Unofficial Guide On How To Be A Man (nigerian Version)

2 years ago, a Twitter account (@GSElevator) published a popular article titled “Unofficial Goldman Sachs guide to being a man.”

Since then we’ve been itching to provide you with a Nigerian version. Here is the Nigerian version of Goldman Sachs guide to being a man, we hope you enjoy.


No one care if you graduated with a second class upper. The world is only interested in what you can deliver

Never look back and regret anything in your life, all of your experiences make up who you are today, if something were different, you might not
like who are anymore.

Always carry cash. A lot of extra cash

Get a suit. It does not matter if you look good dressing like Phyno or Wizkid.

Your father’s money is not your money.

Never stare at another man’s junk at the bathroom

If she exposes her body, then it’s okay to look, don’t stare.

It’s always cheaper to bribe a policeman. And make sure you let him know it’s a privilege not his right.

Approach everything you do in life honestly and with class, integrity and tact and you will always remain swell.

You do not have to be comfortable in a public transport. It’s not your parlor for crying out lout

People will notice if you use cheap perfume.

Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row… Unless something really good comes up on the third night.

Do not get a fake accent. Trust us.

Never date an ex of your friend.

Whenever you are unsure of what to wear, just remember “You can be underdressed, but you can never be overdressed”

Buy a newspaper every once in a while.

Open the door for ladies. Where are your manners?

Facebook is for networking, not your own reality Web series.

Always have an active internet subscription.

Do not argue with the cashier, always ask for the Manager.

Get a signature scent.

If you live in Borno, Adamawa or Yobe, then you have a death wish,well that's going to CHANGE soon, thanks to the president elect

When people don’t invite you to a party, you really shouldn’t go. And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.

If you want a girlfriend, the internet is the last place to look.

People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.

When in doubt, always kiss the girl.

Always give a tip for services rendered. It will make your life easier.

You probably use your cell phone too often and at the wrong moments.

Life is too short to cry over spilt milk.

You are not allowed to date a co-worker. You do not poo where you eat.

Make sure you savings can last up to three months if you lose your job.

Do 30 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.

Act like you’ve been there before. It doesn’t matter if it’s Aso Rock or on a private plane.

Do not hang out with criminals; the Nigeria police will not know the difference.

Get your own damn clipper.

Never be friends with a girl you have feelings for. Except you love pain, in which case, you should see a therapist.

Learn how to play a musical instrument.

If you do not have time to read a book, at least read an article online.

Selfies are for narcissist. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of friends.

You should be able to beat up three men who are your size.

Always wear a deodorant, it doesn’t matter if you need one or not.

Learn how to change a baby’s diaper. It doesn't mean you become"gberudani" (lady's toy),you're doing it for your unborn child

There’s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.


You can get away with a lot more if you’re the one buying the drinks.

Changing any lady’s mind should be a cake walk.

Don’t split a check.

Whenever you are in doubt, ask Google.

Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.

Do not break your words for anything, anything.

You should knot your own tie.

Be spontaneous.

Do not let anybody insult your mother and get away with it. Including a soldier.


Find a girl who is a Chimammanda in the streets and a Maheeda in the bedroom. She exists.

University girls are just secondary school girls with more time and (sometimes) more money.

Never take financial advice from anybody, except its Dangote, Bill Gates or Carlos Slim

You are allowed to forget your phone at home; you are not allowed to forget your clean white handkerchief.

Buy a tuxedo before you are thirty. Stay that size.

Just because its free beer, it doesn’t mean you should drink 10 crate, a crate is probably ok. . You get the point anyway

One girlfriend at a time is probably enough.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”

You are too old for facebook and 2go

You should have a role model and a mentor.

Boxers are better than pants. Why are you even thinking about this?

You may only request one song from the DJ.

Measure yourself only against your previous self.

Make sure you are always five minutes early.

When you admire the work of artists or writers, tell them. 
And spend money to acquire their work.

Just because you have a better phone (car) does not make you a better person.

Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner.

Staying angry is a waste of energy.

If she is rude to the waiter and nice to you. She is a rude person

Always bring a bottle of something to the party, preferably Coke, it's good to share.

Avoid that “last” whiskey. You’ve probably had enough.

When you are invited to go somewhere or try something new, say yes as often as you can, you never know what you might miss out on.

Buy drinks for your friends every once in a while.

Do not beg for sex. Just because you want beef, that does not mean you should call a cow your brother.

Drinking during the day and sometimes by yourself outdoor is good, it shows how irresponsible you are.

Date women older and outside your social set. You’ll be surprised.

If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.

You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.

Show me who you honor, and I will know the character of your person, for that shows me what your ideal of character is, and what kind of
person you long to be.

If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.

You should change your underwear each time you take your bath, just in case, you might get a mouth action.

Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.

Having at an expensive restaurant will not make you poor.

Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else’s brain, and will make you more interesting during social gatherings.

Learn to see the good in everything. Except Boko Haram, Boko Haram are bad people.

If you are in a relationship for sex alone, the a hooker would be a cheaper option.

Remember, “rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”

One cannot always be a hero, but one can always be a man.

You have to be a man, before you can become a gentleman

Life is short for you to argue about religion, sport or politics; you have nothing to gain, except enemies.


First published on nairaland last year March (a year plus)
This is a modified version, (upgraded version by ;Profstar
Source

http://giftedgreen.com/2014/blog/2014/03/03/unofficial-guide-on-how-to-be-a-man-nigerian-version/#sthash.65iaIAvq.dpuf

Totally cool

This is am old post. Say it on NL sometime ago

Finally...don't post what u are not on Nairaland..

Thank God it's unofficial. I'm still safe

braine:
This is am old post. Say it on NL sometime ago

yeah, it's one of the topics that got lost during the dark moment of Nairaland

achu442:
Finally...don't post what u are not on Nairaland..

you mean, i am not a gentleman

goofyone:
Thank God it's unofficial. I'm still safe

You definitely not save