Elxandre:

Anyways, the main reason marriages no longer last is mostly because of awareness and the feminist movement who have taught our formerly unconditionally submissive women into women who are independent and won't endure BS their grandmother endured anymore.

obowunmi:
I don't know anything about love or marriage whether arranged or otherwise. What I know is that just pray.

People these days are devils disguised in human form. Prayer is the answer, prayer is the master key. marry someone who genuinely loves God and make sure you get confirmation from God before you marry.

There's nothing more painful and sorrowful than marrying the wrong person.

I'm so afraid. The things my eyes has seen. It's crazy.

zicoraads:
Isn't it too early?

VenusBetty:
there's more to marriage, love is not enough

5minsmadness:

Let me open up a little bit here.
I've been in several relationships where I thought I was in love with the person and she loved me as well. But I usually end up discovering they are after me for the financial security they will get. Not love. They are usually in it for what I can do for them, what I can provide. And the moment I withdraw such favours their eyes start to wander.
I'm not interested in all the pretence.
I'd rather have a woman I'm readily compatible with, someone from a good family who knows what it is to be and act like a lady. Someone who won't fall instantly in love with me cos I came to pick her in a jeep. All those things are fleeting and won't last. I'd rather have a woman who respects me for me and has all the features I want in terms of a good wife and mother. I don't need to be madly in love with her, just know that she has all the good features I need.
The 'head over heels in love' thing can come after.

njuwo:
Yes, but still, it's a man's world. You can't call a she without a he in it. Things women go through, there are men in it, menstruation, menstrual pain, menstrual flow, menopause.

dicefrost:

Our grandmothers did not claim equality with their husbands, they were submissive and recognised their headship

Vickybee:

Lol, the bitter truth is that African marriage has never been better.

It's just that our grandmothers had to endure;
1) Bully and Jerk as a husband.

2) Cheaters and heartless men as a husband because of what society would tag them if they divorce and "we" women of 21st century aren't paddling with those archaic view any longer.

The world is fast evolving. Let's preach fairness and equality.
I know that a man is the head but I won't accept bullshìt from him.

LordReed:


You are underlining certain things I need you to clarify. Do you feel that "modern" woman's empowerment which gives her the opportunity to remove herself from harms way is inferior to what you outlined above? Also how does what you outlined above differ in outcome from a woman simply refusing to put up with the mess?

Elxandre:

You see what I'm saying!
Feminists have ruined our marriages and have made many single parented.

Wait... a feminist just said a man is the head.

Vickybee:

Good day, Zico.

zicoraads:
Isn't it still too early to be telling me 'good day'?

Top of the morning to you

YourCoffin:


Sacred? What is sacred about marriage?

Well I have some respect for it, that's why we should allow it to die a peaceful death...

edwife:
Yea maybe favorable for men but not for women...

Women had no say when or how they will get married,they didn't even see their suppose spouses until wedding day

njuwo:
Your name na 5minsmadness na im make you give only 5 reasons? And na when you dey run the 5 minutes madness you take write them?

Vickybee:
You forgot to type that our grandfather didn't claim it's a "man world" like the chauvinistic men of these days do.
A married man caught cheating would be disgraced likewise a married woman. No gender is spared...

It's high time what is sauce for the goose becomes sauce for the gander.

My piece!

YourCoffin:


Sacred? What is sacred about marriage?

Well I have some respect for it, that's why we should allow it to die a peaceful death...

5minsmadness:

I want to believe that you are a product of marriage. Your parents might never have had the bravery to bring you into this world is not for the assurance of this sacred institution(marriage). Have a little respect.

jamillion:
not again! Wtf did u mean by marriage's overrated? Marriage is a natural phenomenon that exist btw two opposite sex. For d dumb brains that keep chanting d slogan...get over it already.

chyzyne:
[color=#770077][/color]


True talk!
No one can play a game well without first understanding the game and its rules.

God save the marriage institution.

5minsmadness:
OK let's face it. Modern marriages seem to be breaking down left right and center. All this "marrying the love of your life" etc seems to have been over-rated. a few days ago i might have been ready to stick my neck out in defense of modern marriages but right now I am having a rethink.

We all know that our parents and grandparents marriages lasted much longer than what we see nowadays. we try to attribute it to lack of 'open-eye' by the women or unavailability of statistics but I don't believe any of that. I firmly believe our grandparents marriages lasted longer because they knew what marriage was about and had many advisers in the form of extended, older and well experienced family members to go to for help in any grey area.

The white man is good at giving a dog a bad name to hang it. They show statistics and stories and movies of how arranged marriages were so wrong and how people ended up miserable not marrying 'their one true love', they show pictures of arranged marriages looking like two unwilling people that were forced together. I don't believe all that propaganda either. Arranged marriages were better than what we have now and i'll tell you why.

1. Your parents made sure you were mature enough to get married. its not like nowadays when we see kids marrying and breaking up for the littlest of things. in those days parents and in fact the community assessed the husband-to-be to be sure he had matured physically and more especially mentally before picking a wife for him. The same went for the woman.
(****please note this post does not include/condone child marriages that take place in the north and in certain religions. those guys are on their own)

2. Your parents made sure you were ready financially for the marriage. In my place, the man would be given a piece of land to till and also a small hut to take care of his future family before considering marriage. So there was shelter and sustenance prepared already for you and your new wife.

3. Your parents did a thorough interview and investigating of the proposed in-laws before even considering approaching them. this included the type of family, whether they were hot-tempered, whether the girl could cook, whether they were known for fighting their spouses, whether the men beat their women, whether there was mental illness, convulsions, barrenness, courtesy, industriousness, etc. by the time they were through most times the family going to pick a bride or accept a groom knew what they were going in for.

4. Both marriage partners had clearly defined rules of what their duties were in the house. There was no crossing of boundaries and each of the partners knew what they were expected to do t make the marriage work, if they failed in their responsibilities for any reason, they could easily be reported to the immediate or extended family.

5. Last but not the least, they were usually not blinded by love not to see each others bad sides. Falling in love is sweet and all, but it really makes you not to see the fault in your partner until it is too late. IN arranged marriages the love came afterwards. and it was a more matured and tolerant kind of love and not the mushroom love we see nowadays that can barely stand the pressures of everyday misunderstandings.

I think it is high time we revived the practice of Arranged marriages in our society.

Sanguine:



#Smiles... And have you found that person with these features you mentioned?
By the way, what time of the day do you show your '5minsmadness?' Lol.

obowunmi:
I don't know anything about love or marriage whether arranged or otherwise. What I know is that just pray.

People these days are devils disguised in human form. Prayer is the answer, prayer is the master key. marry someone who genuinely loves God and make sure you get confirmation from God before you marry.

There's nothing more painful and sorrowful than marrying the wrong person.

I'm so afraid. The things my eyes has seen. It's crazy.

BizBloke:


I agree with the highlighted.

Beht, this arranged marriages, I no gree o. I think you [we] should match it up with the current age. Question is, 'How many arranged marriages in the 21st century have worked in comparison to the opposite?

Vickybee:

Exactly! You don't expect marriage to last with that kind of mentality

ikennaAO:


N[b]o one is a product of marriage[/b]. That's not to say the institution does not have its merits but we can survive without it.

ikennaAO:


Is this sheer nativitynaivety or do you have ulterior motive to this post?
Have you tried to investigate the cause of marriage break down?
Have you asked women whose marriage were arranged how they felt about it?
You seem to be the type that judge books by their cover. It doesn't put you in a good light.

cococandy:
Love based marriage over arranged marriage for me anyday