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My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Naijasinglegirl: 9:20am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Warning: This post is long but an interesting read all the same. As at last year, my relaxed hair was bra length long. My routine was pretty easy. I had a relaxer every 3 months, I washed my hair once in 3 months, never deep-conditioned, used soulmate hair cream and my signature style was a bun. Days I wore my hair out, I was the object of admiration. Everyone wanted to know my 'secret formula' on why it was bouncy, long and fine textured. It all started when I stumbled on some flattering photos of girls rocking their natural hair on Instagram. I was blown away. Please note the first time I ever had a relaxer in my life was the year before I got into the university. Before then, I grew my natural hair four times (past shoulder length at one point) but my parents always had me cut my hair for one reason or the other. My mom was my personal stylist. On days she took me to the salon, people never believed my hair was fully natural. In essence, my natural hair texture was soft, wavy-patterned and very manageable. So you see, it was only natural I assumed if I cut my relaxed hair and join TeamNatural (no pun intended), my hair was still going to look amazing. During my transition period, those who knew me in reality begged me not to cut my hair so I was confused. Some days, i told people I was only stretching my relaxer while I told others I was transitioning. During this period, my hair experienced massive breakage and if there's is one thing I can't stand, it's unhealthy hair! I was combing my hair one evening when I suddenly grabbed a scissors and instructed my sister to cut off my 5months post relaxed hair. She thought I was joking until I ran the scissors from my forehead to my nape. That was the beginning of my natural hair journey. My friend in diaspora told me so long ori (shea butter) was still in abundance in Lagos and water was free, my hair was going to be just fine. I went to bed after my big chop and when I woke up the next morning, not only was a combination of shrunken natural hair with early morning face an eyesore, my hair was dry, hard and brittle. Same thing happened every other night. Experts online said it was because I was not sleeping with a satin scarf. The day I tied a scarf, my hair was dry as usual in the morning and I found the scarf under the bed when I was sweeping. I never woke up to find the scarf on my head no matter how tight I tied it. On the other hand, those satin caps that makes one look like a prophetess are rare to find. Each time I enter a random shop to request for it, the bush sales girl either gives me a shower cap, a lacy net, a hair net or she just stares at me like I asked for snow. Day time is no different, once the water I spray on my hair dries, the hair revolts by becoming 10 times drier. AC-rooms are currently off limits for me. As for my cheap wigs aka protective styles, it wasn't long before they began deteriorating... I resorted to braids. The first time I went to braid my hair. I tied a scarf while I negotiated with the hair dresser. When we eventually agreed on N4000 for tiny braids, I gave her the money to help me buy attachments while I watched her baby. As soon as she left, I took off the scarf and ran my fingers through my hair. Good Lord! Honestly, if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't touch my hair with a 9 foot pole. The hair was so dry that I was certain it needed drones to braid my hair. I had to steal water from her baby's feeding bottle to soften my hair. As usual, my hair got worse as soon as the moisture evaporated even after I sealed it with stolen pear's baby's oil. When the woman returned to see me without my scarf, she stood by the door and said if that's the thing I expect her to dig her hands, she won't collect anything less than N5000 even if I were her sister. I'm not even going to mention the unbearable pain I felt each time she parted and tugged my hair. I had to beg her to forget I asked for tiny braids and make big braids. (I'm sure naturals reading this are mad I'm not using the word 'install'. Sorry!) Talk about INSTALLING braids, they no longer come out as neatly as they used to be when I was retouched. My braids currently defies gravity, making it look like I have horns and the only way to counter this is to pack them into a bun all the time. (How do I fix this?) Once, I tried that thing they call bantu knots and by the next morning, my hair was looking like rat ate some portion with patches everywhere. My hair has simply refused to look anything like the photos I see on Instagram. And when natural hair girls talk about twistouts, fingercolling etc. I'm just in my seat like What are these ones saying. I don't even know if my hair is type3, type2, type1 or A4. All I know is my natural hair is type-comb-breaking. To worsen matters, I can't afford all these fancy products other girls are putting in their hair. Except, Ecostyler: I applied ecostyler gel on my way out one afternoon and as I walked past a shop with mirrored doors, no one told me to run back home to wear my wig. My hair frizzled, dried and tangled badly when I was washed out the gel. Edge Control: I've never been able to achieve that perfect instagram hairline. Each time I apply edge control, my hairline automatically turns white making it look like I applied an excess of sure deodorant on my forehead. D&L Leave in: Excellent detangler for a natural on a budget. It feels great and alters my hair texture for one hour or so. After this, my hair gets very dry except I keep applying. Organic Mayonnaise: Honestly, I don't know what this thing does for me though I use it every month. I just added it to my collection so my products won't appear scanty. It was cheap too. LoL Virgin Olive Oil: I used to have one among the crew but it finished recently. My pastor gave it to me during crossover service in church and despite the fact that it was anointed, my hair was still dry! Coconut Oil: Homemade. My family is starved of coconut rice because of my hair. This is where all the coconuts we buy ends up. Water: All thanks to water, I've rocked my natural hair out from my house to VI which is quite a distance. I stored it in a smaller bottle where I sprayed subtly at Gbagdaba and at CMS when the traffic lasted too long. I also sprayed it at my host's office when he went out briefly. Water is great but the terrible itch that comes with it is not beans oh. My scalp is dandruff prone which makes it very sensitive to water especially when I am wearing braids. Once, I had to excuse my date at silverbird cinema so I could take off my wig and scratch my head peacefully in the toilet. I no longer use water since I got the leave-in. ORI: This is the only product that works perfectly for my hair. It just had to be local ori of all things! The cheapest hair product! Na wa o. Does this mean my hair is ajepako? Have I also mentioned my hair grows like that of Jimmy Neutron of cartoon network, making it look like I have three heads because my bigchop was not properly done. Now I keep doing minichops weekly and microminichops daily. I even have a tiny handy scissor in my wallet to rid myself of straying hair strands. Talk about home remedies to make my hair more instagrammable. What has this hair not eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner from groceries to junk food? I have mixed ori with egg white and milk. I have mixed hot ori with coconut oil and olive oil. Do you know a mixture of these 3 is equal to castor oil? I have mixed coconut oil with coconut milk. I also get tempted to beat an egg on my head in anger whenever I open the fridge. A popular natural hair blogger rinsed her hair with beer and when a commenter asked if malt was fine, she said yes. That's how this hair drank Guinness Malt for dinner that day. I even mixed mine with peak milk. Very soon the hair will say it wants Orijin. The other day someone said my hair was smelling like salad. This was due to the amount of fresh mayonnaise I used as conditioner. I have also used the juice from ugwu leaves to rinse this hair. (Vitamins treatment) I did the famous sugar solution rinse. God blinded soldier ants to my hair that night. It's left for me to rinse my hair with maggi water or chicken stock. That's protein treatment right? My mom is having her last laugh cos she was against me cutting the hair. Been asking her how she managed my hair when I was much younger but she has refused to bulge although I'm still on the lookout for the famous cocosheen of the 90's I'm definitely going to return to TeamRelaxed but that will be when my hair is long enough to pack into a bun. In the interim, how can I make this hair more 'manageable and instagrammable? Please don't mention any expensive product. I'm currently waiting for the price of bentonite clay, cantu and custard to drop so I can buy them. One of the reasons I went natural was to save money now the reverse is the case. I'm considering a texturiser. Is it advisable or is what I'm going through just a phase every natural girl passes through? 107 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Naijasinglegirl: 9:22am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Sorry I don't know how to attach photos between paragraphs on Nairaland. Complete post is at http://www.naijasinglegirl.com 6 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Nobody: 9:29am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Lol! I've seen that Bantu hair on you. |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Allureoftheseas(m): 9:30am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Hmm 1 Like |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by kellyJames5(m): 9:35am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Lol! Let me help with custard; Big bucket(divine dish)-#500 Small one-------------------#120 Its Cheap enough! 1 Like |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Atk01(f): 9:44am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Lool @ your hair will soon drink Orijin. Why don't you try straightening your hair once in a while with electric hair straightner, that will help to keep it down. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Fabdedon(m): 9:47am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Barb it 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by ginawest(f): 9:50am On Apr 02, 2015 |
dis gal z so funny....especially d part where u gave it hair malt n milk.. well,use Igbo(dat leafy stuff dat pipu smoke)....it works very very well buh b very careful wen buying it o. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by dynamicbuzz(f): 10:04am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Just relax the hair, everyone should do what makes them happy. My hair is not relaxed though, barbed mine as at 10 months ago and i love the fact i made that decision. My relaxed hair was beautiful, everyone loved it but i would pick natural hair over relaxed hair any day. That afro thing is what makes me happy. I don't have power for all those twist out, braid out, sleek edges etc things that all these team natural girls like doing. i don't spend much on products either, i just use water, damatol, gentelle conditoner and shampoo and they are cheap to buy. A friend of mine couldn't handle her own natural hair and she used baby texturizer, the hair still looks really good still. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Iolite(f): 10:30am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Go dreads, that's what I intend doing to my hair after transitioning and as for shampooing, try using African black soap AKA Ghana soap. Have u tried using glycerin and water? What about eucalyptus oil (silver bird) for the itch)? 3 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by flowjoe: 10:47am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by kristen12(f): 11:36am On Apr 02, 2015 |
NSG O°˚˚˚ . Thank God I read your post because I want to barb my relaxed hair and go natural. I really can't imagine myself going through this stress because of hair. Instead I'll barb gorimapa. 5 Likes |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Nobody: 11:56am On Apr 02, 2015 |
lemme first book space before ..... |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by corisande: 11:57am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Lol This babe too funny Lol @ hair wanting orijin 1 Like |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Cpumping(m): 11:59am On Apr 02, 2015 |
Naijasinglegirl: Lacasera n ketchup. 1 Like |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by homesteady(m): 1:12pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
lmaoooooooooooo! 1 Like |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by nanauju(f): 1:39pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
Dear OP, u didn't conduct ur research well enough to know that going natural is more expensive, time consuming and has lots of headaches attached. Forget all those pictures u see online, going natural is not for everybody 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by dechandel(f): 2:25pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
nanauju:I second your comment 2 Likes |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by pretydiva(f): 2:41pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
Lolzzz |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Nobody: 3:16pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
Put palm wine,and kolanut.. Since your hair don turn god. 7 Likes |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by TheRealAdonye(m): 3:54pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
I'm male and understand this post completely. Wow. Not at all gay. 1 Like |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by TheRealAdonye(m): 4:01pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
Naijasinglegirl: You're welcome 4 Likes |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by somcherry(f): 4:11pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
Lol |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by iamord(m): 5:36pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
Naijasinglegirl:an interesting write up u got here... biotin.. Jamaican castor oil.. Regular water intake.. 8- 9 cups would do.. And you will see your natural hair blossom once again. 1 Like |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Nobody: 5:37pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by peteruuu(m): 6:44pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
⬆ |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Nikky04(f): 6:57pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
Loool, your post is so so funny.Pele I feel for you. First thing, every ones hair is different and natural hair doesn't mean one solution will fit all. I looked through your stash and I noticed you are missing something that as a natural you should have, leave in conditioners. They help to soften your hair. Just close eye and try and get one. Cantu Shea butter is relatively cheap and the quantity is quite large. It will last you for a long while. Until one sees your natural hair, I cannot guess at the texture of your hair but from your description, your hair is thick (coarse), will most probably be a type 4 and is high porosity (meaning it cannot hold moisture very well). All these are guesses sha. And also most of the treatment which you are doing involving egg and coconut oil and milk wont really be good for your hair. They are mostly protein treatment and will make your hair hard. If your hair is thick naturally (coarse) they wont be good for you.For now I think you should stop them and concentrate on moisture treatment. Get tressemme natural, they are relatively cheap. For your oil, you can use olive oil instead of coconut oil, olive oil acts as a good leave in conditioner. And instead of spraying only water on your hair, add some olive oil to it, add some leavein conditioner like cantu and glycerin. It will better moisturise your hair and soften it. When you got to braid, try to stretch your hair out a bit, it would be easy for you and the hair dresser. Hope this helps. nB. I typed this in a hurry, forgive my typos..... 11 Likes |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by angelTI(f): 8:42pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
7 Likes |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Nobody: 9:05pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
On the contrary I find it very easy and straightforward. I wash and deep condition every two weeks, however I also deep condition anytime I feel like my hair needs it. I moisturise once in two days, smear with cantu shea butter and I seal with almond oil. And I sleep with a silk cap not a scarve. Easy peasy 4 Likes |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Nobody: 12:46am On Apr 03, 2015 |
Buhahahaha , The title of the thread got me, Reading the post too got me LOL@ stealing water from her baby's bottle Hair looking like rat ate it Going natural is a lot of work!, i had to relax my hair my hair last year, got tired of my hair looking dry and ugly! 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by ummitoagirl(f): 1:14am On Apr 03, 2015 |
You are too funny... I enjoyed this post! Pele dear... I went natural in 2006 but during my 2014 naija trip, I went back to relaxing .I relax every 4 months now & I am very happy. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Natural Hair Wants To Kill Me Before My Time by Cpumping(m): 7:31am On Apr 03, 2015 |
angelTI: Sowi na ah. Smborry cn not joke again. 1 Like |
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