Hello Nairalanders,

In my place of work, I want to help one of our cleaners but I don’t know the best way to do this. What attracted me to this girl was her impeccable english. So one day, I asked her why she was doing such kind of work and a couple of other questions.
I guess that was what endeared me to her and that is how we became friends and I found out about her.

She told me how frustrating life has been for her; how her father had wished she was not alive because according to her, her parents tried on 5 occasions to abort her but it was not successful. Ever since then, growing up has not been easy. Her parents especially her dad always find fault with what she does. Her father demoralizes her personality with a lot of unkind words, even in the presence of her siblings. Although I have tried to dig deep to find out more about her past but I have found out it hurts her so I don’t delve deeper. But from what I can infer, her dad is opposed to her happiness

The issue at hand now is she wants to go to UNIILORIN but her Dad wants her go to Ambrose Ali University, Ekpoma. She has tried all she could: asking her mum to beg her dad, asking their pastor to help talk to her dad but all to no avail. She has finally made up her mind to run away since she does not feel happy staying in her home. She feels rejected. Schooling in UNIILORIN will take her far from the source of her sorrow temporary while she figures out a long term plan to be happy and be in charge of her life but it seems things are not working out.

I want to help her but I don’t have any ideas how. If she runs away where will she go? She may run into people who will take advantage of her. I have been encouraging her to keep striving to be happy but for how long, the situation seems to be getting worse. I need you advice so that we can do the needful so the lady can leave a fulfilled life. She always tells me she is not wanted but I keep inspiring her positively because I believe the rejected stone will one day become the keystone.

Cheers

There is a light after every tunnel
God will lead her tru

U can help her by marrying her..

I showear problem solved..

Make her see reasons to do her parent's wish,they obviously have reasons why they want her in that school.
She should open up to her parents and express how she feels exactly to them,beg them to forgive her for her wrong doings,try to be a good and obedient child and look up strongly to god to touch her parents heart and instill her love in their hearts.

She should go to school first, always start with whats most neccesary...

@perry, this is not about opening up, she has tried discussing the issue with her dad but her dad foes not just want to listen to anything concerning her. Her dad even tells her "I wish your younger sister were you" and statements like that.
@flautist, she wants to go to school but not to Ambrose Ali University.

let her go and get married. that will perpetually take her far away from her animalistic parents










you can marry her sef Op

Mprex:
let her go and get married. that will perpetually take her far away from her animalistic parents










you can marry her sef Op

Getting married because she wants to run away from her parents may just land her in a mess that she may not come out from, remember marriage is for life. Marriage has its own issues too.

My advice is for her to be obedient to her parents First (she won't live with them forever). But while being obedient, she should subtly and respectfully give her parents her own point of view on any matter.

Her parents may just be looking for reasons to justify why they wanted to get rid of her in the first place and any silly act by her will just give them the point.

Tell her to endure, be a good girl, never rush to be with any man cause of her present predicament, be focused on the future she wants and no matter how bad a situation she finds herself in, she should present her best to people.

One last word: When your parents give you a lemon, make a lemonade out of it.

Her father says she should attend AAU, she wants to go to unilorin,

Her father is likely to be the sponsor for her education? Why then is she meaning to be stupid?

She should calm down and go to school. She can still hit gold in AAU, near or far, what will be, may be.

How old is she and why's she working as a cleaner? Will her parents sponsor her education?

Hmmm I thought there was no one to sponsor her education.

Just that she wanted to fly away? That is no trouble at all.

Tell her to endure. That there is no one born by mistake. The almighty jah has a purpose for every one.

Do not forget to tell her or let her know that there are people out there who wished to be in her shoes. Who can do anything just to go to any higher institution at all. But got no one to train them

Richy4:
Hmmm I thought there was no one to sponsor her education.

Just that she wanted to fly away? That is no trouble at all.

Tell her to endure. That there is no one born by mistake. The almighty jah has a purpose for every one.

Do not forget to tell her or let her know that there are people out there who wished to be in her shoes. Who can do anything just to go to any higher institution at all. But got no one to train them

bros,i owe you a bottle of anything u desire. word!

aflyingbird:
How old is she and why's she working as a cleaner? Will her parents sponsor her education?

She is 21

Running away won't solve her life problems. Only make them worse. Let her go the school her father wants her to go to if Her parents will pay for her education.
Then when she's been empowered by education,she can travel as far away from them as she wishes.
Getting an education now should really be her goal now. It will solve much of her problems in future.

I dunno why but I don't believe her story. Something else is afoot.

why do u say this?

5minsmadness:
I dunno why but I don't believe her story. Something else is afoot.

imagodei:
Hello Nairalanders,

In my place of work, I want to help one of our cleaners but I don’t know the best way to do this. What attracted me to this girl was her impeccable english. So one day, I asked her why she was doing such kind of work and a couple of other questions.
I guess that was what endeared me to her and that is how we became friends and I found out about her.

She told me how frustrating life has been for her; how her father had wished she was not alive because according to her, her parents tried on 5 occasions to abort her but it was not successful. Ever since then, growing up has not been easy. Her parents especially her dad always find fault with what she does. Her father demoralizes her personality with a lot of unkind words, even in the presence of her siblings. Although I have tried to dig deep to find out more about her past but I have found out it hurts her so I don’t delve deeper. But from what I can infer, her dad is opposed to her happiness

The issue at hand now is she wants to go to UNIILORIN but her Dad wants her go to Ambrose Ali University, Ekpoma. She has tried all she could: asking her mum to beg her dad, asking their pastor to help talk to her dad but all to no avail. She has finally made up her mind to run away since she does not feel happy staying in her home. She feels rejected. Schooling in UNIILORIN will take her far from the source of her sorrow temporary while she figures out a long term plan to be happy and be in charge of her life but it seems things are not working out.

I want to help her but I don’t have any ideas how. If she runs away where will she go? She may run into people who will take advantage of her. I have been encouraging her to keep striving to be happy but for how long, the situation seems to be getting worse. I need you advice so that we can do the needful so the lady can leave a fulfilled life. She always tells me she is not wanted but I keep inspiring her positively because I believe the rejected stone will one day become the keystone.

Cheers

Cc aflyingbird

First bolded is a lie or an exaggeration. Why is she lying/exaggerating? Trying to bolster sympathy perhaps?

Second bolded. Why is the father against her? Isn't she his child? Is it possible she is not his child i.e reason they wanted to abort her in the first place? Did mom have an affair? (on further introspection, I think this is what happened. She is not that man's child.)

Next bolded. Dad is opposed to her happiness. Hmm. Am beginning to think that this man is not the father of this girl.

Finally, the choice of University. Does it really matter? It is obvious in this girl's life that her academics have not been neglected. Hence her impeccable English. To be thinking of going to university means she has finished secondary school. The parents have made good academic choices so far. And I doubt there is any University where you won't be required to spend a majority of your time within its four walls. So she is going to get some respite from her 'dad'.



Or it could all be a lie and she is looking for a way to source sympathy and finances from you. Why didn't she run away before you knew her? Guy open your eyes wide. If you are male don't start entertaining thoughts of befriending her or worse yet marrying her. That would be pity,not love.

All in all, it ain't your problem.

Follow this advice:

https://www.nairaland.com/2249992/she-feels-frustrated-wants-run#32600179

deekseen:
My advice is for her to be obedient to her parents First (she won't live with them forever). But while being obedient, she should subtly and respectfully give her parents her own point of view on any matter.

Her parents may just be looking for reasons to justify why they wanted to get rid of her in the first place and any silly act by her will just give them the point.

Tell her to endure, be a good girl, never rush to be with any man cause of her present predicament, be focused on the future she wants and no matter how bad a situation she finds herself in, she
should present her best to people.

One last word: When your parents give you a lemon, make a lemonade out of it.

Makes a lotta sense.

menix:
U can help her by marrying her..

I showear problem solved..

take this advice!

imagodei:
Hello Nairalanders,

In my place of work, I want to help one of our cleaners but I don’t know the best way to do this. What attracted me to this girl was her impeccable english. So one day, I asked her why she was doing such kind of work and a couple of other questions.
I guess that was what endeared me to her and that is how we became friends and I found out about her.

She told me how frustrating life has been for her; how her father had wished she was not alive because according to her, her parents tried on 5 occasions to abort her but it was not successful. Ever since then, growing up has not been easy. Her parents especially her dad always find fault with what she does. Her father demoralizes her personality with a lot of unkind words, even in the presence of her siblings. Although I have tried to dig deep to find out more about her past but I have found out it hurts her so I don’t delve deeper. But from what I can infer, her dad is opposed to her happiness

The issue at hand now is she wants to go to UNIILORIN but her Dad wants her go to Ambrose Ali University, Ekpoma. She has tried all she could: asking her mum to beg her dad, asking their pastor to help talk to her dad but all to no avail. She has finally made up her mind to run away since she does not feel happy staying in her home. She feels rejected. Schooling in UNIILORIN will take her far from the source of her sorrow temporary while she figures out a long term plan to be happy and be in charge of her life but it seems things are not working out.

I want to help her but I don’t have any ideas how. If she runs away where will she go? She may run into people who will take advantage of her. I have been encouraging her to keep striving to be happy but for how long, the situation seems to be getting worse. I need you advice so that we can do the needful so the lady can leave a fulfilled life. She always tells me she is not wanted but I keep inspiring her positively because I believe the rejected stone will one day become the keystone.

Cheers

My dear, stop being sentimental. You are basing ur judgment from a one sided view! Have you heard from other family members? Don't get carried away!

thank you everyone for you suggestions, I really appreciate.

I have decided not to be carried away by my emotions.
I will advice the girl not to run away, she should go with her father's wish since she will not be the one to sponsor herself and keep praying and being positive that God will change her parent's attitude towards her.

But if she decides to run away, I leave her to the protection of the Almighty who knows everything.

Thank you Nairalanders.