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Re: My poems by Nobody: 3:29pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Zikdik:Wow!! Thanks. MORE POEMS LOADING I'm getting there |
Re: My poems by Zikdik(m): 3:33pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
My deductions: 1) You're limiting your genre to love and rejection. It's going to get stale. You have to be innovative and explore other concepts. 2) The length of the poems are not encouraging. Poetry is all about expressing yourself. Research. Prepare. Choose your words. Write until you exhaust your creativity. 3) Try to give your work a story. A plot that is visible from start to finish. It gives your poem the drop-me-not touch. Overall, good job. |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 3:56pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Life is not a solitaire Neither is it an island But my own has become empty and desolate Like the desert in the forest Everyone avoids me like plaque A plaque capable of destroying people In an attempt to injure the palm-tree,the tappers cut the climbing In an attempt to punish me,people shut me down. Do i stinks?? Am i unlovable?? Am i from another planet?? A planet allergyic to love?? I've done abominable thing in the past YES! Dont i deserve a second chance? I thereby live by stepping backward and forward. My past lacks kolanut,present lacks oil and my future will lack salt. If loneliness truly kills,i ought to be dead by now. I guess it's coming slowly,atleast i will be able to rest away from the earth that lacks love Human's heart is more deadly than a virus,once closed,it never opens |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 3:59pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Zikdik,thanks for your corrections I will definitely make amendments pls review the last poem i wrote it in haste tho' |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 7:27pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
I'm a sorry flower I'm a parasitic virus I'm a destructive hibiscus I'm a cursed vinegrape. I'm the dreadful demon I'm the land that doesnt sustain it's inhabitant I'm the hill that yields poisonous magna I'm the darkness that squelchs the light I'm the disease that troubles people I'm the wealth-lake in drought and the desert that paints an ugly scenerio I'm the plaque that people avoids I'm the fowl that perched on a rope, Sleep has become an aliens to me,just like the man who swallows pestle. My ugly and dark past came haunting me I've turned the river water to blood-red My hands stained with blood,will it ever be cleansed?? Will i know peace again?? Will they ever forgive me?? Those i deliberately caused pains?? Will,i ever be calm?? Well,time will tell! |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 7:29pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
The last poem was inspired by a robber who i was able to speak to,he has done unprintable things and now he's disturbed. zikdik->your reviews pls?? |
Re: My poems by Zikdik(m): 9:09pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
kitnah:I'm really trying not to be too emotional. I'd review very soon |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 9:33pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Zikdik:ok |
Re: My poems by Zikdik(m): 8:13pm On Mar 25, 2015 |
kitnah:I really don't care about the poetry. The message is pretty clear and sometimes, that's what really matters. I don't know. I really don't. Robbery is purely sociopathic. It is barbaric and unsocial. But sometimes, people deserve a second chance to prove they can right their wrongs and do good things. But I'm a respecter of the sanctity of life by career and dispensation. I'm all for second chances. Its a good thing you worked on length. Try to pull it a bit more. Improve on your lyrics as well. You're doing very well. |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 8:43pm On Mar 25, 2015 |
Zikdik:THANK YOU SO MUCH |
Re: My poems by NwannekaUloma(f): 4:14pm On Mar 26, 2015 |
I am sorry I know you are hurting Your heart has been broken Floods of tears your face have seen Betrayal has never been this great Friends say you don't deserve this Yet tis your heart that bleeds I'm sorry you're pained You’re disappointed, without hope All the trust given has crumbled You opt to walk away from love itself Never to give your heart to no one else Tis ok to feel the pain, to vent your fury But dare not walk away from love Do not allow pain to enslave you Mourn the loss but for a while Some things are passing seasons Lest you be a captive of your own heart Spend your days crying for yester years While happiness watch you in sorrow I am sorry tis your turn to wail Such a pain! Your tears should be bloody You could swear your heart has cracked Pain that coils and cause you to collapse I promise in time wounds will mend If you let it be, so shall your pain heal Do not rush to burn the bridges Tis not wise to pretend nothing happened Day by day dump them one by one Wave goodbye to creeping thoughts Wipe your tears and search for a smile Then one day it will be a laughter 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: My poems by Zikdik(m): 5:59pm On Mar 26, 2015 |
NwannekaUloma:Good one. 1 Like |
Re: My poems by NwannekaUloma(f): 7:50pm On Mar 26, 2015 |
thanks dear |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 8:26pm On Mar 26, 2015 |
Re: My poems by Zikdik(m): 8:42pm On Mar 26, 2015 |
kitnah:It's going to be a free weekend. Do give me a theme I can write on so I can contribute to this wonderful thread. |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 8:50pm On Mar 26, 2015 |
Zikdik:Cool "heartbroken" "death as a debt we must pay" "freedom"# "burnt food" Just pick one |
Re: My poems by Zikdik(m): 4:19pm On Mar 29, 2015 |
Mirror, Mirror on the wall Am I really the smartest of them all? Mirror, Mirror on the wall Will I find true love at all? Mirror, Mirror on the wall When will stop hurting inside? Mirror, Mirror on the wall Why am I always on the wrong side? Mirror, Mirror on the wall Is it Juliet or maybe, may? Mirror, Mirror on the wall Do I really have to go all the way? Mirror, Mirror on the wall Who am I? I really must know. Mirror, Mirror on the wall Left or right, which way to go. Mirror, Mirror on the wall Why do I have to care? Mirror, Mirror on the wall Why is Life never fair? Mirror, Mirror on the wall This is what I want to know Mirror, Mirror on the wall Who is my friend? Who is my foe? Mirror, Mirror on the wall To finally cap it all Mirror, Mirror on the wall Who's the fairest of them all? |
Re: My poems by Zikdik(m): 5:11pm On Mar 29, 2015 |
An old man once told me a story Of a land, fruitful and a people, merry Of a king who always wore a purple cloak Of his Ballard who always sang folk Of his chiefs who wore fine laces Of their hands adorned with golden maces Of their stocky and manly carriage Of their judgement, fair, however mild or savage Of the men of this land, valiant Of their wisdom and foresight, savant Of their visage, groomed and well-kept Of their minds, set with a mindset Of the women and their fidelity Of their renowned and celebrated piety Of their exquisite and ravishing beauty Of the culinary delicacies-delicious and bounty Of the youth of this land, hardworking Of their strength and valor, vociferously striking Of their greatest might, mental Of their wisdom, almost transcendental Of their land, admired far and wide Of their children, ever glad, by their parent's side And as my mind began to wander fro and yonder The Old man told me a tale, yet, another Then, this old man told me another story Of a land, barren and a people, dreary Of a king who always wore dyed-blue cloak Of his Ballard who never sang folk Of his chiefs who wore faded laces Of their hands blistered with thorny maces Of their frail and weak carriage Of their judgement, prejudicial and savage Of the men of this land, cowardly Of their wisdom, in nature, measly Of their visage, haggard and untoward Of their minds, unstable and froward Of the women of this land and their unfaithfulness Of their infamous and ignoble lasciviousness Of their disgustingly uninviting ugliness Of the stench of their pots in all of its maliciousness Of the youth of this land, lazy Of their strength and valor, hazy Of their greatest weakness, stupidity Of their wisdom, almost a nonentity Of the Children of this land, always sad Away from callous mum and Dad At this point, I broke down My heart bled for the people of this town Who is to be praised for the blessedness of the first? Or be blamed for the curse of the next? |
Re: My poems by Zikdik(m): 5:12pm On Mar 29, 2015 |
Kitnah..you can comment on them. Don't try to be nice. |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 10:40am On Mar 30, 2015 |
This is awesome,i mean,i cant fault if at all The length is moderate Riched with metaphor and imagery Nice work sir |
Re: My poems by Zikdik(m): 12:07pm On Mar 30, 2015 |
kitnah:Thank you. Sir? That's funny. |
Re: My poems by vcume(f): 6:30pm On Mar 31, 2015 |
The world is full of second chances so i think you deserve one the poem is a nice piece and i believe there is room for improvement |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 6:57pm On Mar 31, 2015 |
vcume:THANKS!! |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 9:31am On Apr 06, 2015 |
**yawns** It been long I dropped something o |
Re: My poems by noble4d(m): 7:25pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
kitnah: Hi kitnah, you write well but not without little flaws. Always start first letters in each line with capital letter. Also, take note of punctuations. keep on writing them. noblecares |
Re: My poems by Nobody: 7:30pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
noble4d:Aww,thanks!! Kindly review my other poems |
Re: My poems by noble4d(m): 7:39pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
Same applies to other poems of yours. Try bringing your audience closer, let them feel the flavours and messages portrayed. Poetry is about expressing ur innermost feelings, ideas and thoughts. You vividly also need to adequately present a form that will represent ur work. Is it free verse, blank verse e.t.c. Go on research, read and study poems of great poet and poetess, you'll definitely improve. noblecares. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My poems by doyineko(m): 1:57pm On Apr 10, 2015 |
hello kitnah Give me a chance Dear,i'm so sorry take me back pls The heart knows what it want A second chance is all i yawn for [/quote] |
Re: My poems by Zikdik(m): 10:02am On Apr 11, 2015 |
He’s always been afraid. She was always petrified. They both always craved control, They were similar in that way, We all are. You know, Something I‘ve been meaning to tell you is that The devil isn’t red and he doesn't have horns. He’s got brown eyes and a charming smile. He won’t lead you to do evil things, And he won’t make your life hell. No, He will make you do that yourself. His role? He’s there to comfort you, Bring you in, Hold you close, He will tell you that he can save you, Only him. “Without him, you’re nothing.” You’re worthless, he’s made you believe it. “You’re lucky to have him.” He’s a parasite. He will say anything to make you stay. He’s afraid. And another thing, She isn’t all scars and sad poems. There are stars hidden in her lungs That she whispers into sweet poetry Hoping that one line, just one, will be enough. She won’t write you into stanzas, She won’t be your muse. No, You’ve been poetry this whole time. Her role? She’s there to make art, To feel every emotion Deeper than the bottles she drinks to make them go away. She will write, She will turn him into midnight poems And cries to be set free From all of this. “Darling, the moon doesn't shine for you.” She understands this and he won't accept it. “You’re the only poem I know how to write.” She’s a poet. She will do anything to make him stay. She’s petrified. He tore her down and bruised her soul, And she turned him into art. The world might not remember how she felt, But they will read her poems and know, The devil isn’t red and he doesn't have horns. He’s got brown eyes and a charming smile. And She isn’t all scars and sad poems. There were stars hidden in her lungs That she whispered into sweet poetry. He was afraid, And she was petrified, We all are. Kitnah, noble4d |
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