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When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by octopusfreaky(f): 4:30pm On Mar 25, 2015
MizMyColi:
cheesy

I refuse the ministry of a side chickgrin

When someone wants to be with you, nothing can keep them away! When they don’t, nothing can make them stay! Don’t waste your life being tolerated and not celebrated! - Paula White
SECONDED

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by akinsadeez(m): 4:31pm On Mar 25, 2015
Justfollowit:


I pity the woman that is going to end up with you


I wasn't expecting anything different from a dumb person who can neither reason nor argue intellectually. They always resort to insults grin grin grin grin

8 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by akinsadeez(m): 4:32pm On Mar 25, 2015
MizMyColi:


Go give this sermon to some un-emancipated, dull, unrepentantly dumb, I-do-not-know-what-I-want-from-life chicsmiley


as your lordship pleases cheesy grin

2 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by 989900: 4:36pm On Mar 25, 2015
kennygee:
Seriously.

I don't even know why ladies will even be comfortable being side chics in the first place.

We ladies of now adays are comforble with this notion that "I am his number 1 chic, every other chic na one chance".

Did they forbid you to be the only chic?

. . . says the 'executive' side chic cheesy

3 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 4:37pm On Mar 25, 2015
989900:


. . . says the 'executive' side chic cheesy

Nah,

I'll rather leave with my dignity intact than share my man.

wink

5 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by itops(f): 4:38pm On Mar 25, 2015
akinsadeez:



Ma'am, no be fight o. lolz. You can always disagree with me nah, just take it easy. grin grin

But you know, you have not disputed my point. She implied that during the time of our mothers, there was nothing like side chick which I disagreed with. If you feel I am wrong, give us your own facts to support her point. shikena.

I NO FIGHT.O, it just got to me that most of you men jump at topics like this to give selfish reasons why you should remain eternal cheats.

now my point is, our forefathers as you stated out and have been congratulated with 2 bottles of orijin are definately not older than GOD our creator who from creation , created just EVE FOR ADAM..if God sactions our forefathers attitude of subjecting women to household appliances by marrying as many wives as they like, why did he not add MARY AND ELIZABETH TO ADAM at creation when he (GOD) gave EVE TO ADAM.

i hate it when men thinks they are wiser than GOD.

5 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by duni04(m): 4:38pm On Mar 25, 2015
Its a war between women and the men are the innocent bystanders caught in the middle. A single woman will do everything possible to grab an average comfortable bachelor with all forms of seduction possible. She succeeds in marrying him and then forgets that there are other single women out there practicing the same form of seduction she used in nabbing her husband. Now she suddenly doesn't want to share her husband with any other woman. For where! As long as men are visual creatures and as long as there are women offering their thighs, breasts and buttocks to world to view in the name of fashion, women will continue to nab men and wives and girlfriends will continue to be cheated on. OP's mother probably didn't teach her that its a mans world. If you want your marriage to last, just accept that and accept your husbands excesses because he's helpless! As long as he has eyes and as long as there are desperate women flashing boobs, thighs and buttocks in his face, there is no hope for him.
The ladies, both married and single, can continue their cat fight while the innocent men stay in the corner and enjoy the view. Its not our fight!!!

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by kandiikane(m): 4:38pm On Mar 25, 2015
I remember onila opened a thread with memes called "side chicks be like". Even though the thread was taking the piss out of side chicks, it came across as accepting the idea of a side chick. I made a comment about it and I had people jumping down my throat saying it's a joke but they just did not get it. I was told to be "objective" but i still saw these people as dumbasses even if it was a joke. The idea alone should not even be entertained. But no, the du.mbass and fish-brained females think it is cool but these same females will be the same ones opening their nyashes in hurt saying their boyfriends or husbands has another woman. But, darling it is ok, as long as he comes home to you, right? Ediots!

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by jauntty: 4:41pm On Mar 25, 2015
akinsadeez:


lemme look at this from an African perspective.

Considering the bolded, it seems we now indulge in a form of historical revisionism. What I mean is that during the times of our fathers and grand fathers, the other woman as you have termed it, wasn't actually just 'the other woman', she was the other wife or wives. Back then our fathers not only dated other women, they often married them and the whole house still lived harmoniously. My grandfather for example, had 4 wives and it was the accepted norm then. But now when we look back with our rose tinted glasses, we assume, like you have done that having other women has always been an unacceptable practice which is now being tolerated rather than the opposite.

In fact, I would posit that the so called paradigm shift has actually been the vilification of the 'other woman'. Education and religion has now made us to see a one man one woman marriage as sacrosanct and any woman outside that union as the devilish meddlesome interloper. This was never part of the values our mothers had in the African setting.


I totally agree with you, very logical and intellectual, even though I don't support "Side-chicz" in a marriage. In dating I don't have an issh with that.

[/quote]
Justfollowit:

I pity the woman that is going to end up with you
[quote author=akinsadeez post=31959500]

I think he made some very valid points.

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 4:43pm On Mar 25, 2015
missbehave247:
Hearing this for the first time embarassed
what are u saying?
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Owliver(m): 4:43pm On Mar 25, 2015
itops:


I NO FIGHT.O, it just got to me that most of you men jump at topics like this to give selfish reasons why you should remain eternal cheats.

now my point is, our forefathers as you stated out and have been congratulated with 2 bottles of orijin are definately not older than GOD our creator who from creation , created just EVE FOR ADAM..if God sactions our forefathers attitude of subjecting women to household appliances by marrying as many wives as they like, why did he not add MARY AND ELIZABETH TO ADAM at creation when he (GOD) gave EVE TO ADAM.

i hate it when men thinks they are wiser than GOD.
is it the same God worshiped by king solomon?

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by kkoncept(f): 4:43pm On Mar 25, 2015
I dare tell my gf I'm a cheat, or I cheated even though I do, because she doesn't give a fucck at all. She feeds herself and almost won't even ask for my help. She is working and she is ok.

But most ladies eat from the guy's palm, and they still wanted a total respect? I dnt think it works both ways; u gotta stick to one

[/quote]

There is nothing like an independent woman... No guy will wanna mess with.

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 4:45pm On Mar 25, 2015
uzolexis:



That's why there is something called making sacrifices 4 ur partner. Do u think women don't like having more than 1 man too or that women r "wired" to be with only one man If u want 2 get married, stick 2 what it entails, 1 man, 1 wife or don't even do it at all, afterall marriage is not compulsory. Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well.

Ermmm

The reality is most men are bound to cheat or marry more wives. We all agree with that it is unfair on us. Some women (feminist) would advocate that women are also susceptible to these vices therefore there is no problem if a woman behaves likewise. Sounds fair but it is extremely stupid.


it and it is going to create more problems and I doubt if the society at large will survive it.

I don't like it, most women don't. Until we come up with something practical, I guess we are stuck with cleaning up their mess.

That is why I tell any female who care to listen

Know thyself and Be Independent

2 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Mitsurugi(m): 4:45pm On Mar 25, 2015
shitshappen:
I am a Christian, I believe in the bible as the word of God. And Jesus as the son of God.

I know the problem with our society was the day we accepted the white man's way of life, don't get me wrong. It is not in the blood of an African man to be with one woman. Centuries of practicing polygamy is now having a toll on us. We want to be faithful, we want to show you we love you, and the kids we had together with you.
But sometimes we also want to be with the other woman, they complement you. You are not perfect and we know that , that other woman sometimes make your own imperfections easy to bear.
Ask me one thing I want to change about christianity, it is that dictate of one man one woman. Now you know why I said I'm a Christian who believe in bible,who believe in christ Jesus.
I might be wrong, I might be right. I just know that men are not hot-wired to be with one woman, check the Patriarchs


I am a Christian but I cant find anywhere in the bible where a man MUST marry one wife. The only place is in the Book of Timothy where a BISHOP is encouraged to keep one wife and that because of stated reasons. Most women are deeply religious because the church helps them maintain a strangle hold on their man. The thing tire me sef. In those days women were more submissive, quiet and cooperative with the knowledge that she had co. these days they take their singular status for granted and perpetrate all sorts of evil. A woman these days denies you sex at will, in those days try it na... when two other women are waiting for set. Na you go beg tire. Women in those days struggled to cook the best and take care of the entire household, because there was competition. Now if husband never enter kitchen go cook, you never start to show love. Anyhow sha... I believe the women are the greatst beneficiaries of the Church.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by onoja12: 4:46pm On Mar 25, 2015
i dont know where you are from but in African culture a man is allowed to take more than one wife,so you must we deceiving yourself and like your friend say you never marry,when you suffer to get husband then you would learn how to keep one,for now na boy friend and sugar daddy level you dey,aging never start

mollysteeze:
Over the years, in what is a total paradigm shift from the values a lot of our mothers had (well at least some), the "other woman" has now become tolerable. I am not sure when along the way it happened, and no one remembered to send me a memo but it appears to now be the norm.

I always have some nagging urge to blatantly say "No babe, it is downright unacceptable", when my friends broach me on this subject, but you end up being the friend who likes to break up homes because she's not married yet. People say if I was in those shoes I would feel differently.

Well Maybe.

However, no matter how much shame I would feel, I knew myself before I got married, my values remain my values, knowing my self-worth is what shapes every corner of my life and that is the core of me. To change now or later would be to deny who I have been for 26 years. While I am never an advocate for divorce, I have realized people do not change overnight.

A year back, my friend's boyfriend told her he was confused who to pick between her and two other girlfriends. Well she fought for "her man". Trouble is today they are married, and he's still seeing one of the other girls, who he has now rented an apartment for in Nigeria, and he's here half the year.

I've realised, the people who complain about there husbands or fiance throwing some other woman in their face mostly had an inkling they were cheats while they were dating. They were the ones who fought of five other girls to get their man. But the question is, if when you were dating there were five of you, why do you think today he would be satisfied with one. I have no doubt in my mind, everyone has an idea of things their partners are capable of in their subconscious, the trouble is a lot of us convince ourselves to believe some other truth that better suits our wants.

My mama has taught me, life is too short to jump into something you can't tolerate all your life, the sole reason for sharing your life with someone and giving up your freedom should be because they make you happier than anyone else in the world. Do not compromise your values or one day you would wish you had not.

But then, on the flip side, if you like smelling some other girls perfume on your man and having your kids run into daddy and "Aunty Bintan, the side chick" at the hotel near their school then go right ahead.

2 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by coulisse: 4:46pm On Mar 25, 2015
i say this all the time don't expect a man not to cheat you either pray for him so that he wouldn't cheat or you leave him alone to do whatever he wants so you don't give your self hypertension and die.
ALL MEN CHEATS

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by 989900: 4:46pm On Mar 25, 2015
Truckpusher:
Is there any gain in treating your woman like a trash because she eats from your palm?

What if it is the other way round , would you feel good about it?

Good question to ask . . . simply, shouldn't be so.

OTOH, it's always good to differentiate between GF/BF issues from Husband/wife issues . . . totally different rules apply.

1. If you are a single male doing good for yourself, and don't get enough of these ladies before getting married . . . your loss . . . guys like you end up with mistresses/second home outside after marriage 'cause of your naivety.

2. If you are married and cheating outside, BIG shame on you!

P.S. If you'r a 'true'/'aspiring true' christian, NO SEX B4 MARRIAGE, 'no say na me corrupt you' . . . ur OYO.
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 4:47pm On Mar 25, 2015
akinsadeez:



I wasn't expecting anything different from a dumb person who can neither reason nor argue intellectually. They always resort to insults grin grin grin grin

Bwahahahaha

O'boy, you are not on my level at all

You do not even come a feet close to it undecided

Go play with your mates
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by 989900: 4:48pm On Mar 25, 2015
coulisse:
i say this all the time don't expect a man not to cheat you either pray for him so that he wouldn't cheat or you leave him alone to do whatever he wants so you don't give your self hypertension and die.
ALL MEN CHEATS

Correct, bar "all men cheat" . . . some 0.5% don't cheesy

2 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Boyooosa(m): 4:48pm On Mar 25, 2015
can somebody translate her story to English for me please


hitting my keyborad hard as if its this lady's face!
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Owliver(m): 4:49pm On Mar 25, 2015
Mitsurugi:



I am a Christian but I cant find anywhere in the bible where a man MUST marry one wife. The only place is in the Book of Timothy where a BISHOP is encouraged to keep one wife and that because of stated reasons. Most women are deeply religious because the church helps them maintain a strangle hold on their man. The thing tire me sef. In those days women were more submissive, quiet and cooperative with the knowledge that she had co. these days they take their singular status for granted and perpetrate all sorts of evil. A woman these days denies you sex at will, in those days try it na... when two other women are waiting for set. Na you go beg tire. Women in those days struggled to cook the best and take care of the entire household, because there was competition. Now if husband never enter kitchen go cook, you never start to show love. Anyhow sha... I believe the women are the greatst beneficiaries of the Church.
don't mind them. By the time buhari islamize Nigeria we will be marrying 4wives and anyone who objects we will cut off the head. Its accepted by the moon god after all wink its a man's world. Deal with it if you can't then take a visa and go to america grin

2 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Boyooosa(m): 4:49pm On Mar 25, 2015
can somebody translate her story to English for me please


hitting my keyboard hard as if its this lady's face!
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Truckpusher(m): 4:50pm On Mar 25, 2015
989900:


Good question to ask . . . simply, shouldn't be so.

OTOH, it's always good to differentiate between GF/BF issues from Husband/wife issues . . . totally different rules apply.

1. If you are a single male doing good for yourself, and don't get enough of these ladies before getting married . . . your loss . . . guys like you end up with mistresses/second home outside after marriage 'cause of your naivety.

2. If you are married and cheating outside, BIG shame on you!

P.S. If you'r a 'true'/'aspiring true' christian, NO SEX B4 MARRIAGE, 'no say na me corrupt you' . . . ur OYO.

What you wrote got nothing to do with the question that was raised .

Maybe you need an interpreter .
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by missbehave247(m): 4:53pm On Mar 25, 2015
Jollyjoy:
what are u saying?
did you read the writeup
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Debbielam(f): 4:54pm On Mar 25, 2015
pft side chick?? God knows i will never fight another girl for a guy.....easier said than done right? but when u knw ur worth u wont allow any mofucker to trample on u.....plus its only a lady who is depending 100% on a guy due to greediness nd lack of self worth that can try all that rubbish....

3 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Yehman(m): 4:54pm On Mar 25, 2015
mollysteeze:
Over the years, in what is a total paradigm shift from the values a lot of our mothers had (well at least some), the "other woman" has now become tolerable. I am not sure when along the way it happened, and no one remembered to send me a memo but it appears to now be the norm.

I always have some nagging urge to blatantly say "No babe, it is downright unacceptable", when my friends broach me on this subject, but you end up being the friend who likes to break up homes because she's not married yet. People say if I was in those shoes I would feel differently.

Well Maybe.

However, no matter how much shame I would feel, I knew myself before I got married, my values remain my values, knowing my self-worth is what shapes every corner of my life and that is the core of me. To change now or later would be to deny who I have been for 26 years. While I am never an advocate for divorce, I have realized people do not change overnight.

A year back, my friend's boyfriend told her he was confused who to pick between her and two other girlfriends. Well she fought for "her man". Trouble is today they are married, and he's still seeing one of the other girls, who he has now rented an apartment for in Nigeria, and he's here half the year.

I've realised, the people who complain about there husbands or fiance throwing some other woman in their face mostly had an inkling they were cheats while they were dating. They were the ones who fought of five other girls to get their man. But the question is, if when you were dating there were five of you, why do you think today he would be satisfied with one. I have no doubt in my mind, everyone has an idea of things their partners are capable of in their subconscious, the trouble is a lot of us convince ourselves to believe some other truth that better suits our wants.

My mama has taught me, life is too short to jump into something you can't tolerate all your life, the sole reason for sharing your life with someone and giving up your freedom should be because they make you happier than anyone else in the world. Do not compromise your values or one day you would wish you had not.

But then, on the flip side, if you like smelling some other girls perfume on your man and having your kids run into daddy and "Aunty Bintan, the side chick" at the hotel near their school then go right ahead.
NA una still talk say" an empty pocket deserves no erection"

1 Like

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Nobody: 4:54pm On Mar 25, 2015
shitshappen:
I am a Christian, I believe in the bible as the word of God. And Jesus as the son of God.

I know the problem with our society was the day we accepted the white man's way of life, don't get me wrong. It is not in the blood of an African man to be with one woman. Centuries of practicing polygamy is now having a toll on us. We want to be faithful, we want to show you we love you, and the kids we had together with you.
But sometimes we also want to be with the other woman, they complement you. You are not perfect and we know that , that other woman sometimes make your own imperfections easy to bear.
Ask me one thing I want to change about christianity, it is that dictate of one man one woman. Now you know why I said I'm a Christian who believe in bible,who believe in christ Jesus.
I might be wrong, I might be right. I just know that men are not hot-wired to be with one woman, check the Patriarchs

So God that decreed it so was Dreaming?...if men were Gods...

2 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Boyooosa(m): 4:55pm On Mar 25, 2015
Truckpusher:
What you wrote got nothing to do with the question that was raised .

Maybe you need an interpreter .
MOD, how can i delete a thread that doesnt make sense on NL?
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by 989900: 4:55pm On Mar 25, 2015
Owliver:
is it the same God worshiped by king solomon?

And David, and Jacob . . . cheesy

But marrying another woman is different from committing adultery.

The problem now is, socio-economically, marrying a second wife is give or take, a f00lish idea, so people short cut: the evolution of the 'side-chick'.
Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by chinnyonwu(m): 4:56pm On Mar 25, 2015
duni04:
Its a war between women and the men are the innocent bystanders caught in the middle. A single woman will do everything possible to grab an average comfortable bachelor with all forms of seduction possible. She succeeds in marrying him and then forgets that there are other single women out there practicing the same form of seduction she used in nabbing her husband. Now she suddenly doesn't want to share her husband with any other woman. For where! As long as men are visual creatures and as long as there are women offering their thighs, breasts and buttocks to world to view in the name of fashion, women will continue to nab men and wives and girlfriends will continue to be cheated on. OP's mother probably didn't teach her that its a mans world. If you want your marriage to last, just accept that and accept your husbands excesses because he's helpless! As long as he has eyes and as long as there are desperate women flashing boobs, thighs and buttocks in his face, there is no hope for him.
The ladies, both married and single, can continue their cat fight while the innocent men stay in the corner and enjoy the view. Its not our fight!!!
you are very wise sir.
the wise women have accepted their fate at the back of their minds
d dumb ones keep gettin dissapointed

3 Likes

Re: When Did We Become So Tolerant Of The Other Woman? by Owliver(m): 4:56pm On Mar 25, 2015
Debbielam:
pft side chick?? God knows i will never fight another girl for a guy.....easier said than done right? but when u knw ur worth u wont allow any mofucker to trample on u.....plus its only a lady who is depending 100% on a guy due to greediness nd lack of self worth that can try all that rubbish....
I still haven't understood the concept of this "self worth" of a thing. Am confuse sad

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