@op: Why do you think your wife refused your mother those pictures? Did she tell you why?

Does your wife believe in 'jaz'? Does she believe that your family dabbles in 'jaz'?

OP,you need to be strong now.
DO NOT FOR ANY REASON LET ANY FAMILY MEMBER OF YOURS BREAK YOUR HOME, NOT EVEN YOU MOTHER.
You will be surprised that ur mother will leave you with the kids once u ask your wife out, she will not ask let alone care about how you are coping with the kids and work as a single parent.
Ur wife and u became "one" from the day u wedded. If your mum insists, give her space/stop every communications FOR NOW. Am sure the fight started when d attack got to its extreme. Hold ur peace my dear, family members have a way of breaking homes; I don't let them decide for me.
A colleague of mine said, the greatest mistake he made was to send his wife away cos of his family. Now he is lonely and his family members are living their own happy lives. His wife has refused to return due to his weakness of taking sides with his family members.

Wisdom is Profitable to Direct, Handle avec caution et maturity.

perfectionist:
Nairalanders, I'm in a quagmire! About one week ago, my mother came to visit my family with her sister and a friend. After the preliminary greetings and felicitations, I proceeded to take leave of my guests in order to go and service my car, leaving them in the hands of my wife after having provided some refreshments for them.
Now, my wife and mother have no love lost between them and barely get along but the joviality they displayed together in my presence combined with the fact that my mother's sister and friend were also around made me to believe all will be well and nothing will go wrong.
No sooner had I left home than I received a frantic call from my wife to return quickly that all hell had broken loose.
Upon getting home, I found my mother and my wife on the 3-seater going at each other with both wailing. I managed to separate them and proceeded to find the cause of the fight. I was told by the two onlookers (mother's sister and a friend) that my wife prevented my mother from taking some photos of the child dedication we did a few weeks back from the photo album. This incensed my mother and led to my wife being slapped following which all hell was broken loose. My mother even sustained a deep scratch on her face.
Now, my family members have insisted that my wife must leave the house for committing this abomination (their words, not mine). Indeed, my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that mother and son relationship has ended as long as my wife continues to remain in the house.
I love my wife and has two young children with her but this whole issue has complicated things.
What should I do? Your candid advice and suggestions will be appreciated.

I'm sorry for you OP. There is no woman on earth that will slap my mother and go scot free.

What am I even saying? I trust my momma like fire. She would have probably maimed her before I return.

But I understand that not all women are hot blooded and hot tempered like mine Howerver, what your wife did was uncalled for. What a travesty! This is your chance to prove you are the owner of the house. Send the hot blooded woman packing! Nollywood corruption.

If you don't teach sense into her now, it will happen again. and ultimately it will descend to the point where your kids will not be allowed to visit your mom or even touch or talk to her. Whatever you do, be sturdy about it. Send her packing, back to her parents. Her parents should tender an apology. Ask your hot blooded wife how she will feel if you land 3 hot slaps on the eldest member of her family or either of her parents.

Hypocritical short thinking people everywhere. By the way, this story looks perfect for a Nollywood script.

Cc: Safari29

PS: If this happened during the middle ages, the OP would have been ordered to gut his wife.

Good morning. Eat, bath and go out to vote for APC now.......God will be with you all.Go go go go now....

Amybijou:
OP,you need to be strong now.
DO NOT FOR ANY REASON LET ANY FAMILY MEMBER OF YOURS BREAK YOUR HOME, NOT EVEN YOU MOTHER.
You will be surprised that ur mother will leave you with the kids once u ask your wife out, she will not ask let alone care about how you are coping with the kids and work as a single parent.
Ur wife and u became "one" from the day u wedded. If your mum insists, give her space/stop every communications FOR NOW. Am sure the fight started when d attack got to its extreme. Hold ur peace my dear, family members have a way of breaking homes; I don't let them decide for me.
A colleague of mine said, the greatest mistake he made was to send his wife away cos of his family. Now he is lonely and his family members are living their own happy lives. His wife has refused to return due to his weakness of taking sides with his family members.

Very good. Birds of the same feather. How would you feel if your son's wife designs your face with 3 hot fiery slaps? Happy? Go siddons, Iyawo Bournvita.

Congratulate ur wife...she has done well

adesegun121:
Good morning. Eat, bath and go out to vote for APC now.......God will be with you all.Go go go go now....

Comedic.

get both arrested for electoral violence..

ZACHIE:
Yeah, kinda complicated considering Mother-Son bond but, a few things need to be got straight.

One, by what magic was your wife able to phone you while battling with your mother on the sofa?

Aside that however, if indeed your Mum asked to be given those pictures, your wife has no choice but to give her, after all, you call always reprint them.
EVEN If she didn`t demand for the pictures and took them, your wife still should sheathe her bad manners and for the sake of peace, give her the pictures.

Nonissue.

But, since she has no respect left whatsoever for your Mum and your Mum wouldn't trade her pride for peace, you may need to play the Devil,s advocacy here.

Talk to the both of them as candidly as possible. No stories.

Tell them how much you love them both. And how much you want them in your life.
But that if they continue to live like mutual enemies, YOU the MAN WILL BE GONE.

GONE FOR THE 2 OF THEM TO EAT THEMSELVES UP.

you are talking trash. the mother should have known that she is in someone's matrimony home not hers.

cococandy:


That's true.

And so was your mother's behavior too.
You will eventually have to let her know that when peace has returned.
For now, focus on peace and achieve it and look for the good time to bring it up and tell her that her own part in the fracas wasn't good too.

Each party had to understand their shortcomings to ensure that there's no repeat of such.
If one doesn't understand what they did wrong, they can always repeat it because to them it is not wrong.

I wish you goodluck.

Don't worry you guys will be fine
Mama will calm down sometime. She can't be angry forever:

Forget not that women are natural grudge bearers...wish @op luck in finding balance...

perfectionist:


My wife would gladly do that but my mother has threatened fire and brimstone if I ever show up at her place with my wife.

gv her time

Woman to woman issue, becareful,calm ur mum and call ur wife to order

As women would say;
"You should choose between me and her, one must leave this house today!"

greatgod2012:
Another MIL-DIL thread.



Why is your wife suspicious of your mother?
What has their relationship been like?
Why will your wife refuse your mother to take her grandchildren's picture?
Can she do the same with her own mother?
This is what we're saying, your wife couldn't tolerate your own mother, but i'm sure she will with her own mother.
Anyway, let your wife realise that what she did is wrong, except you're the one who instructed her to do what she did. Then take her to go and beg mama. Before then, beg your mother to forgive you for your own sake and the little kids' sake to please forgive your wife, tell her (your mum) to always ask you what she want instead from your wife and thereafter take your wife to go beg her with all sincerity from her.

My personal opinion, please.

another trash from an empty gong.

Go and fight with her mother

aflyingbird:
why are some of y'all blaming the wife ?
OP , ur mother wanted to take the photos, but u didn't mention her wanting to print them and bring back the original. 1) ur wife had every right to prevent her from taking the photos ( they are her photos after all ), especially if there was no mention of printing. those r important photos n probably mean a lot to ur wife , of course she won't let anyone take them just like that . 2) ur mother had no right to slap ur wife just 'cus ur wife said she couldn't take the pictures. why hit her? she isn't ur child neither is she a little kid to be slapped anyhow. u don't put ur hands on anyone. let's be fair here : your mother initiated this fight. ur mother had her sister n friend there so of course they will take her side, ur wife is the lone ranger dat they ganged up on , but if u ask me she is the victim . they were probably looking for a fight from the start

aflyingbird:
why are some of y'all blaming the wife ?
OP , ur mother wanted to take the photos, but u didn'ti mention her wanting to print them and bring back the original. 1) ur wife had every right to prevent her from taking the photos ( they are her photos after all ), especially if there was no mention of printing. those r important photos n probably mean a lot to ur wife , o
course she won't let anyone take them just like that . 2) ur mother had no right to slap ur wife just 'cus ur wife said she couldn't take the pictures. why hit her? she isn't ur child neither is she a little kid to be slapped anyhow. u don't ptu t ur hands on anyone. rlet's be fair here : your mother initiated this fight. ur mother had her sister n friend there so of course they
will take her side, ur wife is the lone ranger dat they ganged up on , but if u ask me she is the victim . they were probably looking for a fighth from the start

u have said it all, some mother in law are wicked and like wise their daughter.oo

mine don't have any problem bt her duaghter is wicked she monitor the amount of food I eat( the food dat hubby bght ) she is married bt hardly stay in her husband house when ever they return and will not bring anything whie coming. this lady is lazy even to bath her only son is a big work to her talk more of cooking as I write dis nw she is still sleeping and will wake up monitoring me. I have ask to give me patience heart.

So your wife fought with your mother over pictures,please ask your wife one question,would she stop her own mother from taking does pictures.if not then she is a disrespectful,arrogant idiot. definitely she should be kicked out of your house before she brings bigger trouble to you

perfectionist:
Nairalanders, I'm in a quagmire! About one week ago, my mother came to visit my family with her sister and a friend. After the preliminary greetings and felicitations, I proceeded to take leave of my guests in order to go and service my car, leaving them in the hands of my wife after having provided some refreshments for them.
Now, my wife and mother have no love lost between them and barely get along but the joviality they displayed together in my presence combined with the fact that my mother's sister and friend were also around made me to believe all will be well and nothing will go wrong.
No sooner had I left home than I received a frantic call from my wife to return quickly that all hell had broken loose.
Upon getting home, I found my mother and my wife on the 3-seater going at each other with both wailing. I managed to separate them and proceeded to find the cause of the fight. I was told by the two onlookers (mother's sister and a friend) that my wife prevented my mother from taking some photos of the child dedication we did a few weeks back from the photo album. This incensed my mother and led to my wife being slapped following which all hell was broken loose. My mother even sustained a deep scratch on her face.
Now, my family members have insisted that my wife must leave the house for committing this abomination (their words, not mine). Indeed, my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that mother and son relationship has ended as long as my wife continues to remain in the house.
I love my wife and has two young children with her but this whole issue has complicated things.
What should I do? Your candid advice and suggestions will be appreciated.

Hian. Wetin we no go hear?

Your mother must have bitten more than she can chew. For your wife to decide to fight her means she must have pushed her to the walls, as you said they don't get along. Your wife has been looking for an opportunity since, which she got on a platter of gold, to release her bottled up anger on your mum.

Do you know it's not easy to marry a man whose mother do not like you? Your wife must have been planning on this fight, which I am somehow in support. Some MIL can be annoying.

DIL don't just wake up one morning and want to fight MIL. Assuming your wife is not a hot tempered person.


But wife didn't try though.

Talk to your mother so that she understands your wife is the owner of that house and not her. Ask your wife her reasons for not allowing your mother to take those pix. I am sure she sees your mother/her sister/friend as someone that can be fetish.

Well bros, a little talk to both will solve the problem. DO NOT TAKE SIDES REMEMBER.

my family members have insisted that my wife must leave the house for committing this abomination (their words, not mine). Indeed, my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that mother and son relationship has ended as long as my wife continues to remain in the house.

@OP

Please don't under-estimate this because your mum has indirectly placed a curse on you. Call it superstition if you like but it's something you should take serious.

TheFilmmaker:


Very good. Birds of the same feather. How would you feel if your son's wife designs your face with 3 hot fiery slaps? Happy? Go siddons, Iyawo Bournvita.

The last time I checked, I am STILL entitled to my opinions. Won't join u in insulting cos am not silly.
For ur question, am not crazy so I'll NEVER maltreat or slap my daughter cos mum does not treat hers in that manner. Neither will I fight my mother inlaw.
Be guided.

Waiting for dame kanwulia /kanwuliaJara's comment

Was it your wife that fought with your mother? Or your mother that fought with your wife?

If na your wife fight your mama, na to pursue her o. No home training and your kids might tow her line. And no carry your mama play o

My Dad didn't Talk to his mother and his siblings for 16yrs until she died and he wasn't even moved.... why?...she gave him same choice "your wife or me?" And knowing the kinda women his wife(my mum) and his mother were he gladly chose his wife over her and his siblings took the side of his mum....and why all this? simply because my mum called her a Witch to her face!!.... and when my Dad was Confronted you know what he told his mum "if you didn't act like a witch she wouldn't call you one ".

What's my point?..... why would your mum slap a grown married woman if she wasn't looking for trouble?.... better stick to your wife..... your mama time don pass.... After the Bible sef talk am.

Let me be straight with you. No woman(even your mother) will appreciate anybody coming to take an item from her home without permission from them. Yes she is your mother as well as her mother in law, but her authority is in her husband's (your father's) house.

The right thing to do is to politely ask for those pictures and if your wife refuses, she should have allowed you to come back without confronting your wife. So far as I am concern, a house is made up of a man and his wife. Every other persons are intruders no matter their relationship to you or your wife.

The deed has been done already. Get your wife to apologize by sending your mother an SMS since she won't want to see her. Then look for a way they can see that's after your mother must have been calmed so your wife can ask for her forgiveness.

Then trace the root cause of their issue and ensure it is resolved amicably. They are the 2 most important people in your life, and as such you can't chose between them.

As for your mother suggesting you ask your wife to leave, NO WAY! Stand your ground now or you will have your family running your home. Equally endeavor to make it clear to your mother or any other extended family that they should clearly ask for permission (from you or wify) before collecting anything from the house.

ugwum007:


you are talking trash. the mother should have known that she is in someone's matrimony home not hers.

The mother was in her son's house.

perfectionist:
Nairalanders, I'm in a quagmire! About one week ago, my mother came to visit my family with her sister and a friend. After the preliminary greetings and felicitations, I proceeded to take leave of my guests in order to go and service my car, leaving them in the hands of my wife after having provided some refreshments for them.
Now, my wife and mother have no love lost between them and barely get along but the joviality they displayed together in my presence combined with the fact that my mother's sister and friend were also around made me to believe all will be well and nothing will go wrong.
No sooner had I left home than I received a frantic call from my wife to return quickly that all hell had broken loose.
Upon getting home, I found my mother and my wife on the 3-seater going at each other with both wailing. I managed to separate them and proceeded to find the cause of the fight. I was told by the two onlookers (mother's sister and a friend) that my wife prevented my mother from taking some photos of the child dedication we did a few weeks back from the photo album. This incensed my mother and led to my wife being slapped following which all hell was broken loose. My mother even sustained a deep scratch on her face.
Now, my family members have insisted that my wife must leave the house for committing this abomination (their words, not mine). Indeed, my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that mother and son relationship has ended as long as my wife continues to remain in the house.
I love my wife and has two young children with her but this whole issue has complicated things.
What should I do? Your candid advice and suggestions will be appreciated.

Your Wife (WDRespect) has no atom of respect at all...you have to deal with the situations by working on your wife...No matter what...she shouldn't beat an elderly woman for any reason...let alone her mother-in-law. your mum might be hot tempered as shown by her actions of slapping her daughter-in-law...But your wife still lacks respect for Elderly.

I dnt really no you want to do but go and ask your mother maybe there is something like secret from ur wife and ur mother

aflyingbird:
why are some of y'all blaming the wife ?

OP , ur mother wanted to take the photos, but u didn't mention her wanting to print them and bring back the original. 1) ur wife had every right to prevent her from taking the photos ( they are her photos after all ), especially if there was no mention of printing. they r child dedication photos dat mean a lot to ur wife , of course she won't let anyone take them just like that . 2) ur mother had no right to slap ur wife just 'cus ur wife said she couldn't take the pictures. why hit her? she isn't ur child neither is she a little kid to be slapped anyhow. u don't put ur hands on anyone. let's be fair here : your mother initiated this fight. ur mother had her sister n friend there so of course they will take her side, ur wife is the lone ranger dat they ganged up on , but if u ask me she is the victim . they were probably looking for a fight from the start

finally, someone with complete set of brains. How will the mother feel if someone comes to showcase that kind of authority in her own matrimony home? you talk well.

perfectionist:
Nairalanders, I'm in a quagmire! About one week ago, my mother came to visit my family with her sister and a friend. After the preliminary greetings and felicitations, I proceeded to take leave of my guests in order to go and service my car, leaving them in the hands of my wife after having provided some refreshments for them.
Now, my wife and mother have no love lost between them and barely get along but the joviality they displayed together in my presence combined with the fact that my mother's sister and friend were also around made me to believe all will be well and nothing will go wrong.
No sooner had I left home than I received a frantic call from my wife to return quickly that all hell had broken loose.
Upon getting home, I found my mother and my wife on the 3-seater going at each other with both wailing. I managed to separate them and proceeded to find the cause of the fight. I was told by the two onlookers (mother's sister and a friend) that my wife prevented my mother from taking some photos of the child dedication we did a few weeks back from the photo album. This incensed my mother and led to my wife being slapped following which all hell was broken loose. My mother even sustained a deep scratch on her face.
Now, my family members have insisted that my wife must leave the house for committing this abomination (their words, not mine). Indeed, my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that mother and son relationship has ended as long as my wife continues to remain in the house.
I love my wife and has two young children with her but this whole issue has complicated things.
What should I do? Your candid advice and suggestions will be appreciated.

My brother,as far as am concerned,your mother has lived her life & shouldn't come destroy your young family... Stay with your wife/family,with time your mother would come around & things would die down,don't let your children grow up without their mother,cos it would affect them emotionally & psychologically

Sorry brah but you are stuck with two irresponsible women. I don't envy you!