, the problem I have with her idear is that the money e have is not enough to finish the house and also do the wedding besides my fiance does not have any house appliances he will have to furnish the house as well I don't know what to tell him now and I don't want to be in between mother and son. I will be 31 soon and he is already 34years

pishon:
Good morning everyone, have been folloing this thread for a while now but I wanted to finish reading all the pages before I acknowledge the op and everyone that has contributed so far cause have learnt a lot here but I have a pressing issue to attend to now pls I really need your candid advice on this issue. My fiance stays in his parent house but he is dohouse project but I feel he should rent an apartment now since we a planning to get married before the end of the year, he is a low income earner but he has an access to some cash recently and fortunately we are able to get a room and a parlour self contained yesterday for 70k we were about going to see d lanlord for payement when he said I should let him inform his mum first before he pay which I said ok. He called me this morning that his mum said he y can't he wait and finish his house first and move there from there house, the problem I have with her idear is that the money e have is not enough to finish the house and also do the wedding besides my fiance does not have any house appliances he will have to furnish the house as well I don't know what to tell him now and I don't want to be in between mother and son. I will be 31 soon and he is already 34years

pishon:
Thanks for all the replys, I asked him now what was his reply to his mum he said he didn't say anything but I think he has made up his mind to get d house I just hope the mum won't be thinking I'm the. One behind his decision cause its too early to be having issues with MIL.

pishon:
Good morning everyone, have been folloing this thread for a while now but I wanted to finish reading all the pages before I acknowledge the op and everyone that has contributed so far cause have learnt a lot here but I have a pressing issue to attend to now pls I really need your candid advice on this issue. My fiance stays in his parent house but he is dohouse project but I feel he should rent an apartment now since we a planning to get married before the end of the year, he is a low income earner but he has an access to some cash recently and fortunately we are able to get a room and a parlour self contained yesterday for 70k we were about going to see d lanlord for payement when he said I should let him inform his mum first before he pay which I said ok. He called me this morning that his mum said he y can't he wait and finish his house first and move there from there house, the problem I have with her idear is that the money e have is not enough to finish the house and also do the wedding besides my fiance does not have any house appliances he will have to furnish the house as well I don't know what to tell him now and I don't want to be in between mother and son. I will be 31 soon and he is already 34years

EfemenaXY:


Your fiancee as you say, is a low income earner - so it makes perfect sense that he lives with his parents to save up and cut back on unnecessary expenditure as much as he possible can. He's also got quite a lot of projects going on which needs a lot of financial input too.

~ He's building a house for you both. Your future home, and that is no small feat.

~ He hasn't got any household appliances / furnishings for the house when completed and that too requires money.

~ You want to get married (Court, church, and traditional wedding) I presume and that too will cost money

The way I see it, the poor man is overloaded with financial costs and rather than support him, you at the ripe old age of 31 begrudge him for not spending his meagre resources on a privately rented apartment for you both. Little wonder he turned to his mother for advice and she didn't fail him.

Look, I understand your need for privacy, but privacy doesn't come cheap. You're working aren't you? So which of these projects have/are you assisting him with? Why does he have to bear the whole load on his shoulders? You act like money grows on trees and you even had the guts to mention unashamedly that he came into some money but rather than spend it on your "want", he's decided to hold back having discussed with his mum.

If you really, really, do want your privacy, then you bring forth the 70K to pay for that apartment. Let the poor man concentrate on completing his building. Your future family home. I also think that as a mature, working woman, you should start looking to furnishing your home with the appliances you say you lack.

Even in the wild, the male builds the house while the female decorates it to her taste. You aren't a naive twenty something year old fresh out of Uni, but a mature woman. So please act your age and support your man. As he focuses on completing the house and footing the wedding bills, you dip your hands into your pocket and assist him with something substantial.

To say your post annoys me is an understatement.

urchbarbie:
Hey! Easy on d sis ma! I can't deduce her not wanting to assist from her writeup.

urchbarbie:
Nto forgetting she knws d man better dan we do. In d other thread whr a woman complained she invested so much in her man n marriage only for her husby to use his bros as his next of kin.

urchbarbie:
Did lady's man too sounds like a mums boy n she needs to be careful to avoid stories dat touch. Am not against a woman supporting her future husband, but she needs to weigh her otpions too. Pls don't sound so harsh on d lady once again.

ichidodo:
C'mon..I also have something to lose as per 11 years down the drain...is it not my 11 years too? And remember we've had prolonged intervals of separations so it isn't a continous 11 year relationship therefore she must have had her fair share of side affairs. Look, i just don't want to make any situation worse than it needs to be.Besides, i'm just putting down a game plan, a road map to something beautiful for the team here.All we need is a bit of faith,dedication and comittment to each other but if she's all about herself,her age,her time and not 'we' then she's not worth the trouble how much less the marriage.Let mi ask, what is wrong if a lady gets to 30?,I mean what if she leaves mi and maybe due to relationship misfortunes gets to 30,what next?...heavens won't fall,i know it won't

EfemenaXY:


Well I did. Read her post again. I certainly didn't see any mention of her offering to help out financially. Isn't she working? What's she using her money for?



Of course she obviously knows the man better than we do but what's the essence of you pointing that out? As per the other story you mention, I haven't read that. Nonetheless, I take each story on a case-by-case basis and tailor my response to it accordingly, and not based on some other story.



His mother gave him the best advice possible. The mother is a realist and obviously and advocate of cut your coat according to your size. Even though I'm not his mum, I too would go for her advice. Not, she advised him, and not forced him. That aside, he's a struggling young man trying to do the right thing. Would you rather he spent that 70K on a privately rented accommodation that comes with it's own additional and separate utility bills? Or spend that money towards completing his home.

They have a long, hard road ahead of them and it's frustrating that she can't see this. I won't be in the least surprised that she'd want a fairy tale white wedding and trado with all the works, without having considered how they'll eat after the ceremonies and the guests having eaten their fill, returned to their respective homes.

A little foresight and planning ahead never does anyone any harm. She is 31 for God's sake. Not 21.

urchbarbie:
Tnx for taking time to explain ur position. She may not av said how much she is investing, but considering dis story, she would definitely contribute. #myjudgementtho. And for the mums advice being d best in ur opinion, I don't subscibe to it. This wld give u room for MIL and DIL "fights"
I'm still of d opinion dat if they can even afford a single room, d better for them. How wld u want to start up ur marital life in such a setting? For me, its a no no!

veave:



Mba. Am not even engaged to anybody yet.

Herzumpther:
Finallllllllllly. Thank you so much you all. Dad has finally given me the go ahead to follow the choice of my heart. Its was a tough time but then you all stood by me with encouraging words and advises. It can only get better from here on. I am so happy. Thank you all. I am so greatful to you all.

For those still on the battle field, don't give up very soon cause victory is near.

pishon:
Thanks for all the replys, I asked him now what was his reply to his mum he said he didn't say anything but I think he has made up his mind to get d house I just hope the mum won't be thinking I'm the. One behind his decision cause its too early to be having issues with MIL.

Herzumpther:
Finallllllllllly. Thank you so much you all. Dad has finally given me the go ahead to follow the choice of my heart. Its was a tough time but then you all stood by me with encouraging words and advises. It can only get better from here on. I am so happy. Thank you all. I am so greatful to you all.

For those still on the battle field, don't give up very soon cause victory is near.

pishon:
Good morning everyone, have been folloing this thread for a while now but I wanted to finish reading all the pages before I acknowledge the op and everyone that has contributed so far cause have learnt a lot here but I have a pressing issue to attend to now pls I really need your candid advice on this issue. My fiance stays in his parent house but he is dohouse project but I feel he should rent an apartment now since we a planning to get married before the end of the year, he is a low income earner but he has an access to some cash recently and fortunately we are able to get a room and a parlour self contained yesterday for 70k we were about going to see d lanlord for payement when he said I should let him inform his mum first before he pay which I said ok. He called me this morning that his mum said he y can't he wait and finish his house first and move there from there house, the problem I have with her idear is that the money e have is not enough to finish the house and also do the wedding besides my fiance does not have any house appliances he will have to furnish the house as well I don't know what to tell him now and I don't want to be in between mother and son. I will be 31 soon and he is already 34years

Regenerated:
Please I have a question! Is it advisable for newly wedded couples to delay having issues? i mean childbearing? for like 6 months or a year?
And please how can one go about that?

pishon:
Good morning everyone, have been folloing this thread for a while now but I wanted to finish reading all the pages before I acknowledge the op and everyone that has contributed so far cause have learnt a lot here but I have a pressing issue to attend to now pls I really need your candid advice on this issue. My fiance stays in his parent house but he is dohouse project but I feel he should rent an apartment now since we a planning to get married before the end of the year, he is a low income earner but he has an access to some cash recently and fortunately we are able to get a room and a parlour self contained yesterday for 70k we were about going to see d lanlord for payement when he said I should let him inform his mum first before he pay which I said ok. He called me this morning that his mum said he y can't he wait and finish his house first and move there from there house, the problem I have with her idear is that the money e have is not enough to finish the house and also do the wedding besides my fiance does not have any house appliances he will have to furnish the house as well I don't know what to tell him now and I don't want to be in between mother and son. I will be 31 soon and he is already 34years

kputus:


11 years is a long time to know if this woman is what you want. What causes the off and on thing in these 11years? Are the off-times more than the on-time? Aside the career driven attribute, what other attributes do you expect from your partner and does she possess them? Marriage entails a lot

pishon:
Thanks for all the replys, I asked him now what was his reply to his mum he said he didn't say anything but I think he has made up his mind to get d house I just hope the mum won't be thinking I'm the. One behind his decision cause its too early to be having issues with MIL.

babyosisi:


Great
Its the 70k house 70k a year's rent?

pishon:

The. 70k is for a year's rent.