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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. (25300 Views)
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How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by taryour(f): 8:34pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
I came across this and thought of sharing here cause am certain a lot will need it. Both married women and to be wives. long time ago in Ijebu-Igbo, south-west Nigeria, a girl named Jumoke got married and went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Jumoke found that she couldn’t get along with her mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Jumoke was angered by many of her mother-in-law’s habits. In addition, she criticized Jumoke constantly. Days passed, and weeks passed. Jumoke and her mother-in- law never stopped arguing and fighting. But what made the situation even worse was that, according to ancient Yoruba tradition, Jumoke had to kneel to her mother-in-law and obey her every wish. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Jumoke's poor husband great distress. Finally, Jumoke could not stand her mother-in-law’s bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it! Jumoke went to see her father’s good friend, 'Baba' who was a herbalist. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all. Baba thought for a while, and finally said, "Jumoke, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you." Jumoke said, "Yes, Baba, I will do whatever you tell me to do." Baba went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Jumoke, "You can’t use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving." "Now, in order to make sure that nobody suspects you when she dies, you must be very careful to act very friendly towards her. Don’t argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen." Jumoke was so happy. She thanked Baba and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law. Weeks and months went by, and every other day, Jumoke served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Baba had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother. After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Jumoke had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn’t had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with. The mother-in-law’s attitude toward Jumoke changed, and she began to love Jumoke like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Jumoke was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Jumoke and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Jumoke’s husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Jumoke came to see Baba and asked for his help again She said, "Baba, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She has changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her." Baba smiled and nodded his head. "Jumoke, there’s nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her." Have you realized that how you treat others is exactly how they will treat you? There is a wise Yoruba saying: ‘The person who loves others will also be loved in return.’ God might be trying to work in another person’s life through you. A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another one. Meditation: Do not let your adornment be merely outward— arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. - 1 Peter 3:3-4 We will succeed in Jesus name 22 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by Dyt(f): 8:43pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
Hehehe Yimu over n over Some MILs are very selfish If only they cld ask their sons not to marry Nice piece BTW Patience is really rewarded 10 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by bebe2(f): 8:44pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
hmmmm, tell those that were supporting the woman that fought her MIL in the last thread. some pple go into marriage like its a battle, ready to attack their in laws at the slightest provocation. 3 Likes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by Agrika: 8:59pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
This is good |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by greatgod2012(f): 9:00pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
My sister, I chose not to make any post for a while, but, 1, I can't see your thread and overlook it, and 2, the thread is too beautiful to be overlooked. Honestly, I don't know why and how people have misunderstanding with their MILs. Honestly, anyone who could not love her MIL like her own mother do not have business getting married to the son of the said mother. Walahi! But my sister, you'll need to grow a thick skin for this your thread o, because you're going to be attacked front, back and centre. That is NL for you. However, those who will take your message will also take it. As for me, that's my secret.............treating others the way I will like to be treated. May God help us all. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by taryour(f): 9:12pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
greatgod2012: I feel you jare my sisters. Lol. Longest time ma, how are you and all yours. Yes oo I know attack will come and trust me I no send. I don pass my message. Let the wise woman hear and heed to the voice of wisdom. It just pains me so much when I read ob this forum the hatred some wives have for their mother inlaws and I just think aloud ** don't they have mothers or wunt they ever become mother inlaws in future ![]() It so damn annoying. There is nothing difficult in loving and treating our mother inlaws as we would treat our own mothers. 2 Likes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by taryour(f): 9:14pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
bebe2: Yes sis very true. I keep screaming it. ** if you cannot tolerate, love and care for your mother inlaw like your own mother then please do not marry the man ** 2 Likes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by jmoore(m): 9:32pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
They will become MILs in the future. Dem no know? |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by bebe2(f): 9:33pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
taryour: simple! Tolerant is the watch word. was home a few weeks back, sat with my MIL and all of sudden she started advising me, how i shud love my husband and always ''beg'' him when i offend him and he is angry. i kept saying yes ma, yes ma, wen she finished i asked her, wat if he offends me? she paused, look at me and said, '' my son is not a trouble maker he can never offend anyone'' i fell to the ground with laughter, cudnt control myself, it was my SIL that was telling her so ur son is an angel abi? ![]() ![]() ![]() wen i got home i started gisting my frd the story but she was so angry, saying NOOOOOOO i cant tolerate dat, how can she say that to u? u shud have answered with this or that. i just stood there shocked, i thot it will be gud laugh o, after her reaction i jeje carry my bag and went home. Some ladies are crazy. 13 Likes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by mrwonlasewonie: 11:31am On Apr 03, 2015 |
Madam some people will not treat you the way you treat them. It is you that have to enforce that respect. Like yorubas will say a father cannot have a son and not have boundaries greatgod2012: 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by pickabeau1: 11:32am On Apr 03, 2015 |
A refreshing n different message to the seeming mainstream view of intolerance and disrespect you see across these boards. 1 Like |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by SAMBARRY: 11:41am On Apr 03, 2015 |
pickabeau1:o ma'n so Oyinbo ke ![]() ![]() |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by pickabeau1: 11:55am On Apr 03, 2015 |
SAMBARRY: Lol |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by coogar: 12:36pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
pickabeau1: the ones who are clamouring for intolerance & disrespect would soon get their comeuppance. what goes around comes around - all the DILs today would become MILs tomorrow & someone's daughter would disrespect them. a woman slapped her MIL & some retärds were somehow justifying the action. if her mother was placed in the same scenario, would she have slapped her own mother? sometimes, you just have to assume some of the posts you read here are typed by animals. 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by greatgod2012(f): 12:47pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
coogar: coogar........respect! Take this..... ![]() coogar: coogar........respect! Take this......... ![]() coogar: coogar........respect! Take this..... ![]() coogar: coogar........respect! |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by bennyrazz: 12:49pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
All those akata women/divorcee can keep ranting on NL over MILs. I know one thing for sure, their plans of poisoning the minds of good women here on NL and outside NL would never work. Their plans of making single ladies to have an inbuilt hatred on MILs they haven't even met will fail woefully. Just because your own marriage has failed or is failing due to your intolerant, wicked, self-centered and malicious nature does not mean others must fail or join you in your sinking ship. You haters of MILs and in laws, God is watching you cuz someday, you will be an in law. 5 Likes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by pickabeau1: 12:57pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
coogar: As in... So many angry vengeful femmes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by greatgod2012(f): 1:01pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
bennyrazz: You know what? Anybody that wants to take advice on this forum need to first ask for the spirit of discernment seriously before taking it. Sometimes when I see some advice on this platform, I feel like weeping for whoever that will out of ignorance take to such advice. Many of these advisers are so aggressive to the extent that you see their posts filled with screaming. May God give us the wisdom to know which advice/counsel to heed to and the ones to discard. Amen 3 Likes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by taryour(f): 1:04pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
coogar: Thanks o mr coogar. Its so so annoying. After I read that thread I got so angry I felt I could see that husband ant talk some real sense into his head. What an animal she has as a wife, that woman is a disgrace to humanity. How dare she raise her hands to slap her mother inlaw ![]() Even if she apologizes and reconciles with her mother inlaw thing can never go down well with them. That the height of disrespect. Am most certain that how she slaps and beats her mother up so am not surprised. A yoruba saying that ** ise ile lo n gbe ni de ita ** 2 Likes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by edwife(f): 1:12pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
greatgod2012: Sometimes when i read some posts,i ask myself if marriage has changed that much or maybe i live in a different world. ![]() ![]() Patience and tolerance has become enemies in marriage these days, and that begs some questions:why are you married?why did you choose this kind of person as your partner?Why go into a marriage knowing the MIL does not like you? 5 Likes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by coogar: 1:20pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
greatgod2012: honestly, you just have to think some of the comments are trolling attempts. pickabeau1: very bitter! taryour: the funny thing is what led to the brawl is such a simple issue. if a wife could slap someone's mother for that then i fear for today's men. |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by bennyrazz: 1:22pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
greatgod2012: Amen o. you are not far from the truth. Some advice are born out of resentment, anger and frustration. Just like you said, anyone seeking for advice here have to pray to God for a discerning spirit else what was bad before would go worse sporadically once they follow their advice. I don't do name/moniker calling but I want to use this opportunity to appeal to the conscience of these people to stop leading posters seeking for advice astray. What is your gain? or you derive happiness in the cry of others? 1 Like |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by omoseun(f): 1:23pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
The write-up is quite nice and educative. I never had any form of confrontation with my MIL, am not a saint neither is she but i try as much as possible to control my nerves any time i get offended by her. There are times when she really push me but i just remind myself that my mum can do worse things to me. I think the major problem in our society is that we tend to take advice from people who have no business giving it, and we have equally grown to being impatient. Least i forget, my MIL was present when i gave birth to my 2 children (in fact, she was in the labour room with me when i delivered my second baby). People in the hospital even though she is mother. 2 Likes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by crackhaus: 1:38pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
This is refreshing. When wisdom speaks, it does so calmly and clearly ...one only needs to agree. |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by crackhaus: 1:57pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
coogar:Lol @animals Let's cut them some slack, they were only projecting what they must have done to their own MILs and thus want every other upstanding woman to join them in towing that line, so they can be seen as the classy group of tough women who dealt with their MILs and came out victorious. Like that's something to be proud of... ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by taryour(f): 2:11pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
coogar: I tell you bro. I had to go back to read the op first post over and over again. Up to 5 times and I read the same thing. I needed to be sure it wasn't the headache I was having after long hours of driving that was making my eyes blur. Its so ridiculous that just a mare pix caused all these. I wonder what she would have done if the mother inlaw had made an attempt to take her OWN GRANDCHILD for a day or 2 days holliday with her, she would have probably set the woman ablaze. And if it was her own mother or even a friend that wanted the picture,she would give it out with no delays or given out the whole album sef. |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by taryour(f): 2:13pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
bennyrazz: Lol. If I hear. Na today? They all claim they have longer years of experience and have seen and passed tru it all. And funny enough they would never ever try such with their own mother inlaws. |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by pickabeau1: 2:17pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
taryour: I think u r wrong They have tried it and have gotten away with it and have estranged mothers in law hence its their gospel truth that they preach online. 1 Like |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by taryour(f): 2:21pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Na wa o. A lot of women should be feard oo. I just wonder what their children will grow up to believing. Most times when I read such post, am tempted to believe the stories are false or mare exaggerations. |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by pickabeau1: 2:24pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
taryour: Some are no doubt exaggerated But believe you me the consistent message of controlling men and estrangement of MIL is there to see Me and my husband alone ![]() |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by crackhaus: 2:24pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
taryour:Err, one has said she threw her MIL out before calling her husband to inform him... and then wanted an Oscar for the performance ![]() 5 Likes |
Re: How To Treat Your Mother Inlaw. by taryour(f): 2:32pm On Apr 03, 2015 |
crackhaus: Oh yes I remember correctly and I had to quote that post and asked the poster where her daughter was when she did that. |
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