aflyingbird:
i'm not married , now go away jor

itsMrIke:


'I guess she chose not to listen'...
You seem so lackadaisical about the whole thing. So you have warned your wife to avoid such situations, you know there is no love lost between them and you still thought it wise to leave them alone?

I blame you. I blame your wife and I blame your mum a little.

Slapping your mother was completely wrong on the part of your wife, unless she would tell me that she slaps her own mother in retaliation too.

You didn't even mention if and how you have reprimanded your wife for what she did. You seem not concerned with how grave her actions were. You are even dissociating yourself from the abomination claim. You try well well. Continue letting your wife think she is Tatiana Ali, well done!!

Oga, my suggestion is going to be harsh. You must 'handle' your wife. Get me right. Your mum will find it hard to forgive her, unless she knows/thinks you have punished your wife in some way. So my advice is that you ask your wife to go to her parents for a while, let her parents know what she did and have them beg on her behalf. She should remain there while you invite you mum to spend the weekend with you and the kid/s. Use the alone time to beg your mum. Invite ur in-laws to meet and beg her in your place. The you can invite your wife to come and reconcile with her there.

Don't take your wife to you mother's house, I use God name take beg you!!! With what women do these days in anger!!

I wish you good luck!!!

TheFilmmaker:


I'm sorry for you OP. There is no woman on earth that will slap my mother and go scot free.

What am I even saying? I trust my momma like fire. She would have probably maimed her before I return.

But I understand that not all women are hot blooded and hot tempered like mine Howerver, what your wife did was uncalled for. What a travesty! This is your chance to prove you are the owner of the house. Send the hot blooded woman packing! Nollywood corruption.

If you don't teach sense into her now, it will happen again. and ultimately it will descend to the point where your kids will not be allowed to visit your mom or even touch or talk to her. Whatever you do, be sturdy about it. Send her packing, back to her parents. Her parents should tender an apology. Ask your hot blooded wife how she will feel if you land 3 hot slaps on the eldest member of her family or either of her parents.

Hypocritical short thinking people everywhere. By the way, this story looks perfect for a [b]Nollywood script.

Cc: Safari29

PS: If this happened during the middle ages, the OP would have been ordered to gut his wife.

TheFilmmaker:


I'm sorry for you OP. There is no woman on earth that will slap my mother and go scot free.

What am I even saying? I trust my momma like fire. She would have probably maimed her before I return.

But I understand that not all women are hot blooded and hot tempered like mine Howerver, what your wife did was uncalled for. What a travesty! This is your chance to prove you are the owner of the house. Send the hot blooded woman packing! Nollywood corruption.

If you don't teach sense into her now, it will happen again. and ultimately it will descend to the point where your kids will not be allowed to visit your mom or even touch or talk to her. Whatever you do, be sturdy about it. Send her packing, back to her parents. Her parents should tender an apology. Ask your hot blooded wife how she will feel if you land 3 hot slaps on the eldest member of her family or either of her parents.

Hypocritical short thinking people everywhere. By the way, this story looks perfect for a Nollywood script.

Cc: Safari29

PS: If this happened during the middle ages, the OP would have been ordered to gut his wife.

Rotiix:
I just imagine what could have warranted your wife to leave scratches on your mum out of a brawl, you still have a dad? I wonder how your relatives will feel. Btw, did u meet your mannerless wife in a club or something. Its a pity when men trivialize the importance of the woman who brought and raised them up all in the name of pleasing their non-tolerant wives!

TheFilmmaker:

Also remember to ask her how she would feel if she was denied pictures of her grandchildren.
Also teach her not to run her mouth like a sloth.

Tshaphilo:
I believe she has been given advise by friends before now. but if her mum had slapped her would she have retaliated? Now as a mum myself. I would advice that you take the kids to stay with your mum and let your wife go on holidays. If your mum can't bear the hassles of taking care of kids n your realizes the value of a husband both would come to their senses n when she goes to apologize peace would reign. But put this behind you she has no regards for you.

ireneidiva:

The mother that slapped her is not mannerless abi? Do you know if the wife fought in self-defence

JeffreyJamez:


Agreed she shouldn't have retaliated, but take note that different people have different temperament...the OP's house is his wife's Territory...it's her domain, you can't go to a married woman's house and abuse her na irrespective of whatever you are to the husband.... it's not done!!

The OPs wife might be a tempramental person, doesn't take shii from anyone (like my mum)....and to think she was slapped in the presence of visitors fa!!.... no na!!.. haba!.. MIL went too far...... there are some wives who'll still kiss Mama's feet after the slap cos they don't want trouble.

MadCow1:


Me?

Suffered abuse?

From my mother?

Or whose mother abused me?




Nah hommie.. My mother was the ultimate in women. Nobody comes close. A Lioness towards her kids, an eagle towards her husband. I grew up in the perfect home. Never once saw my father hit my mother, only once did I ever witness my father take sides with a Pastor against his wife and he saw the end result, made his peace with his wife and it has never repeated itself till tomorrow. My parents are the ideal model for what a good and sound marriage should be.

That said; My mother also taught me the importance of a wife to a man. She always taught me to treat my wife the same way I saw my father treat her. Though we are close, she knows that my wife comes first. My mother taught me to never place anybody including her above my wife. My mother taught me to love and cover my wife jealously like a mother would her child. My mother also taught me not to hit my wife.

Now if you are a mummy's boy, please be that as I am also a mummy's boy. But if you can't tell that your wife comes before your mother, then you may want to go ask your mother if her husband (your father) was her twin brother that she married.

Dragonking:


One day you will get married and then you will have the opportunity to show your power to your MIL and husband.

Rotiix:

Can the wife fight her own mother in self defence? I'm sure a morally upright lady won't. Why couldn't she see the MIL as her own mother, which is actually how it suppose to be!

Shollypopzz:
@op: Why do you think your wife refused your mother those pictures? Did she tell you why?

Does your wife believe in 'jaz'? Does she believe that your family dabbles in 'jaz'?

MadCow1:

[s]
Me?

Suffered abuse?

From my mother?

Or whose mother abused me?




Nah hommie.. My mother was the ultimate in women. Nobody comes close. A Lioness towards her kids, an eagle towards her husband. I grew up in the perfect home. Never once saw my father hit my mother, only once did I ever witness my father take sides with a Pastor against his wife and he saw the end result, made his peace with his wife and it has never repeated itself till tomorrow. My parents are the ideal model for what a good and sound marriage should be.

That said; My mother also taught me the importance of a wife to a man. She always taught me to treat my wife the same way I saw my father treat her. Though we are close, she knows that my wife comes first. My mother taught me to never place anybody including her above my wife. My mother taught me to love and cover my wife jealously like a mother would her child. My mother also taught me not to hit my wife.

Now if you are a mummy's boy, please be that as I am also a mummy's boy. But if you can't tell that your wife comes before your mother, then you may want to go ask your mother if her husband (your father) was her twin brother that she married. [/s]

anitank:
Mother in-laws can be very wicked and controlling. As far as I'm concerned your wife can't be blamed at all, she must have been pushed too hard she couldn't take it any longer. What did your mother come to your house with her sister and friend to do? They came to start a fight! And they patiently waited for you to leave the house to initiate one. I'm glad she was strong enough to show them who the boss was

If your wife didn't respect you or your mother, she wouldn't have called you before the fight escalated, my opinion. Mother in-laws should learn to stop sticking their noses where they don't belong, not every wife cares about tradition.

If your mother cannot love and respect your wife after she's had two of her grandchildren, then she shouldn't expect same from her. She can't keep playing the perfect wife forever

lonelydora:


They thought MIL would give her the beating of her life. If I happened to be the Op, slapping my wife in front of those ladies will make me go gaga. I think it's a planned deal. Wife is 100% correct by slapping back. We all have a pride to a protect.

MadCow1:



My take..

First and foremost Sir, you are a married man and your loyalty is to your wife and kids not your mother. This is the harsh and hard truth.

Secondly your mother has the least right when it comes to making demands in your matrimonial home. The mother of the baby refused to give her pictures of the baby and she has every right to do so because she is the mother. Remember that your mother's beef with your wife stems primarily from the fact that she is your mother so technically she is being served with her own medicine. The photographs are of your child and if your mother wanted any of them, she should have asked your wife or your permission first, not to proceed to take it without her consent.

And the fact that your mother threw the first slap is even most shocking to me. Some wives would have laid her out with one blow. Your wife has every right to protect herself in her house from anybody including you. Let me make it clear; The intruder here is your mum, the person who instigated the fight is your mum, the person who threw the first blow is your mum, the person who had the right to give out photos of the baby is your wife and if your mum got scratched in the process it was as a result of your mother's failure to act with maturity. She could have waited for your return to ask for the photos but rather she took it upon herself to assault your wife and got what she had coming.

Finally, if all efforts to genuinely broker peace fails, then in the interest of your immediate family, keep your mother in her home and keep your wife in hers. Nothing says they must be friends. But in all, your primary interest should be towards your wife not your mother.

perfectionist:
Nairalanders, I'm in a quagmire! About one week ago, my mother came to visit my family with her sister and a friend. After the preliminary greetings and felicitations, I proceeded to take leave of my guests in order to go and service my car, leaving them in the hands of my wife after having provided some refreshments for them.
Now, my wife and mother have no love lost between them and barely get along but the joviality they displayed together in my presence combined with the fact that my mother's sister and friend were also around made me to believe all will be well and nothing will go wrong.
No sooner had I left home than I received a frantic call from my wife to return quickly that all hell had broken loose.
Upon getting home, I found my mother and my wife on the 3-seater going at each other with both wailing. I managed to separate them and proceeded to find the cause of the fight. I was told by the two onlookers (mother's sister and a friend) that my wife prevented my mother from taking some photos of the child dedication we did a few weeks back from the photo album. This incensed my mother and led to my wife being slapped following which all hell was broken loose. My mother even sustained a deep scratch on her face.
Now, my family members have insisted that my wife must leave the house for committing this abomination (their words, not mine). Indeed, my mother has told me in no uncertain terms that mother and son relationship has ended as long as my wife continues to remain in the house.
I love my wife and has two young children with her but this whole issue has complicated things.
What should I do? Your candid advice and suggestions will be appreciated.