babyosisi:

You are getting married n a few days?
How nice
Please send us some pictures
Even if na just the venue pics

Yeah, Thanks...
Let's hope so

MarvellousGod:
Yeah, Thanks...
Let's hope so

Congratulations dear. All the best wishes to you and your new hubby

^^^This doesn't make sense here.

Opiosko:
Very true... But i am more blessed sha.

Opiosko and Evina?
I wish u guys the best.

thorpido:
Opiosko and Evina?
I wish u guys the best.

I doubt it o!

I think Opiosko has gotten married. Think I saw a thread a while back.

bukatyne:


I doubt it o!

I think Opiosko has gotten married. Think I saw a thread a while back.

He must be joking then.

thorpido:
He must be joking then.

I am thinking he meant his wife is better than Evina

How are you and family?

bukatyne:


I am thinking he meant his wife is better than Evina

How are you and family?

Hmmm.Evina will show up to confirm.
My family is great.How's urs?Happy Easter

bukatyne:


I am thinking he meant his wife is better than Evina

How are you and family?

Why the comparison? Especially with someone unknown.

MarvellousGod:
Uw.....
Easter Tuesday

Awwww. Just three days away. God be with you and cause you to experience ALL the blessings associated with marriage.

thorpido:
He must be joking then.

I didn't quite get the message in his post. LOL.

babyosisi:

You are getting married n a few days?
How nice
Please send us some pictures
Even if na just the venue pics

LOL.

Evina:


Why the comparison? Especially with someone unknown.

He doesn't mean harm na

More like my mother is the best cook kind of thingy

thorpido:
Hmmm.Evina will show up to confirm.
My family is great.How's urs?Happy Easter

Splendid
Same to you

thorpido:
Opiosko and Evina?
I wish u guys the best.

Not at all sir

bukatyne:


He doesn't mean harm na

More like my mother is the best cook kind of thingy

LOL.

Evina:


Not at all sir

LOL.Some people just like to match-make themselves online.

thorpido:
LOL.Some people just like to match-make themselves online.

Well, like Bukatyne pointed, he may mean that he has a wife that makes him feel blessed. Although, his response has no correlation with your post. LOL.

cococandy:


Congratulations dear. All the best wishes to you and your new hubby

Thanks Darl

Evina:

Awwww. Just three days away. God be with you and cause you to experience ALL the blessings associated with marriage.

Amen.. Thank you so much

MarvellousGod:
Thanks Darl

Amen.. Thank you so much

Congrats in advance

God. Bless your home

bukatyne:


Congrats in advance

God. Bless your home

Amen.. Thank you

MarvellousGod:
Yeah, Thanks...
Let's hope so

Congrats in advance.God bless your home.

Happy easter Sunday

MarvellousGod:
Amen.. Thank you

Happy Easter to all you marriage landers
May the joy of the risen savior be with you all now and always

Amen, madam Osisi.
Wishing everyone, the blessings of the season.

Happy Easter marriage people

Pls let me know if and when you're single again


BabyO if you delete this post I will send the Oracle of the Hills and caves after you

Wahala don burst

Happy Easter you all. Me dey come looku looku here from time to time.

Happy easter to you wonderful friends and counsellors on this trend. I've being a quite follower here and i dont have a choice now than to seek for help.
I'm 23, finishd serving and working(tho underemployed). I met dz guy around july last yr tho av posted here before on how igbotic the guy is and i was adviced to just leave cos i didnt see any good in him. But honestly, he is a great guy and he has tried in every way to prove to me that he is serious about me. Due to ego, pride, non-challant attitude, av not treated him like a lover at all...I blamed him for virtually every thing and i was d one doing all the corrections in him. I'm a very lovely person especially to my friends but wen a guy comes around with dat word marriage...i tend to frustrate his love and dat attitude av made me loss 2 other great guys maybe its cos of age, i dont knw. Now am on d Virge of losing dz guy too, he threatened to quit and dat made me realise all my mistakes, my shakara was too much. I've begged him hoping that he will change his mind and i promise to be nice and lovely wen he comes back. But the help I need now is how do I express love with my heart. Though i'm a strong-minded person and cos of d harsh way i grew up, d major way to avoid intimidation was not to care about anyone else. Though dat attitude has changed but nt totally yet. Remember I knw my mistakes now, I just need help. Thank you

Chipeculiar:
Happy easter to you wonderful friends and counsellors on this trend. I've being a quite follower here and i dont have a choice now than to seek for help.
I'm 23, finishd serving and working(tho underemployed). I met dz guy around july last yr tho av posted here before on how igbotic the guy is and i was adviced to just leave cos i didnt see any good in him. But honestly, he is a great guy and he has tried in every way to prove to me that he is serious about me. Due to ego, pride, non-challant attitude, av not treated him like a lover at all...I blamed him for virtually every thing and i was d one doing all the corrections in him. I'm a very lovely person especially to my friends but wen a guy comes around with dat word marriage...i tend to frustrate his love and dat attitude av made me loss 2 other great guys maybe its cos of age, i dont knw. Now am on d Virge of losing dz guy too, he threatened to quit and dat made me realise all my mistakes, my shakara was too much. I've begged him hoping that he will change his mind and i promise to be nice and lovely wen he comes back. But the help I need now is how do I express love with my heart. Though i'm a strong-minded person and cos of d harsh way i grew up, d major way to avoid intimidation was not to care about anyone else. Though dat attitude has changed but nt totally yet. Remember I knw my mistakes now, I just need help. Thank you

open up to him, av an heart 2 heart discussion with him abt ur history... Den change buh don't force it oh

babyosisi:



The worst thing that can happen to a woman is marry a man she doesn't love passionately.
Marriage is tough especially the early years and there will be times you will feel like packing your bags and running away
Even marriages that started very well can sour over time when they are ill managed let alone one that started with a tone of uncertainty in one's voice.
From what you have written you do love this man but not enough to spend the rest of your life with him that is why you have those doubts and misgivings.

Let me use myself as an example
I was engaged to someone else before meeting my hubby,I have shared that many times
Very very handsome and romantic man
His family adored me,my folks loved him
Very kind and generous,would give his last dime to a stranger in need
Perfect gentleman
But he is a little too boisterous in nature and had some terrible table manners
Some people may say this is minor but it bothered me a lot
The last straw was at a wedding when he motioned servers a little too loudly to get us food,I was a little embarrassed,we were in a hotel and could easily go and get food.my husband will never ever do a thing like that never!!
To make matters worse when the food came,he opened the wrap of moi moi and licked the foil and I wanted the ground to swallow me ,and that was the day my spirit left the union
I couldn't marry him,I couldn't be with a man that would embarrass me.,I just couldn't take it coupled with the fact that he wanted to get into politics and I couldn't envision myself standing on a podium campaigning.

To some these were minor things,to me they were major

You said you are not compatible sexually,can you live with that all your life?
Bad kisser,can you manage that?
If you don't feel sexually attracted to this man I wouldn't advise you to continue
It won't work

When hard marital current strikes sometimes the sexual chemistry is what will take you over the hump and if it is lacking from day one,you may be swimming against the tide.
You should be madly in love at this stage if he is the one
It doesn't sound that way from what you wrote

Wow! First thing I did after reading your initial post was 'Thank God, you are not a professional marriage counselor' it would have been a one way ticket to marital hell for young ladies.

'Love passionately' - a basis for marriage. my oh my - in 2015
I have no reason to be antagonistic to you but do realize you just gave one hell of an advice

Read what EfemenaXY wrote immediately after your post, that made infinitely more sense. She should have called you to order but I guess she took the part of diplomacy and rather spelt out what was right

EfemenaXY:




Anyway, in addition to what you've just written, I'd like to add that marriage has got it's troughs and peaks. There are times you get really good highs and there are times you get really low, lows. It's not something that can be avoided as life is never plain sailing. However, what does help (apart from having that great sexual chemistry), is if you have a friend in your partner when everything else is stripped off.

Someone who understands you without your having to spell everything out to him (and vice versa). Someone you can share your aspirations, dreams, fears, worries, happiness, and so on with. Also, the longer you've been married, the easier it gets, especially when you've gone past your 10th, 15th, 20th anniversary. You just sort of "grow into each other", and at that point in time, you look back at your earlier years of marriage with fondness and marvel at how inconsequential now, many things were such a big deal to you both then.

Yes, it's never going to be a bed of roses, nor a smooth frictionless path. It's quite the opposite and akin to that proverbial garden that you've just got to keep tending to, else weeds would creep in and choke the life out of it, if neglected.

Marriage can be as hellish or as beautiful as you want it to be. You've just got to have a common goal (both parteners) and work towards achieving it.

Now this, is my Valentine's message.

Happy Valentine's to everyone.

I mean all she pointed out had nothing to do with passion or 'mad love', it had to do with consciousness and reason. Passionate love might have worked for you but consider yourself lucky. It is the number one source of agony.

A woman's emotions is the number one unreasonable sense to base decisions on. Have you heard of trauma bonding, ever heard sunk cost fallacy ? those are errors of emotion.

Let me give you a story of my sister. In her late twenties, she dated this guy who from first glance, everybody knew was a winner, handsome , easy going, quiet, came from a stable family, had a great job and loved her very much but for some funny reasons my sis didn't love him, he hung on for a while - the guy would come to our house watch football with us, got on with everybody, very intelligent, eat dinner with the family, he was just too good , then suddenly this tall basketball player (who was a player in every sense of the word) came into her life, in a jiffy she dumped the first guy and went for the new one. Everybody could sense my sis was all over the guy, she was so passionate about him but guess what within a year the relationship went down the drain, by that time Mr good guy had moved on.

There is nothing passion about this, use your head and listen to your guts (your subconscious) your heart will always deceive you.

Ask yourself, Is he a GOOD man ?
How does he treat other people ?
How does he treat you ?
How does he treat his family ?
What are his relationship with his parents like ?
Is he ambitious ?
Does he support my ambitions ?
Is he prone to cheating and violence ?

This is what I expected to hear from you ? what is sexual chemistry ?? What I expected to hear is when everything else is stripped off, is he still your friend ?
Apart from extreme cases of impotence, frigidity, quick ejaculation etc good sex can always be worked at. I can tell you that categorically.
I once asked a girl what made good sex for her and she just stared at me for a while and said -well, even before it starts, you just know you want that person. Have you ever heard the wife of a serial cheat fighting for the full attention of her husband complain about good sex ? it's 90% in the mind

Do you have any idea how easy it is for the serial player to get a woman passionately interested in him. Have you ever wondered why all this I want to marry him but I am not in love with him always ends with - the guy is a great guy, very kind and he loves me very much ?
and why stories like he beats me and cheats on me always ends with - I love him very much and I have made a lot of sacrifices for him ?
More often than not, a woman's emotions are not logical. All the girls I have dated that I wasn't really into were very crazy about me. It's just a natural phenomenon called 'push and pull'.
To end this I will say categorically - YOU DON'T NEED TO BE MADLY IN LOVE TO ENTER A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE - it's far better when you grow into each other. To borrow the words of EfemenaXY