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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? (68648 Views)
My Wife Spat On My Face This Morning, What Should I Do? / Wife Asks Our Son To Beat Me Up Anytime We Quarrel —pastor Tells Court / Re; My Wife Fought With My Mum Following A Quarrel. My Own Opinion. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by ashatoda: 8:55am On Mar 28, 2015 |
Whatever is said here, the onus still lies with u. Ur wife made a mistake to fight ur mum, but from d underlying ur mum knw wat she wanted b4 den. She had decided dat she wuld teach ur wife a lesson as d saying goes which necessitate her slapping ur wife under little provocation. Wat u shld simply do is to make sure ur wife apologise to ur mum, and in clear terms without mincing words tell ur wife neva to disrespect ur mum again or else u wil reciprocate. For ur family, u must make dem realise there is a boundary btw ur own family and xtended family. U are d 1 who found dis woman and decided to settle down wit her, there4 separatn or wateva lies btw both of u. Its ur decision to make. Moreso, separatin because of ur xtended family seems as if u dnt knw wat u re doing. If there will be separatn let it be sumtn else. 1 Like |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by jplay(m): 8:56am On Mar 28, 2015 |
aflyingbird: GBAM 1 Like |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by holluwai(m): 8:57am On Mar 28, 2015 |
I would hate to find myself in this situation because I might end up making some crazy decisions but all the same blood is thicker than water. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Dragonking: 8:57am On Mar 28, 2015 |
aflyingbird: Even the weakest person can throw a slap or two. The wife would have been better off if she controlled her anger. Also, if she has a son and two grand children how old do you think she would be? My advice to you is to avoid such physical show of power with your MIL whether you are in Nigeria or anywhere else in the world. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by lonelydora: 8:58am On Mar 28, 2015 |
cococandy: They thought MIL would give her the beating of her life. If I happened to be the Op, slapping my wife in front of those ladies will make me go gaga. I think it's a planned deal. Wife is 100% correct by slapping back. We all have a pride to a protect. 5 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by haul: 8:59am On Mar 28, 2015 |
JeffreyJamez:Damn! Your dad walk this lane and you also have the mantle now. Oga I pity your ass. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by MadCow1: 8:59am On Mar 28, 2015 |
TheFilmmaker: I may never slap my mother but if my mother puts herself in a position to get slapped then she has it coming. Remember that it was his mother that acted above her authority to slap his wife. If your mother in law comes into your house making demands that you refuse her and she proceeds to slap you, I doubt you would be saying all this. The case here remains that the mother slapped his wife because she refused her taking pictures of her baby without her consent and as far as I am concerned everything else that transpired after the slap are all secondary. 9 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by justwise(m): 8:59am On Mar 28, 2015 |
TheFilmmaker: What do you call hypocrisy here? Supporting the mother for slapping the wife and not the other way wrong? I'm not married as well but when i do and my mum for whatever reasons comes into my house and does that? She will be the one to leave and not my wife. Yes my wife should have controlled her anger but i will not kick her out because she defended herself. She can apologise to my mum later but i will not blame her for standing her ground. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by stonecoldcafe: 9:00am On Mar 28, 2015 |
kingmassa:@perfectionist Yes i will deny my own mother and she is smart enough not to attempt to slap me. I will say ''no mama, this is ours but i promise to reprint it for you. we are still receiving visitors and i show them this one. I WONT GIVE MY OWN MAMA, if na me be woman. oya go bite my head nah! So op your mother was very wrong there. It is not her husband's house; it is another woman's house! In any case, your wife should apologize for peace sake and learn how to respect herself. Fighting in public and with your MIL is just a no no. I also agree with you that devil want to break this young man's home. i pity men who allow family members drive out their wife. it is a very very bad thing and its only a weak man that allows it. when they send your wife away, they will go and enjoy their own home. i know an uncle that allowed his sisters do this. wife nor born, woman never born. they drove her. till date this man never got another woman to stay with him for longer than 4 years and guess what? He didn't go ahead to have his own kids with any of these women. Today he (over 60) lives in a big house all alone with his cat fish pond. OP be very very careful! 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by lonelydora: 9:00am On Mar 28, 2015 |
perfectionist: And you are listening to that crap. It's like you are a Mummy pet. 2 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Thunder04(m): 9:00am On Mar 28, 2015 |
dazangel11:Waoh i dnt no we still hv sensible nd unbias lady's arround u are one of d millions. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:00am On Mar 28, 2015 |
It will take the grace of God for your mom to forgive your wife..if it was only your mom that came visiting and all this happened I am sure it would have being easy but with a friend nd sister..that is shameful and an injury that won't heal easily. Your mom is not meant to ask for those pictures,cause I believe you should have printed her own copies and sent it to her and even if she had requested for it why will your wife make a big deal about it,to the extent of raising her hands to hit your mom..that is bad The deeds has been done,now it's how to clean up the mess Don't run to your mum begging her..no no no that won't be okay as the injury is still fresh. Tell your wife to call and report herself to your mum's elder ones if she has or elders that can plead on her behalf Call a religious head to plead on her behalf. If your mum is a christian let your wife locate her church and speak to her pastor to plead on her behalf Let her beg the witnesses to forgive her and join her in the crusade of appealing to her MIL Let her call her people to also plead on her behalf And put the matter in prayers cause it is only God that can ease the pain No matter how we try to justify the matter blood is thicker than water Nd I hope her apologies will be sincere 1 Like |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Juzzybabe(f): 9:02am On Mar 28, 2015 |
Sorry dear,this is indeed a tough situation. Truth be told,mothers are our jewels but your wife is your treasure. Am sorry to say but I sensed your mum came with the intention of raising a fight and its like your wife had already plan Neva to tolerate again. Some of us are really seeing hell in the hands of our MIL but nevertheless your wife shudnt have retaliated. No matter what,she shouldn't have revenge the slap. All the same,the deed is done,wait for tension to kool and take your wife to your mum first and beg her for mercy then to the rest of the family. I hope they accept but if they don't,your wife remains dear,u can't throw her out. No! Who knows this fight might just be a reason for lasting peace bond between MIL and DIL. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by boxypane(m): 9:02am On Mar 28, 2015 |
My Advice: talk to sumone in d family that your mother respects well. All will be well. Your wife should Learn how to control herself. Its not all given circumstances that all hell shuld let loose. She will have to apologise. N.B. U stil d man, always remember dat. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by TheFilmmaker: 9:03am On Mar 28, 2015 |
MadCow1: My wife's mother will never slap me. never. They are her grand children and she deserves to be proud of them. And if she does, I will send her daughter packing and will be the one begging my mom not to visit her and finish her off (I mean the mother) If your wife's mother visits you and demands a few of your children's picture (to brag about with her friends, I suppose) and you decline (why you would in the first place gives me shudders already, unless you believe in spiritism) and she SLAPS you (I doubt that sha) What would you do? |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Misogynist2014(m): 9:03am On Mar 28, 2015 |
Only women fight silly. So self-respect or maturity. SMH. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by stonecoldcafe: 9:04am On Mar 28, 2015 |
exthar87: Women don suffer nor be small. Rubbish! 7 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by fejikudz(m): 9:04am On Mar 28, 2015 |
aflyingbird:ohh, no respectable elder ( man or woman ) will lay their hands on another person?? Would she have fought her own mom if she slapped her for any reason?? |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:05am On Mar 28, 2015 |
both of them had unsettled issues , the MIL was obviously angrier . BTW , keep ur sorryass advice to urself. i'll be blessed with a respectable MIL who won't go around hitting pple n definitely not in their homes , u can get arrested for dat sort of thing , doesn't matter how old you are . control your anger n keep ur hands to urrself . as the " elderly " she should've known better , but like the op said , they had issues from the jump Dragonking: 3 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:05am On Mar 28, 2015 |
julietchic: Nne i want to be like you when I grow up. I am way too troublesome forc that bullshiite. I have very bad way of disposing dirty laundry water. LET THE WAR BEGIN! SINCE SHE US NOW MY HUSBAND SECOND WIFE. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by BekeeBuAgbara: 9:05am On Mar 28, 2015 |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:05am On Mar 28, 2015 |
This is what i was saying in a thread. If a man CANNOT create and maintain boundaries between his wife and mother, issues like this will occur. Op, as the head you have failed woefully!! How did you allow such animosity to fester for sooo long and to this extent? Come on!! Who comes to someone's home to slap the person? Who? It was your mother's intention to look for trouble!! Your mother started it all by slapping your wife! WHY Because of mere pics! PICS!! Something she could have asked you peacefully without chaos! She choose to disrespect herself infront of her people she brought there by instigating a fight. She is not elderly afterall for her to have the strength to act as an agbero right in front of people. Its shameful!! A MIL!! What sort of elderly woman who is to act with wisdom starts a fight like an agbero? what gives her the right to slap another woman? the retaliation she got from your wife should be expected because your wife is human. She shouldnt be surprised.You dnt go asking for respect from a DIL by acting disrespectfully. Your mother fvcked up as an elderly woman!! An elderly woman isnt meant to act in such a manner!!! RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT. Like others have said, Speak with your mother when she is calm and after your wife has apologised to her for peace sake. and let her know that she has no right telling you who to choose. YOU ARE A MAN!! ACT LIKE ONE!! Your wife MUST apolgise to your mother because she is also wrong. and your mother MUST forgive your wife. WHY?? Because you cannot take sides!! You cannot leave one for the other. Any man who regards his mother more than his wife should not have gotten married. He should have married his mother!! This is your home and your family and NO ONE has any right to tell you how to run it. TOO MANY WUSSIES AND SISSIES IN THIS THREAD making about mothers being after God. If you so worship your mothers, you all should not bother getting married. Its peeps y'all that create animosity even when there is none between MILs and DILS by making such statements and rules!! MEN learn to create and maintain boundaries in your homes!! y'all have big roles to play in MIL- DIL relationships. ACT LIKE THE MEN THAT YOU ARE BIKO!!! 8 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by hotice01: 9:08am On Mar 28, 2015 |
I'm going to be very sincere with no emotional sentiments or been bias. From the narration u gave I need to outline certain things to you before I give you my advice. 1.Your mom came to visit with her 'sister' and a friend(backup). 2.Your was jovial and friendly with your wife in your presence(Pretence) 3.Your wife called you to come home(she needed backup and the tension was building) 4.Your mom slapped your wife over mare pictures she could easily have gotten from you. 5.Your wife shouldn't have engaged your mom in a fight no matter the provocation, but then again her temperament got the better part of her. 6.what part did the so called 'witnesses' play in settling the fight? 7.what reason did your wife give for denying your mom the pictures? My submission... You need to call each party personality and talk to them. 1.what does your mom have against your wife? 2.what has your wife done to appease your wife? 3.what has your family done to settle the dispute before it escalated. 4.what does your wife have against your mom. This is a very sensitive issue but I think the hatred your mom has for your wife is what is getting the better part of her. Your wife owes your mom&family an unreserved apology. some mothers feel jealous&threaten by their daughter's inlaws,feeling that the love of their son is been diverted.you need to talk to your mom that if she loves you,she should learn to movie your wife&your wife should learn to tolerate your mom. Do not breakup your marriage because of your mom.marriage is for better or worse.your mom has enjoyed her family, she should allow you enjoy yours.how would she feel if she is slapped in her matrimonial home. If not for anything,for the sake of your children,don't send your wife packing.your family is been understandably sentimental,but your immediate family should come first. If your mom refuse to dialog and refuse every form of appeasement,you have no choice than to stick with your wife.If your wife refuse to apologise and love your mom,then you deal with her as you see fit. you are now one with your wife,what God has joined together,let NO MAN(mom or family) put assunder. Note- I LOVE MY MOM SO MUCH,but I will not stand for what is unjust based on sentiments. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:09am On Mar 28, 2015 |
[quote author=xdos post=32084810]The truth... What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. No matter how good a MIL is or a DIL is, they cannot live together. One thing I have discovered is, women are territorial in nature. For me.. My mum will leave my house that minute. She has no right whatsoever to touch my wife or ask me to send her packing. What is she trying to do? run my house for me?.. She is more like trying to tell you that you are not man enough... Your mum's authority ends in her husband's house. After she must have left my house, I'll now talk to my wife... I'll rebuke her for fighting with an elderly woman.. For her to fight with my mum is purely lack of respect for me... She would have simply gone to her room and wait for me to come back and handle the issue myself. I wont send her packing becos my mum said so.. I wont rebuke her in my mum's presence... In all.. Wisdom is profitable to direct![/quote # gbam # |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by iiichidodo: 9:09am On Mar 28, 2015 |
MadCow1:Yeah,whatever.Instead of fhucking our mother for offsprings we will go one futher and better to laying our lives for our mothers.A shame you suffered so much abuse sexua.l and physical from your mother that you wouldn't hesistate throwing her under the speeding bus. The Op is a man and will teach his wife some lesson for drawing blood (whether consciously or subconsciously) from his mother, if not now but later maybe in some domestic battering in the near future therefore tis best we preempt that by giving him the power to act right, act strong and send her away.That some babies have the misfortune to be motherless don't mean op throws away his bond with his mother because of some female brawler and some those here who also hate there mother in laws... 6 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Raymie(m): 9:11am On Mar 28, 2015 |
Film maker and the ichidodo person, stop being emotional here. Let's look at this as an issue between two human beings of same gender having similar cognitive reasonings. Now if you were told that two unrelated tenants of yours had the same issue, how will you resolve the situation? I believe with less bias and more logic. Because your boss pays your salary and for now is practically responsible for your survival, would you allow him order your dependants around when he comes to visit? It's natural to be sentimental in issues like OP's but we have to realise that sentiments have hardly led to good judgements. Sound logical analysis almost always had. That's what differentiates a man from a woman, and a man from a boy. 8 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:11am On Mar 28, 2015 |
she wouldn't have fought her mother . but if anyone else puts their hands on u , not that it's right u'll be inclined to defend urself fejikudz: |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Nobody: 9:11am On Mar 28, 2015 |
Your Mum had no right to slap your wife. Whatever the matter, she could have waited for you to come back and report her misdeeds. Your wife and mum have something against each other. Get to the root ans don't be partial. Mums always misuse their privilege as we take them as gods and they are masters of manipulation like wives. You have two stubborn women in your life. Above all, don't let your mum mess up your marriage. Keep your mum and wife far apart. Don't think apologies will solve the problem. They both crossed a line of no return. They will never get along. Never hold back on taking care of your mother. Give her all she wants if you can afford it but never compromise on your marriage for her. Take good care of your wife and let her learn humility and respect but respect her first. Obviously your mum gave her no respect. Probably because you don't regard your wife before her or because of jealousy if you do Or because your wife lacks respect. Don't let your mum ruin your life. Be careful. Your wife has the right to refuse her a picture of her son though. Its hers aftwrall. 3 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by TheFilmmaker: 9:11am On Mar 28, 2015 |
itsMrIke: Perfect response. And people thought I was just clamouring for the husband to send the wife away because of his mother. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by Dragonking: 9:12am On Mar 28, 2015 |
aflyingbird: So if the elderly MIL slapped you you see it right to hit back? smh. Why not report the issue to the husband and let him deal with her in his own way instead of complicating issues. Now she will be begging every tom, dick and harry in law just to get their forgiveness. Which one would have been better? BTW the advice wasn't meant for you but other ladies willing to learn as you are already showing your attitudes little by little here. If you like go and show your MIL that you have power more than her by beating her to comma. That one na your headache. |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by JeffreyJamez(m): 9:12am On Mar 28, 2015 |
haul: My mum knows where I stand on issues like this... besides she respects herself... she even keeps saying it, that if we her kids get married and she misbehaves, we shouldn't hesitate to give her the boot... if MIl respect themselves, DIL will return such respect... it is simple logic..... Oh and my Dad is doing Just fine........ you never know the kind papa wey I get lol... and from the genesis of the whole mattter I support his stand.... even some of his siblings that took mama in, got to know her true colour. 3 Likes |
Re: Pls Help!! My Wife Fought With My Mother Following A Quarrel. What Should I Do? by NmaGOD44(f): 9:13am On Mar 28, 2015 |
TheFilmmaker:what a stupid and silly advice....u think we are still in the dark age......keep deceiving urself 5 Likes |
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